The bright lights hurt my eyes when I opened them so I had to squint at the harsh light. I didn't know where I am at first, but once I recognized where I am, I realize I'm at the hospital. I just gave birth to my premature son, Ravi, who's now in the incubator at the NICU.

His life is on the line and it's all up to him.

As much as I don't want this pregnancy, I don't want Ravi to die. We went through so much. He deserves to live.

The doctors took care of me so I had to stay on the bed for a couple of days until I'll get released and have been allowed to see my son.

My friends and family knew what happened to me and Ravi. They were worried about me, but I'm fine. All I care about was my son and that I desperately needed to see him. I only got a chance to hold him for a couple of seconds. Not even a whole five minutes until he got taken away from me.

Raj and I got our visit to see our son being together for the first time. We entered the room and it was hard to watch Ravi seeing him in there like that. The two of us were in blue hospital gowns.

"Look at him! He's so cute..." I said in admiration.

Ravi's body was so tiny. Just so little and so...helpless. He's still fighting as he's being treated to get back to normal health. I couldn't stand to watch him like this. I expected to have him and bring him with me. Not something like this. He doesn't deserve it. He's only a baby after all.

"I went to the Hindu Temple," Raj told me. "Just being there because of this makes me feel comforted and have peace. That everything is going to be okay with him."

"I hope so," My eyes only stared down at my son. "I guess I did feel stressed out a lot in this pregnancy. I don't want anything bad happen to him. Ravi doesn't deserve this."

Suddenly, I felt Raj's hand grasp my own and gave it an assuring squeeze and his thumb rubbed over the back of my hand in soothing circular motions. I don't want him to touch me, but in a moment like this, I don't really mind.

"We'll visit him every day." Raj vowed.

"The hospital is like an hour away." I said.

"Then we'll make time. An hour isn't very long."

"Okay." I gave in.

Every day I can see him until he's released from the hospital.

"How do you think we're going to afford to pay off the hospital bills?" I worried.

"I don't know," Raj answered. "A part of me wants to ask my parents, but I can't do that."

"Especially when they had cut you off." I mentioned.

"Yeah, and do you realize how pathetic that would be? I'll think of something. Don't worry about it." Raj said and I won't. I just want Ravi to get better.

"The doctor said that if we'll talk to Ravi, it'll make him feel better and he'll know his parents' voices," Raj said. "He told me that when I watched over him while you were still sleeping."

"Really? You think that'll help?" I asked and I was hopeful.

"Yeah," Raj said and looked at his son and starts to speak to him with a smile. "Hello, Ravi. I am your Daddy. You are quite the surprise in mine and your mother's lives."

"A huge surprise." I added.

"But no matter what, we're always going to love you," Raj looked at me. "Right?"

"Always," I confirmed.

"You're going to have the best parents and aunts and uncles," He continued and his voice was full of emotion. "All of us are going to take care of you. Please get better, okay?"

I guess, this time is my turn to say something to Ravi. I didn't know what to say at first, but just by looking at him...I have to tell him something.

"Um...hi, sweetie. This is your Mommy," I said to him lovingly. "I just really want you to get better and healthier, okay? I know you were a surprise to us and I never wanted you, but right now, I want you more than ever."

My eyes were full of tears as I had finished speaking to him. I wiped them away. Raj and I still stayed with Ravi for quite some time until they told us to leave.

Raj said he got a text from Howard and said that our friends were all there. Only Derek stayed at the fort with Heather. The moment I entered into the waiting room, I was showered with hugs from Amy and Bernadette. Mostly, everyone knew what was going on by now.

"How is Ravi?" Howard asked with concern.

"He's..." I don't know how to describe it.

"Hanging in there." Raj filled in helpfully.

"Do you want anything?" Bernadette offered. "It's around lunchtime. Have you eaten anything?"

"I'm not hungry." I shook my head.

"You look exhausted." Amy observed.

"I feel totally exhausted," I said and I slumped down on a chair. Amy immediately sat right next to me. "I didn't want the birth to go like this..." I sighed sadly feeling nothing but disappointment and grief.

"When can all of us visit Ravi?" Leonard asked.

"You can soon," Raj answered. "They're just checking up on him right now."

"I don't know if this is any of comfort, but my mother said that she's praying for Ravi and his soul." Sheldon said and rolled his eyes. I know him and his Mom don't see eye to eye on religion and faith.

"That's very much appreciated, Sheldon," I said. "Tell your mother thanks."

He nodded. "Will do."

"What is it that Ravi has?" Alex asked curiously.

"Respiratory distres syndrome," Raj answered and explained what it was.

"Poor little guy..." Bernadette frowned.

"I know. It's awful what he has to go through..." I hate it.

Later on, Raj and I were told it's okay to visit Ravi again and have guests over. They only wanted to have family in there, but we insisted they were like family to us. The only one who didn't want to go in was Sheldon because of how he hates hospitals. So, Leonard and Alex stayed with him and only Howard, Amy, and Bernadette went in with us.

Being in our hospistal gowns, the five of us watched over Ravi. It did make me feel better to know my friends were here with me.

"He's so..." Bernadette could barely say the words.

"Small." Howard completed her sentence.

"And underweight," Raj added. "He's only two pounds."

"Oh, my..." Amy gasped.

"He needs to get to four."

"This is another reason why I don't want kids, Howard," I heard Bernadette tell her fiancé. "This could happen to us..."

Howard was looking at her and said seriously, but gentleness was laced within his voice. "You don't know that for sure, Bernie."

I don't like that I even gave more reasons for Bernadette to fear motherhood and pregnancy. But Howard is right though. Every pregnancy for a woman is different.

"I think he looks like Penny." Amy was studying his face.

"You're just saying that..." I'm not sure if I'm convinced to see the resemblance.

"No, I'm serious. Ravi has Penny's nose and ears and chin...What color of eyes did he have?"

"Blue, but that's typical for babies," Raj replied. "They'll change into their natural color as they grow older."

"There's a bit of Raj in there, too." Howard also pointed out.

"I think he looks just like the perfect combination of both his parents." Bernadette smiled.

"I agree." I said.

"Me too." Raj also said.

Howard started to smile and said with amusement. "I can teach Ravi how to do magic tricks and pick up women," I gave him a look with a raised eyebrow. "When he gets older, of course."

"Like you've done such a great job as picking up women yourself." Bernadette remarked with a teasing smile.

"I picked you as my wife, didn't I?" He grinned.

There was a half of smile on Bernadette's face. "Yeah, you did."

"How does it feel that you gave birth to him?" Amy asked me.

"It felt like I pushed a bowling ball out of my vagina," I answered. "I wish Ravi could have stayed in there for more time until his due date."

"Maybe this happened for a reason?" Raj guessed.

"What reason is that?" I demanded. "Was this a sign for us to not have Ravi?"

"No, but...maybe...to have us all get even closer in this group. He pulled us together and helped us in many ways."

I think Raj is right on this one.

After Howard, Bernadette, Sheldon, and Amy left around three in the evening, only Leonard and Alex stayed. Surprisingly, Leonard still wanted to see my son. Alex felt like she wasn't ready to see him yet so Leonard went alone. I told him I'll catch up with him.

"I do hope your baby gets better, Penny," Alex said to me while we're alone in the waiting room together. I don't know where Raj went. I heard he went outside to clear his head and get fresh air. "Leonard was extremely worried about you last night."

"He was?" I felt touched by that.

"Yeah. He knew it wasn't normal for you to give birth right now. He had a hard time going to sleep."

"Well, we're all trying to get through this." I told her.

Alex smiled and nodded.

First, I went to the bathroom and to where Leonard was with Ravi. I opened the door and I quietly entered while I hear Leonard speaking to the baby.

"Hey, there, Ravi. I'm Leonard. I know you don't know me. Just pull through this, okay? I know it would mean a lot to your Mom and Dad. There was a time when I wish you weren't going to be born, but you don't deserve that. You didn't really ask to be here. I definitely didn't want any of this to happen no matter how much I didn't like you and I'm sorry. You know what? I do wish you were my child and not Raj's. I have to tell a secret that's between you and me...I still love your mother. We didn't work out and she got with your Dad so that's how you happened. Your mother is the best thing that ever happened to me and I only wished she could've loved me back. But I think she loves you more than anything and anyone else at the moment and I'm fine with that," Then he chuckled. "I guess I'll have to be."

"Even though you're not mine, I still love you because you're a part of your mother. And you look like her. What I'm trying to say is...you're special to me and I love you and your mother."

Leonard stared at my son thoughtfully for a brief moment and turned around. Once he did, he saw me and had a shocked expression.

"How-how long were you standing there?" Leonard asked me as if I appeared out of nowhere.

"Just enough to hear what you were saying to my son." I answered with a smirk.

His eyes widen and he got horrified. "Y-you heard everything?"

"Everything," I nodded. I approached to him closer. "You...you still love me?"

"Yes." He confessed.

"What about Alex?"

"I don't know. I mean, I still love her too, but not in the same way I feel about you. I think with Alex I was still trying to move on from you because of the baby, but it didn't work. In a way, it did..."

Hearing what Leonard was saying to my son and about his real feelings with Alex, it made me want to say it.

"I still love you, too." This time it came out from me personally and not from Raj.

I feel my head leaning towards his and I heard him say my name as if to warn me. "Penny..."

"Don't. I need this right now."

We kissed each other.