A quick note, this chapter takes place the same day as chapter thirteen.
A Fight for Life
Jessie's head wouldn't stop pounding. She couldn't think straight. She needed to know what was going on but she couldn't seem to wake herself up again. Every breath she took felt like it was going to crack her chest right open. She could feel the exposed flesh in her throat where the ring had been removed. Something was holding her left shoulder down and it hurt something fierce. Jessie just wanted all the pain to go away.
Then suddenly she felt the pain leaving her body. She could begin to move her fingers freely and rotated her shoulder. The darkness began to fade and she could see someone standing in the distance, a light growing behind them.
She walked towards them. She could almost see their faces, but she was still too far away. She started running towards them. Soon Jessie could hear their voices calling her name, but as she got closer though she realized they weren't yelling her name.
"Izzy!" Jessica yelled, "My little Izzy Bug has come home!"
"Oh Izzy, we missed you!" Brian yelled.
Jessie came to a screeching halt. She stood there and looked at them. "My name isn't Izzy anymore." she said. "It's Dr. Jessica Elizabeth Stone Caine now."
"No Izzy that's me." Jessica said, "You're name is Elizabeth Renee Johnson."
"Come on Izzy," Brian said, "Let's go home now. We can be a family again."
"No!" Jessie screamed, "My name isn't Izzy! It's Jessica! And you're not my family anymore! Horatio is my father and Kyle is my brother! They're my family!"
"Izzy you don't have a brother." Brian said.
"Maybe Izzy doesn't, but Jessie does." With that Jessie turned and began to run away from them.
Jessie's head started pounding again and the pain began to return. She felt her legs begin to give out under her and she collapsed to the ground. She lay there panting, the stabbing pains in her chest increasing. She felt tears in her eyes as she curled up on the ground. The pain wouldn't stop.
Then Jessie felt her body relax a little as sleep over came her and she fell back into darkness.
Alexx was carefully working bones back into place in Jessica's shoulder using pins and metal plates. It was a delicate procedure because the bones were so badly broken. The sound of the heart monitor beeping irregularly didn't even break her concentration.
"Dr. Woods," a nurse said, "Her heart rate and blood pressure are dropping rapidly."
"Well do something about it." Alexx said, "In case you can't tell I'm a little busy here."
The nurses and doctors started working, trying to get Jessica's heart to speed back up. Then the machine's monotone droning made Alexx feel like her own heart stopped.
"Get the defibrillator!" one of the other doctors yelled. "Charge it to two hundred! Dr. Woods you need to stop what you're doing so we can resuscitate her."
Alexx looked at the older doctor over the top of her surgical glasses. "Honey do you understand that if I move right now she'll loose all use of this arm?"
"Dr. Woods, she's flat lining right now, we need to use the defibrillator and we can't do that if your instruments are in her shoulder. If we don't revive her she won't have a use for that arm."
"You really don't know this girl, do you?" Alexx asked him. Suddenly Jessica's heart monitor started beeping again at a slow, weak rate but it was quickly increasing. The other doctor looked at the monitor skeptically.
"How is that possible?" he asked. Alexx smiled behind her mask and continued her work. "I told you didn't know this girl. Baby's got a lot to lose by dying and she knows it. The last thing she's going to do is leave her life behind. Besides, she's already done that once before and it was hard enough. Now why don't you go tell her father and boyfriend what just happened. I promised I would keep them informed but that's a little hard to do when I'm making sure she can still throw those mean left hooks I hear she's got."
Horatio saw the older male doctor walk out of the doors that led to the operating rooms. He walked over to where he and Ryan were sitting.
"Lieutenant Caine, Officer Wolfe?" he said.
Horatio nodded and stood up to meet the man's gaze. "That's us. Is there something wrong with my daughter?"
The doctor seemed perplexed. He shook his head and stared at Horatio. "Her heart stopped." Ryan made a horrified noise and Horatio turned to see panic forming in the young man's eyes. "But there's more!" the doctor quickly added. "Dr. Woods refused to stop her work reconstructing Dr. Caine's shoulder so we weren't able to use the defibrillator to resuscitate her. She flat lined for about twenty seconds." The doctor shook his head again, unable to grasp the words he was saying.
"What happened?" Horatio asked urgently, "What happened to my daughter?"
The doctor looked at Horatio, the disbelieving look still present in his eyes. "Her heart started back up on it's own." He chuckled briefly. "In my twenty-seven years working as a doctor I have never seen someone's heart restart itself. Her pulse is steady and she seems to be doing fine now. We're monitoring her closely, but all her vitals are back to normal. I must say Lieutenant Caine your daughter has an incredible will to live. It seems she's really not going down without a fight."
Horatio smiled. "She always was a stubborn one. Just like her mother."
"I can imagine. I've just never seen someone who was stubborn about dying. In my opinion the poor girl would just be better off just letting herself go now."
Ryan stood and looked at the man. He was a few inches taller than Ryan but Horatio could see the doctor start to recoil in fear.
"Maybe she would be better off dying, but the world would be better off if she stayed." Ryan said, "You don't know who you're talking about. Jessica Caine is the strongest person I've ever met. Everyone who meets her has their life changed, including you now." Ryan took a step back. "I would have imagined as a doctor you would have learned by now never to say things like that about your patients." Ryan turned and walked out of the waiting room and down the hall.
"Excuse me before he hurts someone or himself." Horatio said. He left the doctor standing there as he quickly followed Ryan.
Horatio found Ryan standing in the hall just thirty feet away. He was leaning with his forehead against the wall. Horatio couldn't tell if he looked more angry or distressed. Horatio walked up and leaned against the wall next to Ryan. He didn't say anything; he just looked at the ground and waited for Ryan to talk.
"How can he say something like that?" Ryan asked, "How can he look you in the eye and tell you your daughter would be better off dead?"
Horatio sighed. "Because Ryan, sometimes it's true, people are better off dying when they're in pain. Sometimes it's just too difficult for their bodies to handle so it's better that they leave this world than continue to suffer for us."
Ryan turned and looked at Horatio. "You don't want her to die, do you H?"
Horatio shook his head. "I would never in a million years wish for my daughter's death. When Izzy was dying and the doctors told me she needed a blood transfusion or she would die I volunteered to donate. They said an unfiltered blood transfusion could cause more damage, but there was no time to worry about that. Izzy would have been dead by the time they found a stock of filtered blood.
"After the kidney transplant Izzy started running a massive fever. Her body had accepted the new kidney, but something had caused her to get sick. With her immune system so low because of the transfusion and transplant the doctors told me I might be better off saying my good byes. They didn't think she was going to make it." Horatio shook his head. "She was so tiny. All her life Izzy was small. Her body was so weak and she was so tired that I almost wished she would die just so the pain would leave her, but I couldn't.
"If Izzy died then James would have won, and I didn't want that to happen. She amazingly enough pulled out of it and woke up on her own from the coma. No one knew how it happened. The doctors told me it was a down right miracle she was alive."
Ryan smiled weakly at his boss. "That's Jessie for you, never taking the easy way out."
Ryan stood up straight and he and Horatio walked back to the waiting room. The doctor was gone and their sat back down in their chairs. Ryan sighed and looked at Horatio. Horatio didn't miss the pain in Ryan's eyes and he felt terrible for the younger man.
"Tell me something else about Jessica." Ryan said, "Back when she was Izzy. Please H?"
Horatio smiled. "Izzy was a lively child, always thinking that one. She wanted to know about everything and anything about the world. She grasped things so quickly. She had an incredibly knack for learning. Izzy wanted to be just like her mother. Everyone said she looked just like Jessabelle with her blonde curls and green eyes.
"Izzy was very small. When she was born she only weighed four and a half pounds. Growing up she was the tiniest of her classmates. I feared for her the day she was sentenced to three years in prison. I was afraid she would die in a riot or be victimized because she was so small and everyone knew she was my daughter now. But she grew so much in those three months before her death. In the first month alone when she was in prison she grew eight inches. The doctors had to give her dietary supplements and other medication to keep her bones from breaking because they had become brittle from growing so fast.
"They couldn't explain the sudden growth. Eventually the doctors decided it had something to do with the transplant. Both of Izzy's parents were short, most people thought Brian was younger than me because he was so much shorter. The doctors think that my flesh and blood in her system now changed her. Her eyes turned the same color as mine and she was suddenly taller. The doctors explained that sometimes people who receive a transplant have their physical features altered. They become taller, they develop more freckles, and in extremely rare cases their hair or eye color changes."
"That's amazing." Ryan said. He smiled at Horatio. "I still can't believe I never noticed you two have the same colored eyes. I knew I had seen Jessica's eyes somewhere before when I met her. I feel so ridiculous for not noticing." Ryan chuckled.
"Well Ryan sometimes the most obvious things are the ones we don't catch." Horatio chuckled, "Like the loving looks you and my daughter always exchanged or the large amount of time you always spent together. I can't believe that I didn't realize you were this mysterious man she was dating and refused to tell me about."
"When did she tell you?"
"She told me about being able to have sex for the first time without panicking and that's when she said she had a new boyfriend. She refused to tell me who it was no matter how hard I tried. The day she told me she was pregnant she slipped up and said your name."
Ryan hesitated but asked his question anyways. "What did you think when she told you it was me?"
Horatio sighed. "To be honest I was furious, but that was kind of the reaction I had every time Jessica got a new boyfriend. I didn't believe anyone would ever be good enough for my daughter after the hard life she's had."
"You were especially mad it was me because I've fucked up so many times." Ryan said as he rubbed his eyes. "You didn't want it to be me."
Horatio placed his hand on Ryan's shoulder. "You've screwed up enough Mr. Wolfe, but Jessica was right we all make mistakes and sometimes we just need to be forgiven." Horatio paused, "That's what she told me the day I called her about giving you your job back."
Ryan turned and looked at Horatio. "What….what do you mean?"
"The day you asked me for your job back I had a lot to think about. I didn't want to hire you back but at the same time I knew you wouldn't make the same mistakes. Something was nagging me to call Jessica, so I did. For some reason I felt she would be the best person to talk to about the whole situation. I never used your name but I told her about an employee who had broke protocol and was fired and had came to me asking for his job back. She told me everyone makes mistakes and they learn and grow from them. Jessie Bug said I should give you your job back because you wouldn't screw up again and you would become a better, stronger person." Horatio squeezed Ryan's shoulder. "I'm so glad I listened to her. You've become an incredible person Ryan Wolfe and I'm so glad you came into my daughter's life. You've helped her so much. I haven't seen Jessie Bug this happy in years."
Ryan smiled weakly. "So Jessica's the reason I got my job back?" Horatio nodded his head. Ryan buried his face in his hands and breathed heavily. He sat back up and looked at Horatio. He shook his head with a smile on his face. "I can't believe it. It's like she was looking out for me before we even knew each other. It's like we really were meant to be together." Ryan suddenly felt a little awkward saying these things to Horatio, but he must have agreed with Ryan because Horatio squeezed Ryan's shoulder again and smiled at him.
"It's like you said Ryan, everyone who meets Jessie Bug has their life changed, whether they want it or not."
Alexx was dreading having to break the news to Ryan and Horatio. She left the operating room and walked down the hall to the waiting room. She found the two men in Jessica's life that she knew cared more for her than their own lives. She took a deep breathe and approached them.
"Horatio, Ryan, I need to talk to both of you." Alexx said, taking a seat in the chair adjacent to their chairs, pulling it closer to them. It had been three hours since they had received any news about Jessica's condition.
"Something's gone wrong, we don't know what. Jessie's fell into a coma. We can't get her to wake up and her brain function declines and then increases. Then her heart starts beating too fast and slows down too much. It's not looking good." Alexx felt her self tear up and choked a bit, "We don't know how much time baby girl's got left. We thought she was doing better but something has caused her health to deteriorate. We don't know how much longer she's going to fight. She's in the ICU right now. We can only allow one at a time, but you might want to go say your good byes before it's too late."
Horatio's heart hit the ground. He couldn't believe it. His little girl was dying and there was nothing he could do about it. For the first time since Jessica's parents had died Horatio felt that he had hit rock bottom. He couldn't believe that he had failed them in his promise to keep her safe and healthy. Horatio felt tears form in his eyes; tears he had tried to hold back since Jessica was kidnapped. They became too heavy for him and he felt them stream down his cheeks.
Ryan sat there in his chair, crying harder than he could ever remember in his life. Jessica was going to leave him and there was nothing he could do. It was all his fault. He shouldn't have let her drive off alone. He should have stayed in the car.
"Horatio," Alexx said softly, "Would you like to see her first?" Horatio couldn't speak, he just nodded his head slowly. He took Ryan's hand and squeezed it gently. Horatio followed Alexx down the hall and into Jessica's small room.
Her face was bruised and swollen and there were so many cuts and scraps. The monitor beeped rhythmically in time with her weak heart. Horatio sat down in the chair next to her bed. He held her right hand in his and just looked at his daughter.
"Jessie Bug, I love you so much. You were always the daughter I never had. I'm sorry this happened to you again. I'm sorry I failed you as a parent. This isn't how I wanted it to be." Horatio leaned over Jessica and kissed her forehead. He sat back down in his chair and just held her hand.
"You look so much like your mother, but taller, much taller. You act just like, too. Stubborn as the day is long and sassy, too." Horatio smiled but felt the tears continue to run down his face. "I'm sorry I let this happen to you baby. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. I know I haven't been the best parent you could have had, but I believe someone once told me that you don't always get to choose your family but when you do you know when it's right."
Horatio kissed Jessica's hand. "I love you Bug. I don't want you to go, please come back." Horatio paused briefly, choking on his words. "If you can find the strength please wake up. The team needs you, Ryan needs you, and I need you. If you can't then I want you to know you have truly changed my life and I will never forget you as long as I live. Good bye Jessie."
Horatio kissed her forehead again. "I love you Jessica. You will always be my little girl and my Jessie Bug."
Pain ripped through Jessica's body like wild fire. She was screaming but it seemed no one could hear her. She cried out Horatio's name but he wasn't there. Jessica cried loudly, she just wanted the pain to go away.
Then she felt someone take her hand. Jessica tried to pull away, afraid someone was going to hurt her again. Then she recognized the way he held her hand and the texture of his strong hands.
"Daddy!" Jessica cried, "Daddy please help me! It hurts so much!" Horatio didn't respond. Instead he started talking to her.
"Jessie Bug, I love you so much. You were always the daughter I never had. I'm sorry this happened to you again. I'm sorry I failed you as a parent. This isn't how I wanted it to be."
Jessica felt him kiss her forehead. "Daddy? What do you mean you failed? You didn't do anything wrong. I messed up! It was my fault!"
"You look so much like your mother, but taller, much taller. You act just like, too. Stubborn as the day is long and sassy, too. I'm sorry I let this happen to you baby. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. I know I haven't been the best parent you could have had, but I believe someone once told me that you don't always get to choose your family but when you do you know when it's right."
Jessica teared up as her father recited the words she had said to him the day he adopted her. "No Daddy you did fine. You were the best father I would have asked for. Please don't say those things. You did nothing wrong!"
Horatio kissed Jessica's hand. "I love you Bug. I don't want you to go, please come back. If you can find the strength please wake up. The team needs you, Ryan needs you, and I need you. If you can't then I want you to know you have truly changed my life and I will never forget you as long as I live. Good bye Jessie."
"Daddy….why are you saying good bye? Where am I going?"
Horatio kissed her forehead again. "I love you Jessica. You will always be my little girl and my Jessie Bug."
"Daddy…please don't leave…" Jessica felt Horatio released her hand and heard him walk away.
"Daddy!" Jessica screamed at the top of her lungs. It was no use, he was gone and Jessica was once again alone.
Alexx led Horatio back into the waiting room where Ryan was waiting. Alexx gently took his hand and led him back down the hall. Before she let him go in Alexx pulled Ryan into her arms and kissed his cheek. "I'm sorry baby, we did all that we could." She said to him. Ryan nodded his head and walked through the door.
Ryan walked into the small hospital room and looked at the only woman he would ever love. She had a ventilator down her throat, a heart monitor hooked up to her chest, several IV bags dripping into her, stitches all over her body, three fingers on her left hand in splints, a sling holding her left shoulder in place, and Ryan could see the large bandages around her chest that were keeping her ribs together.
Ryan sat in a chair next to her bed and looked at her long and hard.
"Oh Jessica," he finally said, "You would be appalled if you knew they had you in a yellow gown." Ryan chuckled a little at his own joke. He reached out and took Jessica's right hand in his own.
"Jessie, I love you so much. I'm so glad you're safe now. The team caught James. He's headed back to Illinois after the doctors fix him up. Personally I don't understand why they're bothering. He's a death row inmate. What does he need his penis reattached for anyways?" Ryan squeezed Jessica's hand. "I must say though, that was pretty creative of you to make your heel into a shack and then stab him right in the groin with his own knife." Ryan smiled a little. "I'm proud of you."
"The district attorney doesn't even know if he wants to press charges against him for kidnapping you and holding you prisoner since he's a death row inmate anyways. Horatio's fighting him to press charges after what he did. The other Crip Kings are having charges pressed against them. Horatio's fighting for the death penalty in those cases also. Tommy might be a different situation though. The claims he's making that he helped you might save him, but we don't know what's going to happen to him."
Ryan looked at the ring in his hand. He turned it over several times. Ryan carefully placed the ring on Jessica's right finger.
"I know it's not the one you usually wear it on, but there's no way I'm going to be able to get it to fit on your finger for a few weeks, I think." Ryan looked longingly at the young woman in the hospital bed. He leaned forward and kissed her forehead, as he started to cry again.
"Alexx told us to come in and say our good byes, but I'm not ready to do that. I know it's selfish to ask but please don't leave me Jessica. I need you. You've become more than just a part of my life. You are my life and I want to spend the rest of it with you.
"Please Jessica, I love you. I need you to come back to me. Don't leave me in this world without you, I won't make it. Please, come back. I love you."
Ryan placed his forehead against Jessica's knuckles on the hand that he still held in his own. He cried so hard his whole body was shaking. He kissed Jessica's hand and looked at her lifeless body. He knew he had to say it, just in case Alexx was right.
"I know you're probably in a lot of pain right now and you want that relief. Do what you need to do Jessie. I'll ok either way. You can go. I'll always love you no matter what. You are my world and my soul and without you I'm incomplete. But do what's best for you. I'll support your decision despite how much it'll hurt." Ryan kissed the ring on her hand. "That's my promise to you."
Ryan looked one more time at the beautiful woman and felt his heart break knowing what was to come soon.
"Good bye Jessica. You are the best thing to ever come into my life. I hope we see each other again in another life."
Ryan continued to sit at Jessica's side and cry. He couldn't believe he was about to loose the one person in the world that he loved more than anything.
Then Ryan felt Jessica's hand gently squeeze his.
Jessica was laying there in the darkness. She had no clue where she was or where Horatio had gone. Pain still ran through her body like hot fire. She heard someone approach her. There was a slight clattering noise next to her. She felt someone pick up her hand and hold it. She recognized the feel of his skin against her own and knew who it was.
"Oh Jessica," he finally said, "You would be appalled if you knew they had you in a yellow gown."
"Ryan!" Jessica yelled, "Ryan please help me!" But nothing happened. Ryan continued to talk.
"Jessie, I love you so much. I'm so glad you're safe now. The team caught James. He's headed back to Illinois after the doctors fix him up. Personally I don't understand why they're bothering. He's a death row inmate. What does he need his penis reattached for anyways?" Ryan squeezed Jessica's hand. "I must say though, that was pretty creative of you to make your heel into a shack and then stab him with it. Than stabbing him right in the groin with his own knife."
There was a momentary pause before Ryan said "I'm proud of you."
Jessica couldn't help but chuckle at Ryan's joke. He always knew just what to say to make her feel better.
"The district attorney doesn't even know if he wants to press charges against him for kidnapping you and holding you prisoner since he's a death row inmate anyways. Horatio's fighting him to press charges after what he did. The other Crip Kings are having charges pressed against them. Horatio's fighting for the death penalty in those cases also. Tommy might be a different situation though. The claims he's making that he helped you might save him, but we don't know what's going to happen to him."
"They had better kill those bastards for my imprisonment! After what they did to me they deserve to have their brains fried out!"
Jessica felt something slip onto her right ring finger. She couldn't move her hand and she couldn't see it but she knew exactly what it was.
"I know it's not the one you usually wear it on, but there's no way I'm going to be able to get it to fit on your finger for a few weeks, I think."
"Oh Ryan, please don't leave me here! I'm scared!"
Then Jessica felt Ryan kiss her forehead and felt a few of his tears drop into her hair.
"Alexx told us to come in and say our good byes, but I'm not ready to do that. I know it's selfish to ask but please don't leave me Jessica. I need you. You've become more than just a part of my life. You are my life and I want to spend the rest of it with you."
"I'm not going anywhere Ryan! I'm staying right here with you!"
"Please Jessica, I love you. I need you to come back to me. Don't leave me in this world without you, I won't make it. Please, come back. I love you."
Jessica felt herself start to cry as she realized where this was going. "No Ryan, you can do this without me. You're stronger than you give yourself credit for."
"I know you're probably in a lot of pain right now and you want that relief. Do what you need to do Jessie. I'll ok either way. You can go. I'll always love you no matter what. You are my world and my soul and without you I'm incomplete. But do what's best for you. I'll support your decision despite how much it'll hurt."
Jessica was starting to fear that maybe Alexx was right. "Ryan it hurts so much, but I know it'll hurt worse without you here. Please help me Ryan! I'm not ready to leave this world without you!"
Ryan kissed the ring on her hand. "That's my promise to you."
"No Ryan! Please don't leave me!" Jessica yelled as she sobbed loudly.
"Good bye Jessica. You are the best thing to ever come into my life. I hope we see each other again in another life."
"NOOOO! I'm not leaving you Ryan!" Jessica continued to yell, "Please don't leave me here! I need you to help me! I don't know where I am but if you stay with me at least I'm not alone! Don't let them take me away!"
Jessica could feel Ryan place her hand against his forehead and his body began to shake. She could hear him crying heavily. He lowered her hand back down and continued to cry.
Jessica started pulling on Ryan's arm as hard as she could. Her arms felt like they were made of lead and there were no muscles in her hands. She had to get his attention and let him know that she was alive. She was sobbing so hard she could barely breathe. She yelled at the top of her lungs to him. "RYAN!"
"Jessie? Oh my god Alexx! She moved her hand!"
"Jessie?" Ryan said. He looked down at his hand and saw Jessica's squeezing his gently. Her whole arm seemed to be trembling and her knuckles were turning white. "Oh my god Alexx!" Ryan yelled, "She moved her hand."
Alexx came rushing into the room and looked down at Jessica's hand. She rested hers gently on top and could feel how hard she was shaking. Alexx looked at the monitors and realized they were producing more rapid signals. Alexx slammed her hand against a button on the wall and almost immediately other doctors and nurses began appearing in the room. Two nurses pushed in a crash cart and Alexx grabbed Ryan's shoulder.
"Honey I need you to wait in the hall, we need all the space we can get." Alexx told him.
"Alexx, what's going on?" Ryan asked confused.
"Baby girl's having a panic attack and we need to calm her down before she crashes." Alexx pushed Ryan out the door and slammed it shut behind him.
Ryan stood there unsure of what to do. A nurse walked up and placed her hand on his arm.
"Officer Wolfe, how about we go back to the waiting room?" she asked him. Ryan nodded his head and allowed the nurse to take him back to the god awful room he had been stuck in for so long.
Horatio looked up when he heard the doors open to see Ryan being led in by a nurse. He looked pale and shaky. Horatio feared what had happened in the room. He stood and walked to Ryan.
Horatio placed his hands on Ryan's shoulders. "Ryan, what happened?" Ryan just shook his head, unable to speak. "Is Jessica alright? What's wrong?" Horatio continued to ask.
"Lieutenant Caine," the nurse said, "Your daughter is having a panic attack. We're attempting to calm her down to avoid any major problems. Dr. Woods is working on her right now."
Horatio stood there stunned. "How is it possible that Jessica's having a panic attack when she's in a coma? She shouldn't have enough brain function for that."
Nurse shook her head. "We don't understand how it's happening either. When we have an answer we'll let you know." With that she walked away, leaving Horatio and Ryan alone again.
Horatio pulled Ryan over to the chairs and forced him to sit. Ryan had started crying again and was close to hyperventilating. Horatio sat in the chair next to him and held Ryan's hand.
"Ryan relax," Horatio said, "You did nothing wrong"
"But she's going to die and it's all my fault." Ryan gasped, "I left her. I let her go. I should have stayed. And now she's having a panic attack because of me. I've ruined her life!"
"No Ryan you haven't ruined anyone's life. She asked you to get out of the car so you could live. She cares so much about you, she couldn't stand the thought of them killing you. Jessica's going to make it through this and everything's going to go back to normal."
Ryan calmed down and his breathing slowed down. "Do you really think she's going to make it?"
Horatio smiled. "Do you really know my daughter like you think you do?"
Just then Alexx came bursting through the door into the waiting room. "Alright young man," she said to Ryan, pulling up a chair, "I know for a fact that you've been saying this whole thing is your fault. Well it hasn't been up until this point. Let me finish before you start panicking." she said as Ryan made a loud whimper sound. "Between what you and Horatio said to her something caused her to panic. Now we have had people display certain emotions while in a coma, but fear is not one of them, it's too difficult for the subconscious brain. Something you said caused her to become scared and then she started panicking.
"We were able to calm her down and get her stabilized again, but something strange happened. While we were trying to calm her down she opened her eyes and screamed your name. It only last maybe seven seconds and then she was out again. She's in the come again but stabilized now, but she keeps reaching out with her right hand." Alexx held Ryan's hand. "I think she's looking for you baby. You need to tell her you're leaving but that you'll be back. She needs her rest and I think having you around might keep her from fully relaxing. Besides I think you need to go home and get a good night sleep, too."
Ryan looked at Alexx confused. "I made her panic?"
Alexx nodded. "Yes baby but it's a good thing. This means her brain is still functioning." She smiled at him and Ryan could see her eyes mist over. "She's going to be just fine."
Ryan laughed a raspy laugh and tears trailed down his cheeks. "She's going to make it."
Alexx stood and pulled Ryan to his feet. "Come on baby, let's go tell Jessie Bug you're leaving so she can sleep." Alexx turned to Horatio. "I'll be back for you so you can tell her, too, Horatio. I think baby girl would want to see her daddy before he leaves."
Ryan followed Alexx into Jessica's room. There was a new IV bag hanging from the pole and her face was flushed. He sat down in the chair next to her bed. Jessica lifted her hand and closed and opened her fist. Ryan gently took it in his hand and held it gently.
"Hey Jessie," he said, "I'm here love. I have to leave now. I need to go home and sleep and maybe do some other stuff. But I'll be back tomorrow, I promise. You need to rest Jessie. Please try to relax and sleep." Ryan stroked her hair. He could smell the grease and body dirt from not showering. He leaned in and kissed her forehead. "You're going to be just fine. We're in this together and that's how it's always going to be." He rested his hand on her cheek and smile. "I'll see you tomorrow Jessie Belle."
Ryan stood and walked back to Alexx. She was looking at Jessica and smiled.
"What is it?" Ryan asked.
Alexx shook her head. "She looks more restful, like nothing's bothering her now."
Ryan turned and looked at Jessica and smiled. Her head had rolled slightly to the right and there was less tension in her body. "Yeah, she does."
Alexx pulled Ryan in for a hug. "Come on let's go get Horatio so you two can leave already."
Horatio drove back to the crime lab with Ryan. Neither man said anything. Ryan stared out the window, lost in thought. He didn't realize they were back at the lab until Horatio touched his shoulder.
"Why are we back here?" Ryan asked.
"Do you have your stuff?"
Ryan reached into his pockets and realized they were empty. In his hast to change he had forgotten to grab his stuff out of his other pants and locker. "No."
"Then we should probably get that before we leave." Horatio gave him a weak smile.
They walked out of the elevator onto their floor and all eyes were on them. No one spoke. No one moved. It was like the life had left the room, as a sober tone set in.
Calleigh came running down the hall. She stopped in front of the two men and looked at them, her large eyes full of sorrow.
"Horatio," she said, "Please tell me she's ok."
Horatio gave her a weak smile. "Jessica's alive. She's in a coma right now, but it seems she's still responding to her surroundings. It's too early to tell anything for sure, but Alexx thinks her chances of a full recovery are good."
Calleigh covered her mouth and sighed in relief. "Oh thank god. We've all been worried about her. I don't think any work got done today."
"Has anyone processed the boat yet?" Horatio asked.
Calleigh shook her head. "We have it detained at the dock but we decided to hold off on processing until you were back."
"Alright, make a note telling the graveyard shift they are not to touch it." Horatio said, "We'll start first thing in the morning. This case is taking priority over the others. We're going home now. Thank you Calleigh for watching over the lab while I was gone."
"Not a problem H. you needed to be with Jessica." Calleigh hugged him. "I'm so sorry this has happened. She'll make it Horatio, she's strong, just like her father." Calleigh turned her attention to Ryan. She gave him her cheerful smile and Ryan couldn't help but feel his spirit lift. "Oh Ryan, you must be one of the strongest people I know." She hugged him tightly. "You saved her, you really did. If you hadn't known how to track that call we wouldn't have found her. And then jumping into the ocean to get her, you're incredible."
Ryan blinked back tears. "It wasn't just me though. We worked together to bring her home."
Calleigh pecked him on the cheek. "Everything's going to be fine. She'll be out of the hospital before you know and we can go back to the way things were."
Ryan gave her a hopeful smile. "Thank you Calleigh."
Horatio walked into the locker room with Ryan. Ryan retrieved his wallet, phone, and glock from the top shelf of his locker while Horatio found his glock where Ryan had placed it earlier. Ryan was digging through his wet pants looking for his keys when Horatio said something.
"What did Jessica ask you?" Horatio asked him.
Ryan looked at him rather confused. "When?"
"When you were in the Keys. You told her on the phone that she asked you something in the Keys and you told her if she asked you now you would say yes. What was it?"
Ryan sniffed and brushed another tear from his cheek. "She asked me to marry her." Ryan took a shaky breathe. "Someone had called us Mr. and Mrs. Wolfe and she said that we should get married that night. I told her no, it wasn't the right time for that."
Horatio was genuinely surprised. "Did you mean it when you said you would say yes now?"
Ryan hesitated but nodded his head. "I love her so much. Sometimes I wonder what out life would have been like if I had said yes."
Horatio took Ryan's hand in his own. "We would still be here, this would still be happening, and it would be even more difficult to endure this."
Ryan broke again and the tears started falling again. He allowed Horatio to pull him against his shoulder into his arms. Horatio felt Ryan's tears soak into his jacket.
"Did she at least get on one knee?" Horatio jokingly asked.
Ryan couldn't help but chuckle. "No and she didn't even have a ring for me."
Horatio released Ryan from his arms. Horatio squeezed his shoulder reassuringly.
"What would you have done if I had said yes?" Ryan asked.
Horatio stood there, unsure of what to say. "Well, I really don't know. I would have been happy for the two of you. Maybe not happy with the hasty decision, but I would have still been supportive."
"Thank you H." Ryan said.
Ryan straightened up and picked up his glock. "H, can I ask you something?"
"Anything" Horatio responded.
Ryan unclipped the magazine of his glock. "Where are my bullets?"
Horatio looked at Ryan with a concerned expression. "Tommy told me James had marked himself for death. He wanted me to kill him."
"So you took my ammo because you didn't think you could trust me. You didn't think I would have the self control to not shoot James."
Horatio's eyes filled with sorrow. "I couldn't take a chance of you shooting him. That would have meant James had won. But if it makes a difference…" Horatio pulled out his magazine, it was empty. "I didn't trust myself either."
Ryan and Horatio walked into the crime lab the next day to find the team getting ready to leave.
"What's going on?" Horatio asked.
"We're headed out to process the crime scene and Jessica." Calleigh answered, "Natalia and I are going to the hospital to document Jessica's injuries and talk to Alexx about the surgery she had to undergo."
"And Cardoza and I are going to the dock to process the boat." Eric said.
Horatio nodded his head. "Alright, just call if you need anything. Come on Ryan." But Ryan didn't move. He stood there looking at Eric's kit.
"H, can I go with Eric and Jesse?" he asked.
Horatio shook his head. "I'm sorry Ryan, not only would it be a conflict of interest but I don't think you need to see that place."
"Please H?"
"No Ryan and that's final! You can help me fill out paperwork. We both need something boring to keep our minds off of Jessica."
Ryan sighed and followed his boss to his office. "This sucks."
Horatio couldn't help but chuckle. "You've been spending too much time with Jessie Bug."
Natalia and Calleigh followed Alexx and a nurse named Pat into Jessica's room.
"Baby girl has some extremely extensive injuries." Alexx said, "I think it would be best if I explained them as you document them." Alexx stopped talking and covered her mouth with her hand. Tears formed in her eyes as she looked at Jessica. "I'm sorry, this has been just so difficult. I've been so worried about her and the chief has been on my case since she was admitted."
"What's wrong Alexx?" Calleigh asked.
"I may have told the chief to fuck himself when he tried to remove me from this case. I told him there are more important things in life than a job."
"He was going to fire you?"
Alexx nodded her head. "For insubordination; he tried to take me off this case and I told him no, Jessie Bug is more important to me than anything else."
Calleigh squeezed Alexx's shoulder. "Let's get started, the sooner we get this done the sooner we can bring Jessica justice."
Jesse and Eric walked onto the fishing boat and were met with a grueling sight. There was blood everywhere on the deck and bits of flesh and internal organs.
"My god," Jesse said, "And this was just Jessica's doing?"
"Yeah, but it was self defense. They tortured her and she snapped and attacked them back."
"The poor girl, I can't image what she went threw."
Three hours later they finally finished processing the deck and collecting evidence.
"Shall we go down below?" Jesse asked.
"Yeah, not that either of us wants to." Eric said soberly.
They walked down the stairs and the smell that meant them was unbearable. Dried blood was everywhere and there was needles scattered around the room. There was a bloody mass lying in a corner. Eric walked over and looked down.
"Oh god" he muttered.
"What is it?" Jesse asked, walking up next to him.
"I'm hoping it's just a placenta or else Jessie might be missing something." Eric lifted his camera and took a picture. "And from the looks of it it's been here for a few days, which is probably the source of the rotting smell."
Jesse shook his head in disgust. "I hope Horatio is able to have this guy prosecuted." Jesse looked around the room. "You start over here and I'll start on that side?"
"Yeah" Eric said, snapping more pictures of the room.
They collected evidence and took pictures. Eric snapped a picture of a colorful striped thong on the floor. He picked it up and looked it over.
"I'm going to guess this belongs to Jessica, orange and pink don't seem like they'd be James's colors." He placed the thong in a plastic bag and tossed it with the rest of the evidence he had collected. A thought crossed Eric's mind and a sudden feeling of disgust more came him.
"She's my niece." he muttered.
"What?" Jesse asked.
"Jessica, she's my niece."
Jesse was confused. "How?"
"Horatio married my sister, Marisol. She died four years ago. Technically Horatio is still my brother-in-law because he and Marisol were still married when she was shot. That means Jessica is my niece. Oh god."
"You going to be ok?" Jesse asked.
"Yeah, I think so. It's just so difficult knowing that this is my family that he hurt. I mean, yeah the team is kind of a family but this girl is my family." Eric looked at Jesse. "You don't think this is going to be conflict of interest, do you?"
Jesse thought it over. "You know, I'm not sure. She's not related by blood and Horatio is a widower so the court might see it that way. Maybe just don't bring it up and hope for the best?"
Eric slowly nodded his head. "I hope so."
Horatio was sitting at his desk, trying to take care of some paperwork that he needed to have finished. It was the day after Jessica had been found and his desk was already swamped with cases and warrants that needed to be filled out. Calleigh and Walter had volunteered to take care of it and have it waiting for Horatio to look over and sign off when he returned from the hospital. "Horatio you need to be with Jessica right now." Calleigh had said, "Walter and I will take care of this for you. She needs you more than anyone right now."
Horatio's phone buzzed. He looked down to see the number from the morgue flashing.
"Caine" he said as he answered.
"Horatio it's Tom. Can you come down to the morgue? I have something I want to show you."
"Yeah, I'll be right down."
"Can you bring Ryan with you? I think you both need to hear this."
Horatio was concerned with Tom's statement. "Yeah, I'll find him."
Horatio hung up his phone and wandered down the hall to find Ryan. He had released the younger man to go take a break from helping him, in hopes Ryan's mood would lighten after being denied a chance to go to the crime scene. He found Ryan sitting at the table in the break room with a cup of coffee in his hand. There was a magazine in front of him but it seemed Ryan had long stopped reading it.
"Ryan," Horatio said, walking into the room, "Tom wants us in the morgue."
Ryan looked at Horatio with his large hazel eyes. "What about?"
Horatio shook his head. "I don't know, he wouldn't say. The only thing he told me was that he wanted us both there."
Ryan stood from his chair and walked over to the door. "Alright."
They made their way down to the morgue. Tom was standing at one of the stainless steel tables. At first it appeared empty, but when they got closer Horatio could see something small and flesh colored sitting on the table. His heart clenched when he realized what it was. Horatio stopped at the table and looked down at the painful sight of his granddaughter. Tom had been performing an autopsy on her.
"Horatio, I wanted to tell you about some of my finding. I'm sorry you have to see her this way, but something struck me when I looked at her." Tom started to explain. "See how large her forehead and the bridge of her nose are?" Horatio nodded his head. "Can you also see that her tongue is ever so slightly protruding past her lips?" Horatio leaned in to get a better look and nodded.
"Well I couldn't help but wonder about something." Tom continued on. "These physical characteristics are just three of the most common you find in individuals who developed with an extra copy of the twenty-first chromosome. I took a sample and sent it to DNA for testing and it turns out my hunch was correct. Jessica and Ryan's child had an extra chromosome twenty-one."
Tom handed Horatio a print out and he looked over it briefly. "Downs syndrome."
Tom nodded his head. "And that isn't the only thing I found. I also noticed that her head wasn't the correct shape for a child with Downs syndrome. When I opened her skull I found this." Tom pulled back the delicate skull of the tiny child. "See how her brain is more circular than oval shaped? That's because she's missing part of her frontal lube."
Ryan looked at Tom with a shocked expression. "But what would cause that?"
Tom sighed and looked at him. "I know it wasn't intentional. I know Jessica would never do something like that. I tried to find another answer, but I couldn't."
"What?" Ryan pressed.
"The only thing that I've been able to determine that could cause this lack of development is fetal alcohol syndrome."
Ryan felt his heart break. "My god." he said, as he covered his mouth with his hand.
"Are you sure nothing else could have caused this, Tom?" Horatio asked, placing his hand on Ryan's shoulder.
Tom shook his head. "Like I said I know Jessica would never intentionally put her baby at risk. Natalia said Jessica was seventeen weeks along and that she had only just learned she was pregnant a little over a month ago. That means there was two to three months that Jessica was completely clueless she was pregnant. My guess is she had a few drinks during her first few months and that's what caused this." Tom looked at Ryan. "It couldn't have been her fault."
"Tom," Horatio said, "If this child had made it through the gestation period and had been born how would having Downs syndrome and fetal alcohol syndrome affect her development as a child?"
Tom sighed again. "She would have needed around the clock care. She wouldn't have been able to take care of her self. She would probably be wheelchair bound, have to eat through a feeding tube, and been in diapers her entire life."
"How long would she have lived?" Ryan asked.
Tom's face became pained and he shook his head. "She would have only lived somewhere between five to eight years. It would have been a difficult life for her, too."
Ryan blinked back tears. He couldn't help but feel Tom was telling him his daughter would have been more of a burden than a joy. "I would have loved her anyway."
Tom gave him a weak but caring smile. "I know you would have. You're a good man Ryan Wolfe. That's what she would have needed, too. Caring, patient, loving parents, everything you and Jessica would have been to her."
Horatio squeezed Ryan's shoulder. "How about we go see our girl now?"
Ryan nodded his head. "Yeah, I think I need her."