A/n: Has it really been almost three months since the last update? My apologies! I'm not going to give you guys any excuses. Just know that I've never left your side. So pretty soon we're going to get a little history on Rowan and Olivia's relationship. I just loved how their relationship ended up during 3B, Rowan is a fucking genius! I love him. Anyway, Reviews will make me feel God with Tony so leave those, lol. Enjoy loves !

Cyrus arrived at her apartment early the next morning to pick up her letter before going to see Fitz. He had decided that he was going to sit with him until noon and then he had to head to headquarters to work on his campaign. Olivia looked preoccupied when he stopped by and he made a mental note to call and check on her later but he assumed Fitz was the reason or at least part of it.

When he got to the hospital he knocked softly before pushing the door open. Peeking his head in he saw that Fitz was still asleep. He debated leaving but he decided to just tiptoe in and wait for him to wake up. As he sat in the chair next to Fitz's bed he was flipping the envelope over and over in his hands. How did we get here? He thought. It seemed ever since Olivia had fled town strange things were happening but he never thought to speak up about them. In all honesty he was a little scared. There were two men in his life who were turning out to be a pain in his ass: Billy Chambers and Rowan.

He didn't even have time to dwell on those thoughts when Fitz started to wake up.

"Olivia?" he croaked. His voice was still laced with sleep and his eyes weren't even open. He was dreaming. He had to be because from what he'd heard, Cyrus didn't think he would willingly call out for her in his presence if he were actually awake.

"Fitz, It's me Cyrus."

Slowly, Fitz turned to look at Cyrus. He didn't try to hide his disappointment so maybe he was really calling out for Olivia.

"How are you? Olivia has been keeping me updated on your progress since I couldn't make it. She told me you were slowly improving," Cyrus said.

"How did she know? I told her not to come back and I haven't seen her since then. I was improving but these last few days it almost feels like I'm going backwards. I'm starting to think her presence helped me in some way, gave me something to work towards," Fitz admitted.

Cyrus was a little shocked. But then again he had been telling Liv all along that Fitz still loved her. He guessed it just took a while for him to realize it himself. "You still love her." It wasn't a question.

"I do. I really do but… " he started in a whisper but he never finished his thought. He couldn't finish his thought. His mind was still trying to sort through everything. That's when Cyrus decided to hand him the envelope with Olivia's letter. He looked down at his name printed in her neat handwriting and ran his fingers over it. A small smile crept over his lips before disappearing.

"Why did she send this? Why not come here herself?" he desperately needed some kind of information to let him know where her mind was. Cyrus refused to answer him. It was time he stopped being stubborn and accept the fact that Olivia made a mistake but she deserved to be forgiven for it. They were soul mates, of this one fact he had always been sure since the first time he saw them in a room together.

"I think you should open it and read it," he said softly. With that he got up and patted him on the back. He felt guilty for not staying like he planned or talking to him but he couldn't help but blame himself for this mess in the first place. Rowan trusted him to take care of Olivia since he couldn't do it and that meant making sure she was always happy and he failed in that department. He hadn't counted on Fitz coming into her life and when he did it ruined all plans that Rowan had in place for her and her supposed guaranteed happiness. He should've never let his guard down with Edison and kept him in line. Maybe she could've been happy with him. But he wasn't a fool. After the realization that Fitz was the love of her life he knew she would've never been truly happy. Somehow, they were meant to find each other.

With Cyrus gone Fitz decided to open the envelope. He pulled out two full sheets of paper and realized that she had written him a letter. He swallowed the lump in his throat before he started reading.

Dear Fitz,

I'm not really sure why I'm writing to you but since you won't talk to me face to face I figured this was my next best bet. I just want to say how sorry I am for everything. If someone told me two years ago that this is where we'd end up I would never believe them. It feels like a dream or rather a nightmare. You were my best friend, my other half. I took for granted that you loved me. I thought it would always be enough for us to get through anything but I guess it wasn't. All of my life, I've been trying to prove to myself that I am worthy of a man's love, that I deserved that much out of life at least. You finally made me feel like I was worthy enough. I should have never left you. I should have talked to you. I was immature. What we have is so strong that sometimes it's overwhelming and I think that added to my fear. What if one day you decided I wasn't enough or that I wasn't worth your love? I couldn't survive losing you. Edison was no excuse but his reappearance was just enough to shake me up and make me lose all common sense. Whoever did this to you… I WILL find them. I promise you that. My precious Fitz... I just can't explain how happy I was when you woke up. Even knowing that you wouldn't want me there I stayed because that's what you do when you love someone. When you lost your memory temporarily I'll admit to selfishly feeling a little hopeful that it was my second chance that I had been praying for. But I still prayed for you to return to normal because I'd rather you be healthy and mad at me than to be crippled with no memory and loving me. That's why I never said anything when you would lash out at me. I deserved it. I broke you. I know that, I can admit that. I am not proud but I can own up to my mistake. Maybe coming back was a mistake too. I should've just stayed away. But we both know that I could never stay away from you forever. Eventually, I would have found my way back to you.

I'm not even sure what the point of this letter is anymore. I guess I just want to tell you that I still love you. I can't stop and I won't. You're the most important person in my life. I've never felt more free, more like myself, than when in your presence. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I love you enough to honor your wishes. I won't force my presence on you. I'll just stay in the background, there but not there. But I'll never give up hope for us. One day, when you're ready you'll know how to reach me. I just don't want to cause you anymore hurt and anger than I have already. You deserve better than me. I'll still send you cookies every week because I know how much you love them especially when you're not feeling well. Cyrus will probably be the main one to check on you now when he has free time. It'll be easier that way for the both of us. Just know that I will still be thinking about you every minute of every day and I'll call for regular updates; your health is the most important thing right now.

Be free. The only way to do that is without me. It took a lot for me to write this letter, we both know pride was our biggest issue, that and communication. But I'm working on it. Be well!

XOXO,

Livvie

When he finished reading he dropped the letter in his lap. He couldn't believe it. Even when he was cold towards her she never stopped caring for him. It gave him a little hope to know that she still had hope for them. He knew then that in addition to working to get better physically, he was also going to try and show her that he still wanted them. One day. For now there was a still a part of him that wanted her to keep trying to earn him. He needed to know that she really wanted them this time around because he never wanted anyone like he wanted her. But if she walked away from him again he knew he could never recover, he barely did this time around.

They could get past this couldn't they?