**Ch 13 Unspeakable Truths**
**Edward's POV**
"Well that was interesting to say the least, but I did try to warn you about trying her bro." Emmett said. "How did you know about that anyways?" Rose asked. "Well remember when we made the bet and I left early…" Carlisle cut him off. "Emmett we'll talk about this later okay." "What it's not like I was going to tell them about…" Em started. "Emmett enough!" Carlisle interrupted him again. What is he talking about? When I took a peek in his mind it was blank. Huh, how odd. I walked over to sit at my piano-less piano bench where Alice was sweeping up the ashes. "Can somebody please explain what you guess are talking about?" she said going to sit back with Jasper. "No, anyways like I said before I was rudely interrupted by daddy-o over there. I left early that day because I was supposed to be meeting up with Bella. Since you guys made me late; I hopped over the fence and was surrounded by a fire cylinder thingy. If I was still able to I would have had a fucking heart attack and pissed myself right there, but it was nothing like you piano fire this actually looked the way fire was suppose too. Before you start freaking out nothing happened to me as you can see, but I can't say the same for Bella. She actually did almost have a heart attack when she saw me in the tube." He told everybody.
"Why didn't you tell anybody?" Esme said with motherly concern. "Because I wasn't hurt and I didn't want to make something out of nothing. Besides I didn't want her to get into trouble for something that was my fault in the first place. Now how about we get back to the matter at hand, Edward." Emmett said but added some more as an afterthought. "And to let you know if you don't fix this with her I will personally kill you, after I pile all your music, book, and anything else you hold of value in your cars and set them bitches on fire. Do you understand me?" I lost it. "What is there to fix?! She absolutely loathes me now and to top it all off, I don't even think she read my letter yet." I finished in defeat. "You sound absolutely pathetic Edward. Where is all of that gentlemen stuff they taught you growing
up, huh? Look this is how I see it, you fucked up and now you have to fix it. You was obviously not paying attention to what just transpired here where you?" Rosalie commented. "What are you talking about Rose?" I asked confused, and from the look of it I'm not the only one either. Rosalie jumps out of her seat. "You have got to be kidding me! Bella doesn't loathe you, you idiot. She likes you, for what reason I have no idea. You need to read between the lines, because if someone told me that I wasn't welcomed here anymore and that we aren't friends anymore I would have been pissed beyond means. Then when I start to leave and that said person stops me from leaving by shoving me against the door and kissing me the way you did and I didn't knee him in the balls; then obviously she must feel the same way about you." "But she still left remember." I added in my defense. "Rose is right Edward. Bella doesn't hate you. She left because you asked her to leave, and she didn't want to stay and cause more problems than she already did." Alice replied.
"Ugh! I can't do this! I don't understand girls. You know what scratch that I don't understand Bella. She is the most insufferable woman I have ever come across. She continually brings out the worst in me, but she also brings out the unknown. How am I ever going to get her to like let alone fall for someone like me? I hate the fact that I can't read her mind but I also like that about her. She always does the opposite of what I am expecting her to do. When I think I got her figured out she does a complete 180 and I'm back where I started and that's completely lost and furious. I'm telling you she does stuff to piss me off on purpose just to get a stir out of me. Like earlier, I never planned to kiss her. I was just so pissed that she ruined my piano and I wasn't thinking when I told her to leave and don't come back. I guess mind was trying to work that out while my body was already in motion because the next thing I know we are in the door way kissing. Ugh! How can one girl be such a problem?! Let me remind you Rose that she did kick me in the groin just not after I kissed her and if she didn't despise me then why would she yell about trusting me and all the rest of that crap. I don't get it, is GOD punishing me for all my sins or does he have a twisted since of humor. Why her? Can someone answer that question? Why couldn't I have been attracted to Rosalie or Tanya? No it has to be her. Her with eyes that out shine even the brightest stars and a beauty that nobody can compare or even come close too. I swear she is going to be the death of me. I'm telling you she gets a kick out of picking fights with me, I'm shocked that her father hasn't came over and threatened to kill me or too stay away from his daughter after everything that went down with us since we first met." I finished rambling.
"I believe it is my turn to talk I guess. I know that all of this is new for you son, but you just need to follow your instincts and I'm not talking about your vampire ones." Carlisle started but I interrupted. "See that's the problem. These instinct I have are foreign to me and I don't understand them enough to follow them, and the one I do understand are um…not appropriate outside of marriage." I whispered the last part looking at my feet knowing that they still could hear me. "Well Eddie boy isn't such a prude after all." Emmett chortled. "Ow! Rosie why did you do that?" he whined to his wife. "Because you are not helping." She said. "I was just telling the truth." He said. "Two weeks." Was all she said. "What?! Rosie baby don't do this." He complained. "Do you want to make it longer?" there banter was cut off by a knock on the door. Esme got up to answer the door. "Why hello Chief Diamond what do I owe this visit?" we all listened in. "Um…I was wondering if I can come in and talk with your family?" "Oh, where are my manners of course come right this was." She responded. A few seconds later they were seated waiting for him to proceed. What is this all about? Carlisle asked me. I just shook my head, not knowing myself. "How may we help you Chief Diamond" Carlisle asked. Chief Diamond took a deep breath before speaking. "Please, please forgive me for what I am about to do." He said almost fearful. "What is this about Chief?" Emmett asked this time. "Okay here it goes. What I am about to tell you is to never be repeated or thought about especially around Bella. Everybody can relax I know you guys are vampires and I know about the shape shifters on the reservation and the treaty you have between them. (Everyone gasped) look Bella would skin me alive for this but it seems like you have become very important to my daughter, so I think there is something you need to know. Because if anything happens to my little girl the person responsible for it will pay severely. Anyways back to the matter at hand. I'm not sure if you realized that Bella is not your everyday human. Oh never mind I forgot some of you attacked her on her first day here." He sighed. "That's an understatement what is Bella if she isn't human?" Emmett asked. "That's what we are desperately trying to find out. She gets her um…talents from my side of the family and others from her mom. Anyways ever since Bella was a baby…no scratch that. Every since she was a fetus I should say." Carlisle interrupted.
"What do you mean Chief Diamond?" "Please call me Charlie. When Renee was pregnant she was experiencing these weird cravings and urges. I know that sound like you typical behavior, and at first that what we thought, but one day we were sitting in the living room watching the Titanic when she started to cry at some sad part and her eyes changed a shocking crystal blue, and her tears was tinged with the same glowing crystal blue color. I can't tell you what all her gifts are because that is her job when she is ready, but I know that her eyes would be easy to explain since it's hard to hide them with her moods. I also want to warn you about another one because I would hate to lose one of you and so would the community." This time I interrupted him. "Let me guess she has fire power too." He quirked his eye brow. "Yeah, how did you know that?" I spread my arms out wide to show that something was missing here. As soon as he realized what was supposed to be there he was on his feet. "Shit! Shit! Shit! Not a piano! What happened? What color was the fire? Did she say anything while it burned? Omgs! This isn't good." Jasper spoke up this time. "The fire was its usual red, but it had a mix of purple and blue in it. As talking is concerned she didn't speak word from her mouth." Charlie exploded.
"Did you say blue and purple?" he asked Jasper shaking slightly. Jasper only nodded. Why is he so furious? Jazz asked. I just shrugged my shoulders. He was a mystery just like his daughter. "Who did the piano belong too?" he said through gritted teeth. "It was mine." Before I knew what was happening I was being lifted off the ground by my throat. "What did you do to her and don't you lie to me boy. I don't give a damn if you are older them me in a way." He sneered at me. Everything was getting blurry and I could barely make out Jasper telling Charlie to calm down. I wonder if vampires could pass out from something like this because I was coming close to finding out. A few minutes later I was released and gaining back my sense. "Damn you strong Charlie! Can we have an arm wrestling match to see who is stronger me or you?" Emmett was practical bouncing in his seat. "No I'm going to have to pass on that for right now. Right now I want to know what you did to my daughter boy." He persisted. "I didn't do nothing really. I just didn't believe her that's all." I stated. Obviously that wasn't a good choice either. "That's all! You made her destroy something she considers sacred!" "I didn't make her destroy my piano!" I snapped back. "You didn't believe her! Which means you don't trust her. You might as well have set the damn thing to fire yourself. She trusted you if she didn't she wouldn't have invited you to her house. You don't understand what you have done. I have a question. Do any of you like my daughter in a romantic kind of way?" he asked.
Everybody looked at me. "Yes, okay I do, why do you ask?" he starts to laugh. "Because I just wanted to know who the dead man is no pun attended." "What is that suppose to mean?" I asked. "It means that Bella liked you and you screwed her over boy." He chuckled. "My name is Edward not boy, and I didn't do anything." I said. He looked at me like I had two heads. "I know what your name is as well as your family and every ones background. I wouldn't be Chief of Police if I didn't do thorough checks on people in town when stuff happened. I'm sorry I pried on your private affairs. *he looked at Rosalie and nodded* like I was saying. You unintentionally started a war that you're not going to win.
Bella is very stubborn and I bet you she had a sad yet triumphant smile on her face. *I nodded and he laughed louder* Jasper I want you to confirm or correct me if I'm wrong on what I'm about to say. *he simply nodded* I heard you say that Bella didn't speak words from her mouth so that only lead me to think that you got her words through your ability. Bella has emotions that doesn't compare to anything in this world as far as I can understand; that's why her fire was blue and purple. Blue because she was heartbroken you didn't believe her and she had to destroy the piano.*he chuckled* It was purple for the reason I stated earlier. She is very stubborn and you set her off." He continued to laugh in my suspense, when there was another knock on the door. This time Carlisle went to answer the door. "Hi, how may I help you?" he asked. "We have a delivery for an Edward Anthony Masen Cullen and a Charles Xavier Diamond. If you could sign here that would be great." A man said. I froze, how did the person know my full name. I looked around to find everyone as shocked as I am except for Charlie. He was shaking with fear. "Sure her you go." Dad told the man at the door. "Great thank you; I'll be right back." Carlisle came back in awe. Followed by four guys carrying the most beautiful piano I have ever seen. It was white with music scales and notes all over it and the bench was the same. That still didn't explain how they knew my name, well it didn't until they closed down the lid for the keys. That's when I seen my name across it. "Here is a letter for you sir and one for you too sir." One of the guys gave a letter to me and Charlie before leaving. I opened mine and read it out loud. "I'm sorry about your piano. I never meant to destroy it honestly. –B.D" wow was all I could think. "Charlie are you okay? Are you going to read your letter and find out who it's from?" Alice spoke for the first time. "I already know who it's from and I'm so dead." he choked out. "Who is it from?" she asked. "Bella. She is the only that would dare to call me by my full name. *he sighs and opens the letter* You are so dead Xavier! Why are you discussing my personal life?! HUH? You know never mind! By the time you finish reading this I will be there. P.S. Tell Edward to step away from the piano." He finished reading the letter and I quickly did as followed. Just as a blur came in a sat down where I was just a moment ago.
**Bella's POV**
Leaving the Cullen's house I felt a wave of unease sweep over me. I'm not sure if it was because a part of me wanted to stay with Edward or if it was something else all together. One thing I knew for sure was that Edward was going to pay. He doesn't get to play with my emotions like that. If he wants to be with me he is going to have to work for it, and I plan to make him suffer along the way. From what I hear temptation is a bitch and I want to see it they are right.
When I got back home I made a fone call to my music people. I told them what I wanted and when I wanted it delivered. I changed into sweats and sports bra to begin my rehearsal for the concert. I was just starting the last set when I had the strangest feeling of betrayal shoot through me and brought me to my knees. What was that about? Maybe dad will know. I called the station to talk to Charlie about what just happened but deputy Mark told me that he went to talk with Dr. Cullen about something important and that's when realization hit me. He wouldn't dare tell them, would he? Of course he would if he thought he was protecting you. Shit! I was about to call him when my cell rang. "Hi, Miss Diamond your delivery is about to head out; it should arrive in an hour." The man told me. "Thank you, but can you add a couple letters for me. One will go to a boy that has bronze hair and the other will go to an older man wearing a police uniform. The boys name is Edward Anthony Masen Cullen and the police officer's name is Charles Xavier Diamond." I told the man exactly what I wanted each letter to say and hung up. Dad is such a dead man. I quickly finished rehearsing and ran up to shower and change.
I need a plan. I don't know what he has told them but I know I don't have much time before he accidently let something slip out. Ugh! Why no why today does everything have to go wrong? I grab my leather outfit that consists of a leather coat, pants, bra, and knee high stiletto boots. I quickly put them on and run down stairs. I don't know how but I need to get everybody over here. I call to order a large pizza for pick up. When I got off the fone I had about 5 minutes to get to the Cullen's. Charlie should be about ready to read the letter. I dashed out the house and hopped on my bike and speed off. I was right I arrived just when he finished his letter. I ran in and sat at the piano only for a second before getting up and admiring the work. It came out just how I wanted it too. I took out my fone and sent a reminder to myself to thank my music people. When I finished expecting the piano I set my coat on top of the piano and started to pace staring at each person in turn as I passed ignoring my dad all together. "First, didn't anybody ever teach you that it's not polite to stare? Secondly, you should close your mouth before you catch flies. Hey is that drool I see. Nope it's just venom." I told Edward and my dad snickered as Edward rubbed his mouth off. My eyes darted to my father and he shut up abruptly. "Why are you here?" Edward asked, but I didn't turn to look at him when I responded. "I know you told me to leave and basically never come back since we're enemies but since Mr. Charles Xavier Diamond over here couldn't keep his damn mouth closed, so now I have this shit to deal with." I snapped at the man in question and he flinched back.
Good because if he says one thing I'm going to strangle him, and I don't give a damn if he is my father or not. "Language Bella, what are you wearing, and how did you know?" My so-called father asked me. When he looked at my face and registered my expression and eyes he tried to make a move for it but it was too late. I launched myself at him. As soon as both my hands got around his neck and I started shaking him I released him, and took a step away from him and fell to my knees and started crying. Don't get me wrong I was still furious at him, but I couldn't kill my father even if I wanted too. I knew everybody was appalled at my behavior but I didn't care. I was betrayed by my own father and I just wanted to crawl in a whole somewhere and hide. "Bells, I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt you." He told me taking a step next towards me. I held out my hand and started to blow knocking him over with my elemental power. I couldn't let this affect me like it is. I knew I had explaining to do, but that could wait. I stood up and glared at him. "Bells calm down." He told me in a stern voice. That just pissed me off further. "Don't tell me to calm the fuck down. You want to talk let's talk. You want to know why I'm here okay. I was practicing when out of nowhere I was brought to my knees by a strong sense of betrayal. I didn't know what was going on, so I call you at your office only to be told by Deputy Mark that you went to Carlisle, and I just knew what was happening. I didn't want to believe it. Scratch that I couldn't believe it. I trusted you more than anybody else including mom and this is how you repay me. Why didn't you come to me before you decided to go gallivanting over here? If you had you probably would have known I'm not welcomed anymore but no you just came running your damn mouth! I'm dressed like this because it was quick and easy to put on to get over here in such short notice.
Did you think how this would affect me at all? You don't deal with this on a regular bases I do. Did you think for once how much this would hurt me to know that I can't trust my own damn father? Shit for Pete sakes I just gave Edward the same damn discussion not even 3 hours ago! Now I have to deal with this, because I was the dumbass to believe that I could trust my father. Don't expect me to forgive you no time soon or talk to you after this. You are so lucky that I have stuff to do here or I would be packed and gone before you could say I'm sorry. Can you tell me why you did it?" he looked at me with said and pleading eyes and looked around the room. I totally forgot that I was inside the Cullen's living room having an argument with my father. I sighed and closed my eyes trying to calm down. I wasn't working because the more I tried the madder I got. I just gave up. "Fuck!" I screamed. I need to get out of this house before I destroy their house. I turned around and faced them. Everybody gasped looking at me eyes no doubt. "I am sorry I brought this in your home Esme. I guess I just can't catch a break today. Please forgive me for disrespecting you in your home I never meant for that to happen. If you guys want to know more about me please follow Charles back to my house; I should be there shortly after. I don't want to stay here anymore and I'm afraid that I will damage your home past repair. By the time you get to the gate I should be there." I told him without looking at him. Grabbed my jacket and ran out the door hopping on my back and driving away. I had to put on my shades so nobody else could see my eyes. I picked up the pizza and headed back to my house. They were just pulling up to the gate when I pressed the button and drove through it. I went around and parked it in the garage.
I grabbed the food and headed to the front door to let everybody in. I walked into the dining room with them on my heels and sat the food down there. I didn't say a word but I ran upstairs and changed into a sports bra and basketball shorts. I ran downstairs and to the backdoor to let my babies in. They were waiting for me I raised my hand to stop them from jumping on me. I closed the door and walked back into the kitchen. Ignoring the gasps from the others I grabbed the pizza box and headed down the stairs to my dojo. I set the food on the little table in the corner. I took out my practice dummies and some pictures for target practice later. I walked back over to the table and took out some beer for Charlie juice and a few things of animal blood for the Cullen's. "Wow Bella you have a lovely home." Esme told me when they came down the stairs. "Thank you Esme but it's not a home yet it's still a house to me but it's getting there." I told her honestly. I turned to my babies and squatted down. "Hey my babies do you want to take some laps with me, but I'm not going slow this time. I need full speed momma is not having a good day and needs to relieve some stress. If you don't then you can go lay down in your spots till I'm down okay." The only one left was midnight. "They really understand what you are saying." Carlisle said in fascination. "Yeah they do. Some of you can join if you want to but like I said I'm going full speed. If you're hungry I have some animal blood over there on the table before you ask it didn't come from my babies. Charles there is beer and pizza on the table for you. Don't touch my drinks." I told him. I walk over to my stereo and turned on some heavy metal to drown out my thoughts. "Ok midnight we are going to start out light then work our way up the first to finish 100 laps gets a steak." I got a roar from her and the others. "No that doesn't include you guys since you wanted to be lazy." I changed my mind instead I didn't want to listen to heavy metal it was just going to piss me off. I turned to radio to 107.9 the End where it has a little bit of everything and walked back to the track. "On your mark get set go!" Midnight stuck with me for about 50 laps before she took out like a bat out of hell around the track. The Cullen's gasped when they saw her speed. I chuckled at her. "I'm guessing you really want that steak huh?" I got a roar from her as she passed me for the fifth time. I turn my head at the rest of my babies. "Do you guys not want to help her and see if you get some of the steak as well? You never know I might even let you guys have your own if she beats me." All of them sprinted to the finish line and broke out in a full out run. When they were on around lap 80 I took off over taking them. We were on our last lap and I was in the lead with midnight on my tail, but I stopped dead in my tracks when she yelped. I turned just in time to see her fall to the ground. I ran over to her as the other turned and surrounded us. As soon as I sat down with her on my lap she jumped up and ran to the finish line. I just sat there with my mouth hanging open like a fish out of water.
They all got on their hind legs like they were doing a victory dance. I was pissed all over again. Not because she beat me but because I thought she was hurt. "ALL OF YOU GO LIE DOWN OVER THERE AND DON'T MOVE! MIDNIGHT, DON'T YOU EVERY PULL SOMETHING LIKE THAT AGAIN ON ME! I THOUGHT YOU WHERE HURT! I WOULD HAVE BEEN HEARTBROKEN IF SOMETHING EVERY HAPPENED TO ANY OF YOU. JUST GO LAY DOWN I DON'T WANT TO LOOK AT YOU RIGHT NOW." I snapped my fingers and medium rare steaks appeared in front of them. Turning my back on them I walked to the dummies and started punching and kicking it. "You know dummy isn't really a challenge since it doesn't hit back." An all too familiar voice said. "And your no better than the dummy so I'd advise you to go back over there like a good little vampire boy you are and leave me alone right now." I told him without breaking contact with the dummy. "I am so sick of people calling me boy today. My fucking name is Edward!" he snapped at me. I didn't respond and just kept punching and kicking the dummy. That was until he grabbed my shoulder. "Dumb move!" somebody yelled but I wasn't paying attention. I grabbed the hand and flipped the owner over my shoulder and before they could fall on the ground I kicked out sending them flying into the wall across the room. Only to realize it was Edward. Oh well he deserved it.
He snarled and started to run at me. When he got to me I jumped over him and landed on his back finding his pressure points again and disabling the movement to his arms and hand. "What the fuck did you do that for!" he snarled. I simply shrugged my shoulders. "You shouldn't touch someone when they are focused on a practice dummy you could be a potential attacker so I responded as so. No walk you vamp ass over to your family and sit down and be a good little vamp boy and I might give you the ability to move your arms again." He walked off when midnight came over with their steaks. They placed them at my feet. I wanted to cry and started to walk away with their heads down. "No wait! I'm sorry for yelling at you guys especially you Midnight. I just been having a fucked up day and it just seems like I can't do anything right. You done nothing wrong momma is the one to blame for everything. I should have kept my mouth shut from the beginning, but I just couldn't. You all deserve you food. You beat me fair and square in my book. Please don't be mad at me. I already lost everything else important to me I can't lose you guys too." I couldn't finish talking I was in tears. What did I do to deserve this? Is it because of the thing with Jessica and them or was it something to do with Edward and the other boys. Next thing I know I was on the ground. When I looked up Midnight was on my chest gazing down at me. When I opened my mouth to speak she licked me. "Ew! Midnight my mouth was open!" I couldn't help but laugh. The rest ended dog pilling on top of me. Well I guess it was a cat pile. "Thank you guys I love you guys so much. I promise next time I take my anger out on you for no reason I'll sleep outside will ya'll take over the house deal." They all roared in agreement. I giggled and got up. "Grab your steaks and we can go eat with the others okay." The all ran to their steaks and we made our way over to the table. Everybody was looking at me with a mixture of awe, fear, and sadness. Great I just walked into a freaking pity party.
"Can I have my arms back now." Edward snapped at me. "When I decide to and when you change your attitude towards me." I told him calmly. "Can you please give me control over my arms." I tapped into his powers for a second before asking my next question. "Why do you need control over your arms?" I asked. "So I can drink.*And so I can strangle you with them.*" I laughed at his thoughts. "So you want to strangle me. Well that won't be the first time and probably not the last either, but what the heck I'll give you a try." I lean over and start pressing on his back to release his arms. "How did you know what I was thinking?" he asked. "Did you forget that I can take gifts from people if I wanted to but mine is stronger than yours? Okay so this is what is going to happen. We are going to go around the table and ask one question and one question only, because unlike most of you I still need to sleep and it's going on 1 in the morning, but before we start any other question not related to what I can do?" Emmett spoke first. "Bellsie when do I get my gift?" he whined. "I already told you that Em. When I think you earned it, but seeing that you are cut off for two weeks I might decide to give it to you soon just to brighten up your week." I giggled at the end. "How did you know I was cut off." He asked with a frown. "Oh Edward told me." Everybody looked at him in shock. "I did not tell you no such thing. Don't you sit here and lie." He snapped. "Please stop you are just digging yourself in a deeper hole Edward." Charlie told him. "I may be a lot of things but I don't fucking lie. I just finish telling you that I took your gifts from you and that they are stronger than yours. When I took your gift I seen all the thought you ever had. So even though it was unintentional you told me that Rose cut Em off because he wasn't being helpful. Oh before you ask I already know about the conversation you had before Charles showed up and that you're my fucking secret admirer." I spat back standing up and moving away from the table.
Everyone just gasped. "Do you not respect anybodies privacy?! Those are personal thoughts. If I wanted people to know what I think about and what they think about I would tell them." He stood up walking towards me. "Why don't you go and sit back down and leave me alone. I didn't want to know all of those thoughts again. I was trying to get rid of them from last time. Yeah, I said again. The first day I met ya'll I had access to your power and I seen everything the only difference from now and then is the fact that I'm in it more. So how bout you do both of us a favor and sit back down before I do something I might regret, or even worse something I won't." I snapped at him. Turned around and walked to the other end of the room, but I was stopped by him again. "Why are you doing this?" "Why am I doing what Edward?" I asked. "Why are you pushing me away from you? Why are you pushing the others away from you? They have done nothing but love you since you came along." My eyes snapped up at that. "Really now because if my memory serves me correct you, and Jasper tried to kill me on my first day at school. Jazz has been keeping track of my gifts and trying to figure me out since the beginning, if that's love I don't want it. What did you just finish saying to me? Something about respecting other people's privacy. Don't you think that's the pot calling the kettle black? Since you have been trying to evade my privacy from the very beginning. When I did it; it was a fucking accident. I didn't want to know all that shit. And I tried my fucking hardest to forget it, but I can't. You don't fucking know me Edward, but for some reason you want me. For some fucking reason we're falling for each other. Well I don't want it none of it. I know everything about you. From where you were born, your friends, pets, parents, the day they died, when Carlisle changed you, your rebellion stage, and so on, but you don't know shit about me and probably won't.
I have been trying to find ways to tell you things about me but it's so fucking hard to do. I can't tell you what I am because I don't know myself. All you'll probably ever know is that I have elemental gifts, I can take gifts, cut them off all together, I'm a physical and mental shield, and my eyes change colors depending on my mood. Oh yeah I forgot I can tell when someone I trust double crosses me, but that's about it. Other than that I'm human. I'm a freak of nature that is only trying to find her way in life. I'm just trying to find where I belong. I thought I was getting close to finding that place but I was wrong. I will never fit in anywhere. So let me save you the trouble. I'm a nobody just another soulless monster in your books and the day that I die will be the day that I will forgive myself for all the live I took supernatural or not and I will embrace Satan's arms like we are long lost friends." I finished my speech with everybody staring at me. "You can't believe that can you." He asked in disbelief. "Let me ask you this. When was the day that you stopped thinking of yourself as a soulless monster for all the people you killed? When was the day that you stopped beating yourself up for everything you done in the past? HUH?" he was quiet for a minute before he spoke again. "That is different Bella. You wouldn't understand what it was like." I looked him straight in the eye before I brought my hand back and let it fly across his face. Everybody rushed over then. "Don't you dare stand here in my face and tell me I don't understand what it was like. You have killed people for three years of your new existence, while I have been since I was a kid. I had to learn how to fight at an early age because there was always somebody there trying to get me for reason I still don't know.
If I didn't learn how I would have been buried in the ground by now. I had to fight off the people you hunted down Edward. That was my life constantly. If I went out at night I would either run into a vampire, or werewolf. They wanted me for my blood. Always for my blood and flesh. If it was them it was gang members or thieves. Only when I started hanging out in downtown did I run into rapist. Nothing on this planet could every compare to that. You can't stand here and tell me I don't understand when it's you who doesn't. I knew how to fight and I even had some gifts to aid me, but it wasn't enough to get me moving. When it's six against one and you are praying to GOD that they are only thieves. But when you realize that they want the one thing that you value most your blood runs dry. Your struggles are useless. Fear is the dominate factor in your body. When they rip your clothes away till there is nothing left and you're pinned down believing this is the end you give up and wish for a quick death, but that wasn't for me. I snapped as soon as one of them touched my bare leg. All I saw was red. The need to kill and destroy was all that was on my mind. Dismembering them wasn't enough; it felt too nice of a way to die. No instead I pulled back flesh, ripped out muscles, only leaving bloody skeletons before setting them on fire and running home naked staying locked up in the bathroom for weeks trying to scrub away the feeling of dirtiness from your skin, but not getting entirely clean and you can still feel them on you touching you defiling you. Every time you close your eyes you see it thinking about what if I didn't snap out of it, or what if I still wasn't strong enough to stop them, what would happen to me. Where would I be? I didn't have Carlisle to save me and even then I wouldn't let him, because I believe that was my punishment for killing all those people. So until you been on the other side you have no place to judge. What you did to you victims was second nature to you. What I did was not suppose to be in my nature. You felt like a monster because you were sentencing them to death with a trail. I'm a monster because…be…" I started crying to hard. "Ssh bells it's over you don't have to live with that again." Charlie says but I shake him off. "No he wants to know! I'm a soulless monster because it I crave the kill I have no regrets after I kill them. I don't feel sorry for the friends or loved ones that they just lost. They deserved to die in my book. If they didn't have a death wish then they should have tried a different occupation. Is there anything else you want to know about me? Or have you finally realized that you're wasting your time with me. I don't trust people because they give me no reason to trust them, and when I tried to trust them it just gets thrown back in my face by everybody. It is now 3:30 am I have school in a few hour and I would like to try and get some sleep. If you will please excuse me, I'm sure Charles won't mind walking you to the door before he leaves. Come babies I need ya'll to sleep with me tonight to keep the nightmares away." With that me and my babies left. Not looking back to see the pity and horror etched in their faces. It would have been too much to deal with right now. Climbing into bed with my tigers beside me I drifted off to sleep.