Reuniting Friends & Lovers

Chapter 13

Location: Kimberly's bedroom, Shane's estate.

The first signs of a new day came with the narrow stream of sunlight that leaked through the closed drapes from Kim's bedroom window. Shane was in the direct path of the light, sitting in a chair with his feet resting on the bed where Kim slept. He rubbed his tired eyes and looked over to see Kimberly sleeping peacefully under the covers. It had been a long night for Shane as he protectively watched over Kim while she slept. Once Kim was settled into a sound slumber, Shane had pulled a chair that sat in the corner of the bedroom and positioned it near the bed. He saw a book peering out from a magazine on the nightstand to the left of Kim's bed and picked it up out of curiosity. One look at the cover told Shane, the book was left by his forgetful daughter. Shane said a silent prayer that Jeannie had completed the assignment before the lapse in judgment. Glancing over at Kimberly, Shane knew that he could not leave the room. There was no way Shane could rest after seeing how distraught Kimberly was, so he hoped Chaucer's creative little tales could at least sooth him into a light doze. Instead, the book remained opened but unread, lying in Shane's lap as he replayed the conversation back in his psyche over and over again. The look in Kim's eyes, her voice, it all haunted Shane as he realized the gravity of the circumstances. As Shane watched the shadows dance lightly around the room to reflect the warmth of the morning light, a stream of vibrations pulsating from his Blackberry hit Shane on his right side, alerting him to work that needed to be addressed. There were two text messages from Bo, one from John and strangely enough, a voice mail from his former sister-in-law. Shane would view them all but first he needed to freshen up and call for some assistance. There was no way Kimberly was going to be alone when she woke up!

An hour later, Kim still had not stirred but Shane had showered, changed, retrieved his messages and greeted Caroline at the door.

"Caroline thanks for getting here on such short notice!" He said extending his arms to greet her.

Caroline nodded knowingly since Shane had briefly filled her in on what had transpired but had left out exactly what had caused Kimberly to have a flashback. She looked pained by the news as any mother would be but also because Caroline still felt the sting of regret; having not been more aware of the special attention Uncle Eric showered on her daughter when she was younger. Shane gave Caroline a hug and hurried out the door to get to his first appointment and Caroline walked up the stairs and into Kim's room so that she would be there when Kimberly woke up.

Location: Bo and Hope's House

Shane tried to mask his fatigue as Hope flung open the door with baby Ciara on her right hip. The infant was trying to get her mother's attention by putting her hands on Hope's mouth and the display elicited a faint smile from Shane.

"Shane, come on in!" She gestured and adding, "You look rough! Did you get any sleep last night?"

When Shane shook his head "no," Hope arched her eyebrow but Shane cut her off, glanced up the stairway to his left and asked,

"Is Bo up yet?"

Shane walked into the living room as Hope followed along.

"Actually, he's already left. He rushed over to Kay's after…." Shane was nodding his head as Hope spoke and interrupted,

"I received Kayla's message about it." He said gravely. Shane was not surprised by Steve's outburst but was also quite alarmed by it as well.

"Look, Hope; did Kayla say exactly what Steve said, before he tore off in such a hurry?"

"No, Shane, she didn't but Kayla was pretty upset. I tried to get her to come over here, given her condition but Kayla insisted on staying there in case Steve showed up. Stephanie is with her now." Hope placed little Ciara in her playpen by the couch and asked,

"There is more to this, isn't there?"

Shane had been gazing at the pictures that lined the mantle of the fireplace absentmindedly. Hope's question startled him a little because of her tone. Shane turned around to face her and could see that Hope had that "don't patronize me" look she was so famous for.

"Possibly..." Shane replied in a professional tone. Hope briefly surveyed Shane's appearance. Despite outwardly looking freshly showered and put together in his usual attire: neatly pressed pants, a blue men's collared dress shirt and still wearing his overcoat, Shane looked haggard. Hope's investigative look did not escape Shane. He gave her a pleading look not to pursue anymore questions regarding Steve, so Hope conceded.

"Would you like some coffee while you wait for Bo?" She asked while walking into the kitchen. Shane took off his coat, laid it on the couch and followed her. They prepared their cups in silence and returned to the breakfast area that was just off to the far corner of the living room so Hope could keep her eye on the baby. Shane was sure he had dodged the bullet as he held his mug in his hands and took a nice sip of the brew. As he felt the hot liquid slide down his throat, Shane settled into his chair, feeling more relaxed and looked up in time to see Hope stare straight at him asking,

"So what is wrong between you and Kimberly?"

Normally a question like that would have sent Shane into professional mode and he could diffuse it with a vague response. But he was stuck between telling Hope something about the case with Steve or discussing Kim. Neither one was an avenue Shane wanted to venture down. One could not diffuse his tenacious sister-in-law when she was on a mission and one look at Hope told Shane that she meant business! Shane stared at his coffee and took a deep breath.

"I'm afraid that the issues Kim and I have are not going to be resolved." He said in a defeated tone. Hope rose up in her chair, looking indignant and replied,

"What are you talking about Shane Donovan? It is clear to everyone how much you two love each other. What happened in the past can be worked out. Just look at Bo and I?" She said motioning towards a sleeping Ciara. Shane's eyes looked hollow, no emotion coming from them. It was a look that Hope had never seen from Shane; far worse than the way he looked when he and Kim had been apart right before the birth of Andrew. Hope came over to Shane and knelt before her friend, placing her hands into his.

"What happened last night?" Hope asked quietly.

Shane looked into Hope's attentive eyes, took a breath and for a brief moment started to elaborate. Instead he stood up and walked back into the living room and look over at Ciara sleeping peacefully in her playpen. Shane had the look of a man full of regret. He had missed out on most of Jeannie's first year. If it were not for Kim's illness, Shane would have completely missed his daughter's babyhood. Being honest with himself, Shane had not been around as much as he should have been because of his job in the years since, for both of his children. Watching Ciara; knowing the drama that surrounded Ciara's conception through her arrival into this world, Shane could see the contrast of Bo and Hope's handling of their problems as opposed to his own. Patrick Lockhart had been a nasty thorn in their marriage but also for the ISA since he had been working for the Dimeras as well. There were only a handful of people that knew where the double agent actually ended up and sadly Shane was one of them. Bo had his flaws but the intensity that the man showed for salvaging his marriage earned him the utmost respect in Shane's eyes. It was the only area in Shane's life that he had failed miserably at. Kim was right when she blamed Shane for not fighting for their marriage and now as Shane stood in the Bo's living room facing the evidence of a happy family, Shane knew his opinion of a future with Kimberly was well substantiated.

Hope could see that Shane had drifted to another place in time and so Hope raised herself into standing position, walked over to where Shane stood and folded her arms across her chest. Casting her eyes towards her daughter, then back at Shane;

"You can't keep beating yourself up for things that happened almost two decades ago. You and Jeannie are as close as ever." Hope said compassionately placing her hand on Shane's arm. She paused to see if Shane would meet her gaze and when he did, Hope added, "Shane, whatever it is, it still doesn't change the fact that you have always been the best person for Kimberly….and she for you." Shane laughed bitterly and replied,

"Oh, I agree with you Hope! Kimberly Brady is the best thing that could have ever happened to me…and I'm not referring to just our children though they have been a source of incredible joy for me."

Shane turned away from Hope briefly and walked to the fireplace. Placing his arm along the mantle so that he could view the pictures and still carry a conversation with Hope, he asked,

"Do you remember what I was like when we first met?"

Hope grinned and walked over to where Shane was standing. Balling her right fist up and giving Shane a playful punch on the arm, Hope replied teasingly,

"Oh, Shane the Butler? I remember that guy. A real pretentious pain in the…"

"Eh, watch it!" Shane said with a chuckle, remembering what he had observed during his time as Hope and Larry's butler. Hope always knew how to lift his spirits. But Hope could not distract Shane from his melancholy mood this time. He continued his line of thought as he gazed at an old picture of the four original Brady children.

"Hope, I was dead inside. I was totally engrossed with my work. It was my life because I had nothing else at that point. I had lied to myself that it was all I needed until I arrived in Salem. Then everything changed. I saw the closeness and the camaraderie that you Hortons share."

Looking back at Hope, Shane chuckled, "You and Alice were a piece of work in New Orleans!"

Hope winked and shrugged her shoulders in an exaggerated motion indicating the pride she still felt in remembering the adventure. Shane dropped his head for a moment and then lifted it up to see Hope still listening, smiling at the memory.

"And then you met Kimberly." She said her eyes twinkling.

"Well it wasn't that simple. I had known Roman for years but always through telecommunications. There was many a long night while debriefing our case against the Dimeras when we would tell stories to lighten the mood. Having recently lost Emma and my parents, I guess I lived vicariously through Roman's stories of his family. But I still remained pretty unaffected by my assignment to spy on Kimberly. I was amused that Count Dimera seemed to be able to charm everyone in Salem but not Kimberly! Yet, I viewed her as merely a body to observe while keeping her safe from Stefano. That is until…"

Shane's words drifted off as he looked back at the fireplace, remembering the image through the telescope of the pretty blond shaking, sobbing over something obviously traumatic. It caused his mind to run smack into the events from the night before and he abruptly looked up, snapping himself out of the moment. Looking anywhere but straight at Hope, who was waiting expectantly for him to finish his trip down memory lane, Shane said:

"No, I'm afraid that I might have done Kimberly more harm than good."

"That's not true and you know it, Shane!" Hope retorted immediately.

Lunging over to pick up his coat that was still on the arm of the couch where he had left it just an hour earlier, Shane said hurriedly,

"Look, have Bo call me or come over by the house this afternoon…and I need to know immediately when they find Johnson!"

Hope was following close behind Shane to walk him out.

"Shane, I don't feel like I have helped you. Maybe you should talk to someone who can help you sort this out in a professional setting?" She said in a worried tone. Shane nodded affirmatively that he understood the implication but brushed it off by giving Hope a big hug and saying,

"You are a good woman, Hope Williams Brady!"

As they parted, Hope patted his cheek,

"Ah, you're a good man, Shane Donovan. I know it and Kimberly knows it." She said winking affectionately. Shane shook his head thinking a thought that must have ran through his head a thousand times since knowing her. "The woman never gave up!"

As Shane walked out the door and turned away, Hope called back,

"Shane…did the ISA have any idea that Steve was alive after all these years?"

Shane stopped short. He only turned his head over his left shoulder and said,

"No, but I wished they had."

He threw his hand up in a feeble attempt to wave good-bye to Hope. Hope stood on the porch perplexed by his answer and waved back. Sliding into his car, Shane pulled out his phone, dialed a number and when someone on the other end picked up, asked "Hey, it's Shane. Do you have a few minutes?"

Location: Salem University Hospital

Shane was already ten minutes late for his appointment as he rushed off the elevator and down the hall to the office three doors down on the left. The display perked the interest of Andre, who had his own interests for being present at Salem University Hospital. Taking a momentary break from his first commitment, Andre followed Donovan down the hall until he observed him enter the office of Dr. Marlena Evans Black.

"It's about time that Donovan had his head checked." Andre mused to himself. Like a snake, Andre slinked up the hall and close to the door as it shut to investigate if he could get any information as to the pretext of Donovan's visit.

"Hello, Marlena. Thank you for seeing me on short notice." Shane said as he greeted her. They exchanged pleasantries as Marlena motioned for him to sit. Reaching her desk and taking her seat, Marlena leaned forward and over her desk and asked,

"Is this a professional visit or a personal one?"

"I'm afraid maybe a little bit of both." Shane replied wryly as he made himself comfortable in the chair. Marlena smiled and asked, "I see….may this involve Kimberly?"

"Is it that obvious?" Shane asked slightly embarrassed and affirming Marlena's suspicions.

"I think she is the only person that can rattle an otherwise controlled and sensible individual like you." Marlena responded as the corners of her mouth turned up into an amused grin. Observing Shane's haphazard appearance, she added, "Why don't you start at the beginning?"

Shane recounted everything to Marlena, playing down the nightmare he had and omitting Kim's inquiry about the files that subsequently led to the confrontation. Marlena listened intently, nodding her head and saying, "I see," at the appropriate times until finally Shane looked up and asked miserably, " How did I become just another 'Eric' for Kimberly?"

Marlena thought for a moment, processing the events as Shane had retold them and responded by saying, "It hurt you to see and hear those words come out of her mouth?" Shane had gotten up from the chair and walked over to fix a drink of water by this time. He stood there drumming his fingers against the glass, staring off into space as Marlena asked the question. Nodding his head 'yes,' he replied,

"That was such a confusing time for all of us." Shane said slowly, without looking at Marlena and continuing, "So much was said and done out of anger and there is no excuse for it." Marlena started to interject but Shane was lost in thought. He continued to speak without any thought as to whether Marlena could hear what he was saying.

"Anger is an interesting emotion, Marlena." Shane said in a somber monotone.

"How so?" Marlena replied evenly.

Shane stood motionless, staring down at the half empty glass, watching the bits of ice slowly melt in the glass of water.

"For starters, it is one hell of a shield against dealing with the ugly truth about one's self." He said plainly.

"And what is the ugly truth that you associate with yourself, Shane?" Marlena questioned as she pulled the information out of him. Snapping out of his private little hell, Shane looked at Marlena straight in the eyes.

"Marlena, I failed Kimberly from almost the beginning. I put her in a situation, against my better judgment, which left her completely vulnerable to being used. And when things did not materialize like they do in fairytales, I blamed Kimberly for it. Marlena, I put my life on the line everyday for total strangers…hell, I protect other people's loved ones but the one person I love more than my own life, and I cast off to the wolves!" Shane said, thrusting his arm forward for effect and slumping against the sideboard where the tray of ice water sat. With his head hung low, Shane concluded in almost a whisper,

"In the end, I blamed Kimberly for seeking something that I denied her."

Marlena crossed her arms and stated simply, "That is the trouble with anger: it seduces you like a drug, motivating you to take action, filtering out the pain, but left unchecked, anger destroys the ones you love the most, leaving you broken and alone in the end." A smirk escaped Shane's otherwise blank expression as he responded, "How prophetic, Marlena!" And before she could answer, something snapped in Shane, and he exclaimed passionately,

"I never meant a word of it and I guess for most of these past fifteen years I accepted my fate and consigned myself to just this bloody job" He ended the statement in disgust taking a big gulp of the water and casting the glass aside onto the sideboard next to him.

"But now that you have been close to Kimberly these past six months, you don't think you can do it?" Marlena asked, completing the thought that Shane refused to vocalize.

There was a moment of silence that followed and Shane walked across the room and towards the window. He looked at the trees that were starting to show the early signs of blooming. As long as the weather continued its steady trend towards warmer weather, the trees would bloom and result in beautiful flowers and eventually lush, green leaves. However, if Salem were struck with just one harsh freeze in the next six weeks until May, the blooms would be damaged and the tree would be robbed of its beauty. Oh, the tree may survive but the richness it provides would be lost for another season. Shane sighed and thought the image a metaphor to his and Kim's budding relationship. And Shane knew the different forms the frost could take as it applied to their relationship. Finally, without leaving the protection of the window ledge, Shane looked at Marlena and asked,

"I would like to have the chance again to love Kimberly the way she needs to be loved…if she will let me." He said almost as if asking Marlena permission.

Still seated at her desk, Marlena remained professional and replied,

"Kimberly put her heart and soul into your hands…" Marlena said, motioning to Shane. "She believed you when you said that her past did not matter and that your love was unconditional. Your actions…and I am not passing judgments here, but Shane your words and actions right after your divorce only confirmed to Kimberly that your love contained conditions, conditions that she could not meet. So whether, you meant it or not, those words were very powerful. Combine that with your choice of pursuing that endeavor with Kayla and you compounded the problem by introducing all the issues that go along with siblings." Shane winced at the last part of the explanation but was nodding his head in agreement as Marlena continued,

"I imagine that last night was pretty upsetting for Kimberly and placed her, once again, in a vulnerable place in regards to you. If your intentions are to give Kimberly what she needs then you need to be prepared to accept that Kimberly may pull away for the moment. You need to show her that last night did not change anything as it pertains to your love. She is waiting to see if you are going to run…both figuratively and literally." Marlena paused before going further but Shane encouraged her by saying,

"Please, finish your thoughts Marlena."

So she continued saying,

"And I don't mean to make light of the situation, Shane but by what you have told me, you are not starting on the right foot this morning. You are confirming her fears since you were not there when she woke up."

Shane rose up and started to protest but Marlena waved him back,

"I know that was not your intent but I would not be a good friend if I did not caution you."

"Thank you, Marlena. I appreciate your candidness but I need to cut this short. I have to find Kimberly." Shane said resolutely. Marlena walked around to escort Shane out and put her hand on his back.

"I have complete faith in you, Shane." Marlena turned to face Shane as she opened the door. Neither one noticed Andre slink back down the hall as Marlena added. "I'm surprised it has taken this long for you to do something about it."

Shane tried to laugh it off by replying half-heartedly, "Collateral damage from the job, I guess." Marlena looked amused but slightly confused by the remark as Shane exited. Consumed by his talk with Marlena, Shane nearly collided into an expecting Andre as he entered the elevator.

"Hello, Donovan!" Andre said crisply. Startled for only a moment as Shane looked up at his opponent, as the elevator doors closed.

"Visiting your friends in the morgue, are we, Andre?" Shane asked patronizingly. Feeling quite confident after the conversation he had just overheard, Andre replied cryptically,

"Oh, you'd be surprised, Donovan. You would be surprised."

Shane noted the display and red flags were rising up all around but at the moment he was preoccupied. As the doors opened to the ground floor, Shane leaned in and whispered,

"Back off, Andre…I know how to deliver you right into the hands of your enemies." For a moment the two stood still with menacing stares, until Shane broke off and walked briskly towards his car. Andre slowly stepped out of the elevator and pulled a cigarette out of his jacket pocket, lit it and held it to his lips. Taking a quick puff, and chuckling at the thought, Andre said out loud but mostly to himself,

"That's what I'm hoping for mate!"

Location: Shane's House

Kimberly wasted no time in calling her therapist from LA first thing that morning when she woke up. Afraid that she would cause more worry from her mother, Kimberly simply brushed off her mother's questions and asked for some hot tea. While Caroline was downstairs, Kimberly hastily made the phone call and felt a little better knowing that she was setting the wheels in motion to get herself back on track. Kim had been wrestling with emotions of being back in Salem since her father died and last night was a slap into reality that Kim knew she needed. She could not push back the ghosts of Salem any longer if Kim had any intentions of moving forward. When Caroline returned, Kim had managed to dress for the day and was sitting on the bed with her cell phone still in hand. Kim sensed that something else was bothering her mother which gave Kim an out in discussing herself at any length.

"Momma, what's bothering you?" She asked as she sipped the tea. Caroline told Kim what happened with Steve the night before; how he had awoke in the middle of the night, waking Kayla in the process; muttering things under his breath. When Kayla tried to touch him, Steve pulled back and went into a violent rage, resulting in him leaving the house. Kayla had not seen or heard from him since. When Caroline finished, Kim was already using her cane to maneuver around the room to grab her things. Looking at Caroline, she asked, "Will you take me to Kay's?"

Thirty minutes later, Kimberly rang the doorbell and when Kayla opened the door, the serious looks on the sisters' faces vanished immediately and they squealed in unison,

"Look at you!" Each one pointing at the others change: Kim placing her hand on Kayla's protruding tummy and Kayla pointing out the cane in Kim's right hand. They exchanged warm hugs as Caroline watched with pride and then Kayla quickly ushered the women into house. Stephanie was cleaning up the last remaining dishes from breakfast; a meal her mother barely touched and was taking them to the kitchen. When she returned and saw Kim, Stephanie ran over to give her a hug.

"Aunt Kim, it's so good to see you!" She said her voice full of love for her aunt as Stephanie wrapped her arms around Kim. The two had been quite close out in LA. In typical adolescent fashion, Stephanie had found her aunt Kim "cool" and more aware than her mother and felt more at ease confiding in Kim about boys. Stephanie had not reached the age yet where she could appreciate the philosophy behind her mother's strict rules and appreciate the hard work it took to raise the spirited daughter of Steve Johnson. The irony was that Kim incorporated the same ones with Stephanie's cousins but that was irrelevant. Kim looked at her niece and wished she would have this kind of relationship again with Jeannie one day. Unbeknownst to Kim, Jeannie had done some amateur snooping a few years back and discovered that her mother had been the one to initiate the divorce but the actual documents were sealed. With only that information to go on and the observations she made between her two parents, Jeannie concluded erroneously that her mother just didn't want to be married to her father. Jeannie harbored resentment towards Kim because of her divorce from Shane. Kim had long suspected the divorce was the reason behind her daughter's seething hostility towards her but wasn't quite sure how to handle it. It was more important to Kim that Jeannie retain the closeness she had with Shane. As a result, Jeannie was much closer with Kayla since entering her teens and the two sisters were grateful to have each others help in dealing with the two young women. But when Kayla returned to Salem, things deteriorated quickly between mother and daughter. Kim pulled herself out of her semi-trance and focused her attention back onto Kayla. Stephanie quickly surmised that this was not a social visit so she abruptly asked Caroline, "Grandma, do you need some help at the Pub?" Caroline took the cue, smiled and replied,

"When it's one of my grandchildren, I can always use the company, even if I don't need the help. Kimmie, are you going to be ok?" She asked in a concern tone that did not escape Kayla, who looked at Kim with a questioning look on her face. Waving off Kayla's look and smiling big, Kim replied,

"I'm fine. Now go on you two! She said winking at them. It was a lie that had only fooled one person in the room and that was Stephanie but Caroline knew better than to push.

"I'll take Kimmie home, momma." Kayla offered and so the two left leaving Kim and Kayla to talk.

Once Kim and Kayla were left alone, the two moved towards the couch to sit and Kim surveyed her sister's appearance.

"Are you ok?" Kim asked reassuringly. Kayla shrugged her shoulders and Kim asked to hear what had happened.

"Well, obviously last night was much worse than what has been happening recently." Kayla began. Kim was nodding in acknowledgement.

"Everything was normal last night. We sat on the couch, feeling the baby move…" The memory caused Kayla to smile briefly and pat her stomach.

"Then, the phone rang and when Steve answered it, I saw all the color drain from his face and his expression went blank! I got up from the couch, took the phone from his hand but when I held it to my ear, no one was on the other end." Kayla's eyes were starting to tear up and her voice was starting to shake. Instinctively, Kimberly moved closer to her sister and put her left arm around Kayla's shoulders.

"Shhh, take it easy; one step at a time." Kim said soothingly. "Then what happened?"

Kayla continued, "I called out his name and in an instant, he was fine." Kayla leaned back and looked at Kimberly. Before, Kim could interject, Kayla said,

"And I did suggest, again, that Steve seek a trauma specialist but he refused. Kim, he was adamant about it so I dropped the subject." Kim couldn't help but think that all the Brady's could benefit from the expertise of one given the history they had with the Dimeras alone! Knowing there was more to this than what Kayla was telling her, Kim asked pointedly, "Kay, what happened later?" Kayla looked nervous and rose from the couch. With her back turned away from Kimberly, she continued;

"I woke up just after midnight with Steve thrashing around in the bed. He was cursing and calling out for someone to not leave him. I think he was reliving something that occurred between the times of his 'death' in Salem and before he was left in Cincinnati…" Kayla stopped short and turned around to face Kim who had used her cane to reach standing position. Kayla's eyes were brimming with tears.

"What Kay? You can tell me." Kimberly said as she reached out for her sister. Kayla's demeanor changed and Kayla stiffened up as she blurted out angrily,

"The person he was calling for was Shane!"