Chapter Fourteen- He Who Cast the First Pie
"Hey."
"Ya talkin' ta me?"
"Who else would I be talkin' ta, big fella?"
"What do ya want?"
"I wanted ta tell ya somethin' I heard 'bout them Nicelanders ya live with."
"W-what do ya know about them?"
"What I KNOW is that some of 'em been cookin' up some plans on what ta do with ya…."
"Plans? What do ya mean PLANS?"
"What I mean is, I heard they wanted ta kick ya out of tha apartments!"
"N-Now who said THAT?"
"I can't remember which one. They all look da same ta me, tha lil chunkers."
"Listen here, pal. As much as I….APPRECIATE the 'info' that ya have, if there's no source to it, why should I believe it?"
"Because I wouldn't put it past 'em pal." "What do ya mean?"
"I mean, lil NPCs like that? Thinkin' that they run this game? Ya should put 'em in their place. Ya should show 'em that as bad guy, ya still out-rank 'em. Ya better than 'em. They should be waitin' on ya hand an' foot!"
"Um, that's not how we do things in our game…."
"Boy oh, boy. Ya new comers here sure know NOTHIN' bout tha way things go around here!"
"Uh, I still don't get ya….."
"Listen here, Wreck-It. There's a chain of command. We have the good guys, people like me, who are on top. Then we have people like ya, tha bad guys. Ya kinda act as second in command. Then there are da mini-bosses an' after that come those that need rescuin'. Without US, tha game wouldn't play!"
"Uh."
"An' then we have NPCs….NPCs like da Nicelanders. They're bottom. They're nothin'. We could run a game without 'em because they don't register a BLIP. An' yet, ya feel as if ya can actually share tha same SPACE with 'em?"
"Really, man. I don't know where ya got this idea from but it sounds like a lot of rotten code ta me."
"Trust me, Wreck-It. You'll see how things REALLY are with those lot. An' when ya do, ya won't have anyone ta cry 'bout 'em since ya didn't take MY advice an' show 'em how worthless they really are!"
"They look like babies…." Calhoun whispered to Felix "They look like chubby little babies with adult clothin' an' fake mustaches."
"Heh, guess our designer thought it was funny…." Snickered Felix as he pulled his love away "Just let 'em sleep though. They've been through enough."
"Mmmm, what?"
"Uh-oh…." Felix said as he ducked down a bit "Shhh!"
Mary stirred a bit, the blanket of sleep starting to come off of her. She looked around for a moment or two, realizing that she wasn't in her little apartment. She blinked, trying to get a better view of her surroundings.
"W-where am-?"
"Ms. Mary?"
The woman let out a little squeak as she looked up, seeing Calhoun peering down at her with a smile on her face. The little baker in pink moved back a bit but stopped once her hand fell upon something soft.
"OOF!"
With another turn, Mary saw that her hand had landed upon Gene's chubby cheeks, the little mayor still out like a light and mumbling to himself in his sleep.
"Nnnugh. But I wanted the purple pony, mommy!"
Mary soon realized that in the commotion that had happened the night before, both she and Gene had fallen asleep in Calhoun's bunk. She blushed a bit as she looked up once more at Calhoun and Felix, reaching down for Gene and pulling him slightly.
"I am so, SO sorry, dears!"
"There's nothing to be sorry about." The marine said "I'm just glad that ya two seem to be doing better!"
The baker said nothing as she continued to look down at the floor "B-Believe me, what we did last night. I feel nothing but shame!"
"Ms. Mary, don't do this…." Felix sighed "Look, while I'm upset that ya guys didn't come ta me with this problem BEFORE an' went on strike, I can…."
The man paused, running a hand through his hair. He had so much to deal with at the moment but he knew that for the good of his neighbors, he had to find a way to make it better. He looked at Mary and placed a hand under her chin, raising her head up.
"Mary, I'm not mad at you."
The woman blushed, her eyes filling back up with her familiar brightness and warmth.
"You're not?"
"No. I can understand why both ya an' Ralph have been so upset over the years now…an' after all of this? I think its high times I step up an' do somethin' about it."
"Please, I don't want you getting into trouble for us, young man!" Mary said, feeling a bit worried about what could happen to the repairman. Felix only smiled, reaching for his cap and placing it upon his head proudly.
"Ma'am. Ya know it's my job ta fix things an' if this is somethin' that doesn't need fixin', I don't know what is!"
And with that, Felix strolled from the room, both Calhoun and Mary watching. Once the man was out of the room, Mary leaned back on the couch, a hand placed on her head.
"That boy…."
"Hehe, I don't know how he does it but he can really make a downer situation better, can't he?"
"Yes…." nodded Mary, though she still seemed worried "Yes he can. But at this point, I'm afraid that with the way things have turned in this arcade, standing up for US might be detrimental to his image."
"Hey, if anyone so much as tries to lay a hand on him OR you-!" Calhoun smirked, flexing her arm "They'll have ME ta talk to!"
"Please, I don't want any more violence!" Mary said, shaking her head "We've gone through so much over the past few years and where has it gotten us?"
"Nowhere….."
Both women looked back, looking over at Gene who seemed to be going through a bit of a nightmare of his own, the little man moaning in his sleep as he curled even tighter into a ball.
"Gene?"
"No! No! It wasn't like that! I swear!"
Mary and Calhoun exchanged glances again, the two stepping over to the mayor ever so carefully.
"Does he always do this?"
"Just when his dreams get REALLY deep…." Mary said. She moved closer, shaking Gene on his arm "Dear? Dear?"
"S-stop. I'm sorry, Ralph!"
The baker shook Gene a little harder "Dear?"
"But Turbo said-! He told us-! He hit-!"
"He hit WHO?" Calhoun scowled, not noticing Mary slightly turning away. The little woman knew it was best to get Gene up and without thinking twice, she raised a fist and brought it down rather roughly on his side.
"Dear, wake up!"
"NYAAAAAGH!" Gene screamed at the top of his lungs, shooting up and looking and franticly "OH PROGRAMMERS! DON'T TELL ME YOU'RE LOCKING US UP NOW!"
"Hey, hey! Calm down, mayor!" Calhoun said placing hands on the tiny man's shoulders "You two just conked out here. It's okay!"
"HERE?"
Gene looked around, finally realizing that he had indeed fallen asleep in Hero's Duty but what was more, he had fallen asleep with Mary by his side.
The two women had NEVER seen a man blush more bright than Gene at the moment but he knew that he had spent too much time away from home. He stumbled from the couch, falling right on his face and twisting his suit even more out of place.
"Dear!"
"N-No time!" Gene panted, walking as quickly as he could towards the door "I-I have to get back before-!"
"But wait! Felix already-!"
The doors closed with a loud BANG as Gene continued to dash from the game, leaving both Mary and Calhoun alone. Once more, the two looked at each other and sighed.
"We should follow?" asked Mary.
"Yup…." Calhoun nodded as she got up "Wouldn't want anything to get messy now would we?"
It wasn't as if Calhoun would have been incapable of catching up with Gene at the moment, not with how 'fast' a Nicelander ran. The arcade was packed with people as usual but Gene was trying his darndest to get back to his home while avoiding being stepped on from underfoot.
"Excuse me! EXCUSE ME!" the man cried, getting more aggravated by the second "Just MOVE, okay?!"
"Hey, isn't that one of the Nicelanders?" asked Dig-Dug, sharing a cup of tea with a little fairy.
"I wonder what he's in a hurry for?"
"Huh, musta got word of what happened earlier in the lobby!"
Gene stopped in his tracks, a chill running up his spine.
"E-earlier?!"
"Man, you should have seen the way Ralph handled that lil lady! I couldn't believe it!"
"W-wait! What are they-?!"
"I didn't think a Nicelander could run that fast but then she ran into-!"
"H-Hold on here!" stammered Gene, trying to force his way towards the two "What are you-?! BWOOF!"
Before Gene even had a chance to move, he felt the wind getting knocked out of him, the poor man stepping RIGHT into the path of a large character who inadvertently kneed the Nicelander in the stomach as they were making their way through the halls. The character, a woman dressed in what looked to be medieval armor, gasped as she saw the little man curled up on the ground, holding his stomach and gasping for air.
"Oh goodness!" the woman said, reaching down and rolling Gene on his back "Are you okay lil guy?"
Gene tried to scowl but was far too busy taking in air to muster the face. He forced himself on his face, literally crawling and inching his way back to Niceland.
"I-I-I'm NOT LITTLE!"
Perhaps for his own good, not too many people noticed the tiny man crawling his way to Fix-it-Felix Jr. but from the shadows of the arcade, several sets of eyes did.
"Hey, it's one of those Chubbylanders!" said a voice.
"Wonder what happened to him. Looks like someone plowed into him at forty miles an hour!"
"Hehe, perfect timin'!" said another voice "I've been waitin' ta get my hits on a few Nicelanders today!"
"Hold up! Did ya hear what Ralph did this morning ta the guys from Creeper Castle?!"
"No, what?"
"Sent 'em all cryin' back to the game for messin' with one of those butter-balls! Do ya really think NOW of all times would be a good chance ta mess with 'em, if EVER?!"
The first figured rubbed its chin, looking back at Gene as the chubby man crawled his way into the cart, falling in with a flop as the cart took off.
This was easy, much too easy.
After everything that had happened that week, the character wasn't about to miss out their chance on getting some 'just desserts' on the Nicelanders and they didn't care if Ralph had gone off on another character.
If that was such a problem, that only meant that the group would have to be a bit stealthier in their operations.
"Guys….c'mon." the ringleader said "I know we can get one in past tha big mook! Those Nicelanders will never know what hit 'em!"
"So that's what happened!" said Meg, wringing her hands in worry "If I had been there a minuet longer, I would have been a FLATTENED Nicelander!"
"Oh, that's TERRIBLE!" said Don, the sailor looking rather upset "Those brutes! Daring to put their hands on a lady like you!"
Meg blushed at Don's words but she knew better than to get caught up in her own infatuation with the older Nicelander, instead turning her view to both Ralph and Vanellope.
"I-it was okay guys. Ralph came through and made sure they didn't harm me!"
"Aw man, great work!" said Norwood, giving the wrecker a thumbs up and a wink "Makes me wish I cudda been there ta see it!"
"No, ya wouldn't have Mr. Norwood…." Said Vanellope with a heavy sigh, putting her hands in her pockets "It….its kinda my fault."
"Yes, I heard…." said Felix as he walked up to his friend "I hafta say, I'm a lil surprised that ya were tha one who said those things, young lady."
"I know, I know…." The girl moaned, shaking her head "It was stupid of me okay! I should have never jumped ta conclusions like that!"
"What are you talking about, young lady?" said Roy, looking even more worried than the racer.
Vanellope looked at all the Nicelanders, the guilt of everything that she had more or less caused finally coming crashing down on her. While she knew she had been wary of the bunch earlier when Ralph had told her his story, seeing them now, all looking so worried from a mess that she had caused really began to sting.
She had never wanted things to get this out of hand but as she and Ralph had found out, even the best intentions could grow into something horrible.
And as painful as it was, Vanellope knew she had to confess what she had done to the others.
And hope that they would forgive her just like Ralph had forgiven them.
"Guys….I-!"
"*COUGH! COUGH!* Raaaa*COUGH!* AAAAALP!"
The sound of such a terrible voice caused Vanellope to jump and glitch, the girl turning back to see Gene staggering from the trolley cart and land face first on the ground.
"Gene?" Felix gasped, running over to the man "What in tha arcade happened ta ya?!"
Gene held out a hand as he rose to his feet, taking in a few deep breaths.
"RALPH."
"Er, what about me?"
"W-what did you DO?!" the Nicelander scowled, rage in his eyes.
Ralph was VERY confused by Gene's anger, "What do ya mean what did I do?!"
"M-Meg!" the man panted, finally pushing himself up "He didn't HURT you did-!?"
"Gene, its okay!" the woman shouted as she ran over to the Mayor, nearly knocking him back on his feet as she plowed into him "Ralph just got some THUGS away from me this morning! Had it not been for him, who knows what could have happened!"
"Wait, WHAT?!" the mayor said, flailing his arms a bit "Stop for a m-minuet and tell me everything! WHO did WHAT to MEG and WHO helped WHO!?"
"It was Ralph!" Vanellope cut in, trying her best not to muddle up things any further "A bunch'a jerks were messin' with Ms. Meggy but Ralph wasn't gonna let that stand! He nearly popped those jerks like a buncha grapes, didn't he!"
"I wouldn't take it THAT far…." Ralph blushed horribly, holding up his hands "I-I was just tryin' ta help out a neighbor, that's all."
"So everyone is okay?" Gene said, his fear steadily going down as he looked at everyone.
"Yup! All things are clean an' accounted for!" Felix smiled, his reassurance rubbing off a bit on the still worried Mayor.
The little mayor still tried to wrap his head around everything that had happened out of his sight but from the looks of everyone else around him, there was a lot for him to be worried about than what he was going off on. Still though, Gene felt as if he had been pulled from every corner of the arcade, his head spinning and light.
"Mr. Mayor?" Vanellope asked, her voice deepening and her face warping as Gene began to hallucinate a bit "Mr. Mayor, are ya okay?"
The little Nicelander had clearly had enough. He let out an exhausted breath and fell on his back on the ground, bouncing a bit as he did so.
"Gene?!" Felix said in worry, the others gathering around their mayor.
Having everyone standing over him didn't ease the situation but at least Gene knew that things couldn't get worse. He just wanted to rest after everything that had happened, the man pressing his hands on his cheeks and squishing them a bit, blinking off as he looked at his neighbors.
"I….I feel a LITTLE better now….."
"Oh, GOOD!" said Ralph, putting a hand to his forehead "Maybe then we can finally clear all of this up and-!"
"HEY!"
Everyone froze at the voice, the sound echoing a bit in the game.
"What was-?!"
"NICELANDERS!"
Ralph and Gene turned, both of them looking off towards the main grove of trees.
"Who the heck is th-?!"
"Ya butter-chunks better DUCK!"
Neither Wrecker or Mayor could have seen what was about to happen next. For all they knew and could see, the voice could have come from a GHOST but out in the distance they saw something.
A flash of red and silver.
Silver?
Like a PIE-TIN?
Somehow, SOMEONE had gotten ahold of one of the pies made by the little group and at that moment it was now being used as ARSENAL, the thing FLYING towards the group at top speed.
But who was it aimed at? Gene or Ralph?
Either way, both men were frozen in place and too stupefied to move but as it inched closer to them, they suddenly knew what was about to happen next.
"OH-!"
"SHOOT!"
"WATCH OUT!" cried a familiar voice, a flash of turquoise and black appearing in front of BOTH men!
And then…..
SPLAT.
Just…SPLAT.