The Other Bella Swan
"Bella, don't say anything," whispered Jake in my ear. I shivered by his teeth grazing my earlobe. "He needs to tell her." I nodded in understanding, but my mind still buzzed. Was anything normal going to happen in my life?
Night fell pretty quickly. I hadn't expected to stay past six but at a glance at my watch, it read nine thirty. I wanted to head home to cook for Charlie, but I had an urge to remain at Jake's side.
Only a few hours ago Jacob told me of imprinting, and because of what he said, I never wanted to leave him. I had just got on a role with him a month ago. Would he abandon me like Edward? Leave me in the dust with a hole in my chest, only for another monster to steal my heart and break it again? But he said the imprinter would be anything for the imprintee. Is it possible that the girl would ask for only a brotherly relationship? But why would she do that? All the women under this wolf spell seem to love the man adorably.
I felt my eyelids droop as Jared was telling a joke. Sam and Emily, along with Jared and Kim, were snuggled close while Seth, Paul, Embry, and Jess sprawled across the grass with no room on the table. Jake to the liberty to wrap me close from the chilly air on the boulder and I sighed in relief with his warm skin.
"Hey, sleepy, want me to take you home?" asked Jake when I dozed for a minute. I wanted to shake my head no, to stay under the stars with him, his forest scent filling my nostrils.
"We actually should all head home. I have a paper due that I didn't even get a topic for on Monday." Said Paul. I sighed tiredly. I was sleepy, but also I wouldn't have the guts to leave by myself.
Emily and Sam climbed into their car while Paul and Seth walked into the woods. I looked on in sadness, knowing that Seth would have to live this life of danger and control. He was only fifteen, for god's sake! Yet as he walked off, he stood nearly three inches taller then me with the build and face of a man, his years of being free and a wild teenager taken from him…just like my Jacob.
Embry went to follow them, but cautiously approached Jess who was eyeing him from the corner of her eye.
"I had fun. You should come down here more often," he spoke with a sly grin. I smiled with my face covered from the darkness as Jess grinned back and swayed on the spot.
"Yeah, I would love that," replied Jess with a blush. But when he nodded in return and headed to the trees where Seth and Paul vanished she frowned in confusion. "Wait! Where are you going? Don't you want a ride?" she hollered after him.
Embry turned to wave from the brush before running off in the dark. Jess titled her head puzzled and faced Jake.
"He doesn't live far from here. It's ok," answered Jake simply, but I knew it wasn't home he was running to.
Jake volunteered to drive Jess and me home and I was glad for his company. I was too drossy to talk with Jess about Embry, so I sat in the back as Jake answered all Jess's questions.
"What is his favorite food? Does he have a car? How'd you guys meet? Is he dating? What is his—"
"Jess!" I called out from my snuggled corner. I didn't even bother to open my eyes. "Be calm. Breathe in, breathe out…"
Jess rolled her eyes, but continued to look at Jake for answers.
" He loves mushroom pizza, eat a whole pie himself, and he is waiting for enough money to buy this pickup, we meet at six, and no he isn't dating. Plus, I'm sure he would love to see you again."
Jess smiled at this and stared out the window in silence. I should have been happy for her, but a storm was rumbling in my stomach. Was it Jealousy? Why would I be jealousy? Was it because I was aware of the life these boys had and she was hidden in the dark? Was it She met a boy for her that didn't ignore her for weeks and crack the reformed heart?
No, it was none of those things. It was because her soul mate was hers; she no longer had to wait for him. Because she would soon find out that he won't go anywhere without her, and not to worry of some other woman taking him away. But I was. Jake could be here, protecting, loving, helping me, but then tomorrow he could be swift away from some stranger. Would that ever happen? I prayed no, but my mind thought a different solution.
You think this imprint problem will go away? You are wrong to consider that!
No, Jake loves me. Nothing will break what we have!
Keep saying it while you still have him. But once he is gone, you will be alone. Just like before.
Edward's face shown in my memory. The face he had when we went to the meadow. But then it switched to the face he wore the day he left me. Hard and cold. I wished for Jake to never carry that.
Jess was dropped of at her house within fifteen minutes, and Jake drove rather fast to my house. This made me uncomfortable. He didn't even speak a word.
Charlie's cruiser sat in the driveway, which was probably the reason why the living room lights were on.
Jake turned off the truck, which was a sign that he wasn't leaving soon. I jumped out to stand beside him has we walked to the house. We didn't even reach the steps when he stopped abruptly. I turned to meet his sober face.
"Bella, I saw the way you looked at Kim and Jared and Jess and Embry. Does the imprinting bother you?"
My brain was answering for me in my head. Course it bothers me! How can I trust you won't abandon me?
"Jake. I'm just worried about loosing you," I admitted under my breath. But I knew his ears could hear me.
"I told you, I love you."
"For now," I said softly. He wasn't happy about that.
"Why can't you believe me?"
"I believe the normal-Jacob. Just not the wolf-Jacob."
"I'm still the same Jake, Bells," he pleaded with a step closer. "I'm still here, still the boy you befriended, the man you fell in love with."
"But what if you went to school and saw some girl? Wouldn't you love her?"
"That will not happen! I have seen ever girl there, in fact, every girl on the reserve! There are no risks."
"But what about Embry? He didn't imprint on a Native American Quileute. How do I know you will not meet someone from my school?"
He stepped so close to me that I had to bend my head far back to look up at him. His face was raw with anger.
"I will never know, Bella! No one can! Can't you see? I am following a path of no choices! No secrets! I need you to help me through this! So please, just forget it!"
"I can't, Jacob!" I yelled back frustrated. I stepped away from him. "There is no way for me to erase this! I have to go!" I went to stomp onto the steps, but Jake's arm grabbed me.
"Bella! This is stupid!" he said with deep eyes.
"No, Jake, this," I motioned to us together, "is stupid! What is the point if you could be taken away! I'm sorry, Jacob, but I can't shatter my heart again." I turned away, his hand releasing me. I didn't want to see his face.
"It's too late for my heart," he whispered. I swiftly faced him again, but he was already disappearing in the shadows across the lawn.
I shook my head violently and groaned out in anger. Whipping around I went into the house, passing a shocked Charlie, and slammed the bathroom door.
Why? Why did I do that!
Because it was right. He would have broken you when you got too close.
Maybe he was right! Maybe I shouldn't have worried.
What? Are you crazy?
Crazy in love with a man I lost.
For the first time in weeks, I actually saw myself in the mirror. At the eyes, nose, and lips. I was different. My hair was no longer smooth and deep brown. Instead it was more wild, but in a pretty way, with golden highlights. My once very pale skin was just a shade tanner, and my body… it was as thin as before. I must have gained at least ten pounds, but in all the right places. My glassy eyes shone more bright as if the misty reflection vanished.
Vanished like the love of my life.