Chapter 14

Thank you for the reviews again, even the critical ones because I do appreciate constructive criticism as much as other reviews.

He spotted her through the window of the café, he could see why she liked going there; it reminded him of his mom's café.

"Hey," he said softly as he sat opposite her where she was looking down at her cup of coffee.

"How did you find me?" she asked him and he could hear in her voice that she could start crying any minute, or maybe she had just stopped, either way he knew that he was responsible and that pained him more than he cared to admit.

"I went to your office and you weren't there so I called Brooke and she said you might be here," he explained and the realisation that he was no longer the person who knew her best made him frown.

She just nodded and he noticed that she still hadn't looked at him.

"I'm not sleeping with Lindsey," he told her quietly. "We had a relationship that ended a while ago and we've just been friends ever since."

"So why was she kissing you?" she asked him and he could hear the tears in her voice without even seeing her eyes. He wasn't entirely sure why she was crying, she'd been doing a lot of that lately. He just didn't understand why she was so upset, it's not as though she had feelings for him or anything and their relationship wasn't real.

"I don't know," he responded honestly. "I think she was jealous that I'm married to you. She thinks I cheated on her with you."

"Well it's not like that's completely ridiculous," she said sadly. "After what you wrote in that book I don't blame her."

"It's not like that," he defended.

"Really?" she asked unbelievingly, he saw her look up but at the last minute she turned her head to the side so it appeared as though she was staring out of the window. "Do you know what it was like to see my dad after he read that book? After he read it and believed that I did all of those things in there?"

"Peyton I…" He closed his eyes and wished he could be anywhere else.

"You didn't think about that?" she asked him, finally looking at him with heart-breaking tears in her eyes. "You told the whole world that I slept with you when you were with Brooke, that it went on for months behind her back and you didn't even think about all of the people who might read it?"

"I don't know what to say." He hated himself, truly hated himself in that moment because he hadn't thought of the consequences, he was pissed off and selfish and he'd written things that he never dreamed he would. He hated that he'd done that.

"What about the other things you wrote? About the drugs and my friendship with Brooke?" she asked him tearfully. "What about all of the things you said about us? You made me a desperate love interest whose main aim in life was to find a way to have sex with you."

"I'm sorry Peyton," he finally managed to get the words out even though he had the feeling that they were much too late, the damage had already been done.

"Are you really?" she asked him sceptically.

"Of course I am," he told her honestly. "I was just hurt and bitter and if I could do it over again then I would do it differently."

She nodded although he could tell that his apology could never make up for what he did and that thought was more than his heart could handle.

"So where do we go from here?"

"You can't be serious?"

"Please don't Brooke," she pleaded over the phone with her best friend.

"Peyton he's leaving for three months on Friday and you're not even going to tell him?"

"I am going to tell him," she defended. "Things are just too weird at the moment."

"Yeah you also said that a month ago when you told me," Brooke pointed out.

"Well things are even weirder now," Peyton sighed.

"This is getting ridiculous," Brooke said.

"It's not like I have to do it face to face," she suggested.

"So what you're going to call him? Send him an email?" she questioned sarcastically, "That's really how you're going to tell Lucas that he's going to be a father?"

"Maybe I'll just wait until he gets home then, I mean three months isn't that long." She didn't even believe her own lies, she knew that the longer she kept this lie, the worse it was going to be.

"So you're going to wait until you're almost seven months pregnant to tell him that you're having his baby?" Brooke asked and she knew it sounded ridiculous. "What is was he just going to come home one day and find you with a huge stomach?"

"I don't know okay but until you're pregnant by a guy you're not in a relationship with then you can't judge me for these decisions."

"I hate to break it to you but I think the marriage certificate means that you are in at least some sort of relationship with him."

"Brooke I…" she began.

"No Peyton," Brooke interrupted. "In a couple of months you're not going to be able to hide that bump anymore and people will start noticing, wouldn't it be worse if Lucas found out from someone who wasn't you?"

She sighed and didn't know how to respond because Brooke was telling her all of the things that the voices in her head had been and she'd been trying so hard to ignore them. She knew that if she didn't tell Lucas soon then Haley would, as it was she got a phone call from her every other day begging her to tell him because she couldn't keep it a secret anymore.

"It's not like I haven't tried." She could hear the defensiveness in her own voice. "Lucas would know by now if it wasn't for that bitch Lindsey."

"Well someone sounds jealous," Brooke commented with a laugh that made Peyton want to give her the meanest death glare she could.

She was not jealous. So what if she thought that Lindsey was a bitch? She had been kissing someone else's husband, her husband to be exact. That was a bitchy move as far as she was concerned. She couldn't believe that Lucas had ever been in a relationship with someone so bitchy in the first place.

"I'm not jealous of Lindsey."

"You so are!" Brooke practically squealed down the phone. "You're totally in love with him again."

"No I'm not!" she defended herself. What Brooke was saying was ridiculous. Apparently calling Lindsey a bitch meant that she was in love with Lucas? No. Okay maybe every now and then he'd do something sweet and remind her of the boy she'd loved with all of her heart but to be in love with him now? That couldn't happen, it just couldn't.

"Whatever you at least have feelings for him," Brooke insisted.

"No I don't, just because I don't like Lindsey it does not mean that I have any sort of feelings for Lucas."

"I wonder if he loves you too?" Brooke questioned excitedly.

"Okay now you've completely lost your mind," Peyton dismissed her claims. There was no way that Lucas had feelings for her, he practically ignored her most of the time.

"Whatever," Brooke said clearly not convinced, Peyton could just see her planning a real wedding for them in her head. "Anyway I have to go now because I have a meeting with the caterer but seriously we're talking about this later."

Peyton just sighed and laid back on her bed. She hated the fact that all she could think about was Brooke's determination that she still had feelings for Lucas, it was absolutely ridiculous. How stupid would she be to have feelings for him now after everything that had happened between the two of them? She wouldn't be that girl.

"Hey," Lucas said as he entered Peyton's room with his suitcase in hand. "Um my cab's here."

"Oh, I guess this is goodbye then," she said uncertainly.

"Well yeah but it's only three months," he replied.

They'd been on shaky ground since their argument, she'd been avoiding him and he'd been doing a lot of press about his book so he hadn't been around as much the previous week. Now she wasn't going to see him for three months and she had no idea what to say to him, in the back of her mind she considered the words 'I'm pregnant' but then quickly decided against it.

"So I'll uh- see you in three months then," he said in the realisation that she wasn't going to reply to him.

"Yeah I guess so," she whispered even though she knew that in all likelihood it would be before then when she finally decided to tell him about his impending fatherhood.

"Can you just do me a favour while I'm away?" he asked her and the expression on his face told her that there was a possibility that he was about to ruin their last moments together but he just couldn't resist.

"Depends on what it is," she stated ambiguously.

"Think about starting a label."

She was shocked. Of all of the things he could have asked her, like watering the plants and feeding his fish (because she always forgot both tasks when he was away for a few days) he had asked her the one thing that she wasn't expecting.

"Lucas," she breathed out. "It's not as simple as just starting a label."

"Yes it is and we both know that this is something you would be great at, Brooke could help you out financially or I could, you know, since we're married and all."

She couldn't help but laugh at his enthusiasm, he made it all seem less complicated.

"You can do this Peyton and I'm not asking you to quit your job tomorrow or anything but just consider how awesome you would be at this."

Those were his parting words as he left her room, closing the door behind him and she heard him leave the apartment knowing that he wouldn't be returning for another three months.

She lay back on her bed with her hands resting on her growing stomach and did what he had asked her to; she thought about it.

I'm not sure how frequent my updates will be for the next month because in case you haven't noticed it's nearly christmas and after that I have a poster that I have to do (sounds simple, it's really not!) but I'll try, I promise!