Well this is it. This chapter is the shortest of them all, but it ended right where I wanted. I will add an epi to clear up a few things, but this as far as Extreme Ways is gonna go. I have to say, for a story that started as a solid hour on a bus and an 'overtired positing on a whim' thingy that I did with...apparently it came out okay.

ALSO

SOMEBODY SEND A PARTY IN A BOX I FINISHED A GOD DAMN STORY THAT WASN'T TWO CHAPTERS LONG HOLY HELL

Jay's P.O.V.

"You alright?"

"Yeah Will, I'm okay." He nods, carefully choosing his facial expression.

"I'm not gonna break you know. You don't have to tiptoe around me." Will's jaw clenches, but his fingers don't pause in their task. The new IV bag hangs perfectly in place, the old thrown in a certain bin in the corner.

It's been like this for much too long a time now. It's like he's angry, but can't decide at who. So I get a snappy brother who won't talk to me, no matter what I've tried. I've yelled and begged and asked nicely, then asked in much meaner ways.

Nothing has gotten a peep out of him. And it's horribly frustrating.

Part of me knows it's just how he deals with things. The other part wants to punch him in the face and tell him to man up and say whatever the fuck he needs to say.

"Will." He check my stitches.

"You can't keep avoiding it you know. At some point, you're going to have to face the fact that I'm alive." Again he ignores me.

"Look at the wall." I do. He flashes a light into each eye, which he has done every day that I've been in here and has hurt progressively less each time he's done it.

Alright if he won't face the issue, then I will.

"Why tell me what happened if your were just going to lie?"

He stops, already halfway to the door. That's been a problem these days too. He disappears as soon as he knows I'm not about to die. I know I woke up, and I know something happened. Something bad enough that I haven't been able to see anyone but Rhodes and Will and a select few nurses.

For four days. Possibly five. I still sleep enough and look at a clock to little that I can't really tell when or what day it is. I have to go off what questions people choose to answer. Which is incredibly boring.

"How do you know I'm lying."

Haha! A reply!

"Because if I just woke up and was delirious, once I was coherent and awake I should have been granted visiting privileges."

"You were still critical." He tries, but I can see the mad scramble of thoughts behind his face. At least he's looking at me.

"Yeah? Am I still critical two weeks after the accident?!"

"Jay…"

"No. No, I want to see Erin, and I want to talk to Alvin about the case, and I want to joke around with Dawson and I need to talk some fucking sense into Ruzek's head and I'd like to straighten out my leave with my sargent. So tell me, why the fuck can't I do that?!"

There is silence. Then he walks over to my bed, sits in a chair, and stares at his hands. Takes a few deep breaths. I'm a second away from saying something, when he finally talks.

"You didn't….you weren't just delusional. It was...more than that. You didn't remember over a year of your life and you thought….well, you scared them Jay. It's why I made you talk to Charles. You...I don't know...had a dream or something. I can't really explain it but in it-"

"Erin died." His head jerks up, eyes wide with fear. I cut off his shocked sputtering of syllables with my explanation.

"I don't remember it. At least not most of it. But I remember waking up scared, and I remember being relieved to see Erin, a lot more relieved than I should have been. Plus I...I think I was really depressed at a point….but then that just kinda went away."

"You remember. Your dream, you remember that it was about Erin dying."

"Yeah…?" This is a revelation why exactly?

I don't really remember waking up for the first time. I remember getting the case, and being super exhausted walking in the precinct but that was it. Then I woke up, and fell asleep, and woke up and…

Apparently scared the shit out of my team in the process. And also scared the doctors enough for me to wake up in soft restraints (very bad idea, but seeing as my nightmares can get me combative, I can see why they did it.) I also some how terrified my brother, because he only distances himself like this when he's trying to get over something, especially when that something happened to me. Usually something he doesn't know how to deal with.

"And?" He says.

"And what? It's not the first time I've had a dream like that." That seems to be the exact opposite of what he wants to hear, if the way he pales is anything.

"Y-you have?"

"Yeah. I've never woken up delusional from one, but it's not the first time I've had a dream about Erin dying."

"Oh." He breaths. "Okay."

"Okay. That's it? That's the reason why you've done this whole isolation thing? Because you think me seeing Erin would trigger something?"

"No, I...it was...it is a bit more complicated than that." I narrow my eyes.

"I said something didn't I?" Will's eyes flick to the ground then back to his hands. So that's a yes.

"Will I-"

"You're right." We speak at the same time, then stop staring at each other.

"What?" I manage to question first. He shrugs, picking at the hem of his maroon scrubs.

"I...I should've talked to you sooner. I just was afraid that..." He shakes his head. "Doesn't matter. If you keep behaving, I'll let you start seeing people tomorrow."

"Uh...I, yeah, uh, that's..." I stammer through my shock. Two weeks (only one of them I've been conscious but still) and this is all that needed to happen to get me visitors?! God damn.

"Yo, okay, but when have I not behaved." He gives me a pointed look, his pager going off to draw his glare.

"You haven't. Which is why I said 'keep'." He stands. "I gotta go. And if I hear you ask one more nurse for anything other than another blanket, I will sedate you into next week."

"Killjoy." I mutter.

Erin's P.O.V.

His head perks up from a excessively fluffy pillow the second I walk in the door. Pure excitement is on his face, and not just because I brought his favorite breakfast from the Skinny Pancake.

"Hi."

"Hi." I laugh, his eyes eagerly switching between my face and the doggy bag in my hand.

"So how are you." I stop, halfway through the process of unpacking the food.

"Uh…" I blink, shrugging. "Fine."

"Really."

"Really." I retort, trying to understand the panicked feeling bubbling in my chest. "I should be asking you that."

"Yeah? Because I thought having your boyfriend get in a car accident, be delusional, mostly unconscious and or incoherent for over a week only to wake up and not remember about a year of his life, watch him have an anxiety attack and then not be able to see him for almost a week after without update or reason why, would be pretty fucking stressing."

Oh. That. Yeah.

Slowly I set the bag down on the small table near his bed. I struggle to swallow, the dam that broke a week ago having released emotions that I haven't quite finished dealing with. I haven't seen him in a week, which was almost as bad as the week before, where I could see him, but he was a second away from death.

I want to cry. I want to curl in a ball next to him and never let him go. I want to run, and to distance myself so far away from him that I never have to feel like this again. But I tried that with Nadia, and it only made the hurt echo stronger. I'm in way too deep now. Running isn't an option.

Instead I stand, put a hand on my hip and use the other to flip my hair haughtily.

"Well, you know. I'm pretty fucking awesome so after a lot of ice cream and plenty of sobbing I got over it." He raises an eyebrow.

"Uh huh. You just 'got over it'."

"No. I leaned on my family. We leaned on each other. Yes, I wanted to see you, to feel you for myself, to remind myself that you're really here. But I knew you were alive. And I knew you were better and I knew Will had a good reason for what he did."

"But…"

"There is no but. I was more terrified when I found out about the accident than I ever have been in my life. I love you Jay. And I thought...I was scared. And when you woke up you…." He drops his head. Suddenly this reunion isn't the easy going sarcastic meet I wanted to be.

This is real. This is pain and hurt and anguish. But this is okay. Because it needs to happen, I can tell from the look on his face, the one that screams out in pain from holding so many emotions in. I've had two weeks, I've had time, I've had people.

He's had a moody Will, and just himself. Jay once told me, he's not good by himself. His thoughts tend to...I don't know. He said when he's alone, he wanders where he shouldn't be. And it gets him into trouble most of the time.

"I'm sorry. About...what happened. When I woke up. I don't really remember much of it but I know I scared you."

"Jay you...you weren't...it wasn't your fault."

"No I...it...it was a dream I…"

"Jay, babe." Moving I sit on the bed.

"Erin. I...I've never felt like this. About anyone. I can lose my mom, I can lose Will, I can lose Mouse. I could...I could get through that. But you...I don't know if...if I could…" He cuts off, choked and trying hard not to cry.

"Oh Jay." I murmur, seeing the water in his eyes. He leans forward and I lean to him, wrapping him in my arms; his face burying in my shoulder.

"I can't lose you either." I whisper as his shoulders shake with emotion.

"Hey. Look at me." I pull him back and he looks so open, so vulnerable, so unlike the man I know that I feel put out, like being thrown into unknown territory without warning. It derails me for a second, but I know how badly we need this. I need to see this, to learn how to deal with this. We have to learn these sides of each other, learn how to navigate each other while we're at our worst. It's trial and error unfortunately, but what relationship isn't?

"I can't promise this will work. I can't promise that I'm going to be here with you forever, you know I can't." He dips his head, sniffing and running a hand across his face. I can see the walls starting to go back up, but I know he's listening by the way he leans into my words.

"But I can promise that I will always do everything in my power to stay with you." I shift my hand to cup the side of his neck, thumb brushing his jawline. He places a hand over it, carefully squeezing my other wrist.

"I love you." He whispers and I nod, knowing how hard it will be in the coming weeks to get past this.

"I know. And I love you too. We're in this together. No matter what."

He smiles, real, honest, and good. It touches something in me, makes me want to hope and smile with him. It's been so long since I saw him grin like this.

"No matter what."

yUP. Okay so epi will be even shorter...hopefully I can get it out sooner rather than later. :)