Here you go, the promised second chapter!
BTW, "Italics in quotes are sung words just to let you know! See, I'm singing right now! Wooould you light my candle? Or take me ooooooooooooout tonight! Meow, HA!"
And when it's JUST italics, they're THOUGHTS. See, I'm thinking of taking over the world right now
That's all you people need to know right now. Enjoy the story! :)
Roger sighed as he sat out in the loft's living room. It was 2:30 in the morning, and he couldn't sleep. Like if Roger fell asleep, Mark wouldn't be there, and he hated that thought.
Benny had left at 11 p.m., making up the excuse that Alison didn't like it when he was out late. But Roger really knew that he had other work to do, and he was wasting his time by hanging out with Roger, hoping Mark would come out of his room.
Shortly after Mark went down for his nap, he called Lisa, and explained that he found Mark and everything was okay. She seemed so thankful, and Roger found himself wondering if she really did care about Mark. When she asked to see him, Roger told her that he probably needed his rest, so she could come and visit in the morning. She reluctantly agreed, and left Roger to go talk to Ben.
Roger looked at the clock and sighed. 2:33 it read. It's been 12 hours...how much sleep does he need? Roger thought, absentmindedly playing Musetta's Waltz. Let's just make this part go faster...I should tell you...I should tell you...I should tell...Roger shook his head, trying to get his and Mimi's song out of his head.
But he soon realized that was exactly how he felt. The reason why he wanted Mark to get up, the reason why he was so nervous, was because he wanted to tell Mark something...through a song.
When Mark was gone that week, he didn't just laze around the loft (though he did that a lot of the time). On the way back from the clinic a week ago, a beat formed in his mind, and following that was lyrics. This was Mark's song, like 'Your Eyes' was Mimi's song.
'The Reason' was Mark's song.
He began to play the notes ever so softly, and sung it softly under his breath. Occasionally he looked up at the clock, and every time he did he cussed under his breath and continued playing his song.
I should tell you
I should tell you
I should tell you
I should tell that I'm sorry
That I left you
I should tell that I know I don't deserve you
But I'm glad you stay anyway
I should tell you that I wrote you a song
While you were gone...
Absentmindedly he began to play 'I should tell you' on his guitar, like he used to when he and Mimi were together and right after she died. "I should tell you... I should tell you..." Roger sang over and over again.
"What should you tell me?"
Roger gasped at the sudden voice, and sighed in relief when he realized it was just Mark. When he did finally notice it was Mark, he groaned. Mark was just as handsome as ever, with a his red—almost blond, Roger realized—hair was sticking up in all directions, and he looked incredibly groggy. There was a child-like air about him, something Roger noticed before but never really acknowledged. All of that combined made him look insanely cute.
Goddamn Mark...you really have to make this hard for me, don't you?
"It's nothing Mark...why are you up?" Roger asked, going back to playing Musetta's Waltz. "Well, I've been sleeping for a long time, so I figured I would...hang out I guess." Mark shrugged, walking over to the kitchen.
"Are you still tired?" Roger asked, following Mark to the kitchen.
Mark was already there, making some tea, something Mark required for whatever reason before he went to bed or after he wakes up. Roger also noticed this before, but he never really acknowledged it unless to make fun of him. God, what else did I miss?
Let's Just Make This Part Go Faster
I Have Yet To Be In It
I Should Tell You
Roger shook the lyrics out of his head, and stood beside Mark to help put the kettle on the hot plate. But Roger made sure not to touch him.
When the water was boiling on the hot plate, Mark jumped onto the counter, while Roger went to jump on the metal table. Awkward silence followed, which sort of scared the two men since they have never had an awkward silence together in the whole 20 (or 21, depends on who you asked) years they've known each other.
"So...you must've had a good dream or something, because you've been asleep for at least 12 hours." Roger said, smiling.
"Oh...I have? Well...oops." Mark said, rubbing his neck. Roger frowned at his sign of nervousness. What is Mark so nervous about? Have I done anything to make him that way?
Roger nervously looked at Mark, and ran his fingers through his hair. How will I tell him? How will I sing his song to him, and then confess my feelings. It seems...impossible. Roger thought, staring at Mark. It didn't take long for Mark to notice this of course.
Who Knows Where
Who Goes There
Who Knows
Here Goes!
"What Rog? Something wrong?" Mark asked, going into listening mode.
"No...I mean, yes...I mean, no, nothing's wrong...but there is something up." Roger said, stumbling over his words. God, I haven't ever stumbled over my words for anyone. Not even Mimi...
Trusting Desire, Starting To Learn
Walking Through Fire without a Burn
"What is it?" Mark asked, moving over to the metal table and sitting beside his best friend. Mark didn't notice that when he did, Roger softly began to tremble with the effort not to touch him, or notice that Roger's breathing quickly became ragged.
Clinging a Shoulder, a Leap Begins
Stinging and Older, Asleep On Pins
"It's just..." he didn't know what to say. Roger Davis; the charmer, the sex and rock n' roll God, the guy that could win any girl over without even trying, was suddenly speechless. He couldn't find one word to say...except for four.
"I should tell you." Roger sang softly
"I should tell you." Mark whispered back, which made Roger slightly surprised.
"I should tell you I left because
I just couldn't deal." Roger confessed, though it hurt him slightly. He didn't want to admit himself as a coward, but he had to. He had to come clean.
"I should tell you that that kiss
Actually made me feel." Mark whispered a small smile on his face. Roger smiled back, and hesitantly grabbed Mark's hand. Mark sighed, though it sounded slightly choked. Stop grabbing my hand, Roger. You're just hurting me more...You kiss me, and refuse to talk about it...so don't hold my hand...doesn't let be hope that you love me back...
"I should tell that when I was gone
I missed you every Goddamn day." Mark whispered, gripping Roger's hand. It was then Roger got a glimpse of the pain that he put Mark through. It felt like a slap in the face, or a punch in the stomach. Though Roger knew that he should get more than a slap or a punch for hurting Mark the way he did. He hurt Mark way too much, and for that he knew he was going to Hell, since Mark was definitely an angel. Despite all of the things he's done. And Roger knew instantly that he'd have to do a lot to make Mark forgive and trust him again.
"I should tell that I know I don't deserve you
But I'm glad you stay anyway." Roger said, smiling slightly at Mark and squeezing his hand ever so slightly. Mark smiled back, though it looked like it was forced. It's I who doesn't deserve you Rog.
"I should tell you..." Mark whispered, getting used to the feel of Roger's hand in his.
"I should tell you..." Roger whispered, readying himself to confess his love.
"I should tell you that I wish
Everyone wasn't gone." Mark whispered, tears coming to his eyes. Roger knew it must've taken a lot to admit that, so Roger squeezed his hand tight and gave him an encouraging smile. Mark smiled and squeezed right back.
"I should tell you while you were gone
I wrote you a song." Roger whispered, and opened his mouth the say his other confession, but Mark stopped him.
"Really? Sing it to me." Mark said, letting go of Roger's hand and hopping off the table. Roger felt deflated as he sighed and followed Mark. He was planning to do this, but he should have thought ahead. I should have confessed the second thing first. Roger thought with a sigh, and went over to his resting guitar.
He sat down softly on the couch, with Mark settling in the recliner, and there was a slight awkward silence until Roger talked. "It's still a bit rough...please be honest about what you think." Roger whispered, placing his calloused fingers on the right first notes. And slowly he began.
"I'm not a perfect person I've found a reason for me
There's many things I wish I didn't do
But I continue learning
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you."
Mark stared at Roger, looking slightly shocked. Roger realized slowly that Mark just realized that this song was his. It was written specifically for him. Roger knew that Mark was looking at this song in a new light, so Roger knew that he had to perfect this song now.
"I'm sorry that I hurt you
It's something I must live with every day
And all the pain I put you through
I wish that I could take it all away
And be the one who catches all your tears."
Mark kept staring at Roger, though his face was expressionless. Roger was slightly worried about that, but he carried on.
"That's why I need you to hear I'm not a perfect person
I've found a reason for me
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you [x4]
I never meant to do those things to you
And so I have to say before I go
That I just want you to know!"
Roger sang passionately, staring right into Mark's eyes now. Mark stared back, and Mark noticed something flicker in his eyes. Love? Adoration? He couldn't make it out. But he knew it was loving. Roger slightly smiled, and kept playing.
"I've found a reason for me I've found a reason to show
To change who I used to be
A reason to start over new
and the reason is you
A side of me you didn't know
A reason for all that I do
And the reason is you."
Roger finished, the last note hanging in the air. Everything was silent in the loft now, and Mark looked away. But Roger didn't miss the shock written on his face. Roger was now fully worried, and placed his old guitar gently beside him, before moving forward to touch Mark. But Mark fought away, and was gasping slightly. No...he...no love...he can't love...he can't love someone like me...no one loves me...no one can love me...he was on the edge of the couch now, and Roger froze where he was, even though his hand was outstretched.
"Mark?" he asked.
But all he got from Mark was him repeating over and over again, "No, no, no, no, no..."
"Mark!" Roger called, and that got Mark to turn around. Mark turned, blinked once...twice...and then swiftly stood up, startling Roger. Mark started ramble to himself, something about how late it was and how tired he felt, but Roger was having none of it. Mark began to walk to his door quickly, but Roger was off and running in an instant, catching Mark and turning him if one swift move.
"Mark...I need to tell you something...something I've kept hidden...something I've always felt for you, but something I've always pushed away for a girl, or kept hidden. Mark...Mark...Mark...Mark...Mark... Dammit, you have to stop doing this to me...Look..." Roger rambled, while Mark stood there, still as a statue, taking in Roger's every move, every word, every tremble.
Oh fuck, he's not gonna...no...
"Mark," Roger whispered, fighting against his nervous habit and trembling all the while, "I should tell you...I should t-tell you...I love you."
And with that, Roger leaned in and kissed his best friend.
Ooh, the drama! Wow, this turned out longer then I thought it would be. Oh, I bet you hate me right now...MWAHAHAHA!
Oh yeah, this story is coming to an end soon. 2-5 more chapters, 7 more tops. Yes, I know how sad you all are because of this.
R&R everyone!