UNTIL THE VERY END

I can't breathe without you, but I have to.

It was a rainy, cold day. The wind whipped the branches of the trees around violently. The tapping of wood against the glass of the window woke Lily. She smiled. Harry was rarely awake when she woke nowadays. She found herself remembering almost fondly the nights that she'd had no sleep, the mornings that Harry woke wailing for food or for a diaper change at four in the morning, the nights she'd found so long, fondly. Though she hadn't felt that way at the time, Lily remembered with a smile.

A sense of foreboding welled up in Lily. How many more times would she wake with her family safe and sound? Don't worry about it, Lily, she told herself sternly. Peter would never sell you and James out. He'd die first. All James' friends would.

Lily stood. It was Hallowe'en, and she was excited. She thought of Hallowe'ens to come. Perhaps next year it would be safe to take Harry out to the people's houses. Perhaps next year he would actually be old enough to go. Perhaps by next year You Know Who would have fallen... Perhaps... perhaps...

Lily broke off her train of thought, hearing Harry whimper from the nursery down the hall. It was a sort of morning ritual for Harry; he would wake, and whimper for food, and then Lily would breeze down the hall and pick him up and feed him, all before James awoke at eight.

But this morning James came downstairs to join her while she was still feeding Harry. She was glad. She felt as though someone was watching her, felt as though eyes were boring into her back. She wanted James to be with her. She felt like she wouldn't see him again. She was reluctant to take her eyes off of him for fear that she would never see his face again.

The day passed by too quickly for Lily. Before she knew it, it was evening. What little light the day had had was fading fast by dinnertime, and the clouds, which had briefly cleared during the day, had come back to slide over the watery sun once more.

Lily watched fondly as James produced green bubbles from his wand, the result of which was the gurgly laughter of the smiling baby on the carpeted floor beneath him. Lily smiled and leaned her head on James' shoulder as he proudly watched his son, who was trying desperately to grab hold of one of the bubbles, only to pop it loudly. Smiling, James changed the bubbles into multicoloured smoke. He may have complained about being bored stiff without being able to use to Cloak to go out, but she knew that entertaining Harry entertained James.

For a moment, everything was perfect.

Late that night, Lily took Harry upstairs and laid him to sleep. Harry slept easy that night; there were no protests. Lily was thankful; she was tired and she wanted to sleep as well. She headed back downstairs and sat back down beside James.

There was a loud pop from outside. In a heartbeat, James was at the window, and when he turned around, his face scared Lily to the very core of her being, and none of the fear was for herself. It was all for her son and the man in front of her. She knew. He didn't have to say a thing, Lily knew. They'd been betrayed. Voldemort was here.

She knew.

James' heart felt as though it would beat itself out of his chest. Voldemort was walking up the block, he was four houses away-! "Lily," he said frantically, "Lily, go get Harry, take Harry and run, I'll hold him off-,"

"James!" Lily's voice was scared and scandalized. She would not let him face Voldemort alone. She couldn't.

But Harry... "I'm with you," she said, her heart breaking. "Until the end."

"Lily, GO! I can't lose you, run!"

Lily ran upstairs. She would not be with him.

Voldemort was just outside, he had raised his wand. James tried to go over every detail of the night in case he didn't live to see another. Making dinner, kissing Lily, playing with his son, conjuring bubbles from his wand in the living room, and then seeing Voldemort and dropping his wand to the floor with a clatter—

His wand was in the living room.

A stab of fear such that James had never known shot through his being. His wand was in the living room. Voldemort would kill him like a chicken for slaughter, and he wouldn't be able to give Lily and Harry enough time to get out. He considered running into the living room, but there wasn't time, Voldemort was screaming an incantation and the door had been blasted apart.

The force of it threw James backwards a few feet. Voldemort laughed cruelly as he saw James, and James knew that this was it. He had only a few more seconds—he had to make them count, contribute to the time that his wife and his son had to get away. He launched himself at Voldemort, thinking he might get there in time to wrench away his wand, but the flash of green light met him in mid-air and threw him backwards. James felt a violent, painless jerk through his heart—and then everything was gone.

Lily was in the nursery, trying to pick up her son without waking him when she heard the sharp, loud words, "AVADA KEDAVRA," echo through the house. It felt as though everything she was had shattered, she could imagine James' body, lying, limp and lifeless. Her soul seemed to crumble within her, and if it hadn't been for her son Lily would have lay down on the floor and waited to die.

But she couldn't.

She heard Voldemort walking up the stairs when she realized the flaw in James' plan. If Voldemort got upstairs before she got down, he would be between her and their only way out. She was doomed.

But she wouldn't go down without a fight. Replacing Harry in his crib, now wailing loudly for fear, Lily turned her back on her son and stood firmly between the crib and the bedroom door. She reached for her wand before remembering that she'd left it downstairs. She swore.

Voldemort opened the nursery door. Lily was crying, nearly in hysterics. "Stand aside, girl," the cold voice said, its wand raised. Lily shook her head, screaming,

"No, please, no, I won't, I won't, don't take Harry, please, not Harry, take me, kill me instead—" she was begging, but she would not bend down, would not kneel in front of this man, this abomination who had killed her James.

"Stand aside, you stupid girl, save yourself!" Voldemort screeched the last word, appalled, Lily realized, that anyone could have the option to run and not take it. But Voldemort, Lily knew, didn't have a family.

"Please, please, have mercy, please, don't kill Harry, kill me, kill me instead, please, I'll do anything..." her voice was growing hoarse but she would not be quiet, not now, she would not let him kill Harry, he would not pass her.

She would not back down. "This is my last warning," Voldemort said. He was becoming angry, Lily saw. Her senses seemed to slow everything down, and she had time to look back at Harry. She did not want Lord Voldemort to be the last face she saw.

"No, please, take me." Lily swallowed. He would take her up on her offer this time, she knew he would. She filled her mind with thoughts of James and Harry and Mary and Sirius and everything she knew and loved.

And then Lily Potter knew no more.