[The woods. The Fairytale Creatures are walking with their stuff. They're all upset.]
Pinocchio: Just when you think life can't get any worse, you get evicted from a swamp!
Elf: Yeah, I thought that Ogre was gonna help us!
Peter Pan: (Hopeful)He still might! Maybe if we all close our eyes and clap really hard!
Pinocchio: (To Peter)Oh, grow up!
Peter Pan: I won't grow up!
Pinocchio: You're 34 and need a shave!
Little Sassy Wolf: Burn! (Gives Pinocchio a high-five)
[Fairytale Creatures begin to talk.]
Pinocchio: Oh, yeah!(Crowd silences) Am I wrong?
[A small cage Peter's holding begins to shake on it's own]
Peter Pan: (To cage)Easy, Tink. And watch your language! (Whispers)Even if it's true.
Red Ridding Hood: Why is she in that cage, again?
Peter Pan: We don't like flying far distances.
Sugar Plum Fairy: Ya, neither do I. Too much vork.
Red Ridding Hood: Peter, you fly?
Little Sassy Wolf: (To Red)Maybe, if you weren't too busy sucking your thumb, and lovingly gazing at my brother, you would of remembered.
Red Ridding Hood: Why, you…
[Bad Wolf keeps Red & Sassy apart.]
Goldilocks: I smell front page news!
Jr Bear: Weren't you fired?
Goldilocks: I could always come back, Juni.
[Laughter.]
Jr Bear: (To Goldilocks)I told you not to call me that in public!
Goldilocks: (Flirty)So?
Big Bad Wolf: Where to now?
Fairy Godmother: 40 miles, north they said! There's a land fill with our names on it!
Gingy: (Yells in anger)A land fill! Are you kidding me! What's next? A dung hill?! A septic tank?! How low do we need to go, everyone? It's time to do what we should've done a long time ago. We gotta stand up to Farquaad ourselves!
White Rabbit: Gingy's right! It's time we got off our fluffy butts and do something!
[Fairytale Creatures talk, loudly]
Pinocchio: (Yells)Wait a minute!(Quiets)Look, maybe that Ogre wasn't the answer, but something better will come along and we have to wait for it. (crowd groans)Because that is what Fairytale Creatures do. We wait for miracles, we wish upon stars. Why my cricket always told me…
Witch: (Cutting him off)oh, forget that cricket! If he was so smart, he would've seen that windshield coming! (claps hands together)
[Fairytale Creatures react.]
Little Sassy Wolf: Burn!
Elf: Sassy, you're getting on our nerves!
Little Sassy Wolf: So?
Pinocchio: So, we just need to lay low, until this blows over!
[Crowd gets angry. They talk over each other, berating Pinocchio.]
Pinocchio: (Yells)None of this would've happened if I were a real boy! (crowd goes silent)Why can't I be a real boy?
[He looks into the distance while Elf, comes up to comfort him, which he lovingly accepts. Gingy sneaks up to them.]
Freak Flag
GINGY
(Yelled)
Listen up, Puppet!
(Sung)
We spend out whole lives weren't so freakin' strange.
They make us feel that way. But it's they who need to change
PAPA BEAR:
(spoken)
The way they think, that is.
BABY BEAR:
(spoken)
That's right, Papa!
GINGY
It's time to stop the hiding. It's time to stand up tall.
Sing hey world, I'm different, and here I am splinters and all!
Spliters and all
MAMA BEAR
Let your freak flag wave
PINNOCHIO
(Spoken)
My what?
MAMA BEAR
Let your freak flag fly
GINGY
(Spoken)
Thats what im talking about!
MAMA BEAR & SUGAR PLUM FAIRY
Never take it down, never take it down
Raise it way up high! Let your freak flag fly! Let it fly, fly, fly!
PINOCCHIO:
It's hard to be a puppet
THREE LITTLE PIGS:
Little puppet boy
PINOCCHIO:
So many strings attached.
Ugly Duckling
But it's not the choice you made.
THREE LITTLE PIGS:
No, no.
Ugly Duckling
Its just, how you, were hatched!
ALL
Let your freak flag wave, let your freak flag fly. Never take it down, Never take it down,
Raise it way up high!
Let your freak flag fly
THREE LITTLE PIGS:
I'm proud to be a piggie!
ALL:
Little pig, little pig
PAPA BEAR:
I raise my furry fist
ALL:
Papa Bear, Papa Bear
SHOEMAKERS ELF
It's time a tell the world I'm a scientologist!
WICKED WITCH:
I did some time in jail
ALL:
Yeah, yeah.
GARDEN GNOME:
I smell like sauerkraut
BAD WOLF:
I'm gonna shed my house coat
[Bad Wolf's coat is taken off, reveling a sparkly dress.]
ALL:
Mr. Thing, you work it out!
Let your freak flag wave! Let your freak flag fly! Never take it down never take it down.
Raise it way up high!
PINOCCHIO:
(spoken)
Yes! It all makes sense! We may be freaks, but we?re freaks with teeth, and claws,
and magic wands! And together, we can stand up to Farquaad!
(sung)
Never take it down
Raise it way up high!
RED RIDDING HOOD:
We've got magic
We've got power
Who are they
To say we're wrong?
ALL:
Go girl!
RED RIDDING HOOD:
All the things that make us special
Are the things that make us strong!
MAMA BEAR
What makes us special,
PINOCCHIO:
What makes us special
ALL:
What makes us special
Makes us strong!
Let your freak flag wave!
Let your freak flag fly!
Never take it down, never take it down
Raise it way up high!
Let your freak flag fly! Fly!
Fly!
Fly!
Fly!
PINOCcHIO
(spoken)
I'm wood! I'm good! Get used to it!
ALL
FLY!
Pinocchio: To Duloc!
[Fairytale Creatures cheer. They then leave. Curtains close.]