Noah leaned forward against the black leather steering wheel of his parked rental car, slurping slowly and noisily through the lid of the take-away coffee he'd picked up at Java on the way from the airport.

He'd missed the coffee from Java. It had a very distinctive woody flavour totally unique to the tiny coffee store where he'd spent so many hours of his life in Oakdale; serving customers, wiping tables, restocking wooden stir sticks and tiny sachets of sugar.

The black mud offered to him on the flight from Los Angeles was abandoned with disgust after one tentative swallow. So, despite his urgency to locate Luke, Noah knew he'd function with a much clearer head if he sacrificed the few minutes it would take to pick up a proper brew en route.

But he couldn't even enjoy it. He barely tasted it. His stomach was a knot of nerves and apprehension; his eyes fixed on the white farmhouse with the green roof.

The metal rooster atop the nearby barn squeaked as it rotated in the warm breeze blowing in from the southwest and Noah could hear the familiar neigh of horses, enjoying exercise in the sunny paddock.

After a few minutes Noah flopped back in the car seat.

"Come on Mayer!" he said aloud, discarding the coffee cup in the car's drink holder, "Grow some balls!"

Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath he exited the vehicle.

As Noah closed the door he took a moment to cast his eyes over the landscape; breathing in the long remembered scent of hay and oak-chips. The rolling hills, dense forests and long rustling grasses remained unchanged from the pictures he'd stored in his memory. It made the two years away seem more like two days; as though he'd stepped across parallel dimensions that were running at different speeds.

Snyder Farm tugged on his heartstrings in much the same way as Luke did. It wasn't the place of his childhood but it might as well have been considering how much Noah loved it. It was the only place he'd even truly felt at home; part of a real loving family; everything he'd ever dreamt of as a sad and lonely child, being dragged back and forth across the country as his father's military career dictated.

When he lost Luke, he'd also lost the farm and the family that had welcomed him in; a mother and father, brothers and sister, aunts and uncles and grandmothers. Especially one particular grandmother whose evening beef roast and potatoes Noah could smell all the way from inside.

He followed the tantalising aroma up the two porch steps and into the conservatory, nervousness gathering with each jittery step closer to the open back door. He'd left this family without even the courtesy of a goodbye and he didn't know what to expect once they saw him.

The large and rustic kitchen was empty except for Grandma Emma. She was the very picture of apple-cheeked perfection; yellow floral apron tied neatly around her ample frame as she stood before the central kitchen countertop. Oblivious to Noah standing so near, she sniffed while finely chopping an onion with a chef's true skill.

Noah couldn't take his eyes off of her. He was frozen by the beauty of the moment and utterly entranced by a scene he'd woken up dreaming about some nights while alone in Los Angeles. He tried to speak and announce his presence but his lips were oddly glued together and his mouth felt dry.

Finally taking another step into the kitchen he was brought up short by two arguing voices approaching from the opposite side of the kitchen. Emma turned toward the sound, still without noticing Noah in the doorway.

"I know that Holden," Lily exclaimed, first to appear. She was obviously upset as she entered the kitchen speaking over her shoulder to Luke's father, "But we've tried everything else and nothing seems to be working."

Holden followed shaking his head and frowning; deep in thought. Since Lily had stopped with her back to Noah it was Holden who noticed him first. When he lifted his head his eyes flew wide open in surprise and his mouth moved in an effort to speak; only nothing came out.

"There must be someone who can break through to him?" Oblivious, Lily continued to address Holden with exasperation.

Holden and Noah stood locked in a deep moment of silent communication. Noah felt his throat burning with emotion at the utter relief and love radiating from the older man. Without breaking their stare Holden wet his lips and uttered, "Maybe there is."

It was then Lily noticed Holden's line of sight and she turned to follow his gaze, as did Emma, who's attention up until then had been fixed on Holden and Lily.

"Oh my!" Emma exclaimed, chopping knife dropping to the floor and hands lifting up to her rosy lips. Her eyes were already brimming with tears, "Oh my, oh my!" She moved to stand before Noah, glancing up and down his long frame, "Is it really you?"

Ashamed, Noah nodded lightly staring down into the eyes of the gentlest woman he'd ever met.

"Noah…" She said softly, a smile curing her lips and one hand resting on her heart. She turned her back to him and laughed wetly, "Look! Holden? Lily? It's him! It's Noah!"

Both Holden and Lily nodded as Emma gestured her hands at the long lost boy in her doorway, but were still too shocked to react.

Emma turned back to Noah and pulled him into a tight embrace, "Oh my dear boy! You've come home at last! Oh thank you Lord!" She pushed him back, gripping his elbows and checking him over again, "You're too thin! You've not been eating at all!"

Crying now and totally unable to speak, Noah couldn't help smiling as he shook his head in agreement. He knew she was right. He'd not been looking after himself very well at all, at least not up until lately when he'd begun to accept the past and move forward.

Emma cupped both his cheeks in callused hands and stared into his eyes knowingly, "You're here for Luke."

Smile vanishing, Noah nodded, "He needs me."

By now Lily had stepped closer and Emma moved out of the way. Noah stood waiting for her anger and reprimand but, like Emma, Lily simply hugged him to her chest.

"Oh Noah, baby." Lily cried into his shoulder, "We've been so worried. You were hurting so much when you left and we didn't know what happened to you. Whether you were okay…"

"I wasn't." Noah told her as she drew back, "But I'm better now and… I'm so sorry." He looked up and caught Holden's eyes once more, "All of you! I realise what I did to you and… I was… it was too hard… and…"

"It's okay son." Holden held up his hand, putting an end to Noah's difficulties, "You're home and that's all that matters."

Noah nodded unsurely and then asked the question he really wanted to know the answer to, "Where is he?"

Noah knew Luke was somewhere on the farm because his car was parked outside between Emma's beat up old truck and Lily's silver BMW.

The farm was the first place Noah drove too after his quick pit stop at Java. It just seemed the most natural place to start. Luke was upset, and when Luke was upset he always headed for the farm.

Lily paused, confused, "But how did you know to come?"

"Oh… um…" Noah stuttered sheepishly, "Luke found me while he was in L.A…"

"What?" Emma exclaimed, "He's been home for weeks! He never said anything… Why would he keep something so important to himself?"

"Please don't be mad at him." Noah whispered, "He wanted to tell you but I asked him not to… I… I wasn't ready. I mean… seeing Luke… it was a shock and… Again, I'm so sorry! After everything you did for me you didn't deserve to be treated like that… I have no excuse… just that…"

Lily cocked her head at Noah sympathetically. "Really it's not what's important right now."

They all took a breath as they remembered their dilemma.

"Is he okay?" Noah asked.

"Oh Noah," she replied, stroking a hand down Noah's cheek, "he's so sad."

Noah held both of her hands in his, "What happened?"

Lily looked over at Holden with concern but after he nodded she replied, "It's Dr. Oliver…"

Noah dropped her hands and fought an impulse to turn and run. He feared what she'd say next, "Look… I came because I know Luke needs me but… I'm sorry… there's nothing about Reid that I want to know…"

"…he's dead."

The blood drained from Noah's body and he staggered back a step, "W-what?"

"Oh it's just awful!" Lily sniffed, wiping her eyes, "It was an accident. His car… something went wrong with it and… it crashed through the barrier and off the side of the Port Lane Bridge… right onto the main railway line to and from Chicago. He was alive but a train came and…"

Noah ran his hands along the sides of his head, "Oh my God."

He didn't know Reid visually. He'd only ever actually seen the man once or twice. To Noah, Reid was represented in his mind as more of a voice or a presence. At one point, obnoxious or not, that presence had been comforting; it meant there was still hope.

But it would later become the voice of his nightmares, laughing at him in his sleep.

Noah hated Dr. Reid Oliver not only because he'd won Luke's affections, but also because of what he would later represent. Ultimate proof; that the relationship Noah held so dear and thought so right, was in reality flawed and weak and so was he.

He strongly believed that Reid's advances on Luke played a major part in the final demise of their relationship; and that as his doctor, Reid was out of line. Noah hated Reid for this.

But to die like that? Noah wouldn't wish death on any person, not even Reid.

He looked up from the kitchen floor, "And Luke's…?"

"…not doing so good." Holden finished, pressing a hand to his temple as though he had a screaming headache, "He's not said a word to anyone since it happened. The whole things really hit him hard and he's exhausted but he won't sleep."

"Everything just happened so fast!" Lily exclaimed, "And I think it's only now starting to sink in…"

Noah nodded, still in a state of shock and disbelief. He sensed there was far more to this story but at that moment he could only process one piece of information.

Reid was dead.

Noah struggled to get his head around it. His thoughts went immediately to Luke but then secondly to all of Reid's current patients, waiting for their chance at sight. And to all Reid's future patients who'd never get their turn.

"Luke loved Reid." Lily said almost absentmindedly and then remembered and gasped, "Oh, Noah! I'm so sorry! I didn't say that to…"

"No, it's okay." Noah held up his hand even as he flinched at the comment, "I already knew that anyway." He looked up at the rafters shaking his head, "I just… I feel so terrible for Luke! I can't even imagine what this is doing to him!"

Holden placed a strong hand on Noah's shoulder, squeezing gently, "Luke's never stopped loving you son. We're so pleased you've come home Noah. I think you're exactly what Luke needs."

"I think so too. That's why I'm here."

Lily smiled with pride at Noah and it made him feel a spark of warmth inside even as his stomach swirled so much he felt like throwing up. It was starting to feel like God was testing him.

He gathered strength from somewhere deep inside and asked, "Where is he?"

Lily smiled softly through her tears, "Don't you already know?"

Noah thought for a moment and then returned her smile.

"Don't worry," he told the three pairs of troubled eyes watching him expectantly, "Luke's going to be just fine. I'll make sure of it."