Disclaimer: I own nothing.
vero: It's nice to see a new face. I hope I can continue to amaze you.
malex4ever: I know Marissa's not your fave person at the moment. I'm thinking this chapter won't help that matter either.
Just so you guys know, this story is almost over. Once again, thank you for all your feedback and support.
It had been a little over a week since Alex had seen or heard from Marissa. A week and two days to be exact. She tried calling the girl numerous times and left plenty of voicemails, but they were never returned. With each passing day, passing hour even, Alex felt herself die a little more, felt her heart break even further. She spent her days working and her nights drinking until she passed out. Jodie was by her side through it all. Alex was more than grateful, but all she wanted was Marissa. She'd ask Summer how the lanky girl was doing. Each time the girl would tell her that Marissa seemed fine. She even said the night before that Marissa seemed happier, lighter. Judging by the guilty and apologetic look upon Summer's face, the blonde knew she wasn't meant to know that bit of information. Alex supposed that she was glad the tall brunette was happy, but she couldn't help but feel even worse knowing so.
Looking around her apartment, Alex's mind was invaded with memories of Marissa. Her only solace was that Marissa hadn't moved out yet. She didn't spend the night there anymore, but there was evidence that the girl came by the apartment. Discarded clothes on the floor, different pairs of shoes missing, different school books laying around….it wasn't much, but it was all Alex had to hold on to at the moment.
"Let's go to the beach."
Alex looked up to see Jodie getting up. "I'm not really in the mood."
"Come on Al," urged the Latina, "It's Sunday, your only day off. Let's enjoy it. You've been working too much lately." Ever since the night of the fight the blonde had been working even more, if possible.
"Jodie, I-"
"Look. If we stay here, you're just going to sulk all day. I'm not saying you have to stop doing that. I'm just saying why don't we change the scenery. I mean, you can still sulk at the beach, and I promise not to get on you for it. Okay? Please?" Jodie hated seeing her friend in such a state. She hoped that the beach would be able to lift the blonde's spirit a bit. Maybe it wouldn't. Maybe all Alex would do was indeed just sulk, but it was better than her sulking at home.
Alex thought about rejecting the offer, but then decided to go along with it. Perhaps it'd help. "Okay."
"Great! Grab your surf board too. You know, just in case."
--
The two girls were just sitting on top of their boards in the water. Alex was looking absently to the shore. Jodie was able to get her to do a little surfing, but it did little to take her mind off a certain brunette.
"Maybe I should just go to her school. You know, wait for it to let out and talk to her there."
"Alex…."
"I know, Jodie. I know. I need to talk to her though. I need to see her. If she'd just let me explain-"
"You already did, and she didn't believe you. You can't keep putting yourself through this, Alex. She's not worth it."
"Don't say that!" snapped the blonde. "Just because you don't like her, it doesn't give you the right to trash her."
Jodie sighed inwardly. "I'm not trying to do that. I just….I hate seeing you like this."
The blonde felt herself getting angry. "You think I like being this way! You think I like spending my nights drinking myself into oblivion hoping to ease the pain just a little bit? You think I like waking up every morning only to find that I'm still alone-that she's still not there. Or that I like spending every second of my day hoping she'll come around? Hoping the next person I see is her? Hoping my next phone call is from her?" Jodie stay silent, which only seemed to anger Alex even further. "Well do you? Answer me!"
Jodie turned her gaze away from Alex's. "No. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to imply that. I just….I'm sorry."
Having realized that she just snapped at the one person that's been there for her, Alex instantly felt remorseful. Summer, Seth, Taylor, and even Ryan have been trying to reach out to her to. They'd come to the club, and spend some time with her. They tried to console her, but it did no good. It was Jodie, however that was with her during the nights. She was with Alex when passed out. She's the one dragged her to bed. She's the one that's still here. Lately, the others haven't been coming around. Taylor still did somewhat, but Alex could tell that the brunette felt out of place with her. She reached out and took Jodie's hand. "No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have taken my anger out on you. You've been nothing but wonderful and this is how I repay you. It just hurts so much. It's like I can actually feel my heart continuing to break."
Jodie wasn't mad at the girl though. "I just hate not being able to do anything to help you. I can't help but feel this is partially my fault."
"Jodie, this isn't-"
"No let me finish." The Latina kept her eyes downcast. "I mean, I know you guys were having problems before, but it's not like I was helping things. I was the reason your back was hurting. I'm the one who couldn't keep her big mouth shut. I let my want to pick on Marissa get the better of me, and it may have just cost you your relationship. I'm sorry."
Alex hadn't realized her friend felt this way. This only made her feel even worse for lashing out at her. "Jodie look at me. Please." Jodie was hesitant, but she did as she was asked. "You are helping me. You being here for me means more to me than I could ever express. This isn't your fault. Like you said, we've been having problems before. You didn't worsen them. Please don't blame yourself. I don't, and you shouldn't either."
Jodie smiled. "Thanks." She was grateful for Alex's words, but she still couldn't help the way she felt. A silence fell over the two girls. Both were just gazing ahead.
"Her birthday's this Saturday," Alex said, breaking the silence. She turned to face Jodie. "You're still going to DJ, right?" Alex noticed the incredulous look upon Jodie's face. "I know it's a lot to ask, but it would really mean a lot to me if you would. You're the best, and she deserves the best. She only turns 18 once. Please."
More than anything, Jodie wanted to say no. She even felt a little insulted. "Alex, she's the reason why my best friend is in so much pain right now. I don't-"
"Please. I need this party to be the best.It's my only connection to her at the moment. I feel like if I fail it, I'll fail her. It's the one thing that I can still do for. I can't screw it up. I just can't. If I can make it perfect, then maybe she'll talk to me again. I know I'm probably not making sense, but I just…I just need it to be perfect."
Somehow Jodie was able to make sense of what Alex was saying to her. "Okay, but I'm doing it for you. Not her."
"Thank you. Do you mind if we head in? I just want to go home and lay down for a bit."
"No problem. You could use the rest."
Alex gave Jodie an appreciative smile. She was paddling herself in when something caught her eye, causing her to stop her actions. This concerned Jodie. "Hey Al. Are you okay?" She didn't get an answer though. The blonde was looking ahead at the shore. Jodie followed her gaze and the sight that she saw brought a wave of anger. There, walking along the shore, was Marissa. She was laughing and looking as if her current situation with Alex wasn't bothering her at all. The sight of Marissa being so happy was bad enough. The fact that she wasn't alone made it even worse. By her side, with their arms linked together, was Ryan. He too looked rather happy and was donning a huge smile. Jodie turned to look at Alex. All traces with anger was soon replaced with concern.
Alex looked at the two walking. They looked so care-free. They looked so content. So together. She supposed she should've been angry, but all she felt was even more sadness and a sense of loss. If she wasn't broken before, she sure was now. She felt the last remaining pieces of her crumbling, and she wasn't sure if she'd ever be able to pick the pieces back up.