Pleasure to burn - Chapter Fourteen
Author: Howlynn
Realm: The Hunger Games, Suzanne Collins
Story Title: Pleasure to burn14
Summary: Gale and Katniss out of the frying pan into the fire. Haymitch causing trouble.
Character/Relationships:
I Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Author note: If you see a typo, please point it out – specifically.
Katniss and Gale had no choice but to follow along as the damage to the tunnel was surveyed. The vapor lock door was bowed and sunk into rubble as tall as eye level. Plutarch had two men climb the mess carefully and shine light through the door cracks to see if it was worth digging it out.
"No Good Commander. The other side is worse."
Plutarch frowns. He looks at his map laying it out carefully on a flat slab of fallen debris. "They have closed us off from our forces. Here's the problem. We can get out but Coin's territory is in this sector. We will emerge right in the center of her beehive. That could be as deadly as sitting here waiting for our guys to reach us."
"Are you saying we are fighting Coin? Isn't she in charge? Who is on our side?" Gale asks.
"Well, we have about 800 people from 12 along with about forty percent of her own people and most of the immigrant population. It seems our savior has made a lot of enemies among her own. And Deep13 wasn't just full of district 12 and capitol detainees. We discovered hundreds of people who had been turned into slaves. Some were criminals, but who cares if the scary bad guys are on our side. We have a pretty matched force. She was secretly arresting our prominent citizens, such as yourself and she claimed the Mockingjay had been spying for the capitol." Plutarch explains with a wry grin at Katniss thinking that was a fine joke considering what had been done to her by her supposed allies.
"What? How could anyone believe—" Gales voice is dry and his eyes are fiery red. Katniss sips water trying not to be greedy and handing the bottle to Gale.
"Oh she claims you have allegiance to Snow because you carry his grandchild." Plutarch says.
"I do carry his grandchild," she says softly.
"Yes, Major Odair explained your situation right after he escaped and blew up her office. She didn't happen to be in it at the time, but it was an act of war and we sealed off what we could and have been pushing them into smaller quarters ever since."
"So, not only are we in the middle of war with the capitol, we are now fighting the people who welcomed us here?" Katniss asks aghast.
"Yes. There have been quite a few problems since the beginning. They came to a head three days ago when you, Hawthorne and Odair couldn't be located. When Abernathy vanished we began taking steps to secure our objectives?" Plutarch sniffs his nose punctuating his meaning.
"Haymitch was tortured?" Katniss' voice breaks.
"We don't know. I know they will do whatever they can for him. He's a tough old bird, Katniss. I have known him a long time and he's….well It's none of my business what's between you and him, but he's never been stronger. Since your games he's worked miracles. Right now I need you focused on getting out of here safely. I damned sure don't want to be the one to tell him I lost you. You sure you're up to moving?"
"I'd feel better if I had a weapon."
Plutarch smiles. "Well that's our downside. We didn't get the ordinance bunkers and we can give you all the rifles you could want, but unless you plan to hit them on the head with it, you're wasting your time."
"So we're going into this like lambs to slaughter?" Gale says looking over Plutarch's shoulder.
"Hey we got here. This is one hell of a team.."
"No, I don't mean it like that. Look these vent shafts are like a whole other highway. You have to get past the rotating veins but Nicky Mellark and I have been all over in these things. Look down two levels and just by this lock, there is no security in here. It isn't easy – but it's sure safer." Gale offers.
"Why have you been in the shafts?" Plutarch asks.
"I can only be in the mine so long every day. I go out. Surface. Most every night actually." He casts a guilty look at Katniss, having never invited her.
"But the angle…"
"There are holds. They are covered with lint and dirt, but if you know where to look, they are just covered in a hundred years of dust bunny. No need to fight when you have such bad odds and can live to fight a better battle. Pick your ground. Never on their terms." Gale says soft and far away.
Plutarch looks around. "We'll try it."
It took hours. The going was slow and filthy. Those who were the trailing climbers were literally so miserable coughing and trying to see in the falling grime that they almost wished for battle. The grit fell with every movement. Those with goggles have some advantage but by the time they emerged into their own defense zone, getting the itchy pollen ridden substance off was a first priority. Katniss hit the shower like her skin was on fire. She shrugged into the baggy offered clothing and rushed still wet and barefooted to her mother.
We have our fingers in the dyke. Hold steady. Don't let the torrent of melancholy and drear philosophy drown our world. We depend on you. I don't think you realize how important you are, to our happy world as it stands now. - Fahrenheit 451
"Haymitch?" she said grabbing her arm, nearly passing out with exertion and dehydration.
"Oh God, Katniss. We have been so worried. He's been asking for you." Her mother has tears in her eyes but quickly leads her to his room without any unkind comments.
"He's alive?" she asks wanting more than a yes or no.
"He is. But you better prepare yourself. It looks much worse than it is."
She didn't listen to anymore, she heard him. "Haymitch?" she shouts, running.
He is restrained and screaming her name like a wild animal. His face is swollen and shocking. His chest wound has soaked through his bandages but still he rages and struggles against the restraints like a lunatic. But she doesn't hesitate; she piles into the bed with him and butt in the air like a little kid, tries to find something to hug that is not bandaged. "I'm here. It's ok. Haymitch?" she can't hold back her tears as he looks at her eyes, desolate and blinking at her in disbelief.
"You're alive? Thank tommyknockers and sprites. Sweetheart? Let me see you. Are you ok?" his voice is hoarse and raspy.
She sits up on her knees and heels in his bed and nods. "They hurt you?" Her face crumples as she looks at the bandages.
"A bit. Little uglier. But here." He looks at her and smiles. His breath comes in rough gasps and he's shaking in his attempt to shift gears from insanity to mentor. His eyes roam over her in relief and he makes indistinguishable sounds that she matches as they both try to accept the other is alive.
She doesn't wait for him to say more. She leans over him knees at his side and arms braced on either side of his head before she presses her lips to his. It isn't a sweet kiss. It is filled with demanding passion. She sits back horrified and breath coming hard.
"What was that for, sweetheart?" he says cracked lips smiling.
"I thought you were dead. I thought. You need to get better." She says eyes darting all over him.
"Well it wasn't my idea to get headed off track here."
"Why were you screaming?"
"They told me it was over. I thought they meant. You weren't here and… I'm a little crazy I guess," He says embarrassed.
"But you're ok now?"
"I'll be just fine. Now." His eyes bore into hers.
"Don't get all freaky here but, a few hours ago, I wasn't very convinced I would ever see you again and.. I never told you. I love you." The last words are just a whisper and she has to look away to get them out.
"Oh, you just like having me tied up." He teases, tears marching down his cheeks ignored like rude children.
"Funny, I do actually. Because, you can't stop me. I have my own ideas of torture." She says letting her hand fall on his thigh and crawl upward suggestively.
His face grows serious. "Katniss, no."
She smiles. "Really? You don't have much choice here. What you get for being a naughty boy and needing to be restrained."
"Please, sweetheart. When I'm better." He drops his eyes.
She pulls her hand back for a second and studies his face. Without warning she flings his covers aside. She looks down and all she can say is, "Oh God." She looks at him and replaces the covers and very carefully she puts her head on his chest and tries to breath and swallow and deal with what she just saw. She fumbles for his restraints and still can't say anything as his arms slide around her. "W…why. Oh God."
"It's ok sweetheart. It's fixable. Had worse actually. They had to ramp up their fun on me a bit. If you're that desperate, I assure you. I have very nimble fingers." He whispers the last part to her and buries his face in her hair. He inhales her deeply.
"I'm sorry. They said they were going to…to death. How did you live?"
"I wish I could say skill or fortitude. But the truth is, I gave up. They showed me you hanging yourself in the dark. For me, they said. Told me you were dead. You carry my last link to Cinna. I just gave up, sweetheart, and then I woke up here. What did they do to you and Hawthorne?"
"No water or food," she says.
"Katniss. The baby. Get your mother. Now."
It was frowned upon and the gossip began to immediately fly, but Katniss was admitted and shared Haymitch's room. Gale was the first to arrive, just as she was settled and sporting two IV drips and being monitored with some contraption. He looked in the room, confused and exhausted. He sat in the guest chair waiting for the bustle to die down and only when a nurse couldn't wake him was he too admitted. Katniss and Haymitch insisted he be in the room with them and so once again the room was commotion and chaos.
Finnick's entrance lead to further activity and once Plutarch, Beetee and Prim arrived, the crowded room was pandemonium. Hospital procedures became shambles and finally a loud whistle gained the attention of all. Mrs. Everdeen stood glowering at the group. "If you do not need to be here, kindly take your leave. This is a hospital, not a bar."
The quiet settled in the room. She ate spinach and creamy potatos. Katniss looked over at Haymitch. "I slept with Gale," she says wondering how he will react. Her eyes bounce onto Gale's sleeping form and then back to her mentor's. There is guilt in her eyes.
His eyebrows raise but he shakes his head as if it is no surprise. "What do you want me to say about that, sweetheart? Want me to be jealous?"
Katniss laughs. She pushes the button to lift the head of her bed. "Maybe. Just a little. Are you?"
Haymitch throws his head back and laughs. "Maybe. Only because I can't right now."
"I couldn't while I thought they were hurting you. But once I accepted that you had to be dead and that we would be soon. Plutarch rescued us like three minutes after. We had been in the dark so long, we couldn't even. God, they had to help us dress. The light was horrible," Katniss explains.
"How was he?"
Katniss blushes. "It was fine."
"Don't you dare marry him until a bit after I'm well. I have plans for my pretty bird," Haymitch orders eyes twinkling.
Katniss opens her eyes wide. "I am not going to marry any of you. I'm keeping all of you."
Haymitch snorts his nose and rolls his eyes. "Selfish, greedy little bitch."
"Just like my mentor."
He glares at her and she waits with just the hint of a smile for his comeback. He wipes his face and looks at her for a long moment. "Whatever you do, don't leave me, sweetheart. I'm nothing, if you die."
She looks away. She's not used to him saying such things so openly. She nods and under her breath just manages to admit, "Me too, Hay. It pisses me off that I'm so weak."
"No. We make each other," he shakes his head and shifts himself to turn her way, "Better. You make all this shit matter and I don't think it really is weakness. Not for me."
"But I fell apart. I'm useless. I just walked into the trap and would've done anything, right or wrong, to make them stop hurting you. I'm sorry I let you down." Katniss' face is sharp with disgust.
"Don't you ever say that. You've never let me down. I'm the one who let Peeta get captured. They're all suffering because of me. I put you in this position. I put you in this danger and I deserve every bit of this." He gestures to his injuries.
"Don't be stupid. Peeta and I both would be dead right now. Finn might have made it. He was meant to win. The rest of us would be long gone. If you hadn't tried at all, you'd be passed out after having to give that speech you do for your tributes funerals every year. You'd be heading to the Hob right now to look for trouble or off sporting until someone beat you up. You did it every year. Darius used to say you would be found desiccated like pickled leather someday."
Haymitch nodded. "No. That was just a little fun. I always knew I'd die in the Capitol. They'd either execute me or sell me to someone like Cinna used to be. Either way, I'd die screaming. I wondered if I did all this to save you and Peeta or just myself."
"You never did anything for yourself." She looks at him and sighs. "That isn't who you are. That's just who you pretend to be. Only fools can't see past all your fake mean."
"Until this. I didn't see past it?" He winks at her.
"Foolish old fart." She lays her head back but keeps meeting his gaze. She lets her face soften and the corners of her mouth lift slightly. She releases a huge sigh that conveys relief and contentment that no matter what, as long as Haymitch is around to help her, there is hope in her world.
"Try to rest. We have work to do. Need to get this mess under control so we can go get that boy of yours." He closes his eyes as he speaks.
Pain crosses her face. "Do you think he's still alive?"
"I have no doubt of any kind. They wouldn't kill him without putting his death on display. They would want to make us suffer. Trust me. He may be in a world of shit, but he's still alive."
"Why is it," he said, one time, at the subway entrance, "I feel I've known you so many years?"
"Because I like you," she said, "and I don't want anything from you."
― Ray Bradbury, Fahrenheit 451
A day and a half later, Katniss and Gale were dismissed. Haymitch, trussed up like a mummy and being wheeled carefully by an attendant could be found in the makeshift command center that had served as hospital visitor lounge days before. Finnick Odair wore a grim face as he explained positions to Gale and Haymitch.
During a break in strategy Finn slid his arms around Katniss from behind. He pulled her to him and she pretended irritation. "I thought you were done with the crazy routine, Finn? I like your uniform though. Never seen you in so many cloths."
He chuckles in her ear and whispers, "Bet you could get me out of them if you talked your mom into slipping you a little sedative you could sneak into my coffee." He pulled her braid aside and kisses her neck.
"I bet I could get you out of them without it too." She shivers a little at his breath on her skin. "Thanks for saving me."
"Mmmmph. You owe me now, Mockingjay," He whispers seductively.
She turns and glares at him, raising an eyebrow. "I already molested you. I would think we were even."
"No fair. I had to watch the replay. This time, I get to play too."
"Pretty confident the answer would be yes? Maybe I don't like Fish."
"Play coy all you want, baby. I have a whole pond of them at my townhouse. Coy are tame little fish and you already proved you like a little seafood in your diet. Or is your dance card all filled up with tall, dark and stealthy over there? I know Haymitch is out of commission for a while. Sucks to be him," Finnick asks with calm serious intent.
"Not full. Just not available on demand either," she says firmly.
Finn steps away and she turns to look at him. His jaw works as if he's angry. "Whatever." He shrugs and looks at her with cold eyes.
"Finn? What…"
"Forget it. Just joking around." He smirks and walks away just as Gale walks up glowering in his direction.
"You see past that ass-candy jerk don't you Catnip?" Gale asks, arms crossed in disapproval.
She turns and looks at him with a sigh. "You'd like him if you got to know him," she says with careful modulation.
"No. I wouldn't. He's a user. He's not real and I don't trust him." Gale tilts his head appraising the impact of his words on her.
Her head drops slightly as her eyes meet his. "Please tell me you're not going to get all possessive."
Gale sucks a breath in and holds it for a second. "My mistake. Thought it meant something." He tries to brush by her but she moves into his path.
"It did. It meant a lot, but it—"
"No. Don't. I am not playing Katniss roulette. The competition is playing by different rules than me. I told you my game. You get yours settled? Let me know," he says, teeth clenched in anger. He turns the other way not letting her say anymore.
[Fire's] real beauty is that it destroys responsibility and consequences. A problem gets too burdensome, then into the furnace with it. - Fahrenheit 451
She sighs and flops down in a corner in frustration. She peeks over at Haymitch. His eyes flick away from her but there is a wry curl to the corners of his lips. She stands up and leaves, not sure where she's headed. She just wants a moment alone. Life is too complicated for all this crap. She ducks into a dark storage closet and closes the door softly. Her head rests on the door as she quietly engages the lock.
The snuffle behind her sends chills up her spine. She turns in fear and fumbles for a light switch. Before she finds it a familiar voice growls, "Can't you just leave me alone?"
"Finnick?" she says into the blackness. Her hand closes on the switch and she flicks the tiny room into brilliance.
"Get out Katniss," he says with hatred.
Her eyes fall on him and her mouth opens, but no sound escapes. Finn is shirtless and splayed sideways on the floor, leaning on a pile of filthy rags. His arm is extended and he is shuddering as his eyes roll into his head. The needle in his arm is grasped in his hand as he desperately tries to finish pushing the plunger. She doesn't know what he's doing but her instincts sense danger and she lunges at him knocking the syringe from his hand and kicking it away.
"What the hell are you doing?" She grabs him by the shoulders and looks in his face.
"Fuck. You Bitch!" he hisses.
"Finnick. What –" there is a scramble for the spinning needle. Katniss reaches it first and stands up holding it high. "What are you doing?" she repeats in terror.
"Give it back. I'm not finished. And what difference does it make to you?"
Angry, Katniss breaks the needle off and tosses the pieces at him. "There. Are you some kind of addict?"
Finnick laughs halfheartedly and picks up the broken plunger. "Dammit. Damned you. What do you want? How did you know I was here?"
Katniss steps toward him not taking her eyes off him. "Finn, I'm scared. Please. What does this mean? I'm stupid. Is this about you and me?"
"Poseidon's balls." He says less angry, but now annoyed. "You and me?" he snorts, "You might want to check that ego Mockingjay. You're nothing to me."
The words hurt her feelings but she still doesn't understand. "I am so something to you. I'm your friend."
"I don't have any."
"Ok? Then what was all that dance card crap out there, then here you are…like this? Favor my big ego with some wisdom or I'm getting Haymitch. He'll know what's going on here. He's not your friend either I suppose?"
Finn's eyes lock on her, more clear and pleading. "Don't get Haymitch. Please. This would hurt him. Please Katniss. Please."
She sits there for a minute and then blurts, "You were trying to kill yourself, weren't you?"
He nods, eyes dropping to his hands.
"Why? Finnick. You want sex and because someone turns you down you sneak off to die?"
"Don't be ridiculous. Had nothing to do with that. Sex is just a way to hold on for a few minutes. Not about you or getting turned down. I was just. I was..I don't know. Done and you were there and…I don't know. I can't look at him. What they did to him. I can't survive them doing that shit to her. It's worse in the capitol. At night I hear her screaming. I don't sleep. I wish she were dead. If I was, she'd know and …" he looks at the ceiling. "It's the only way I can think of to save her, Katniss. She will know I'm dead, and it will break her heart and then they can't hurt her anymore. You owe me. Kill me. Save her."
"You don't know what you're saying. I have to get Haymitch."
"No. They will lock me up again. No. I'll break you in half if you try it." He clamps his hand on her arm and his eyes are forceful with livid passion. He pulls her down to him and grins as he clamps his mouth to hers. She struggles fearfully but his arms are like iron.
"Finnick no." It comes out as a whimper, abysmal and helpless.
He looks at her and seems to realize what he's doing. "I'd never hurt you." He releases her and sighs in despair.
She scrambles away from him and gathers her thoughts watching him. He makes no move to stop her if she wants to leave now. "I don't mean no ever. Just no like that. And like this. Finn what can I do? I can't let you. She will be ok. Haymitch says Peeta is alive. If he is, he will protect her all he can. That's who he is. He can't even help it. You only need to worry about her if Peeta's dead. He'll make them hurt him instead, no matter what they do. He'll take it and make them. I swear on my life he will help her."
"No he won't. He doesn't even know her."
"But he knows you. He owes you. He won't let you down. You do have friends. I think Johanna likes you too."
"Jo will help her too. For me." He nods.
"See? And what could we say to her if they rescue them and you…did this?"
"I'm sorry."
Katniss waits. "I don't think that would be enough, Finn."
Katniss helps Finn to his quarters and tucks him in bed. She sits on the edge of his bed and lets her fingers make gentle movement on his back as he weeps into his pillow. She feels like she is sitting with a little boy and as he curls around her knee and quietly shudders; she finds comforting him isn't even uncomfortable. It just feels right. She remembers when he held her during her worst moments the night before the launch and it doesn't bother her to see him in pain. Somehow it makes her like him more that he trusts her enough to let her be there for him.
Finnick sleeps. Katniss just sits there looking at him. She is too afraid that whatever he took will finish the job he started and she counts his breaths and his pulse to make sure neither slows to the point she really will have to tattle on him. She isn't sure keeping this a secret is the right thing to do, but after her own ordeal, and how she reacted, she doesn't feel qualified to be very judgmental.
If Gale hadn't been mad. If Haymitch hadn't been wearing that smile proclaiming sarcasm ahead, there would be tears right now. This beautiful man would probably have slipped away from them. All her life she'd seen his face as the most glamorous of all people and yet the person she knew was so far away from that image. What kind of end would it be to have found him overdosed in a pile of dirty rags? Gale was wrong about him.
Haymitch would have never forgiven himself. She would stand at his casket blaming herself, wondering if she her rejection had been his tipping of the bucket. Not her fault, but a pebble in the pile. Tears welled and escaped as her mind made up these images for her to scrutinize.
That Capitol version of him is as fake as her Mockingjay, but no egotistical phony would choose to die in a pile of rags thinking they didn't have one fucking friend. That was the real man. That pathetic pitiful sweet being was her friend. Katniss played with his hair as she contemplated that loving things inescapably will always mean you are in danger of pain when they get hurt or are lost forever.
Finnick could hurt her. That means she loves him too. "Not just because you're pretty either, dumbass," she whispers with a smile.
Montag has traded indifference for passion. He wants to bring back the days when books were acceptable parts of society. He forms a crazy plan to bring down the firemen establishment so that books can be brought back again. In his frenzy, he no longer cares if he dies because it's worth it to him to die trying to save books. - Fahrenheit 451
A knock sounds on the door. "Hey Odair! Abernathy wants to know if your boinking his Mockingjay!"
Katniss growls as she flings open the door. "Tell Haymitch yes. Tell him there is a capitol party going on here and The Mockingjay requests his burnt old ass to come direct the activity!"
Again, updates will be slow for a while. Thanks for hanging in there!