Chapter 14

After Catherine left LA Jackie knew she'd have to find something to do to fill her time. Otherwise, their tearful departure from each other would continue to play over and over in her mind, driving her crazy. The time they spent together was so wonderful and passionate that Jackie had a hard time letting Catherine go.

So she continued dutifully to investigate her next pending project with ShadowBox studios. ShadowBox was an up and coming production company that just landed a enormous amount of money to produce a film based on a best-selling young adult novel. Jackie had never read it, but apparently it was a fantasy-adventure that teemed with warriors, witches, and warlocks. The next Harry Potter or Lord of the Rings, maybe.

Although she wasn't sold on the plot, she knew that the role would further advance her career. Not to mention the cool outfits that she would get to wear. She knew she was already a shoe-in for the roll – in fact, she had the sense that they were begging for her to join the all-star cast. Because when she found herself sitting in a plush chair, in the producer's boardroom, she found it was not like an audition at all.

"This movie will be the blockbuster of the summer! A masterpiece! I can see it cleaning up at the Academy Awards too!" The enthusiastic productions coordinator exclaimed, waving his hands over his head. The length of his mustache was almost comical. Sitting bedside him, on either side, was the casting director and assistant director. Jackie thought it was rude for the director not to show up, instead to just send his assistant.

"Can you image being apart of this magic, Jackie? You'll never get another opportunity to do something like this!"

Somehow she doubted that. Sweat was dripping down his exuberant face. He exhaled a long-winded breath and casually pushed some papers over to her side of the table.

"This is what were are prepared to offer you. Obviously this will be a long project, taking at least 14 months of commitment. We need to do on-set filming, green screen work, and audio work in our studio we're building. This project is a labor of love. Think of the satisfaction you'll get once it's all done!"

Jackie leaned over and looked at the amount. It was high. In fact, it was the highest offer she had ever received in her career thus far. It was very tempting, and she tried to not let it show.

"Do you have the final draft of the script yet? Noticed that my character underwent some troubling changes between the first and second draft." She asked casually.

"Er, yes, you mentioned that before. I saw the notes. I assure you there will be not much more change in your character, Jackie. The final draft is being held until the cast list is set in stone." He wiped his forehead and placed both palms on the table. "But I assure you, once again, that ShadowBox will give you everything you need to comfortably learn and play your roll. The studio in Christchurch will basically be like a five-star resort for all of you."

Jackie considered his answer, furrowing her brow. "Christchurch? Where's that? I though we were filming in Oregon?"

"Oh no, that was changed," he said matter-of-factly. "Oregon is too expensive for what we need. Not to mention the by-laws that prevent us from doing what we need to do. New Zealand is the best choice, and it has been historically for films like this."

"New Zealand?" Jackie spat out. Her surprise was not something she could conceal.

"Well of course. Think about Lord of the Rings, or hell, even Xena Warrior Princess! New Zealand is so beautiful that it'll up the production value while not even turning a penny. Have you ever been there before?"

"Well no, because it's like a fourteen hour flight, isn't it?"

"Twelve, sometimes shorter," he corrected her. As if it made a difference. "And with this sum we are offering you, you could easily afford your own private jet currier…"

He blabbed on for a bit, but Jackie had already tuned him out. She leaned back in her chair, defeated. Fourteen months? In New Zealand? It was so far away from home.

Catherine rose to her thoughts immediately. What would Catherine think? Would she come and visit her in New Zealand? Was their budding relationship even that strong, after everything that's had happened between them in the past?

She looked at the unsigned contract sitting in front of her. She needed to think about this. She needed to talk to someone else about it.

"So Jackie, can you see now why this is the opportunity of a lifetime for you? What do you say? Will you take the plunge with ShadowBox?" He smiled and held his hands out, palms facing up. When she didn't respond right away, his face visibly fell.

She stood abruptly, then was surprised when the three men followed suit, chair squeaking against the floor. They were trying to be polite.

"Er… I need to think about this still. I need… to consider this change," Jackie swallowed hard and tried her best to smile. "Thank you all for inviting me today, it's been a real… eye opener."

"But – is there anything I can do? For you?" He pushed the paper towards her again.

"No. Just give me some time. Thank you." She turned on her heal and left the office, embarrassed that she'd been to cowardly to shake everyone's hands.

Maria was by her side immediately when she whisked out of the door and into the hallway. Maria wanted to be in there with her, but the productions coordinator insisted that they just speak to Jackie. Now Maria looked confused, pushing long strands of brown hair out of her face as she rushed to keep up with Jackie.

"Honey, what happened?"

Jackie kept her pace, heading out the back door to the parking lot. She hadn't had the conversation with her about Catherine yet. But she knew it was about to happen. When they stepped out onto the concrete, sun hitting their faces and blinding them, Jackie stopped and huffed loudly.

"Maria, they want to film it in New Zealand."

"What? Not Oregon?" She fished into her purse and pulled out a pair of large sunglasses.

"No. So I don't know what to do now. It looks like an interesting project but it's so far away you know?"

Maria sighed, exasperated. Jackie knew that Maria really wanted her to join the cast; it would do them both a lot of good financially.

"Jacqueline you are so young though. Young and free! It's going to take about fourteen months or so, and then you'll be back home in California. Usted es tan joven! Think about what this role could do for you."

Jackie bit her lip, thinking. Maria raised an eyebrow over her glasses.

"What's wrong honey? There is clearly something else on your mind. Maria can tell."

She put a palm on her forehead, rubbing her temples. "Yeah, there is. I guess there is."

"It's about that Stark woman, isn't it?"

Of course Maria knew. She was the one who had to answer to the press, after all. While Jackie had secluded herself away. She felt guilty immediately and ashamed for not being there to help.

"Yeah, it is. And I'm sorry for not being around for all that. I know we haven't really talked about it."

"You haven't been around at all, missy. You disappeared." She eyed her, crossing her arms. "You know, I really wanted to smack you when you didn't return all my calls. But then I realized it must have been really serious for you. You've never acted like this before."

"I know. I felt screwed up. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize anymore. Just answer this: what is going on with you and her?"

As with Gavin, it was hard formulating words when breaching this subject. Maria waited patiently for her answer.

"I – I'm seeing her. Again."

"'Seeing her?' Like how lesbians would?"

Jackie cringed at the word. She knew Maria was an upfront person and wasn't afraid to ask what was on her mind. Unlike Gavin, however, she didn't feel as comfortable discussing this. It might have had something to do with the blistering heat and the sun that hurt her eyes.

"Yes."

"So the rumors are true. You've seen this woman before, too."

"Yes."

"But you were just a child when you were in Bloomington! And she – a professor!"

"I know. But I've always been mature for my age, you know that."

"Yes, but still!" Maria took a moment to de-escalate herself: she was getting worked up. "It's just that I don't know what's more surprising: you being with a woman or you being with someone who's much older than you. It's all just a lot to take in."

"I know it is. I – I just really need your support in all this, Maria. I really like her. Catherine – I want to be with her. And I almost did, five years ago, but I chose my acting career over her."

"But you were just a child five years ago! You wouldn't be ready for any of that anyways!"

"I wasn't just a child though. What happened between us was very real, and I was the one who initiated it. It was my fault. That doesn't matter anyways. What matters is what's going on right now."

Maria looked at her for a long moment. Jackie honestly had no idea what she was going to say. She didn't seem to be taking this as well as she hoped.

"Okay. But answer one more question for me."

"Okay. Go ahead."

"Does she treat you right, Jackie? ¿Ella te ama?" Her voice had softened.

Jackie smiled, and Maria leaned over and put her hand affectionately on Jackie's arm.

"Yes."

She sighed again and removed her hand. "Then you must ask yourself: will she love you enough to let you play this role?"

Jackie bit her lip, thinking. "I don't know."

"And ask yourself this: do you really want to stay in America for this woman, or do you want to leave to play the role of a lifetime?"

"Don't be over dramatic. There will be other roles that come up for me."

Maria smirked. "Maybe. Maybe not."

Jackie was silent. Maria had been in this industry long enough to know the good and bad things that could happen to a professional actor. It would be foolish of her to challenge Maria considering her lack of experience. She respected the woman, after all. Jackie shifted her weight awkwardly from one foot to the next.

"Do me a favor then then?" Maria asked. Jackie nodded back, urging her on. "Think about this whole thing. I'll contact ShadowBox and say you were feeling ill and couldn't make a decision today. It was wrong of them to put pressure on you like that anyways."

"Thanks Maria. For everything."

"Don't thank me yet. We'll see what the production team says first."

Jackie chuckled. "I'm sure everything will work out."

They said their goodbyes and Jackie trudged through the heat towards her convertible. During her walk (which seemed to take forever), she considered what Maria had asked. Although Jackie knew she was willing to forgo this opportunity to stay in California, alternatively, would Catherine stop loving her if she decided to go to New Zealand after all? Did a weird double standard exist within their budding relationship? She needed more time to think about this.