FINALLY, the chapter you've all been waiting for. Not to worry, this is not the end quite yet. And yes, Hotch is unapologetically romantic here. I have taken liberties with him (unfortunately not the way I would have preferred) and I totally admit it.
Thank you all SOOOOOOOO very much for your reviews to the last chapter. Again, my apologies for not being able to reply individually, I am updating so quickly at the moment. But I have loved hearing from you all!
I do not own the lyrics to 'Something Good'.
Hotch frowned as his brain prodded at him. Something was wrong. What was it? His eyes suddenly flashed open as his body jerked. Breathe. He couldn't breathe. Something was stopping him from breathing. He clawed at the thing at his mouth. Help me. Please, help me! His brain screamed.
"Aaron! Aaron, stop!"
Someone grabbed his wrists and he stared uncomprehendingly at the person in front of him, panic and narcotics clouding his mind.
"It's me, it's Emily. Calm down, it's all right. The doctor's coming. You have a tube helping you to breathe. Just relax. Look at me," she said softly. He obeyed, looking into the midnight dark eyes that were now as familiar as his own. "Just let it breathe for you. Relax."
He made a conscious effort to. He still felt like ripping out the tube himself, but at least he had now realised that he was breathing, although not by his own volition. Emily loosened her grip on his wrists and slowly placed them down by his sides. To his relief, she immediately took hold of his right hand, holding it tightly as the doctor came in, a nurse by his side.
"Aaron, it's good to see you awake," said the middle-aged man with the kind, grey eyes. "I'm Dr Bentley, the surgeon who operated on you. I know the tube must be bothering you, so let's take it out now, shall we?" Hotch felt him remove the tape that was holding the tube in place. "Okay, I'm going to take it out and I need you to cough right...now."
Hotch coughed weakly, gagging when he felt the tube slide out of his throat. Gasping for breath, he tightened his hold on Emily's hand before he realised what he had done and relaxed his grip.
"Aaron, just take slow, deep breaths. You lungs just need to get used to working on their own volition again. Don't panic, just breathe slowly. It will happen."
He forced himself to listen to the doctor, his eyes jerking right to look at Emily. She smiled softly at him. "Deep breath in...and out...and in...and out. That's it." Her calm voice and the warmth and concern on her face soothed him as nothing else could have.
"How's your pain?"
Hotch opened his mouth to answer, but nothing emerged except a wheezing sound. His throat was dry and sore. He felt Emily release his hand and a moment later a straw touch his lips.
"Here's some water.."
He took a sip, then two, wincing slightly at the pain as he swallowed. He watched Emily put the cup down. And then her hand was back in his. She smiled gently down at him and his breath caught. Was that love he could see in her eyes? Maybe the painkillers were causing him to hallucinate.
"Is the pain manageable?" asked Dr Bentley again as he looked at the chart.
"It's fine." Hotch could barely recognise the hoarse, scratchy voice as his own.
"All right. I'm going to make a note to have your medication reviewed in six hours." The doctor looked seriously at Hotch. "You were lucky to have survived the shooting, Aaron. There was a lot of damage that we repaired and you lost more than half the blood volume in your body. You need to be aware that it's going to be a long road to recovery."
When the surgeon finally left, Hotch was able to take a closer look at the woman by his side. Emily looked exhausted, lines of strain on either side of her mouth. Faint shadows lay under her eyes and her light blue maternity blouse was creased like she had slept in them.
"Are you all right?" he whispered. She had stayed with him. She had to care for him, hadn't she?
She pressed her lips together before replying, "I think I should be the one asking you that question."
The distress that shadowed her eyes made his heart ache. "I'll be fine. The baby, it's healthy?"
Emily nodded. "It's strong and healthy, growing well. Here." He stared at her in shock when she placed his hand on her swollen abdomen. "Hi sweetie, daddy's here. He wants to feel you move. How about a little kick for mom, hmm? Come on now, just a little kick."
Hotch inhaled sharply when he felt a slight movement under his palm. He couldn't believe that he had just felt their baby move for the first time. His eyes widened when he felt a foot or elbow press up into his hand. "Emily," he choked out in wonder, tears clogging his throat.
She smiled tremulously down at him. "It's a good little baby."
He wanted to talk about their baby more, but first he had to ask her a question that had been on the forefront of his mind ever since he had regained consciousness and seen her. "Emily." He moistened his lips. "I think I had a dream where you said you loved me." He looked searchingly into her eyes. "Was it a dream?" Please don't let it be a dream. Please tell me you love me.
Emily opened her mouth as tears filled her eyes. She took his hand from her stomach and enfolded it in both hands. "No," she said, shaking her head. "It wasn't a dream. I love you. I've loved for such a long time. Maybe even before we conceived this baby. You're all I've ever wanted. All I've ever dreamed of." Twin tears slid down her ivory cheeks. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you this before. I've been so scared. And when I almost lost you, I hated myself. For the sake of protecting myself, I hurt you. I'm so sorry."
Hotch let out a shuddering breath that he hadn't even been aware he had been holding. "Emily, sweetheart, please don't apologise. I've been wrong too. I didn't tell you the truth because I was afraid. I was afraid you didn't feel the same about me so I kept quiet and made the most monumentally stupid proposal ever made. I never meant to do it that way. Or that soon. It was just that I felt you slipping away and I had to do something. You didn't deserve that. You deserved dinner, and flowers and a romantic proposal with a ring by the beach under the moonlight. Instead you got a jackass behind his desk trying to make you see the practicalities of marrying him."
She bit her lip, the nervous gesture making warmth flood through his battered heart. "Aaron, I don't need dinner or flowers or a moonlit proposal with a ring. I just need to hear you...tell me how you feel." Her voice was softly tremulous.
"I love you, Emily Prentiss. With every cell of my body and every fiber of my being. I love you with everything I am. Please say you'll be my wife because...I'm," he swallowed, "...I'm lost without you. You know me. I'm not a fanciful guy. I'm not someone who has the right romantic lines for the every situation. All I know is that I need you. I need to be my wife and my companion, to be the mother of my children, to be there for me to lean on when times are tough and be there to laugh with me in times of joy. Just as I hope you'll let me carry you in my arms when you need me, and walk side by side with me when you're strong. I love you. I always will. Please marry me."
She looked at him with such love in her eyes that he could feel the light shining there illuminate him from within, banishing all the shadows in his soul. And then came the sweetest answer he had ever heard. "Yes."
Thank you, God. Emily bent down and touched her lips to his.
It felt like it was their first kiss. Perhaps it was in some ways. A kiss that wasn't merely a prelude to passion, it was unguarded, both of them finally allowing their feelings to be expressed through that intimate contact.
When their lips finally parted, Hotch smiled at his new fiancee. "If I'd known that getting shot would have made you say yes, I'd have done it a lot sooner."
She gave him a mock glare, making his smile widen. "You must have gotten shot in your funny bone, because that wasn't funny at all."
"Ouch, kick a man while he's down...why don't you." He was feeling tired now, the short burst of emotion draining him of energy.
He saw her eyes soften. "Go to sleep, darling. I'm going to be right here when you wake up."
"You should...rest...too." His eyelids were heavy.
"I'll be fine. Sleep now," she murmured. The last thing he felt before sleep claimed him was her thumb gently stroking his wrist.
The next time Hotch woke up it was mid-afternoon. He was blinking to clear the sleep in his eyes when heard a familiar voice.
"Aaron."
Hotch turned his head and looked at his friend. "Dave." His voice was still hoarse, but he didn't feel as much discomfort as before. Before he could say anything, a straw was at his lips and he took a few sips, the cool water soothing the dryness in his throat. "Thanks. Where's Emily?"
"We managed to persuade her to go home and rest. She'd been here for almost 24 hours. She was exhausted."
Hotch looked at the older man. "Did she only agree because you said you would stay?"
Dave gave him a rueful smile. "It was a good thing we didn't have to go to Plan C."
The Unit Chief lifted an eyebrow. "Which was?"
"Morgan picking her up bodily and taking her out of there."
"That I would have paid good money to see." Hotch's eyebrows drew together at the shadow that passed over the other man's face. "Dave?"
"That was close, Aaron. Too close." Dave's voice was quiet.
Hotch looked into the eyes of his closest friend. "I know." He could still feel the numbing coldness slowly claiming his body. But worse still had been the paralysing fear. Not for himself, never for himself, but for Jack and Emily. They were his family and yet he wasn't going to be able to protect them. He still remembered the regret he had felt at the thought that he would never see his unborn child. His anguish that he was not able to tell Emily he loved her. "I'm sorry for putting you all through that." That was the first time he had seen real fear in Dave's eyes.
The older man shook his head. "None of us even felt anything close to what Emily went through. Forgive me for meddling, but...I think you need to start thinking about your priorities. You've been given this second chance at life and a second chance to have another family. You need to take it."
Hotch nodded. "It sounds easy, doesn't it." He wasn't sure if it was that easy.
Dave looked intently at him. "It is. If you let it be."
"I appreciate what you're saying."
"Good. Now, on to another subject that's just as important but more decorative." Dave grinned at the confused look Hotch was now sporting. "I understand you're going to need some help picking out an engagement ring."
Hotch shook his head immediately. "Oh no, Dave. No way. You are not helping me choose an engagement ring. I'd rather use the money for a new car."
Dave burst out laughing. "Don't worry, Penelope's taught me how to use ebay. I'm sure we can find one within your budget there."
"Ouch, ahhh... Don't make me laugh, Dave. Please."
At that moment, a nurse bustled in. "Mr Hotchner, good afternoon. I need to check your vitals and also have a peek at your urine output. If it's looking well, we can think about removing your catheter."
Hotch glared at Dave, who wasn't bothering to hold back his laughter. His colleague's amusement brought about his own rueful smile. "I didn't think I had any dignity left to preserve lying here naked as the day I was born. Obviously I was wrong."
Dave stood up. "I'm going to give you some privacy. I know we're good friends, but if I stayed I'm not sure if I'd be able to look you in the eye again."
"Dave."
The older profiler turned back at the door.
"Thanks."
Dave smiled. "You're welcome."
"Daddy!" Jack yelled, running up to Hotch's bed. Emily came up, pulling the visitor's chair over so that Jack could stand on it, watching as the little boy slipped his arms around his father's shoulders and buried his face in his shoulder.
"Hey buddy," murmured Hotch, closing his eyes as he held his son tightly. Emily bit her lip at the sight of the emotion on his face. After a while Jack drew away and Hotch shifted a little to make space for the boy on his bed.
"Hi," said Hotch softly, looking up at her and giving her a gentle smile. He held his hand out and she took it. Emily sat down on the seat, returning his smile. He looked much better than he did this morning and there was only a slight residual huskiness to his voice, making it sound rather sexy. A thought she would have shared with him if Jack hadn't been there.
"Daddy, Emily said you got hurt when you were trying to catch some bad guys. Is that true?"
"That's right. But the doctors have fixed me up and I'm much better now. So I don't want you to worry, all right?"
"Okay. But did you catch the bad guys?" Jack demanded to know. Emily stifled a smile. Single minded, just like his someone else she knew.
Hotch grinned. "Well, I didn't, but Derek and Spencer did."
"Does it hurt a lot Dad? Emily says you're going to have to be in the hospital for ages." Jack look worriedly at his father.
"It hurts a little, but I promise I'm going to be fine. And yes, I will be here a while, but hopefully not too long. And you can come visit me every day."
"Emily said that she's going to come and stay with me while you're in hospital, Dad." Jack looked happy at the thought, and Emily reached down to ruffle his hair.
Hotch looked up at her, smiling. "She did? I don't know," he said teasingly. "I think you're going to be having way too much fun. I think it's better if you come stay with me in the hospital. You can sleep on the floor next to my bed and I can keep an eye on you that way."
"Nooooo, Dad!" Jack protested, face wreathed in smiles. "I wanna stay with Emily. She promised me we could have chocolate chip pancakes for dinner tonight."
"Jack!" Emily laughed helplessly. "Now we're going to get into trouble with Dad for not eating healthy food."
"Hey, I'm not that much of a spoilsport!" retorted Hotch. He tickled Jack's ribs, making the boy burst into giggles.
"Pancakes are like a gazillion times better that the tuna sandwich you tried to make me eat last week, Dad."
Emily raised an eyebrow. "You gave him a tuna sandwich for dinner?"
Hotch had the grace to look sheepish. "I didn't have anything in the pantry except tuna. I'd even run out of two-minute noodles."
"Wow, that's an all time low even for you," she said teasingly.
"For your information, I loved tuna when I was a kid." There was an offended look on his face.
"You must have been a really, really weird kid then, Dad," commented Jack, looking serious.
Hotch coughed, trying to disguise his laughter. "Okay, okay, time out. I'm already injured, there's no need to hurt my ego too."
"Hey little man."
The three of them looked up at the familiar voice to find Dave standing in the doorway.
"Uncle Dave!" Emily helped Jack down from the bed. He promptly ran to Dave who gave him a big hug.
"I saw something in the gift shop that I think your Dad's going to like, but I'm not sure. I need some advice. Think you can help?"
Emily smiled. Dave was obviously trying to give them a few minutes alone. She could just about hug him.
"Dad? Emily? Can I go with Uncle Dave?"
"Sure." Emily's reply was in unison with Hotch's. Their eyes met and they smiled at each other.
"Okay, see you soon!" Dave took Jack's hand and they left the room, their voices fading into the distance.
"You spoke to Jessica about Jack?" asked Hotch, eyes looking searchingly at her.
"I went over to your apartment this afternoon and we had a long chat."
"Oh? Everything okay?" He looked concerned and Emily gave him a reassuring smile. She took his hand and pressed a kiss to his knuckles.
"Everything's fine. I was worried at first about whether she was going to be able to accept my presence in Jack's life, but she said she was genuinely happy for us. She did admit that it was a little hard to see how much Jack loves me and that it saddened her that Haley wasn't around. So I reassured her that I never want to take Haley's place and that both you and I will always make sure that he remembered her."
Hotch was silent for a long moment. "What did I ever do to deserve you?" he said in a low tone, reaching up to cup her cheek.
Emily blinked away tears that had started to gather in her eyes. She had been thinking the same thing earlier today as she had lain down to sleep. She couldn't believe how incredibly fortunate she was that she had found this man when she had practically given up hope of any type of 'happy ending' in her life. She had done nothing to deserve the overwhelming happiness she was now experiencing.
But maybe she was wrong. Maybe she had done something just a little bit good. Just like that, the words of a song from one of her favourite movies came to mind. So she sang it to him in a soft voice.
Perhaps I had a wicked childhood
Perhaps I had a miserable youth
But somewhere in my wicked, miserable past
There must have been a moment of truth
For here you are, standing there, loving me
Whether or not you should
So somewhere in my youth, or childhood
I must have done something good
Her voice trailed off when she saw the faint sheen of tears in his eyes. "Come here," he said softly. Emily sat on his bed and bent towards him. His hand cupped the back of her head, drawing her down to him for a kiss that was lingeringly sweet. When their lips finally parted, Hotch looked at her, his mouth curled up in teasing grin. "If that's true, then I must have done something fucking amazing to get you."
She laughed. "You can be such a sweet talker," she teased.
"I didn't tell you I saw you that night when you were singing in that bar on Summers Avenue."
"You saw me singing in Harry's Bar?" she said incredulously, feeling a tide of warmth flood her cheeks.
"You were amazing. And so beautiful." The expression on his face was serious, his gaze intent on her. "I didn't realise it at the time, but I think that was the night I fell in love with you."
"Oh." Just like that, he took away her power of speech.
"Were you really bewitched, bothered and bewildered?" he murmured, stroking her cheek tenderly with his thumb.
"Completely and utterly. It was disgustingly pathetic." She gave him a rueful look as he chuckled. "I hated you then you know."
"You did?"
"I hated that you could compartmentalise so much better than me."
Hotch smiled wryly. "I did a piss poor job of compartmentalising. If I'd done it well, I won't have had to avoid you like I did."
Emily took his hand and nuzzled her cheek against it. "Why did you?"
"I wasn't sure that I could hide my feelings for you if I didn't," he said simply.
She tightened her hand on his. "So...we've been blind all this time?"
"Appears so." Hotch grimaced. "It explains why Dave constantly looked like he was on the verge of knocking some sense into me."
Emily chuckled. "With me it was JJ. She said that if we didn't work things out soon, she was going to handcuff us together and throw away the key until we see the light."
His eyebrows rose. "Kinky."
Emily laughed. "I know, right? So, not to be pushy or demanding, but I need you to get better fast, because we need to find a house for the four of us, and we only have two months left before the baby arrives."
"We can start looking online immediately if you like."
"Really?" She sobered, doubts creeping through her. "Aaron, we're not moving too fast are we?"
"Absolutely not." His tone was emphatic, chasing away her fears. "I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you and our children. As far as I'm concerned, we can't move fast enough."
She was so full of joy that in that moment, she couldn't even imagine that she would ever be unhappy again. "That's good, because I've kind of moved into your apartment."
His eyes darkened. "I wish I could be there with you."
"You will be soon." She pressed her lips together to stop them from trembling. "I've missed you so much."
"We'll never be apart again." His eyes were solemn. "I promise you this, Emily."
"I love you Aaron Hotchner," she said softly but strongly.
"I love you, Emily Prentiss."
As their lips met, she knew that this was but the beginning of a life she had only ever dared to imagine in her dreams.
The lyrics of the song is from 'The Sound of Music'. Next, Sean Hotchner and a baby shower.
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