I'm here again
A thousand miles away from you
A broken mess, just scattered pieces of who I am
I tried so hard
Thought I could do this on my own
I've lost so much along the way
Nathan or Lucas? Nathan or Lucas? Her brain was having a hard time comprehending the events that had just unfolded over the past two days. Who did she pick, Nathan or Lucas? Lucas was the obvious choice because she loved him and he loved her but she wasn't sure if she could ever give her heart to Lucas again. It was just too risky and suffering another heartbreak was out of the question. If she were to choose Lucas she had to be one hundred percent sure that it was worth it. She had never thought about Nathan in that way before. Nathan was like a brother to her and he was supposed to love Haley not her. However, she and Nathan were so alike and she could relate to him better than anyone. She trusted him more than anyone and was pretty confident that he would stay faithful to her. Nathan was a good guy and honestly she could see herself being with Nathan. It wasn't too farfetched. Why the hell was this so damn hard? She knew she had to make a choice soon and it wasn't going to be an easy one. Someone was going to get hurt and she didn't want to be the barrier that stood in the way of Lucas and Nathan's relationship. They were brothers and they were in love with the same girl. They were both in love with her and she was pretty sure that to some degree she was in love with both of them as well.
Peyton Sawyer could not believe that Nathan and Brooke had gotten together behind her back. She felt broken and betrayed, like she meant nothing to either of them. She felt like Brooke Davis did every single day of her life. Feeling this pain actually made her realize how much she had hurt Brooke. It was almost unbearable knowing that someone who supposedly loved you and someone who was like a sister to you could do something so horrible to you.
BANG BANG
The sound of a fist connecting with the door broke Peyton out of her thoughts and caused her to jolt upright, springing out of her bed to answer the door. Flying down the stairs, Peyton flung the door open, hoping to find someone like Haley. She was almost certain that Haley would come over, feeling betrayed by Nathan and needing a friend. Instead an uneasy looking Nathan Scott stood on her doorstep, a timid smile spread across his boyish face. "Bastard," the grieving blonde muttered under her breath.
"Peyton please let me explain," Nathan pried, not wanting to get yet another door slammed in his face. It had become a familiar feeling over the past few days.
"You lied to me and cheated on me with my best fucking friend. What else is there to explain? I trusted you and you betrayed me. Way to go Nathan," she growled. "Now I'd appreciate it if you just left." She tried to close the door but Nathan's strong hand stopped it and he walked inside, pushing past the broken blonde.
"Peyton, I never meant to hurt you. Brooke and I were only 15. We were drunk, lonely, and stupid. You and I were broken up and I found solace in the arms of Brooke Davis. It was wrong and you will never know how sorry I am," Nathan clarified gently, gazing into Peyton's teary green eyes as he spoke.
"It doesn't change what you did. Why didn't you tell me?" she demanded coldly, her eyes transforming into a deadly glare.
"I didn't want you to leave me Peyt," he answered quietly, looking at his feet as he spoke.
"Why didn't you tell me after Nate? Why didn't you tell me after we'd broken up and you moved onto Haley?"
"Because we had become such great friends Peyton and I didn't want to put a strain on that. I knew that telling you would cause tension between us and I didn't want to risk that. That is a part of my past that I tried to erase Peyton and it didn't mean anything to me."
"Whatever Nathan, I don't care. Things are never going to be the same. You and Brooke are dead to me," she hissed, trying to push her muscular brunette ex-boyfriend towards the door.
"Peyton, can I tell you something?" Nathan asked desperately. He didn't want to cut Peyton out of his life because she was an amazing friend and he knew that what she did with Lucas was wrong but she was still his Peyton. She was still the girl that he would go to when he was having Haley problems, before he and Brooke had become close. Secretly, he missed his friendship with Peyton and he wanted have her in his life again.
"What?" she asked clearly annoyed, as she tapped her foot against the floor impatiently.
"I'm in love with someone," he admitted, staring Peyton dead in the eyes.
"And why are you telling me this?"
"Because, I miss being able to talk to you about anything Peyt. We broke up on mutual terms but we were still friends and we managed to get past that. I came to you when I had problems with Haley or Lucas and I miss that."
"And now you have Brooke to run to," she grumbled harshly, narrowing her eyes at Nathan.
"Actually that's the thing. I already told Brooke about this. I just wanted your opinion," he smiled. "So what do you say? You ready to listen and comfort me?"
"Looks I don't have a choice do I?" she groaned, the sarcasm practically dripping off her tongue.
Nathan shook his head. "No you don't Sawyer."
"So who is this girl? Is it Haley? Because if it is, I can totally hook you guys up," Peyton rambled as she sat alongside Nathan on the couch.
"No it's not Haley. God why does everyone assume that I still love Haley?" he demanded, running a hand freely through his dark brunette locks.
"Because you do, and it is so obvious Nate," Peyton simply answered for him.
"No it's not because it isn't true. A piece of my heart will always be with Haley, but a piece of my heart will always be with you too and that doesn't mean that I still love you."
"True. But who else could it be if it's not Haley and it's not me?" Peyton asked, wanting an answer in the worst way.
"Promise you won't judge me?" he asked, holding his pinky finger out to Peyton in a childlike manner.
Peyton laughed and hooked her pinky with Nathan's. "Promise, unless she's a whore, then I might have to judge you."
"You might think she is," Nathan growled under his breath.
"Nate…"
"It's okay Peyt. You really want to know huh?"
"Yes, it's killing me Nate. If you don't love Haley, then I want to know who the hell had the ability to steal the great Nathan Scott's heart," she laughed. "But, seriously I want to know."
"Brooke," Nathan whispered his voice barely audible.
"What about Brooke?" Peyton questioned dumbly, blinking at Nathan in confusion.
"It's Brooke I love Peyton. She's the one," a smile spread across Nathan's face and Peyton's jaw dropped to the floor, causing her to nearly fall off the couch.
"Brooke…" Peyton questioned, not sure if she'd heard Nathan's answer correctly. "Please tell me you meant Brooke Shields or something like that."
Nathan shook his head. "You know exactly what Brooke I am talking about Peyton."
"Why is that all the guys I have ever loved fall for Brooke Davis? What the hell is so damn special about her?" Peyton demanded, running a hand through her blonde curls.
Nathan chuckled. "I don't think Jake fell for her."
"That we know of," Peyton responded harshly.
"Anyways you wanna know what's so special about Brooke?" Nathan questioned and Peyton nodded her head, curious to hear Nathan's answer.
"She is beautiful, not only on the inside but also on the outside. She has the most amazing personality and her ability to get through anything life throws at her is inspiring. She has this amazing energy that just makes me want to get closer to her. I can also relate to her because we are so much alike that it scares me. She intrigues me and always leaves me hanging and most importantly she sees the real me and I feel like I can tell her anything and she won't judge me."
"Wow, so you're really serious about this?" Peyton inquired upon seeing the huge goofy smile on Nathan's face as he spoke about Brooke. She hadn't seen Nathan this happy since him and Haley had gotten married.
He nodded his head. "Wow, so how did it happen then?"
Nathan shrugged causally. "It just kind of happened. Somewhere along the way between watching her fall down and become miserable and watching her struggle to cope with her life I fell in love with her."
"How did she take it?"
"Not well. She told me that she needed time to think about things. I'm afraid of losing her to Lucas," Nathan admitted. "I don't know if I could handle being second best because let's face it, Lucas will always occupying a huge part of her heart no matter what.
Peyton nodded. "I know how you feel. It seems inevitable to escape a love triangle with them. You fall in love with one of them and the other comes as a package deal. It sucks."
"It does," Nathan agreed, glancing at his ex. "How did you get over it?"
"Quite honestly I didn't. I will always have feelings for Lucas but I know it will never be mutual. He loves Brooke and I could never be second best either. I could never bear to know that the man I love will always love my best friend and that I could never compare to her or take her place. I guess I just learned that true love conquers all and I eventually gave up on trying to fight a battle that I was never going to win."
"Wow, Peyton that's uh… some pretty deep stuff," Nathan answered, not quite sure what to say. It was like she was discouraging him from being with Brooke.
Peyton must've sensed the awkwardness because she let out a long, heavy sigh. "Look, Nate I'm not trying to discourage you from loving Brooke, I just don't want to see you get hurt. Trust me, I know what it is like to be in your position and being on one side of the deadly Brooke/Lucas love triangle is not easy. Someone always ends up getting hurt and I don't want that person to be you Nate. I'm not sure that your heart could handle that again."
"Thanks Peyt," he mumbled as he wrapped his large muscular arms around the petite blonde. "You're a great friend and an even more amazing person. One day you are going to meet the right guy. I'm sorry that Lucas couldn't be it for you."
"It's okay Nate. Someday," she laughed, letting go of her brunette friend. It was so nice to have Nathan back in her life again. She felt like he had been distancing himself lately but maybe the release of the sextape was a sign that was meant to bring them back together. After all, Nathan was about the easiest person to talk to.
"Haley come on open up!" Brooke yelled, beating her tiny fist against Haley's front door. "I know you're in there.
"When are you going to get the hint that I don't want to talk to you?" Haley demanded, flinging the door open and sending Brooke a lethal glare.
"Never," Brooke smiled, pushing past Haley and entering the apartment that Nathan and Haley had once shared.
Haley frowned. "Seriously Brooke, I'm just not in the mood to talk to anyone."
"Does this have to do with well you know what?" Brooke asked awkwardly, referring to the sextape and its grand release.
When Haley nodded Brooke sighed. "I'm sorry Haley. It was a very long time ago and it meant nothing. It was an accident and in my defense you didn't even know Nathan back then so I didn't technically betray you."
"That's not it Brooke," Haley countered, shaking her brunette locks. "I know that it was a long time ago and I can't take that out on you considering I never knew either of you and I'm sure it was one of those things better left unsaid. It's just weird and I really don't want to think about it."
"Haley, you've been acting weird lately. You sure there isn't something else bothering you?" Brooke asked, putting a comforting hand on top of Haley's.
"It's Nathan. I just wish he would talk to me. I kind of lashed him out about the sextape the other night but I hadn't been thinking rationally and I was just upset at the moment."
Brooke nodded considerately. She did feel bad for Haley. "Why don't you try talking to Nathan?"
Haley shook her head. "I kind of get the feeling that he doesn't want to talk to me and I don't want to upset him."
"You might regret it if you don't. Just explain it all to him, I'm sure he'll understand"
"I suppose I could try," Haley answered solemnly.
"That a girl. Now let's go shopping. I've had an awful lot on my mind lately and I need to just think about other stuff," Brooke cracked a smile and linked her arm through Haley's.
"Looks like I don't have a choice," Haley mumbled sarcastically as Brooke drug her out the door.
"No you don't!"
After she got back from shopping with Haley, Brooke flopped down on her bed. She weighed her choices out again. Nathan or Lucas? Both of them had been there for her when she needed them the most. Tonight she was going to have to break one heart and relieve another but possibly put hers on the line. This decision was going to be one of the hardest choices she'd ever have to make in her life but she knew this could also be the missing piece in her redemption process. Filling a lonely void with love would likely distract her and not tempt her to turn back to her vices. Silently in her head Brooke pro and conned her two options in attempt to come up with an answer. After about 10 minutes of consideration Brooke knew her answer. The guy she was about to choose would always be number one in her heart, forever and always. There was no denying that he was the one for her. It just sucked that someone else had to get their heart broken in the process.
Brooke sucked in a deep breath as she walked up the familiar steps. This was it, this choice was going to define her for the rest of her life.
She waited patiently, shifting her feet awkwardly as she heard footsteps on the other side of the door. "Brooke it's so nice to see you," the lady squealed as she opened the door.
Brooke offered her a small smile and asked where her son was. "He's upstairs in his room. Go on up," she grinned, closing the door behind Brooke.
Brooke thanked her and trudged up the stairs slowly, not really wanting to do this but knowing she had to.
He was sitting on his bed flipping through a sports illustrated magazine when she entered quietly. She had to clear her throat for him to acknowledge her existence. "Brooke!" he smiled, patting the bed next to her.
Hesitantly she made her way over to the bed and clasped her fingers together, wondering how to go about this.
"Have you made up your mind yet?" he asked curiously, setting the magazine down and focusing on her, trying to decipher the look in her eyes. It was a mix of pain and agony. It looked like she was about to break someone's heart. He just hoped it wasn't his.
She nodded slowly. "I did. It took a lot of thinking and careful consideration but I did it."
"And..." he trailed off, bracing himself for the answer. It was either going to ruin his life or make him the happiest man alive.
"It was not easy and it kills me to break someone's heart. I don't want the outcome of my decision to affect anyone's friendship. I value my friendship with both of you so much and I know that you value your friendship with your brother as well."
"It won't affect anything I promise," he answered softly putting a hand on her shoulder. "I just want you to be happy and if it isn't with me then I understand."
Brooke nodded her head and suddenly a frenzy of tears spilled from her eyes. This was the hardest thing she'd ever had to do. "I'm sorry but I can't be with you. I'm in love with someone else."
"Brooke…" he croaked out, feeling like his heart had just been crushed by a freight train.
"One day you are going to find the right girl but that girl isn't me. A part of me will always love you but I love someone else more and I can't lie to you. It would kill me to lead you on. If Haley isn't the girl for you then she's out there somewhere I promise. I'm sorry that girl couldn't be me but my heart already belongs to someone else. I'm sorry but I can't do this Nathan,"
It killed him inside. So much that he could hardly breathe but he knew what he had to do.
"I love you Brooke, don't ever forget that but I need you to be happy. Go tell Lucas how you feel," he offered her a weak smile despite the fact that he felt like crying.
A tear slipped down Brooke's cheek. "What about you Nathan?" she asked, feeling extremely guilty.
"I'll be fine. Just go," he pointed towards the door and she nodded. "Goodbye Nathan,"
"Goodbye Brookie," he whispered, choking back his tears as she left his room, taking the guilt of breaking his heart with her.
I've come undone
But you make sense of who I am
Like puzzle pieces in your eye
Then I'll see your face
I know I'm finally yours
I find everything I thought I lost before
You call my name
I come to you in pieces
So you can make me whole
Lucas Scott tried to concentrate on his homework but he was having an extremely hard time. The thought of Brooke telling Nathan she wanted to be with him kept creeping into his mind. A faint knock on the door interrupted him from his thoughts and he let out a frustrated sigh as he got up and pulled the door open. Standing before him was Brooke Davis, looking so broken and in pain. Great, she's going to break my heart he thought.
"Lucas…" she breathed out, the look in her eyes breaking him. It was so painful and broken.
"Hey," he managed to croak out, letting her inside.
"I need to tell you something," she whispered quietly, her expression unreadable. Lucas had no clue what was going to happen.
"Okay," he gulped, afraid of her revelation.
"I just got back from Nathan's…" she started, her voice trailing off.
"And?" he questioned, desperate to know her answer.
"And, I told him that I couldn't be with him," she finished, a glint of guilt in her eyes. "I feel so bad for breaking his heart. He doesn't deserve it considering what he's been through but I couldn't lie to him."
Lucas felt so relieved, like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He couldn't help but feel sorry for Nathan though because he knew what rejection felt like and it was by no means a pleasant feeling.
Lucas stared at her blankly for a second before pulling her into his arms and stroking her soft hair. "It's okay Brooke. You did what you thought was right."
She nodded and pulled away from his embrace. "I love you," she whispered, tears glistening her perfect hazel eyes.
He almost looked shocked by her revelation. "It's so wrong but I can't help it. I need you Lucas because if I don't give you another chance I'm going to keep regretting it for the rest of my life. I don't want it to be just another what if."
A small smile spread across Lucas's face as he moved towards her. "I love you too pretty girl and I promise never to hurt you again. Without you my life doesn't mean anything. I need you," he whispered, leaning in so close that his hot breath tickled her neck, teasing her.
"Just shut up and kiss me," she smiled, her dimples coming back to life.
"I've missed those dimples," he grinned before closing the space between them. The kiss was long and passionate and everything that had been bottled up inside of them the last few months was finally released.
He pressed his forehead against Brooke's when he finally pulled away. "God I love you so much."
It was getting late, the clock read 10:41 and Brooke knew that she should be getting home but she didn't want to.
"Can I stay here with you tonight?" she asked, turning to Lucas and putting on her best puppy dog face.
"Of course you can," he smiled, leading her towards the bed.
In the dark two figures laid side by side, only the moonlight illuminating their faces. The neon numbers on the clock blinked 3:36 AM.
"Lucas, you awake?" Brooke questioned, nudging him in the ribs.
"I am now," he grumbled, removing his arm from Brooke's waist and rolling onto his side so he was facing the brunette beauty next to him. She looked so innocent as she stared up at him with those intriguing eyes of hers.
"What are you thinking about?" she asked, tracing a finger across his bare chest.
"You," he smiled, leaning over and gently placing a kiss on her temple, "And how much I love you."
Brooke cracked a smile, "I'm so glad I decided to give us a chance," she whispered, lacing her fingers with his. "See they fit perfectly."
"Can I ask you something?" Lucas asked, receiving a nod from the brunette next to him.
"What made you choose?"
Brooke smiled. "I think I could've loved Nathan but I don't feel the same way about him as I do about you. I don't get the same feeling around him as I do around you, I just don't feel that same spark."
"So your choice didn't have anything to do with not wanting to betray Haley?" Lucas asked honestly and Brooke shook her head. "No."
"I know that I would always be second best to Haley anyways. Nobody will ever be able to make Nathan feel the same way Haley made him feel. Besides, nobody makes me feel the way you do."
Lucas gave her a small smile. "Good because nobody certainly makes me feel the way you do. I'm so sorry for dating Peyton."
"It's fine Luke. We broke up and you went out and experienced someone else. I'm okay with that because in the end it brought me back to you," she smiled genuinely, gently laying her head on Lucas's chest.
"Do you feel that?" he questioned after a moment of silence.
Brooke shook her head. "Feel what?"
He brought her hand to his chest. "That," he referred to the sound of his heart beating at a rapid pace. "That's what you do to me pretty girl."
"You sure that's not just the HCM kicking in?" she smirked, glancing up at him.
He chuckled and shook his head, "Definitely not."
"You know I could lie like this forever," Lucas grinned, wrapping his arms around Brooke.
"Me too," she agreed, "But we should probably get some sleep."
Lucas nodded, "night pretty girl. I love you."
"I love you too Broody," she whispered, closing her eyes and listening to the steady sound of his heart beating against her warm body.
For the first time in months Brooke felt complete. She felt like she had a reason to wake up every morning and continue living her life. That reason was Lucas. He had saved her from herself and his love was the final piece of the puzzle called life. It was the thing that was going to save her and prevent her from relapsing again. Maybe it was what had been missing all along. Although the choice had been hard and had torn someone else's heart in half she knew she'd made the right decision.
AN: So there you have it! Brucas is endgame although they only won by a very small margin! The song is Pieces by Red. I had the most fun writing the Pathan scene because their friendship and relationship has always appealed to me. I also loved writing the Brucas scene and I must say although I was starting to really love Brathan, I am glad I took the Brucas route with this story. Next chapter will be a little Lucas/Nathan scene and possibly some Naley. The main thing in the next chapter will be a Brooke/Peyton scene, although I'm not going to say how it is going to play out! The next week is going to be crazy with finals approaching but I will try and update as soon as I can. I will also try updating my new story "Picking Up The Pieces" once this is finished but I don't want to focus on two stories at once. There are only about 4 chapters left with this story anyways! Please review and let me know what you think!