"Deacon…Deacon…Deacon…." He heard his name, and felt someone shaking him. He couldn't open his eyes. It was like the never ending nightmare he'd felt in the coma. He knew his loved ones were there, but he couldn't speak, couldn't open his eyes, and tell them he knew.
Everything was still a hazy fog. "Did Rayna die?" He felt and overwhelming sense of grief.
"DEACON! COME ON, WAKE UP!..." a now worried and more alarming sounding voice pleaded.
"I'M GETTING A NURSE…" the same voice said and he heard a door open, and close
His chest felt like it was being squeezed. He was soaked…his hair matted to his forehead. "Was it blood, sweat, rain?" He wasn't sure. He was struggling to breathe like he might drown. He couldn't get enough air.
He heard the door open again, and two different voices talking not to him, but each other…
"He's sweating, and unresponsive…I tried to wake him, but…"
"Relax, Ms. Hampton. He's fine. I put a sedative in his IV earlier. Let me remove his IV drip. He'll slowly wake up." The nurse said as she removed Deacon's IV.
"I'll get him a dry gown and dry sheets. Some people react with sweating to sedatives. It's nothing to be alarmed about."
He felt cooler, almost cold as someone sat him up, undressed him, redressed him, made a bed around him…the pillow was dry as his head was gently placed back on it.
"OK, he's dressed with fresh bedding. You can come back in Ms. Hampton. He's waking up."
"Deacon…" he felt a gentle touch on his shoulder as he slowly opened his eyes
"Rayna…where's Ray? Please, tell me she's OK?" he pleaded as he looked into his sister in laws eyes
"She's in recovery. There were some complications. They're going to move her to ICU soon." Tandy said as she rubbed his shoulder.
"Complications?" his eyes welled with new tears
"They had a really hard time stopping the blood flow. She's really weak, but she came through it. They're worried about infection. She's running a high fever."
"I need to see her." Deacon said as he tried to get up
"No, you need to take care of yourself, Deacon. She's going to need you, and Mason is going to need you if….." Tandy's eyes welled with tears.
"If…If WHAT? No…she might not….NO…" he slumped back against the pillow.
"The next 24 hours is going to be rough, but Doctor Finn is a good Doctor. She really seems to care. She's watching Rayna very closely."
"I wanna see her. If something happens….she needs to know I love her before…" he turned away from Tandy crying
"Deacon, she knows you love her. You've made her very happy over the years. I don't think there's a doubt in her mind about the fact that you love her." She tried to reassure him
"I need to see Mason. When I do see Ray, I wanna tell her about him. I need to know he's OK, before I tell her." He pleaded with Tandy to see his new son again.
"I'll get the nurse, and see what they say. You stay in that bed, Deacon Claybourne!" Tandy sternly warned him as she left the room.
"OK, Mr. Claybourne. We're gonna help you into the wheelchair. Your sister in law can take you to see your son." A woman who'd just started her 3rd shift job helped Deacon out of bed.
"I can walk. Is the damn chair really necessary?" he grumbled as they sat him in the chair
"Yes, you can probably walk, but you've had 6 hours of sedation. You've only been awake a couple hours. Hospital regulations." The new nurse explained
"Just cooperate, Deacon! You got your way! I'm taking you to see Mason!" an exhausted Tandy reasoned with him
"FINE!" he sniped sitting in the chair
"CAN I AT LEAST HAVE MY DAMN PANTS?" he barked
"Honestly, I don't know how my sister hasn't killed you." Tandy sniped back throwing his jeans at him
"I'm sorry. I don't mean to…." He swallowed a lump feeling bad for being difficult. Tandy had been at the hospital almost 24 hours with no sleep.
"Thank you for everything." He sniffled feeling emotional again
"It's OK. Everyone's on edge. It's been a rough day. Let's go see that handsome nephew of mine." She smiled as she wheeled Deacon to the elevator.
It was almost 6am. The nurse from the day before, Clare was gone. A new nurse took the 3am to 3pm shift with Mason. Jen, was holding a fussy Mason near his isolette trying to soothe him. The ventilator was off, but he still had wires and monitors and probes all over his little body.
"He can breathe on his own?" Deacon asked with tears in his eyes as Jen turned with a quietly crying Mason
"Yes, you must be daddy. They only used the ventilator on him for a few hours after birth to give him some time to relax and not put so much stress on him after the rough delivery. He needed to rest. He's doing great. Would you like to feed him?" she asked Deacon as another nurse came in with a bottle
"Yeah, I'd love to." Deacon said as Jen gently placed him on Deacon's lap careful of the wires and monitors.
Mason's color was a lot better. He was a plump pink baby now. Not the blue sickly looking little guy from yesterday afternoon. He stopped fussing as soon as he was in Deacon's arms. The other nurse handed Deacon the bottle.
"He may not take a bottle very well. This is the first we've tried. He had a feeding tube until just a few hours ago." The nurse explained
Deacon place the nipple near Mason's lips. He didn't take it. He tried for several minutes, but Mason was stubborn and seemed to have no interest in the bottle.
"Just keep trying." The nurse coaxed seeing Deacon's frustration
Mason got mad and started to fuss as Deacon tried to force the nipple.
"Come on, Mace. You can do this, big guy. Ya gotta eat." Deacon cooed to his son as he touched Mason's lips with the nipple
Mason became agitated and his heart rate spiked. The monitor beeped signaling distress.
"OK, give him a little break to calm down, and then try again. Maybe hold him close for a few minutes." The nurse suggest as Deacon gave her the bottle and held a fussy Mason to his chest rubbing his little back till he stopped crying.
"He's so quiet when he cries. Maddie just wailed." Deacon said remembering Maddie's first few days.
"He'll get louder. Don't worry. He just had a rough time coming into the world. He's still tired. Once he gets his strength he'll wail too!" The nurse assured Deacon.
"Let's try the bottle again. Try some exercises first. Gently touch his cheeks with your fingers. Try to get him to root towards your finger."
Deacon placed Mason back on his lap rubbing his little chubby cheeks gently. He rooted towards Deacon's fingers and tried to suckle Deacon's pointer finger.
"Go ahead, let him. He needs to learn to suckle." She suggested as Deacon gently let Mason suckle his finger. He wrapped both tiny hand around Deacon's hand.
"He's got a pretty good grip already." Deacon beamed watching his baby boy, holding his little hands.
The nurse slowly pressed the bottle to Mason's lips and instructed Deacon to take it as he gently removed his finger and took over the bottle feeding. Mason eagerly sucked the nipple once he realized it was food.
He quickly finished the two ounces, and cried for more.
"He's a big boy. Is that enough for him?" Deacon asked as Mason cried
"We'll try 3 next feeding. We don't wanna overdue it on the first try. Just burp him and comfort him now. We'll give you some time alone." She smiled as both nurses left Tandy and Deacon in the private nursery room alone with Mason.
Deacon held Mason close again and patted his little back till he let out a large burpy air bubble.
"Wow..no wonder you got hiccups inside mama so much. You got some major air bubbles there, buddy." Deacon propped Mason on his knee to look at him.
"He's beautiful. I wish Ray could see him now." Deacon said tearing up as Tandy rubbed his shoulder and cooed to her new nephew.
"He is a handsome devil. So big. I can't believe Rayna pushed that out. She has such a small frame." Tandy was amazed at Mason's 9 pound 6 ounce size.
"Mama did good, huh? How am I ever gonna do this alone if…." Deacon's eyes filled with tears as he pulled Mason close to his chest again and hugged the infant, kissing his little head, still careful of the wires and monitors
"Don't think like that, Deacon. Rayna is gonna be fine. She'd never wanna leave this baby and you and the girls." She tried to reassure him as he cried with Mason against his chest kissing him and watching him move.
Mason drifted off to sleep against Deacon's chest. One of the nurses came and placed him back in his isolette after several kisses from his daddy.
Tandy slowly pushed Deacon down the hall toward the elevator.
"I gotta see her, Tandy. Please, take me to see, Rayna." He begged
"OK, we'll see if she's in a room yet." She slowly pushed Deacon to ICU
Rayna had only been in a room 30 minutes. Doctor Finn was at the nurse's station as Tandy pushed Deacon near the station.
"How's my wife?" he asked trying to hold back tears. It was all so surreal. Just a couple days ago Doctor Finn assured them everything was fine as they looked at Mason on the ultrasound. Now Rayna was fighting for her life.
It was all so unfair. They'd survived a horrible year. All the fights, Rayna's affair, their separation, Deacon's accident and recovery, A new baby, and now this.
He'd do it all again if Doctor Finn would just say Rayna's fine. He didn't give a damn about Luke Wheeler anymore, or all the stupid fights. He just wanted Rayna safe, happy, and healthy in his arms again.
"She's hanging in there. We have her in a private room now. She's still running a fever. I'm really worried about an infection. We're running tests." The Doctor explained to Deacon and Tandy
"Can I see her, PLEASE?' Deacon begged with such sadness in his eyes the Doctor couldn't refuse.
"OK, but only for a few minutes. She needs to rest. She needs all her strength now to fight this."
Tandy wheeled Deacon to Rayna's bedside. He'd never seen her look so weak and helpless as he took her hand in his and gently kissed her fingers.
"I'll leave you alone." Tandy said as she stepped out of the room
"Hey, Ray. I'm here, baby. You gotta fight, sweetie. We have two little girls that need you so much. A brand new baby boy that can't wait to meet his mama. He's doin good. I just fed him. He's a big boy. 9 pounds, 6 ounces, Ray. You did it. I know it must've hurt like hell, but you did it, baby." He whispered as he held her hand and cried in the dark room.
"They need you soo much, Ray. …but honestly, I think I need you more. I can't do this alone, baby. I love you so goddamn much, Ray. Please, don't leave me like this….." he layed his head on the bed next to her as he leaned forward in the wheelchair still holding her right hand as he cried quietly.
Several minutes passed. He felt a little fuzzy again after an emotional feeding with Mason and now seeing Rayna so weak and helpless. He closed his eyes and just took in her scent with his head next to her on the bed.
He thought he was imagining it at first, but he felt Rayna's fingers in his thick hair. She always loved running her fingers through his hair. He looked up. She was sleepily smiling at him only about half awake. She had her left hand weakly running her fingers through his hair. She smiled and drifted slowly back to sleep after he met her loving gaze.