Chapter 14
"It's land."
"See, I knew that Harvard education would come in handy."
He moved her forward over the bare dirt.
"It's your land," he told her. "You don't need to stay in the fortress Lex left you. You can create your own home. I'm flying in three architects for you to choose from and you can have your own life for the baby. It won't be ready in five months, but it'll be yours."
"You're giving me this?"
"No, you're paying for everything yourself. You don't want my name on anything. You need something that's yours. I'm just showing you how much land Kansas actually has that shouldn't go to waste…and calling in a few favors to get the process started."
She had a hard time even looking at him. Was thank you an appropriate thing to say? She didn't even know if she should accept something like this, though it did seem like something long overdue.
"It may be yours, and you can make it anything you want, but I do hope that when it's finished that sometimes you'll open the door and let me in."
XxX
Tess was lost, anxious, and friendless. She was almost five months pregnant and although she wasn't dressing in maternity clothes or getting sappy looks from affectionate mothers yet, she could tell even if others were still unaware.
A week ago, Oliver had confessed to her that Lois had shouted violently at him in her defense over the baby when Lois and Clark had dropped by during her nap on Oliver's couch. When Tess asked him why, he told her that although he'd never had any intention of taking the baby, Lois had rushed to conclusions, but the point was her defense of Tess, and that she should give Lois a break and feel a little of that support.
Unfortunately, the first thing Tess felt was hurt that Oliver didn't even wait for Tess to wake up before discussing her situation with people Tess didn't have a particularly close relationship with. Oliver tried to apologize and Tess listened, and then she tried to recognize his purpose in telling her. She reluctantly tried to accept Lois's bizarre protection.
That discussion now led Tess to Clark's farm for Lois's odd encouragement…if she would even bother giving any. Tess had nowhere else to go and she had nothing in particular to lose and by the time she'd realized how stupid the idea was she was already walking up the porch steps.
Clark's window was open and she heard their loud talking, stepping instantly to the wall to avoid making her presence known.
"I'm not saying I don't understand, I'm saying you took the easy way out."
"Easy, how was it easy?"
"Well, for one thing, you made the decision for both of us. You decided that I wasn't capable of knowing, so every time I found out you found some way to take away my memories so you wouldn't have to deal with what might happen."
"You know I was protecting you."
"Really? Just me? Because everyone else already knew."
"You were different! I've lost too many people to risk the one person I knew I couldn't live without."
"We lose people all the time, Clark. Who have I not lost? My entire family is crazy, I have a few scattered memories of my mother, and the one last family member I love would rather spend her time with you. So don't stand there like you have lost so much more than I have and I couldn't possibly understand your decisions, and the decisions you took away from me."
Tess could hear in Lois's voice that she was trying to conceal her vulnerability.
"Relationships end for all kinds of reasons, but it doesn't mean you don't love each other. It doesn't mean it's not worth it or that you don't tell the person the truth. You don't stand across the room from them for years letting them think you don't care because you're afraid of what could happen. You literally don't have the right to make the decision for both of us. That's my life you were not letting me have a say in."
"You're saying I have to tell you how I feel to give you a say?"
"You shouldn't have erased my memories and lied to me. But aside from that, what you did was not heroic. You weren't protecting anyone. You should've told me you loved me a long time ago, regardless of any potential possible consequence. There's always a consequence. I love you, and I understand, and I'm not going anywhere. But you would've saved yourself a lot of pain and a lot of goodbyes if you had learned to tell the people you loved the truth a long time ago. If you had had faith in them."
Tess left immediately, whether it was because it was too intimate a discussion between them or because it because it was it hitting a personal nerve of her own, she wasn't sure. She ran down Clark's dirt driveway and stopped, looking down at her stomach. She placed a hand over it, no longer feeling strong, toned muscles beneath her fingers.
If Tess had been on the other side of Lois's argument, she could've fired back a lot stronger than Clark, but there was one comment that she's said that personally struck Tess. Was pulling away from the relationship making the decision for both people involved?
~~~~To Be Continued~~~~
Notes: Because I have to put 'notes', right? It's like a commentary! Okay, first off, I feel so strong about Pandora even after all this time. It's one of my all time favorite episodes, but Clark and Chloe wiping Lois's personal memories after bitching Tess out and then doing the exact same thing that they were claiming she was the devil for, well it pissed me off to the point of…never mind.
I love Lois and I wanted to give her a voice behind all of the suppression, all of the innocent stupidity they practically force on her that drives me crazy.
It's not that she wouldn't forgive Clark, but she might actually be the one person to stand up and tell him what an idiot he's being and that he's not heroic every time he uses his alien identity to lie or overpower someone else. (Can you tell I feel strongly? *grins*)
And that leads into Lois's voice banging into Tess's subconscious. Does Tess have the right to make the choice over both and Oliver's future based on fear? Is that ever a good decision, or is it even fair when you really love someone? Do you take the risk? What's the right choice?