Disclaimer: I own nothing Kingdom Hearts or Primal. The five OC's however, are mine. Mine I say!

AN: I haven't played KH2, so i don't know the details...so for the sake of my sanity let's pretend it doesn't exist okay? Oh, and for the ones who haven't figured t out yet, everything from Ch. 4 and beyond are in first person. The first three were kind of a flashback kind o thing. Just wanted to make it clear.

Chapter 14

"That is freaking awesome!"

John and I laugh at Nick's enthusiasm. I just finished describing each of my demon forms. While Nick was over the wall at the fact I could change form and the way they could talk to me, John had been interested in their strategic uses. Must be all those military games.

Ah, but then again, no one is more suited to sneak by enemies than I am. (Wraith)

Naturally you would want to sneak around like a serpent instead of fighting head on. (Ferai)

I am no snake you horned muscle head! I can hold my own in a fight. Make no doubt about that. But there are times when all you can do is save yourself. (Wraith)

A lowly creature, devoid of honor. How pathetic. A brave warrior would fight to the death, no matter the odds! (Ferai)

Bah! Honor my ass! What good is honor when you're dead! (Wraith)

Shut up! All of you have your uses and your own thoughts. So stop arguing!

"Girl, I am never going to get used to that." Nick remarks as he notes my blank expression. I snap out of my trance and swap him upside his head. "You try having four demons bicker and snipe inside YOUR head. Though, there's probably no room due to all the hot air."

"Hey," John pipes up, probably trying to avoid an argument. "What kind of things do they talk about?"

"Oh, they constantly spout off wise words of wisdom and offer the secrets of the universe. What do you think Johnny boy? The Wraith is self-centered and sadistic, always spouting off insults or sarcastic remarks, the Ferai are like those Klingons from that Star Trek show and almost always fighting with Wraith. The Undine are actually nice and do offer advice at times but mostly stays quiet. I think it's because of the Ferai and the Wraith"

"And the Djinn?"

"The Djinn just scares me. If it is anything like the ones in the game, the Djinn are sadistic, cruel, violent and have incredibly bad tempers. Like I said, scary."

Yuffie, who had stopped cleaning to eavesdrop, as had Cid and Aerith, jumps in, a curious look on her face. "If it's so evil, why did you transform into that form a when Ansem was here?"

Squall, who had also been watching us, storms up to Yuffie. "I don't think that's any of our business."

"I doubt it." Aerith says as she steps in to join the conversation. "Sam, when you saw Ansem, what did you feel? What was the strongest emotion you were feeing?"

What? Of all the things I expected to hear out of know-it-all Aerith, it definitely wasn't that. I hop to my feet and pace a bit. John and Nick also stand. "Well, I was as angry as hell. I also hated him. A lot. I know hate is a strong word and I don't use it very much. I have people I don't like but I rarely hate someone."

"But right then, when I saw him over John, I felt hatred. Cold hatred. I wanted to kill him, slowly and painfully." Then suddenly that telltale light bulb goes off in my head.

"Wait a moment, during that time, I felt…sadistic. I wanted to kill him, feel his blood on my hands. I was picturing different ways to kill him and I felt, pleasure while doing it." I spit out the word pleasure as if it was a disease. John and Nick stare at me in slight shock, as do Yuffie and Cid.

Aerith and Squall however seem to understand. My hands slightly shake at my realization. In the game the Djinn spirit is the very essence of evil. When Jen, the main character, first shifted to that form it overwhelmed her with it's evil. When I shifted to that form, I felt it. I felt the utter evil and cruelty of the Djinn. I shudder in revulsion.

Aerith steps forward and places a hand on my shoulder. "I'm thinking that certain emotions can trigger one or more of your demon forms. When you first experienced your Ferai form I'm guessing you felt a primal anger. Since the Ferai form is animalistic and primal from what I've seen such things like anger can evoke it."

John nods and steps next to her. "So, when she saw Ansem she felt hatred, sadistic hatred. Which made the Djinn form more powerful. At least, that's the theory right?"

"What are you thinking Johnny boy?" Nick asks. John's brow creases as he thinks. "Well, I've been friends with Sam for a long time, so no offense to you girl, but you are not the kind of person to hate someone that horribly. You're just not the sadistic type."

He smiles at me gently. I return the smile sadly and shake my head. "I'm not so sure. Don't forget John, my destructive phase? I sure as hell can't." John's smile falters slightly.

"What do you mean by your destructive phase?" Aerith asks.

I shift from foot to foot. "Well, see, a few months ago my father died in an accident. We were very close. In fact he gave me this bracelet. When he died I refused to go to a counselor. I became angry. I would lash out at anybody, even my own friends. I'd pick fights with people and get into heaps of trouble. I was almost arrested at one point. Luckily for me the guys were able to pull me out of that phase.

"It was David who started to help. I picked a fight with some really bad gang members and they would have torn me to shreds. Well, they did, but then David jumped in and, well, the both of us got torn to shreds. At least they didn't kill us. But that was only because for some odd reason they respect David enough not to kill the both of us."

John shakes his head. "You were going through a difficult time. That doesn't mean you're capable of sadism. No one's a saint; we've all got a little badass inside. At least you ever let it corrupt you and that's a good thing."

"But John, that little bit of darkness could spread. It might be that little, tiny bit that sways me to the dark side as Nick put it. Don't you get it? I know Ansem. He's a manipulative son of a bitch. And I don't give a flying fuck that it's the Dark One doing all the talk because you know what? I don't think that's completely true."

I open the book and stare at the Prophecy. "According to this I could become the very thing that tears us all apart. I'm the Soul, I keep us together."

Nick smiles and claps me on the back. "You know it girl. Don't ever doubt that."

I lightly shake him off. "I don't. I know I keep us together. Hell, sometimes it's the only thing that's kept me sane."

"You know, this whole thing scares me. Our home is gone, some crazy insane psychopath is hunting us, me especially, our friends are missing and could be anywhere, and all the fighting we have to do, it's too much and I'm scared." My voice cracks as tears start to form "I'm scared I'm not going to find David or Dwayne or they'll die, I'm scared you guys will die, I'm scared we'll fail and doom the universe, I'm scared that Ansem is going to get to me and do god knows what and I'll-I'll kill you guys or-" I suddenly start to sob. I can't help it. The reality of everything feels as if it's suddenly closing in around me, crushing me. I feel as f I'm barely able to breathe. I shake as sobs wrack my body and I sink to the floor, the book falling out of my hands.

I hug my arms around myself and continue to sob. By the two thumps and the two pairs of arms Nick ad John must've dropped to the floor to hug me. I bury my head into Nick's burly shoulder and wrap my arms around the two boys. With slight surprise I feel tears run down my neck and I hear two light sobs. We tighten our embrace, but it feels empty almost, incomplete, and I know why. David and Dwayne should be here. Only when we find them will our family be complete.

Will update ASAP. Bye!