IF had been suspicious about Nepgear's whereabouts for over a week before the announcement that Planeptune and Lastation would be merging. At first, she didn't think anything of it — taking a few days off wouldn't have been shocking given how hard the two Planeptune sisters had been working. IF was frankly more surprised that Neptune hadn't taken a break yet. Given how long IF had known the two girls, seeing them working themselves like this was just... strange.
Her suspicions had been confirmed a few days ago when Black Heart had made an announcement to Gamindustri and Histoire had followed it up by calling Neptune and Nepgear's closest friends to explain the situation to them.
For the longest time, IF had been feeling guilty about this. She had been watching two of her best friends work themselves to the bone, and yet...
She had been born in Leanbox.
She had grown up in Leanbox.
Even now, with poor Nepgear in a coma, with Neptune's life on the line... Even with all of that...!
She worshiped Green Heart.
She couldn't help it. It was a part of who she was. It was a part of her identity — not to mention that the idea of worshiping Neptune of all people was just... strange to her. Neptune was her friend. But it was because Neptune was her friend that IF now found herself feeling so horrible. No matter how badly she wanted to do it, even if the mere idea that just one person's beliefs could change something in this dire situation was ludicrous, IF still couldn't help but feel conflicted — not to mention guilty.
So to make up for what IF felt was a complete and utter betrayal of her friend, she had been taking as many quests as she could, all in Planeptune's name. If she couldn't raise shares through her own beliefs, then she could do it the old fashioned way.
But even IF had her limits, and IF was no goddess. Even if she was being fueled by her guilt, foolish as she knew it was, there was a point when she knew she'd have to stop working and let her body recover.
But as long as Nepgear wasn't awake... But as long as she wasn't able to smile...!
IF swore to herself that she wouldn't rest. She didn't care that things were out of her hands now — that in just a few days, Neptune and Noire would be married and both Planeptune sisters would be on the road to recovery. That didn't help them right now, did it?
And it didn't help her feel like she hadn't betrayed them any less.
This was IF's mindset as she made her way to the Guild for what seemed like the millionth time, ready to accept the millionth quest, and do whatever she could. Shares were quite literally the life of her friends — meaning the more shares she could bring in, the better off they were. If a single quest was just a single drop of liquid in the glass of medicine that needed to be filled for her friends, then she'd do quests until that glass could be filled ten times over if she had to!
Unfortunately for IF, the phrase "mind over matter" didn't always succeed, and this case would be no exception to that. She had been going for days without sleep on her guilt-fueled quest, rarely stopping to eat or drink, and her body was tired. Her muscles ached, and her vision was starting to blur — but whenever she closed her eyes, the only thing she could see were Neptune and Nepgear, trapped in that horrible Graveyard...
She couldn't let them down! She couldn't let them end up like that again! She couldn't, she just couldn't...!
She just... couldn't...
"Iffy!"
The last thing IF heard before she collapsed onto the sidewalk was the voice of a certain nurse rushing to her side. After that, there was only darkness.
"She's been doing quests this whole time?"
After finishing their breakfast the next morning, Neptune and Noire had finally gotten a game going (yes, together) when they'd gotten the call from Compa. Apparently, IF had collapsed in the middle of the street, and since the Basilicom was the closest place to bring her to recover, Compa was rushing over with her. Now, roughly ten minutes later, IF was sound asleep in one of the Basilicom's guest rooms, with Compa explaining the brunette's state of affairs to the two CPUs.
"She's felt so guilty, Nep-Nep..." Wiping her eyes, Compa sniffled. She had thought the worst when she'd seen IF collapse — especially considering how close to the street she had been! A car could have hit her and that would have been the end of her! "And you know how she gets when she wants to do something. She doesn't give up on it, no matter what."
"That's Iffy for you alright..." Neptune smiled, feeling both guilty and genuinely touched by how hard her friend had been working for her and Nepgear's sakes. Noire wasn't the only person she owed a lot to — when she was back in tip top shape, she was going to make it up to everybody who worked their butts off for her and Nepgear. She swore it. "But she'll be okay, right? Just has to rest up and recharge her battieries and all, doesn't she?"
"That's right," offering a smile of her own, Compa nodded at the CPU, before turning back to the sleeping form of IF and giving her hand a loving squeeze — something that did not go unnoticed by Neptune and Noire. "Iffy is strong, but I'm gonna make sure she comes back from this twice as strong so it never happens again!"
"You tell 'em, Compa!" Neptune cheered her friend on, pumping a fist into the air. It was during times like this that one needed to be positive, after all — and, as Noire watched the two start to talk about old times together, she couldn't help but think to herself one thing:
IF wasn't a CPU.
IF could recover from this just fine if she allowed herself the proper time to rest and gave herself the proper treatment. The same could not be said for a CPU without shares — you couldn't just go to sleep or eat and expect the shares to come back. If they were gone and they weren't rising through your work, then they were just... gone.
Noire clenched her fists, clutching the sides of her skirt, and grit her teeth.
She couldn't allow feelings to blind her, no matter how much these past few encounters with Neptune had made her want to. Neptune... Neptune was Neptune. Clueless, clumsy, lazy Neptune. Noire had never expected anything in return from her — and to be quite frank, a lot of the time, Neptune could be so frustrating that Noire sometimes questioned if she even wanted anything from her.
But now she was getting it. She was marrying Neptune, but at the same time, perhaps because fate was just cruel like that, it had absolutely nothing to do with either of their feelings — and what if Noire were to bring them up? What would Neptune think of her then? That she had offered to marry Neptune just to guilt-trip her into returning Noire's feelings? That she had offered to marry Neptune to take advantage of her, knowing Neptune would be indebted to Noire after saving Nepgear's life?
There was no way it could work out between them now. That near-kiss in the bedroom... Everything that had happened yesterday... Whatever was happening, it had definitely been a fluke, of that Noire was positive.
Her chest was heavy. Her eyes were starting to burn with the familiar sensation of incoming tears. Realizing she had just, all on her own, crushed all the hopes and desires and dreams that had been sneaking their way into her heart over the past few days, Noire knew she needed an escape. She couldn't be seen like this.
"I- I'm going to go find Uni. Excuse me," Noire hurriedly left the room without waiting for a response, hiding her face with her hands, leaving Neptune and Compa to watch her go in confusion. Had they said something wrong? Had they offended the Lastation CPU somehow? Or was something wrong with her...?
With Noire gone, Neptune dropped her head to her chest and let out a loud groan, before reaching both hands to her head and running them frantically through her hair.
"Nep-Nep...?"
"Aaaargh! Compa, this sucks!" Stomping her foot, Neptune crossed her arms — taking on a very Noire-like pose. "I should be happy, right? I mean, Nepgear's gonna be okay, Planeptune's gonna be okay, and I'm gonna be okay, but... But this whole thing with Noire has got me all... I don't even know! It's like all the items in my inventory don't have descriptions anymore and they expect me to remember what they all do!"
"I... think it would be hard to be happy, given everything it took getting here, Nep-Nep," Compa started gently. Truthfully, though, she was rather interested in that last bit Neptune had said. It was almost as unlike Neptune to be flustered and confused (well, maybe more flustered — confusion was normal enough for Neptune) as it was for her to be working. ... Though given how often she'd been working lately, that was probably a bad analogy... "What thing with Noire? You mean the marriage?"
Neptune nodded furiously.
"Yeah, that!" Neptune sat herself down in a chair next to IF's bed and began to recount to Compa everything that had happened since she had found out that she was going to be marrying Noire — the incident in the bed, teasing her about who was player one and who was player two, how all thoughts somehow kept leading back to Noire, the... thing that totally hadn't been a date, and most importantly, how confused she'd been feeling about it all.
"I don't know, Nep-Nep..." Compa tilted her head thoughtfully, looking at Neptune with... pity in her eyes? Did she know something Neptune didn't? "But if I had to make a guess... Well, a nurse's diagnosis, I mean..."
"... Stupid... Hold on a minute. I'll tell her what it means..."
"Iffy-!?" Compa and Neptune both sprung up at the sound of a voice they were sure they wouldn't be hearing for at least another few hours, if not longer. Rushing to IF's side, Compa tried to push her down onto the bed. "Iffy, stop, you need your rest, you shouldn't be getting up yet-"
"Oh, please, like I could rest with Neppy here having a crisis like this," IF rolled her eyes and shrugged Compa's arms off of her — but as soon as she did, she looked Compa firmly in the eyes and spoke softly, in a voice that Neptune had rarely heard the girl use before. It must have been a tone reserved just for Compa. "I'll go back to sleep in a minute. Just let me have my say, okay?"
"... Okay, but after this, you go right back to bed, okay missy?" In a valiant attempt to look like the tough doctor who wouldn't stand for her rules being broken, Compa put her hands on her hips and put on the fiercest expression she could muster. In Compa's mind, it was an expression that was surely enough to shake down even the Deity of Sin!
... Needless to say, when IF just smiled in response, it could only be expected.
"Roger, roger..." Shaking her head, IF winked at the nurse, who was looking positively astonished that IF hadn't faltered from her fierce mental attack, before turning to Neptune. "And as for you..."
Oh boy... Here comes one of Iffy's lectures...
IF lowered her head.
"I guess Compa already told what I've been doing these past few weeks, so I'm really in no place to tell you off for being stupid, but I'm still your friend, Neptune," IF's voice was soft. She wasn't sure whether she should smile or frown. No matter what happened in the future, she wasn't sure if she'd ever be able to let go of the guilt she felt for how things had turned, no matter how much she told herself it wasn't her fault.
But that was that, and this situation with Neptune and Noire was something else entirely.
"And as your friend, I'm not gonna sit by and let you flail around like a poor, helpless Dogoo that some Ancient Dragon stepped on and made flat!" IF added, pushing aside her own feelings and putting Neptune's at the forefront of her thoughts.
Torn between laughing and shuddering at the analogy, Neptune tried to follow IF's train of thought.
"Am I really flailing around, Iffy?"
"You bet your little tush you are!" It was obvious to IF what was going on here, even if Neptune herself couldn't figure it out. Compa stepped forward, putting her hand on IF's shoulder, which immediately sagged. "I know, I know. Don't overwork myself, right?"
"You've got it," came Compa's cheery response. Somehow, if IF could just get enough of that voice, she felt like she'd feel better in no time... Not that said voice's owner would appreciate IF skipping out on rest to listen to her.
"... Well, you heard the lady," IF sighed. "I guess that means I'm gonna have to just do this the hard way."
"The hard way?" IF had never made things easy before, if she was going out of her way to make it harder for Neptune, then the CPU wasn't sure if she'd be able to take it! Oh, how she wished that this was the IF she had helped raise from diapers right now — at least then she would have some firepower to help ease the burn.
"Yep. The hard way," IF cracked her knuckles and rolled neck, giving Neptune her own look of ferocity... Though unlike with Compa and herself, Neptune had the decency to cower in fear. Good for her. "I'm going to be blunt with you. I'm going to tell you what's wrong and you're going to go and do something about it. Are we clear?"
IF paused, looking at Compa for a brief moment, a look Compa returned with a knowing one of her own, before continuing.
"... And you're going to trust me, because I happen to know exactly what I'm talking about."
"Yes ma'am!" Neptune offered IF a mock salute, hoping to diffuse the situation somewhat by acting like her usual, goofy self. This, however, only made IF chuckle. Neptune really didn't like where this was going... And yet, she had a sneaking suspicion...
And then it came. Exactly what Neptune had been hoping for, worrying about, and fearing all at once.
"You, Neptune..." Had IF been standing up, Neptune was positive that a dramatic gust of wind would have been blowing behind her right about now. In fact, if Neptune didn't know better, those bedsheets might have been rustling — if only a little bit. "... are falling for the CPU of Lastation!"
Compa clapped her hands together, making an "I knew it!" pose and appearing very proud of herself.
Neptune, on the other hand, burst out laughing.
IF and Compa watched the girl, waiting for her to stop, but Neptune kept forcing the laughter — her mind was reeling. It wasn't that Neptune was entirely shocked by this revelation — after all, she herself had been thinking about the same possibility for a while now, more or less. Deep down, she almost felt like she'd figured it out for sure when she'd watched Noire make her wish at the fountain, but... But to have someone else just throw your feelings in your face like that?
Neptune needed some time to recover! She needed to... She needed to deny this! Her innocent little heart wasn't ready!
"Me? Falling for Noire?" Neptune finally managed to speak after she had caught her breath. Waving her hand at IF dismissively, Neptune shook her head back and forth. She continued, but she knew better than anyone that even she didn't believe the words coming out of her mouth anymore. "You must be out of your mind, IF! Who would ever love that friendless sourpuss? Come on!"
"Compa thinks the lady does protest too much," Compa remarked, that knowing smile on her face growing wider and wider. Beads of sweat began to roll down the back of Neptune's neck, but she wouldn't give in there.
"That's 'doth,' Compa..." IF shook her head before turning back to Neptune. "Okay, tell me I'm wrong after everything you told Compa. And I do mean everything."
Neptune gulped.
"Tell me I'm wrong after you couldn't stop ogling her."
Neptune gulped down a laugh.
"Tell me I'm wrong after you almost kissed her."
Neptune gulped down a chuckle.
"Tell me I'm wrong after you kept staring at her lips."
Neptune gulped down a guffaw.
"Tell me I'm wrong after you couldn't stop thinking about what she might be working on."
Neptune gulped down a gasp.
"Tell me I'm wrong after how you were staring at her at that fountain."
Neptune gulped down a breath.
"Tell me I'm wrong after you couldn't stop thinking about what she'd look like in cosplay."
Neptune gulped down a gulp.
"Tell me I'm wrong after that date — yes, after how you described it, it was totally a date — that you two had yesterday."
Neptune was out of things to gulp down.
"And lastly, tell me I'm wrong after you couldn't stop thinking about what she might be eating for goodness sakes!"
"Stooooop! I give, I give!" Defeated, Neptune fell to the ground and hung her head, her cheeks burning too much for her to stand it. She couldn't deny a single thing IF was accusing her of any longer, much as she really, really wanted to... Or did she? Honestly, how many times had she thought to herself "this wouldn't be so bad" the day before...? "... Okay, okay... I give."
"There. Was that so hard?" IF paused, considering her words. Now she had to appeal to her thick friend, and everything would fall perfectly into place. "And does it really feel like it would be such a bad thing? Think about it for a minute."
"... No..." It looked like Neptune was pouting — more because she'd been proven wrong than anything, but at least she seemed to be taking it well. The more she sat and thought about it, though... Would it really be a bad thing at all?
This was Noire she was talking about. Noire, the sourpuss who worked herself late into the night with no regard for her own health... and she'd always do a great job. Noire, the cosplayer who would always get ridiculously flustered whenever she was caught in the act... and she'd always look cute no matter what she wore. Noire, the loser who would have so many more friends if she'd just lower her guard once in a while.
... Noire, the CPU who was willing to risk her entire nation just for Neptune's sake. Noire, the girl who had known just what Neptune needed to hear when she had been at her weakest. Noire, the young woman that Neptune couldn't help but admit was a stone cold fox. Noire, the doofus that Neptune absolutely loved to get a rise out of. Noire, the fiend who knew just where Neptune was ticklish. Noire, the woman who Neptune was realizing more and more was someone that she wouldn't mind being stuck to for the rest of her life, however long or short that may be.
"... How can I be sure about this? This is so... sudden. I don't wanna screw it up, y'know?" Neptune paused, as she allowed a thought that had been bothering her for quite a bit escape her lips. "What if I'm not good enough for her?"
IF smiled. Thattagirl.
"That's easy. You go and find her, and then you figure it out from there," IF pointed at the door and made motions for Neptune to leave. Hesitantly, nervously, Neptune got up. This was a pretty big thing that she was about to do after all! Couldn't she just play some games instead?
"Do I have to?" Neptune offered IF the most sheepish "mom I know I'm not sick but can I stay home from school anyway?" smile she could manage. It wasn't like she was on a time limit or anything!
"NOW!" Yelping, Neptune waved at Compa and made for the door. Her job finished, IF's smile dropped, and under her breath, whispered to herself: "And maybe someday you'll be able to forgive me for everything I've done and not done."
Neptune had already turned to go, and upon seeing that, IF closed her eyes and laid back down, preparing to fall back into a nice, peaceful sleep. The door closed, and IF let out a sigh. At least now she could relax, knowing Neptune would be in Noire's capable hands, since clearly hers could only do more harm than good...
The door opened again, but IF paid it no mind. Compa was probably heading out, now that IF was falling back to sleep.
"N-Nep-Nep!? What are you doing!? That's too much for you right now!" Compa's cry was enough to have IF sit back up-
-only for her to find herself face first in someone's... wait... were these...? Warm... Soft... Large, but not Compa sized...!
IF found herself buried in the chest of none other than the CPU of Planeptune herself, transformed in all her HDD glory. Neptune, now Purple Heart, wrapped her arms around IF and pulled her close, resting her head atop her friend's, and spoke quietly — transforming put a great strain on Neptune right now, but this, she knew, was worth much more than her own personal safety. The risk was more than worth it.
"I may not always show it, IF, but I have never once regretted knowing you. You are a precious, precious friend to me, and don't you ever think for a moment that you have betrayed me, or Nepgear, because feeling that way is in itself is the only way you could ever possibly do us wrong."
Slowly, with a gentle, compassionate expression on her face, Purple Heart gently lowered IF back down onto the bed. IF had no idea how to react to this — she was touched, for sure, but... But that didn't mean she could just let go of her guilt just like that, could it...?
Purple Heart placed a light kiss on IF's forehead and stepped away. Despite how weak she looked compared to her glory days, IF could tell — even if Purple Heart were to be struck right now and fall over and die, she would have no regrets.
For a moment, IF saw exactly what the truly loyal people of Planeptune did in their beloved goddess.
"... J-Jeez! How am I supposed to say anything to you when you're in that form?" IF's eyes were tearing up. Rubbing frantically at them, she pointed at the door, clearly flustered. "Hurry up and get out of here! And transform back before you run out of energy and you end up stuck in bed!"
Smiling, with just a hint of her old arrogance returning to her features, Purple Heart nodded.
"Don't you worry about me. I won't fall so easily."
With that, Purple Heart gracefully stepped out of the room, the door slamming shut after her. For a few moments, IF and Compa sat in silence — as if they were waiting to make sure Neptune wasn't going to come back in as herself and ruin the moment. A few moments more passed, and the two exchanged a look before, for no reason in particular, bursting into laughter.
Outside the door, Neptune — now in her normal form — stood up straight, after having had her ear pressed to the door, waiting to make sure the two in the room were okay, before heading off into the Basilicom's depths.
She had a Noire to find!