Chapter 14

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OLIVIA'S HOME. CONTINUED.

"Olivia, please say something…please!" he begged. She slowly blinked her eyes.

"I'm here." She said in a small voice, tears falling down her face. He closed his eyes and sent a silent prayer of thanks to God.

"Please for good this time…promise me you won't leave again; promise me that no matter what, you're here and you won't leave again" he begged as he held her.

"Just don't let go…please don't let me go!" she whispered through her tears, holding him tight.

...

Olivia's POV…

No matter how much it hurt to go back, I couldn't stay. He's the love of my life and he needs me; we need each other, it's the only way we can ever even hope to put our lives back together. I'm afraid and I don't know if I'm strong enough for this, but feeling the safety of his arms gives me everything I need to try.

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BRIAN AND ALEX'APARTMENT

"Do you understand what Daddy and I are saying?" Alex asked her daughter who sat across from her and Brian at the kitchen counter, a look of disappointment on her small face. Winnie looked from her mother to her father and simply shook her head. Alex looked to Brian, who in turn looked at Winnie.

"Baby, what your mom and I are trying to say is…" but he saw the hurt in his daughter's huge, blue eyes and suddenly lost his nerve. "Um…you know what? We are gonna be late for the zoo and we need to pick up Zara so why don't you run and pick out something to wear?"

'We're going to the zoo?!" Winnie suddenly broke out of her funk.

"We are."

"And Zara's coming?! Thank you Daddy!" she cried as she hopped down from her seat and ran to her father, throwing her arms around his waist. Brian looked down at her, smiling.

"Better hurry!"

"K!" she let go and ran for the kitchen stairs.

"I'll be up in a minute" Alex called after her.

"Okay mommy! I'm going to the zoo with Zara…" she sang gleefully as she made her way up the stairs as Alex got up to go follow her."

"The zoo?" She asked incredulously

"Babe, she was gonna cry!" he defended as he walked over to the phone on the kitchen wall.

"Who are you calling?"

"Nick, to see of Zara can go to the zoo" He answered. Alex shook her head and started up the stairs.

I need to get Winnie ready, the boys will be up any minute…" she began just as she heard their cries over the monitor.

"Babe, I got it, you feed the babies and I'll get Winnie together." He said and kissed her on the lips. "Hey, Amaro…" he said into the phone when Nick picked up on the other end.

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Two weeks later…

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ELLIOT'S APARTMENT

As the housekeeper went about cleaning in the bedroom, Elliot was packing a few things into a small suitcase from inside the massive walk-in closet when Mairym walked in.

"Do you mind Conception?" she rudely said to the housekeeper

"Concepción!" the older woman angrily corrected her

"Tomato, potato. Vamoose!" Mairym said as she waved her hand dismissively at the housekeeper.

"Puta blanca retrasados!" Concepción angrily spat as she left the bedroom.

"NO NINTENDO! SPEAK ENGLISH, S'IL VOUS PLAÎT!" Mairym yelled before walking into the closet.

"You're an idiot!" Elliot bluntly stated.

"You're packing?"

"Let's see: suitcase, clothes. Nothin gets past you, does it?"

"Ha ha!" she walked over and wrapped her arms around his waist from behind.

"What do you want?" he asked as he zipped the suitcase.

"Where are you going?"

"Business trip"

"Where?"

"None of your business." He grabbed her arms and broke their hold, walking away from her.

"Stalkers convention?" he looked over at her, annoyance on his face. "Don't forget to pack your night vision goggles!"

"Shut it!"

"How long will you be gone?"

"Until I get back"

"I'm your wife"

"Only on paper." He picked up the suitcase and turned to go.

"Aren't you going to kiss me goodbye?"

"For what?"

"Forget it!"

"Forgotten!" he agreed and again, turned to leave

"Elliot" she called. He stopped in the doorway and sighed, annoyed.

"What?"

"Is there any part of you; even a little one that loves me; even a tiny bit?"

He was silent for a brief moment in which he let out a deep breath and turned around to look at her, standing in the middle of the dressing area as she fingered the tie he'd left on the countertop.

"No." he said and walked out. She didn't respond, just stood still for a moment, as she watched him leave, hatred burning in her eyes for the man she'd lost herself to. She was well aware that she wasn't the most respectable woman in many aspects, but she had put up with way more from Elliot than anyone should and this was the thanks she got?

"Maybe it's time to cut my losses and get out" she said out loud to herself but then she looked over at the racks and racks of high-end designer clothes and accessories she now owned.

"But then, who will buy me pretty things?" she reasoned, smiling as she picked up her brand new Balenciaga purse to admire it, suddenly wincing at the pain that throbbed in her shoulder. Her smile faded as she thought about how he'd slammed her, face first into a wall last night and proceeded to violently twist her arm behind her back, threatening to snap it if she made a sound. She shuddered as she shook the thought away and dropped the bag back in its place and allowed the tears that had built behind her eyes to release, quickly flooding her face before turning and hurling a vase, shattering it against one of the many mirrors that covered the walls.

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OLIVIA'S HOME

She sat curled in the chaise lounge by the living room window, lost in a memory.

Trevor walked in from the bathroom, still wet from his shower and looked over at Olivia who was now sitting up in bed with a look of surprise on her face.

"Liv, honey you okay?" he asked, alarmed when he saw her hand pressed to her belly.

"She kicked!" Olivia exclaimed

"And I missed it?" he cried as he made his way over to the bed and put his hand on her stomach…

She remembered how their daughter kicked again immediately as if doing it just for her father and how he smiled brighter than she'd ever seen him smile before. She put a hand to her now empty womb and wiped the tear that hand begun making its way down her cheek just as Trevor entered the room carrying the tea she'd asked for. She noticed that he was still in a suit. He'd gone in to the office for a few hours this morning and had gotten home less than a half hour ago after deciding that he needed to be home with Olivia. He sat the mug down on the table beside the chair before taking a seat at the end of the chaise.

"You ok?" he asked as he gently took her hand in his.

"Yeah I was just…no." she confessed and looked away from him to stare out the window at the bird that had perched itself oh the ledge. "I'm so sorry" she apologized in a shaky whisper.

"Honey, I don't blame you for what happened, I-"

"I blame me enough for both of us" she said as she licked the tears from her lip. His heart shattered.

"Liv, don't-"

"I meant that I'm sorry for leaving you to deal with this on your own…I just couldn't…I didn't know what else…"

"You're here now" he said as he wiped her tears with his thumbs. "That's all that matters; we'll get through this…together, ok?" she nodded as she was again overcome with tears and threw herself into his arms, allowing the sound of his beating heart to soothe her as she lightly pressed her palm against it. She cried as she held him tight and he kissed the top of her head. Their moment interrupted when the doorbell rang.

"I'll be right back" he said, kissing her again before he got up.

He made his way out of the living room and to the door, surprised at who he saw though the glass panels.

"What are you doing here?" he asked upon opening the door. Mairym was standing outside, holding a large bouquet of flowers.

"I uh…I came to see Olivia." she said. Trevor was unsure of what to say to her and became worried when Olivia appeared at the door.

"I'm gonna go upstairs and…Mairym!"

"Hello Olivia…can I come in?"

"Look, if you're here to be Elliot's mouthpiece…" she began as she entwined her fingers with Trevor's and held onto his hand. Mairym noticed the gesture.

"I'm not, I swear." Olivia looked over at Trevor.

"Baby, could you give us a minute?" she asked, her voice dull and tired.

"I'll be in the study." He said and kissed her hand before walking away. Olivia motioned for Mairym to come into the house.

"So why are you here?" Olivia asked as she shut the door.

"I heard about your baby…I wanted to come sooner but… anyway I brought you these." She answered as she tried to give Olivia the flowers she was carrying but Olivia just stood looking at her, her eyes tearing up at the mention of her baby.

"Why?"

"Come on Olivia, we were friends at one time"

"Were"

"I didn't come here to cause you pain I just…I wanted to say that I'm sorry."

Olivia grew quiet.

"How are you holding up? I imagine it must be hard."

"Why did you come here? Did you wanna see for yourself how much pain I'm in?" she accused, never raising her voice above the dull, almost whisper she spoke in.

"No, I…"

"Do you want me to tell you how much I'm hurting and that It would be easier if I had died? Or that every day I want to because lying in a grave would be easier than waking up every day knowing that the child I carried for nine months is dead and I can't even remember how it happened. Sorry to disappoint you, but I don't know how to put that kind of pain into words so you'll just have to paint your own picture!" she said as tears spilled down her face, tears that she didn't bother to wipe away.

Mairym stood there in front of the woman she'd spent the last four years envying for her beauty and kindness, her intelligence, strength and confidence. Yet right now, all she saw was a shell of that woman. There was no spark, the light inside of her had gone out.

"Olivia, I didn't mean…"

"Doesn't really matter now, does it? You can let yourself out, I'm tired." She said as she turned and slowly walked up the stairs, not bothering to look back. Mairym stood for a brief moment before placing the flowers on the table beside the staircase and walking out of the front door, shutting it behind her.

...

Upstairs…

Olivia's POV

I lay in bed, staring up at the ceiling, wishing that I could undo the last six weeks of my life. I know that I have to face what's happened but it's so much harder than I thought it would be, everything reminds me of her. Everything I say or do sends my mind back to my baby, even looking at her father. Trevor did everything he could to make it easier but he didn't know how to be around me; it's like he thought that at any moment I would break and retreat again and he was just holding his breath waiting for it to happen.

"You ok?" Trevor asked quietly from where he stood at the door, I could tell by his voice that he was frightened at seeing me lying here so perfectly still.

"I'm trying to be" I responded without taking my eyes away from the ceiling. "Trevor, breathe. I'm not slipping away again." I assured him.

"I'm sorry, I just…" he apologized as he made his way over to the bed and sat down

"It's ok." I said and turned my head to look at him, then took his hand. "I don't want you to feel like you have to walk on eggshells around me; it's been over a month, I want us to at least try to get back to normal."

"I want that too." he smiled. With my other hand, I reached out to caress his face. He kissed my palm and lay down beside me.

"Our friends and family are dying to see you."

"I'm just not ready yet." I said and turned to stare again at the ceiling. "Everyone will want to talk about it and give their condolences…I can't hear them right now."

"There must be something really interesting about that ceiling" he joked as he turned on his back and joined me in staring at it. we lay there silently for a moment just looking up.

"Tell me this will all be ok."

He squeezed my hand and looked over at me.

"I promise you, it'll be ok…I just need you to trust in us." I turned and snuggled against him, my head on his chest and let myself take in his scent.

"I've missed this; us being close." I said as I smoothed my hand across his chest

"Me too." I looked up at him as he stared down at me.

"What if I can't make you happy? What if I'm never the same? What if…"

"Liv, you will always make me happy; no amount of tears or sadness can ever change that. What happened…it changed us both but as long as we're determined that it won't break us, we'll be fine…I love you!"My eyes suddenly flooded with tears.

"I love you!" I said as they spilled. He smiled and wiped them away before leaning in to to sweetly kiss my lipsas he wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me tighter against his body. We hadn't gotten this close in a long time and I was surprised to feel him grow hard beneath my thigh.

"I'm sorry, I –" He began to pull away, embarrassed by his erection.

"No, don't be." I caressed his face. "It's been a while"

"It has, but there's no rush"

"I want to..."

"Baby, you don't…"

"I know; but I need you right now; I need us…you're the only thing that can shut out this noise in my head" I whispered against his mouth.

In moments I was beneath him and we were pulling each other's clothes away from our bodies. Our lovemaking was slow, sweet and tender yet intense. I clung to him desperately, missing him more now that I was in his arms and he was inside me. He held me so tightly that even air couldn't get between us yet still, I felt as if we couldn't get close enough, he couldn't get deep enough; and I wished that I could somehow fuse our bodies together as I cried out again and again. I came three times before he allowed his own release and afterwards, he broke down in my arms and sobbed. I didn't ask questions as his hot tears trailed my skin, instead, I held him and kissed him and let him cry until he had let go of every tear that he hadn't shed all these weeks and I cried with him. In that moment I knew that we had to get through this. There was no way we were going to go through this much pain for nothing and I decided right there that I would not allow that accident to take another thing from us; we would survive. We had to for Chloe.

We never left the bed that day. We stayed there and talked and made love again and again until night had fallen and Trevor was fast asleep, but sleep wouldn't come for me tonight and I lay there beside him in the dark, listening as the spring air rustled through the leaves of the tree outside my window while I again stared up at the ceiling.

After a moment I looked over at Trevor; he looked so peaceful lying there. I brushed a lock of hair away from his forehead with my fingers and caressed his face before moving his arm from around me and slipping out of bed then grabbed for my silk robe that Trevor had taken off me I and put it on, loosely tying it as I walked out of our bedroom.

I made my way down the dark hallway and stood there for a moment with my hand on the doorknob before I twisted it to open the door and walked inside. I didn't bother turning on the light, there was enough glow from the moon to allow me to see my way around. I went over to the closet and opened the double doors, taking a deep breath before allowing my fingers to skim over the beautiful little dresses that dangled from tiny satin hangers. I lifted one from the bar – a pink tutu style dress. I remember the day I saw it in the boutique window, I knew that Chloe had to have it and went right inside to buy it; along with a ton of other things I hadn't planned on. I smiled at the memory as I put the tiny outfit back into the closet and slowly closed the doors and walked over to her crib. I didn't touch it, just imagined what it would have felt like in the middle of the night, like now, to come in here to answer her cries. Maybe she'd need her diaper changed, or maybe she'd need to be fed or maybe she'd just be lonely and want the comfort of my arms or the sound of my voice to soothe her back to sleep.

I tied my robe tighter and wrapped my arms around myself, there was a sudden chill in the air that when it hit my exposed skin it caused me to shiver and I quickly went to the window to close it; before I knew it, I was sitting in the giant pink chair and picking up the pink stuffed bunny that sat beside me and I sighed.

"We are never going to forget you baby girl" I said out loud, hoping that somewhere, some way she would hear me. I tucked my legs beneath me and allowed myself to sink back into the chair, my arms wrapped tight around me and I let my tears fall as my mind began to wander.

.

"You need anything before I go?" Trevor asked, looking down at her as she lay in bed.

"Yes" she answered. "but I wouldn't wanna make you late for your game."

"We've been at it all morning, aren't you sore?" he grinned

"Hey, it's your fault that my hormones are out of control! Besides, I'm a big girl, I can take it."

Trevor laughed and planted a quick kiss on her lips.

"I'm gonna hold you to that when I get back." he promised and rubbed her belly before leaving the bedroom.

She quickly sat upright in the chair, her heart now pounding hard in her chest.

"Oh my God!" she exclaimed and got up from the chair, leaving the nursery and making her way down the hall to her bedroom where she jumped onto the bed and began shaking Trevor awake.

"Trevor, wake up!" she cried.

"What's wrong?" he asked, somewhat disoriented at having just woken from a deep sleep.

"I think I remembered something!"

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ELLIOT'S APARTMENT

Mairym sat out on the terrace at this late hour, the chilly night air whipping through her hair and the thin, silk slip she wore, but it was as if she didn't feel the cold as she continued to drag on the cigarette she held between her bony fingers; her tenth since she'd been sitting there, then took a small sip from the glass of Merlot that sat on the small table beside the chair in which she sat.

She wasn't much of a drinker, never had been, but right now she needed something to dull her nerves. Ever since she'd left Olivia's earlier, she'd been on edge. It had been nearly 2 months since losing the baby but it was clear that it had destroyed her, she'd never seen Olivia in such a state of grief; not even when her marriage had fallen apart.

"the child I carried for nine months is dead and I can't even remember how it happened…"

It had gotten to her. She knew that she would never be able to get the words out of her head, or forget the pain in them. She didn't remember the accident that really wasn't; he had done it. He'd stalked and harassed Olivia, even in spite of the restraining order until he'd gotten to her and hurt her in the worst way possible. He killed her child! It wasn't like an early stage miscarriage; she was due to give birth any day! Hell, she'd seen Olivia just two days prior, she was huge! She looked like she was about to burst at that very moment. Who could hurt an innocent baby? She thought to herself. How could he do something so evil to someone he says he loves? Did he really believe that he had done her a favor?

She stubbed out her cigarette in the ashtray and reached for the pack to grab another.

"she'll see that I did her a fucking favor!"

"You sick fuck!" she said just as she put the cigarette to her lips and lit it, her hand shaking as she took a long pull from it then, after letting the smoke out through her nose, she put the cigarette out in the ashtray, finished the rest of her wine in one gulp and stood up.

"I get the last laugh Elliot!" she said, tears streaming her face as she looked back at the apartment then climbed up onto the ledge of the terrace and simply let herself fall, not making a sound as she plunged to her death.

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I said that the shit would start hitting the fan and I meant it! Thoughts? Hit the review button, I love to hear from you guys! Until next time!