Fourteen

Monday came around and I was ecstatic. When I woke up, I felt a surge of uncontrollable energy swell up inside me that I was going to burst the minute I saw that shining silver hair. So I stepped out of my house, which turned into a tumble.

After collecting myself, I did all of my daily chores. Once I was finished, my sense of usual accomplishment was replaced with a new feeling of overexcited joy of seeing someone I've been waiting to see since last Wednesday.

I tried to look subtle. I smiled to everyone and said hellos. I couldn't even explain how loud my heart was. How hard it was beating. How much it was thriving just to see his face, hear his words, feel his lips on mine once again.

I walked past Chen's coolly and calmly, as I walked into Mirabelle's. She was there at the counter. When I met eyes with her, I must've had a weird sense in them that told her I wasn't here to buy anything. So the look on her face fell ever so slightly, but she quickly plastered it, once again, with her heartwarming smile, and she softly said, "Julia's in the back, dear."

I nodded to her, and went around, going towards the back to wear I would find Julia. I walked into her room and she was lying down, staring at the ceiling. She moved her head slowly towards mine, and when I saw the look in her eye, it almost looked dead. But when I sat down beside her, a spark of confusion ran across her face so quickly, so lightly that I was wondering if she was trying to cover it up.

When I asked her what was wrong, that small stroke of confusion soon flooded her whole face. She sat up, and furrowed her eyebrows, her fingernails gripping deeply into her comforter. I stared at her hands nervously, and looked back up in her eyes.

I tried to ignore my sudden urge to just get up and walk next door into Vaughn's room, but Julia, being one of my best friends, I had to calm that urge. No matter how much it was going to take control of me, I had to calm it.

So I sat there, took in a heap of air, and continued to stare at her, straight in her eyes. She just sat there, still gripping the comforter, as she said, "I'm confused."

I sighed, and quickly said, "I figured that. What about though?"

"When Vaughn pulled in this morning, something was…off…about him."

I just stared at her, even though a pool of emotions were swirling about inside of me. Obviously, my straight-faced look kept her wondering long enough to have her question me just once more.

"Do you know anything about it?"

I hated lying to Julia, cause I felt every lie I told someone was just a rip in a friendship. It broke a bond, but this was different. Julia would forgive me, and I'm sure of it.

"No." I responded flatly.

"Are you sure?" she leaned in, trying to look deeper into my sapphire orbs. I backed up, hoping that if she looked close enough she wouldn't see the rough lies behind these eyes. I gnawed at the inside of my cheek. But instead of answering her question, I decided to ask a question of my own.

"How off is he?" I wondered.

Julia then leaned back on the headboard, and looked up at the ceiling once more. She just sighed and shrugged her shoulders, her golden brown locks fallen beside her shoulders. She looked at me and mumbled, "I dunno, he just doesn't look right. He looks…like he did a season ago. Before you started talking to him."

I don't know what just happened, but I felt my whole body go numb. I couldn't feel anything anymore. I couldn't feel my stomach flip, or the strange craving to see his face, or even the sudden fear Julia gave me often whenever she questioned me. There was just nothing. I was numb and lifeless, as I stared at Julia longer. My eyes bored into her as if I were looking at the wall behind her a lot more than her.

"Like what?" I shook in absolute fear.

"You're starting to look pale," she whispered, "he's in his room. Please see what's up with him. I know he can be antisocial, but with you…he's different. And I miss that about him."

All I did was nod. I told her I was going to talk to him, and I walked into the other room. When I opened the door, I looked to see Vaughn standing by the window, his back facing me. I hesitated several times on what to say, but I finally just spit out, "V-Vaughn?"

He turned around to face me, and Julia was right; I thought I saw absolutely nothing in his face before, but this was twenty times worse. I did not only see nothing. I saw a spiraling death hole of nothing, of emptiness.

"Are you okay?" I asked, concern lining my voice greatly.

"Fine," he said roughly.

"Please Vaughn," I walked up to him, now my pointer finger poking at his hand. He didn't flinch, but he just stared at me. "I know it may be difficult for you to talk to me but…but please try."

He turned his head down at me, his amethyst eyes sparkling. I wanted them to be the last eyes I looked in to. So I just soaked in the beauty, when he just sighed loudly and heavily.

"I made a mistake yesterday."

That was when I felt my stomach twist and my anger rise.

"Oh really?" I snapped. "Another mistake?"

"Chelsea, it just…wasn't supposed to happen."

"Vaughn," I breathed, trying to contain my anger. I hated raising my voice at him. But today was different. I had to. "Vaughn, I'm sick and tired of you doing something, and then…telling me it was a mistake, or the wrong idea, or whatever you would tell me! I can't take it anymore, Vaughn. I'm getting mixed signals, and honestly, it's driving me insane. Like, literally. I just hope you know that I like you Vaughn, I really do, but honestly, I would never know if you liked me back because it's just…messed up! You kissed me yesterday, and now you're here telling me it just wasn't supposed to happen? And now we're supposed to just go back to being friends?"

Vaughn stared at me, emotion flooding his face. It was such a mixture that my mind was being blown just by staring at him. So I looked away, feeling my eyes bubble.

"Chelsea…"

"Just stop." I took in a breath. "I just don't know what to think anymore. My mind's telling me to stop, but my heart's telling me to keep going. And honestly, I don't know who's right anymore. But I'm starting to think that…that it is definitely not my heart."

I could see the hurt in his eyes, and it stung me deep.

"No, Chelsea. Don't think like that. Please don't think like that.""Then tell me!" I screeched. "Talk to me! Do something! I can't take these mysterious paths you lead me just so that I could be put in another dead end!"

I pulled at my hair and muttered, "Out of everyone, I like you. You are the most difficult, challenging, annoying-"

Vaughn took my wrists and pulled them away from my head. I looked up at him and he just stared down at me. I took in a sharp breath when he whispered, "I hope this isn't too straight forward for you."

I cocked my head at him and said, "What do you mean?"

"Because I'm about to do…this," he whispered, dropping my wrists.

And that was when he rested his hand on the side of my face, and wrapped his arm around my waist. My hands were brought up to touch his chest as his lips softly pressed on mine. The sudden high, the sudden exhilaration rushed through me again, spreading quickly. I pulled back, but kept my face close to his. I breathed and said, "I'm actually still confused."

And we both just chuckled a little bit, when he pressed his lips on mine again, causing me to jump inside my stomach, and his grip on my side tightening just slightly. My mind flipped insanely.

I crept out of Vaughn's room, but I immediately bumped into Julia. I flew backwards, reopening Vaughn's bedroom door, and Vaughn stood at the doorway, bewildered. I looked up at him from the floor and gave him a small smile, and then looked up to see the injured Julia on the floor.

"What was going on?" she screeched. "You were gone for over a half hour and the ceiling was getting boring!"

"Sorry," I muttered with a smile, "a lot of clearing up to do."

"So tell me," she said, standing up. I followed, standing in front of Vaughn, who was stiff in front of the doorway. "I heard a bunch of shouting, and then…absolutely nothing. What happened in there?"

I looked up at Vaughn, who was blushing ever so slightly. I looked at him, my voice caught in my throat before I whispered, "Do you want me to tell her, or do you want to?"

Vaughn just looked at me, his eyes shaking, but then he turned to look at his cousin. He was going to do it. He was going to tell her.

"It…it was nothing, Julia."

I froze. Did my ears really come across those words? I felt my face grow hot as I looked up at Vaughn, feeling the anger swell up intensely again. He looked as if he were struggling to look down at me. I couldn't take it. I wasn't going to do this.

I stepped back and turned around as Julia said, "Nothing?"

I sighed and looked right at Vaughn. He stared back at me, his eyes frozen on mine. I shook my head and said, "Yup, Julia. It was absolutely nothing. And it will never be anything."

I stared at his beautifully shattered amethyst eyes and muttered, "Good-bye Vaughn."

I turned myself toward the door, when I heard Vaughn shout, "Chelsea, wait!"

I felt his hand curl around mine, but I quickly snapped it out. I didn't even look at him when I growled, "Don't touch me."

And with that, I charged into the night, and looked up at the sky to notice the sky grow dark and the clouds hover around the blackened sky.

Vaughn's POV

I watched as she left the house, and I stood there like an idiot. How could I do that to her for the third time? I knew it was going to happen. I knew if I said that then that was the reaction I was going to get. So why did I do it again?

Because I am an absolute idiot.

I turned myself around and looked at my cousin. She stared at me with a frightened look as she stuttered, "V-Vaughn…please just…t-tell me."

I had to. It was the only way I could possibly make things better with Chelsea. I couldn't just let her go.

"I messed up, Julia."

Julia just stared at me deeper. She sighed and said, "Look, Vaughn, I know you have this issue of 'opening up', but it would totally help if you could."

I couldn't keep it from her. No matter how much I just wanted to run out of the house and get Chelsea, I had to get through this wall that Julia guarded. She needed to know. Obviously, Chelsea has been trying her best to keep some secrets from her, but of course, she could never do that to her. But I can. And it has gotten me to some of the worst positions I've been placed in.

Such as this one.

Our first kiss, in my bedroom under faded lights, was not only my first kiss, but memorable. I remembered every living and breathing moment of it, and I would never let it escape my mind, whether I was able to see Chelsea's beautiful face or not.

The kiss we had just exchanged was just as great as the first one. The look in her eyes was so angry, and it killed me to know she was angry; at me. I wasn't enough for her, so why would she like me?

I tried my best to be good enough for her, but she's this creature that should belong to someone like Will, Elliot, even Denny. But not me.

"You remember the night of the storm, right?" I asked in a hoarse voice.

She nodded.

"When you left to look for Mirabelle…she came into my room. And we talked. And then…we k-kissed."

Her mouth widened, as well as her eyes.

"And then, we did again…just moments ago."

"Seriously?" she screeched.

"She keeps getting mad at me," I leaned my back against the wall and slid down. "I keep pretending that whatever happens between us…never happened."

"Vaughn," Julia crouched down next to me. "It's okay. Talk to her about it. I can see what you guys have. And it's strong."

"But ever since my parents left," I said, "I told myself I would never love again."

"Vaughn." She turned my face so I was looking right into her eyes. "Do you love her?"

It was a good question; did I love her? Chelsea was an amazing girl and I didn't deserve to even have her, let alone love her. What was she doing to me? She was morphing me into this completely different person that I never thought I would be again. But in a small way, I missed it. She brought something back that I missed so dearly. I wanted it again. The only way I get it back is just whenever I look at her. Every time I see her…she takes my breath away. I can't lose that.

"I don't know," I mumbled.

"Well, whatever it is," Julia breathed, "she really likes you, you know that right?"

"I know," I sighed, "and I keep messing it up!"

"Calm down!" she cried, gripping me. "Vaughn, please. Just try to stay calm. Don't

|destroy yourself. Just go out and get her."

I looked at her and raised my eyebrows.

"You heard me!" she cawed, pushing me. "You like her, don't you? Go get her!"

And all I did was stand, Julia at my side. She looked at me, and, without warning, I grabbed her and pulled her into a hug. Telling she was obviously confused, she hesitated before hugging me back. I quietly whispered, "Thank you" and darted out the door.

Chelsea's POV

I paced the front of my lawn, noticing a path forming. I stroked my fingers through my hair and screamed. I felt the raindrops pour on my skin, feeling like rocks, stones, bricks. I squeezed my eyes shut and angrily shouted at myself.

Why would I let myself feel like that? I thought in a screeching voice. Why would I do this to myself?

I continued to pace along. I thought that those two kisses that we exchanged meant something. I felt a spark, but didn't he? Why didn't he have the courage to finally tell people that we both felt something toward each other?

He was probably trying to keep an image. Trying to keep his secretive, non-feeling, anti-social image he was so used to having, and I was probably ruining it. It was fine anyways. I didn't like him. I hate him.

I can't take it.

And what about Julia? Would she ever find out? I felt horrible keeping secrets from her, but at this point, I wasn't afraid to share it. I was going to tell Julia, but obviously, he was so full for the idea to just keep everything a secret. My relationship with him wasn't going to be one of those where we met out at three in the morning just to spend long hours together, and have our dates on different ends of the Diner. I wasn't going to do that. Not for someone that was too ashamed to be seen with me.

It was until then, when everything powered off.

I felt absolutely nothing, except a large vibration surge through my body, causing me to black out, and forget everything that had just occurred.

I was gone. And my mind was black.

A/N: soo...how would you respond to THIS chapter? why did vaughn take it back again?

major props go to Lavender Llightning. she guessed it. read her review for chapter thirteen:DD

and thank you, Lavender Llightning, i am so very evil. but once next chapter comes around, i'm almost positive you'll surely love me.

:)

review please! vvv