Eh. Just an idea that came to my head in my computer class (which I'm still in at this moment...I'm going to fail. lol). Maybe I'd be more motivated to pay attention if I'd hurry up and get my decisions from these OTHER FREAKING COLLEGES...oh. But yeah, thanks to Goku's Daughter, child who is cool, and MizzC for the reviews! This one's just a little shortie I thought of, so nothing special. You know what IS special? THE BOONDOCKS SEASON THREE TRAILER THAT WAS LEAKED ON YOUTUBE. Hurry up and check it out before they take it down!!!! :D :D :D

Disclaimer: I do not own the Boondocks.

Names

"Huey."

"Huh."

"Huey."

"What?"

"Huey."

"Jazmine, what?"

Jazmine suddenly cut on the light, making him groan and roll over, tugging his pillow over his head. She sat up, drawing her knees to her chest.

"I got one." She grinned. "Andromeda."

Huey slowly sat up, turning over to give her a blank stare. She beamed at him. He scowled.

"What the hell kind of name is that?" Jazmine's smiled faded. "No. Hell no." He turned back over, replacing the pillow over his head. "If it is a girl the very last thing we are naming her is some damn Andromeda…this isn't Star Trek."

For the past few days Jazmine had been on a baby name kick. She'd bought a book full of them. She'd went on the internet and printed lists of them. It wasn't something that was unbearable so he usually went along with her constant babbling about it…but that was when it was actually daylight outside.

This…was just ridiculous.

"You said the same thing about Hayley!" Jazmine whined, crossing her arms over her chest. "And Lyra!"

"Why do you insist on suggesting all these white girl names?" He asked, his voice muffled. "In fact, why are you insisting anything at all at one in the morning?"

"I can't sleep." Jazmine pouted. She poked him. "Huey, come on! We have to think of names!"

"Jazmine." He sat up, sighing and giving her a look. "We have until June to do that. It's only January." When she continued to stare at him with a blank expression, obviously not paying the slightest bit of attention to his words, he sighed. "What's wrong with a nice African name?"

"An African name won't get them a job!" Jazmine complained. Huey threw up his hands.

"And a white name will get our black child laughed at in school!"

"They're going to be a quarter white, you know."

"Jazmine, get over it. They're black. You're black."

"I don't understand that." Jazmine scowled at him as he groaned again, rolling back over. "Seriously!" She glared. "I don't get how back in the era of reconstruction and Jim Crow laws, even dated back to when slavery was still full accepted through developing America, everyone abided by the "one-drop" rule, which stated that anyone who had a drop of African blood in them was considered black. Back then, people of color, even biracial and multiracial individuals, despised the term and wanted to be accepted for all their heritages instead of having to conform to one. Now, those laws are long gone, yet people still unknowingly abide to it, which means they're letting themselves be ruled by those same laws their ancestors once hated. By you refusing to acknowledge my multiracial status, you yourself are being held down by the negative mentality that the one-drop rule possessed. Doesn't that make you…I don't know…a hypocrite?"

Huey slowly sat up, giving her a long, blank stare. She stared back. He frowned.

"Shut up."

'Shut up' being code for 'I don't even know how to respond to that'.

"I'm just saying!" She threw up her hands. "It's not the point that people are choosing another race over their African heritage. They're simply acknowledging that there's other races that make them who they are. I don't see anything wrong with that."

"Uh huh, okay, sure." He gave her a look. "They're still getting an African name."

She gave him a dirty look. "Fine." He blinked in surprise. That hadn't been hard. "What do you have in mind?"

He sighed. "Can we talk about this when it's not the middle of the night?"

"But I want to talk about it nooooow!" She whined, lightly shaking him. "Please?"

He glared at her, sucking his teeth. "Whatever."

"Yay!" She clapped her hands together enthusiastically. He grimaced. Unlike herself he wasn't much of a late night person. "Alright, so what did you have in mind?"

He shot her a wary look before sighing once again and resting his chin in his hand. "Ajani. It's a boy name."

"No."

He shot her a dirty look. "What the hell is wrong with it?!"

"I don't like it."

"It's a good name!"

"What the heck is an Ajani?"

"It's a warrior name!" Huey practically sputtered. "It's Nigerian!"

"Well, we're in America."

"Way to be a conformist, Jazmine."

"Way to suggest a dumb name, Huey."

They glared at each other. He finally rolled his eyes.

"Dakarai."

Jazmine's nose wrinkled. Huey noticed it and scowled.

"What's wrong with that one?"

"It's so…" She stopped, shaking her head. "What does it even mean?"

"It's from Zimbabwe! It means happiness."

"Huey, you're not even a happy person. Why would you even name your child something that means the very emotion which you never are?" She paused. "And what's with all the boy names?!"

"Because hopefully," He mumbled. "We're having a boy."

Jazmine folded her arms over her chest, leaning back against the headboard. "Well, I want a girl."

"You would."

"What does that mean? You want a boy!" She gestured to him. "Of course you'd want a boy! You're a boy!"

"Alright alright! Damn!" Huey held up a hand, sitting up straighter. "Okay, a girl one." He thought for a moment. "Zahra."

Jazmine blinked, nodding slowly. "Well, that's actually not too-"

"Wait. Scratch that." He suddenly made a face. "Changed my mind."

"What? I actually like that one!" Jazmine frowned. "What's wrong with it?"

"It means flowering in Swahili." He shuddered noticeably. "Too many connotations with that one."

"Huey, no one would know unless they asked. And I doubt she'd go around saying "My name means flowering!" and I doubt anyone's going to hear her name, wonder what it means, and Google it." Jazmine rolled her eyes. "It's a nice name."

"I am not naming her something that means flowering!"

"Oh, my god. Seriously?" She giggled. "It is not that big a deal!"

"You say that now." Huey snorted. "But when she's thirteen and the boys find out what her name means and she starts blossoming-"

Jazmine burst out laughing. "Are you really getting paranoid about boys wanting anything to do with our "flowering" daughter who might not even be a girl and who hasn't even been born yet?"

"Yes!" Huey scowled. "Boys are crazy as hell."

"Um, you're a boy." Jazmine blinked. "You do know that, right?"

"Exactly!" He threw up his hands. "You don't know the way men think. I do." He shook his head. "It's not pretty."

Jazmine slowly leaned away from him, giving him a look. "Should I be afraid?"

"Yes." He snorted, leaning against the headboard as well. "If we do have a girl, which, if a god really does exist, won't happen-" Jazmine snorted as well. "Then she's not dating until she's twenty-five."

Jazmine laughed again, covering her mouth with her hands when he gave her a serious look. "Huey, what would you have done if my dad had said the same thing?"

"At one time he did say that."

"Well, he obviously didn't mean it since he let me date you!"

"Bet he wishes he'd done otherwise now." Huey shook his head. "Well, unlike the rest of those…idiots, I didn't have any ulterior motives."

"Of course not." Jazmine pat his shoulder, drawing her knees to her chest again and resting her chin on them. "Well…what about Zaire?"

"Ooh. Let's name our child after a country." Huey gave her a bored look. "How original."

She stuck her tongue out. "Adanna's an African one, right?"

He nodded, making a face. "Yeah, but it's Nigerian for "her daughter's father". Which is pretty stupid. I mean, isn't that a given? Would we really need to name her that to reaffirm that fact?"

"You're impossible." She glowered at him. He shrugged. "I mean, who cares what it means?"

He gave her an incredulous look. "Jazmine, the meaning of the name's the most important part! You're so apathetic!"

"And you're so cynical."

"Well, yeah! Duh!"

"Well, double duh for me!"

"Double duh? What does that even mean?"

"Why don't you figure it out since meanings are sooo important to you?"

They glared at each other again. Huey yawned, shaking his head.

"I don't have time for this." He flopped over. "Goodnight-"

"Huey, wait!" Jazmine nearly whined. He glanced over his shoulder towards her. She frowned.

"What about Freda?" When he blinked at her she threw up her hands. "It was my grandma's name!"

"Wait, I thought your grandmother's name was Ella?"

"No, you're thinking of my dad's mom. We hated her." She waved her hand. "Freda was my mom's mom."

"Jazmine…okay, look." Huey pinched the bridge of his nose, shaking his head again. "How about…we make a bet."

Jazmine stared at him as if trying to determine if he was serious. After a good thirty seconds she started laughing, clutching the blankets to her chest. Huey gave her a look.

"What?"

"You." She wiped a tear from the corner of her eye. "Huey, you want to bet me?"

He shrugged. "Well…yeah." His eyes narrowed. "And that's a problem because…"

"Because you always lose. Always." She giggled. "You're the worst better ever. I don't think you've ever won one."

"I have! That…one time." He folded his arms over his chest. "That's not the point. The point is-"

"That you're gonna lose?" She stuck out her tongue. He lightly pushed her shoulder, rolling his eyes.

"If we have a boy, I get to name him. But-" He added when her green eyes widened and she opened her mouth to protest. "If it's a girl, you get to name her."

She pressed her lips together, thinking. After a few seconds she snapped her fingers.

"Okay." He sighed, satisfied. "But whoever loses gets to chose the middle name. That way everyone wins!"

"Yeah…except for the part where they lose."

"Shut up. Party pooper."

"Whatever." He punched his pillow, lying back down as Jazmine cut off the light and did the same. He yawned. "Well, at least the last name's going to be easy."

"Uh huh," Jazmine yawned as well, tugging the covers over her head and turning onto her side so that she was facing the opposite direction of him. "Thank god. After all-"

"It's gonna be-"

"Dubois-"

"Freeman."

There was a long, drawn out pause that filled the darkness. It was dangerously quiet, especially since their next door neighbors, a constantly fighting couple that were forever throwing things at each other, seemed to be out.

That, or they'd finally killed each other.

Jazmine bolted up, clicking on the light as Huey sat up as well. Their eyes narrowed as they glared at each other.

"…what?" They growled in unison. Huey shook his head, holding up a hand.

"Okay, for a second I thought you said their last name was going to be Dubois?"

"Yeah." Jazmine's glare intensified. "And it's really funny, because I'm pretty sure you said it was going to be Freeman."

"Yeah, because I did."

"Well, you're kinda sorta wrong."

His eyes widened, then narrowed again. "And what's wrong with my last name?"

"Um, I don't know!" Jazmine threw up her hands. "You're not going to be the one pushing out a human being!"

"Well, I helped create said human being!" He snapped. "So don't I get a say in this?"

"No!" Jazmine yelled, her fists clenched. "I'm the mother, Dubois is my last name, the baby's coming out of me, and so it's going to get my last name!"

"Bullshit!" he shot back. "I think I should have some type of say in this! I'm the father!"

"Yeah, well it's either 'Dubois' or 'Freeman' and it's definitely not the second choice, so what does that leave?"

"And may I ask why Freeman isn't an option?" He asked coolly. She shrugged.

"Because we're not married," She drew out, making him blink. "And in the case a child is born to unwed parents, the mother gets sole custody." She made a face. "You mean to tell me you of all people didn't know that?"

"Yeah, I did," He shot back. "But don't try to bullshit me, because that doesn't apply to every state. And the state of Illinois says that both parents have equal relationships, including support obligation. I'm a law student, Jazmine! I know these things!"

"Well, what about Maryland?"

He rolled his eyes. "Yes. In Maryland you'd technically have sole custody until I established paternity…why are we even talking about this anyway? I thought we were discussing names, not having a custody battle!"

"We're not!" She argued, giving him a dirty look. "I just don't think it's fair that I'm expected to give the child I'm carrying around for nine months your last name because it's "socially acceptable"." She made quotes with her fingers, rolling her eyes. "What's wrong with my last name?"

"What's wrong with your last name," Huey replied matter-of-factly, "is that people are going to see it and go, "Oh! Well, I guess that no-good father's not around!"-"

"So what?"

"So?" He ogled at her. "So maybe I just want it to have my last name, okay?"

"Well, I want it to have mine!" Jazmine massaged her temples. "Well…what about hyphenating?"

He snorted. "Really?"

"Yes, really!" She groaned. "What's wrong with hyphenating?"

"It's stupid, that's what's wrong with it!"

"Oh, of course it's stupid. Since, you know, it shows a woman actually wants to keep her identity known-"

"Well, it's not your identity! It's the child's!"

"Well, her having my last name would be like a connection!"

"Oh, so you can have the connection." He sucked his teeth. "That's nice."

"Why are you getting worked up about this anyway?" Jazmine shrugged. "Why does it matter so much to you?"

"Why does it matter to you?"

"Because, Huey." She sighed, tired. "I'm the one who the baby is coming out of. When you give birth, then by all means. Give it your last name."

He glared at her. She glared back. Behind their heads there was a sudden crash.

"I hate you! You stupid bastard!"

"Call me one more name so I can-"

"What? You gon hit me? Nigga, you gon hit me? Do somethin' then, nigga! Do- OW!" There was a pause from the other side of the wall, followed by a small sob. "You hit me!"

"You told me to!"

"Bitch-" Crash. A bottle hit the wall behind their heads and Jazmine cringed, sighing.

"That was nice while it lasted…"

"Forget them." Huey's eyes bore into hers. "Jazmine, come on."

"You come on!" She folded her arms over her chest, shaking her head. "You wanna make a bet on the last name, too?"

"No!" He shouted. "I want to know why my last name's not good enough!"

"Not good enough?" She gave him a look. "There's nothing wrong with it."

"Well, you're sure acting like it." He had a sour expression on his face. Jazmine's eyes narrowed as she gave him a surprised look.

"Are you…really that upset about it?"

"I'm not upset." His voice was cool. He rolled his eyes, flopping over. "This is stupid. I'm going to sleep."

Jazmine stared at his back for a few seconds before shaking her head and reaching over to cut off the light again. She rested her back against the headboard, staring down at his dark form. She sighed.

"I'll…consider it." She pretended not to notice the way his back tensed. "Okay?" When he didn't say anything she sighed again, running a hand through her hair. "It's just…I could see if we were married or something, because it would kind of concrete things better. But we're not. And things happen, and…you might not always want to be around to claim the last name. Then what am I gonna look like? What is it going to look like?" She snorted, staring straight ahead. "A mother and her child with completely different last names for no given reason. So, it's not you." She shrugged.

"Throw another goddamn bottle at my head! That's why yo stroke ain't worth nothin' no way!"

"You won't sayin that last night, was you?"

"I was fakin, nigga!"

"Aye!" Huey sat up, banging the wall with his fist. "Shut up!" He sighed, rolling his eyes. That usually bought them a good oh, five seconds of silence. Sure enough…

"…Nigga, what?"

"Jazmine." He glanced at her, sighing again. If there was a contest for most sighs uttered in a specific amount of time he would win, hands down. "That's kind of the point of me claiming the last name. It's not me saying "I'm superior so get your ass in the kitchen" or anything like that. It's me acknowledging that I'm going to be there and that I want to be." He rubbed his eyes, trying not to yawn. She stared back at him, swallowing heavily.

"R-really?"

"Yes." He rolled his eyes. "I feel like a broken record sometimes…oh, no." He grimaced as he eyes filled with tears. "Not now-"

Jazmine let out a wail, throwing her arms around his neck and nearly knocking the wind out of him as she drew him into a tight hug. "You're s-so…sweet-"

There she went with that word again. How many times would he have to remind her that sweet and Huey did not belong in the same category?! He pat her back, resisting the urge to gag.

"Um…right." He took a deep breath as she let him go, relieved. Since when was she so strong? "So? Does it get my last name?"

She regarded him with a wary look before shrugging, turning over onto her side.

"I'll think about it." She yawned. "We'll…see."

He'd be more concerned about it if she wasn't the type to usually bend first. It wasn't nice to take advantage of people's weaknesses, but he couldn't help it if she was the passive one. He flopped down as well, once again putting his pillow over his head to block out the steady yelling coming from next door. After a few seconds he felt Jazmine's arms wrap around him, her head resting on his chest.

"Jacob." He froze. "You know, like the cute guy in Twilight."

Huey lifted the pillow off of his head. "I will kill myself."

"Fine." She closed her eyes. He did the same, his arm encircling her waist.

"Ya'll niggas wack!" A sudden shout came through the wall. Huey's eyes popped open. Jazmine lifted her head to look at him.

"You know," He said. "We should really argue less about the names and argue more about the possibility of moving."

"No arguments there." She closed her eyes. "Yes. Definitely."

Well. At least there was one thing they could agree on.

Don't know how they think they're gonna move anywhere. Broke selves.
...Just saying. :P

I hate Twilight with a burning passion. I'd love to do a Twilight/Boondocks crossover just so the Boondocks crew could OWN those sparkly douchebags but I'm pretty sure I'd gag to death first.

I actually looked up the custody laws for this, so this stuff's pretty legit. Well, I hope it is. Yeah, I hope you enjoyed the not-so-funny-but-I-had-fun-writing-it-so-WHATEVER chapter! (Ignore me. It's early)

-Kelsey