Here There Be Monsters

by I Double Dare You

"My father told me once that the most important thing every man should know is what he would die for." But dying for someone is not the most difficult sacrifice a person can make. What sacrifice will be asked of Remus and Sirius for Sirius' return from the veil? And will they overcome it to be together again? SBRL, Sirius lives, post OOTP.

14. The Moonlight Beneath Our Skin

Orighty, time to stamp a nice big M rating into this fic. If you're in any way prudish, this chapter isn't for you. Also, I apologize for the enormous chapter but I didn't really want to break these two parts up. Again, thanks for sticking with me, everybody! :) I love reading your comments – you make my day and make me type away furiously!

OOOOOOOOO

Chapter 14: The Moonlight Beneath Our Skin

"As if you were on fire from within.

The moon lives in the lining of your skin."

Pablo Neruda

OOOOOOOOO

When Remus woke the morning after the full moon he knew it had been a rough night. His muscles ached with the sharper intensity that indicated that the wolf had been restless and in a worse temper than usual, raging inside of him ferociously despite the Wolfsbane potion. Wincing, he chalked it up to the sexual tension of the past week without the relaxant of release. Groaning slightly, his eyes cracked open for him to see that he was in his bed with the covers tucked neatly around him and the weakening sun seemed to indicate that it was late afternoon. It was then that he realised that the bed seemed to dip slightly to the right and he turned his head to see with surprise that Sirius was sleeping next to him.

Remus smiled at the sight.

Sirius was lying on top of the blankets, clothes on for once, facing Remus with his body twisted to the side. His face was smooth and peaceful in his sleep and Remus took the chance to drink in the sight greedily, admiring the high cheekbones, full pink lips that made Remus' heart pang at how soft and warm they looked, and, still smiling, Remus' eyes were lastly drawn to the little freckle just below Sirius' bottom lip. It was hardly noticeable but Remus' close acquaintance with the man had allowed him to document the adorable adornment away in his mind, along with another freckle that Remus had seen, studied, kissed and absolutely loved, further down his body and rather close to an intimate area that Remus now refused to allow himself to dwell on. His gaze shifted to see that Sirius' hands were curled limply around a book, his thumb stuck between the pages where he'd obviously been up to when he'd fallen asleep. Already recognising the frayed, worn cover, Remus' gaze softened and he raised an aching arm to run his fingers reverently along the cracked spine of Tolkien's The Hobbit.

In fifth year when he and Lily had become close friends and she had learned of his love for literature and that his interests closely resembled her own, she had given him this copy of one of her favourite books. He'd instantly fallen in love with the charming lifestyles of the Hobbits and had found it terribly easy to lose himself in this new magical world, so wonderful in its detail, beauty and adventure. He'd read it many more times since and as a result, the book was practically falling apart but Remus had never wanted to get another copy. When reading this particular book, he could almost feel Lily beside him as he read, her hands holding the book as his did, as she once had before she'd given it to him, her laughter joining his and her hand clutching at the book in suspense when he did. Now he supposed that Sirius had seen the book, the one that looked most loved out of his impressive collection, and had wanted to read Remus' favourite book. Smiling uncontrollably at that endearing thought and trying to ignore the burning, warm feeling in his stomach that threatened to consume him, Remus gently pried the book out of Sirius' unresisting hands and quickly yanked a loose thread off of his old, worn blanket to use as a makeshift bookmark. Sitting up slightly and biting his lip at the sparks of pain in his muscles, he placed the book on the bedside table and turned back to Sirius when he felt movement beside him. Sirius stirred, stretching, nuzzling his face into the pillow sleepily before he opened his eyes and treated Remus to a warm, sleepy smile.

"Been up long?", Sirius asked groggily, his voice slurred with fading sleep.

Remus shook his head and sat up a bit more, trying not to wince as he did.

"Feel like shit, huh?" Sirius asked but it seemed like more of a statement as he sat up and swung his feet off the other side of the bed without waiting for an answer, "Hold on, I'll get some potions for you".

Remus watched gratefully as Sirius walked around the side of the bed, picking up a satchel as he went that clinked with what sounded like many vials and bottles in it. Sirius dug around in it for a bit before unstopping a sort of lilac coloured potion and handing it to Remus before turning to the bag again. Remus was handed three more vials of equally disgusting but different potions but after the last one he started to feel better, the aches becoming duller and his muscles loosening up considerably. Sirius took the empty vials from him, walking out of the bedroom and calling back, "I made some soup, I'll bring you some".

An amusing yet endearing vision of Sirius getting frustrated while trying to chop up vegetables made Remus grin as Sirius walked back into the room with a steaming bowl.

"Don't give me that face – this is the best damn soup you've ever had the honour of eating", Sirius said in a mock-haughty tone when he saw the grin on Remus' face.

Remus chuckled, taking the hot bowl from Sirius' hands gratefully. "I thought you couldn't even make toast. The only things I can recall you cooking are burnt offerings for breakfast".

"Ah, but I followed a recipe this time... sort of. I gave it a Sirius-esque flair anyway which, of course, made it delicious. Best damn soup you ever had, Lupin".

Remus snorted and carefully blew cool air on a spoonful of the murky brown soup that certainly smelled delicious. It did taste delicious too, Remus discovered happily, relishing the well blended flavours of beef, tomato, beans and a spice that Remus thought might have been Basil. As Remus ate, Sirius wandered around the bedroom, talking lightly all the while as he busied himself with setting out more potions for Remus to take later and tossing his own mess of clothes together (how and why they had ended up in Remus' room, Remus didn't know) in one pile in the corner which had always been Sirius' idea of cleaning up.

"Blimey, you would not believe how grumpy you were last night. Bloody sulking, you were! I can't imagine why, I've been nothing but kind and giving to you as usual. By your face last night you'd think that having someone as wonderful as me waking up starkers in bed with you was some horrible offensive act that deserved the silent treatment. I never thought Padfoot would get snubbed by a werewolf; loving, gentle beast that Padfoot is – I was up all night trying to get you to have an innocent wrestle but you'd think that I'd asked you dye your hair red, put on a skirt and skip around in front of James," at this point Remus almost choked on his soup as laughter bubbled up uncontrollably but Sirius kept up his ridiculous prattle, not even pausing as he reached over to pat Remus on the back, "By the way, I was looking through your inhumanely enormous book collection and I brought you a couple to read while you're in bed, insufferable bookworm that you are. I hope I picked the right ones, I tried to get the ones that looked most used anyway. Honestly, I expected you to have a secret soft spot for romance novels or something because you can be such a girl sometimes, but I suppose books on poetry are bad enough. And I know you get too tired to read right after the full but I thought I could read them to you; mind you I won't be half as good as you probably are at reading poetry."

Remus listened silently to Sirius' chatter as he began digging around in Remus' wardrobe without so much as a 'By your leave', apparently looking for comfortable clothes for Remus to wear once he decided to get up. When Sirius offered to read to him, his face softened and he got an almost irresistible urge to grab Sirius' wrist as he was passing by and just hold him as close as he possibly could, breathe in the comforting smell of the man that had always seemed like home to him. Instead, he watched, entranced as Sirius took away his empty soup bowl and crawled back onto the bed next to Remus, levitating a large stack of books behind him with his wand.

Grinning, he indicated to the stack, "I know you'd never refuse a chance to read something, so which one do you want me to read first?"

Remus stared at Sirius, lost for words. This was the Sirius he had always known; the gentle, warm, tender Sirius that was reserved solely for him, Sirius even treating James who he had loved like a brother with a slightly rougher manner at his best moments. This was the Sirius that would sit with him and tend to him after full moons without ever seeming to want to be doing anything else. This was the Sirius that when no one was around, buried his face in Remus' hair and just held him while he read for long lengths of time that seemed never long enough. This was the Sirius that hid his face in Remus' neck after Remus had returned days late after a dangerous mission, saying nothing but holding onto him with frightening desperation and Remus only held him back just as intensely and never said anything about the dampness of his neck and shoulder when Sirius pulled away. This was the Sirius who loved him with an overpowering intensity, the Sirius that had settled into that feeling and showed it in all the little things that he did, intentionally or not – like offering to read to him after a full moon because he knew Remus was too tired to read himself but longed for a good book to take his mind of the pain.

Remus realised he had been staring at Sirius for far too long and he hastily looked away from the inquiring look Sirius was giving him. Trying to grapple with his recent startling realization, Remus blindly reached for the book on the bedside table.

"Read this?"

Sirius allowed the stack of books to fall to the floor slowly, carefully taking The Hobbit from Remus' hands.

"Ah, not a bad story this one," Sirius smiled, leaning back against the headboard, "I thought it sounded ridiculous but I like it. I should have known – you have good taste, Moony, but I knew that before, I mean you were in love with me once, weren't you?"

Sirius was grinning at him humorously but Remus, in light of his recent epiphany, answered without thinking, "I still am."

Sirius' face was almost comical as his mouth gaped and his eyes widened in surprise. "Remus, what-"

"Read to me, Sirius", Remus requested softly, leaning back to rest his head against Sirius' chest. Sirius remained frozen for a few moments in shock at having Remus initiate close contact before he slowly brought up the old, tattered book, wrapping his arm around Remus to hold the book steady and open it at the thread bookmark. He only took a moment to find where he'd left off and he began to read. Remus listened in rapture to Sirius' deep soothing voice as his favourite story fell from his lips, the mystery and wonder of Middle Earth only intensified by the smooth tone that vibrated through Sirius' chest and against Remus' head. Remus wrapped an arm around Sirius' waist and pressed tighter to him, smiling at how Sirius' voice faltered for a moment before finding the story again.

Remus had learned long ago that the way Sirius Black declared honest and heartfelt love was not with dozens of roses and grand poems laced with romantic imagery – not that Remus had ever wanted that from him. It was the little things that Sirius had done that had first alerted him to the possibility of Sirius having feelings for him and it was these same things that had reminded Remus everyday that Sirius still loved him, although they didn't say those particular words as much as most other couples. With little acts and words, Sirius strove to make Remus happy. To Remus, this had been the sign that someone was truly in love – they would do anything to make the other happy. Remus had seen it in James, then later in Lily and in moments of self-analysis he admitted that he himself did these things for Sirius. These little things that Sirius used to do had returned without Remus even noticing them, Sirius subconsciously declaring true love in the same way he always had. It was this, more than anything, that convinced Remus that Sirius' love for him was for real. He doubted someone could subconsciously fake this subtle act of love and as Sirius read to him, his voice soft and smooth and deep, Remus smiled brightly in joy. Sirius' reading had given him time to think and gather his feelings and now, knowing that he didn't feel the need to refuse Sirius anymore, he felt exhilarated at the prospect of being with Sirius, allowing himself to admit his love to him after all this time holding himself back.

He tightened his arm around Sirius, pressing his face closer to Sirius' warm chest.

"Sirius?"

Sirius stopped reading, looking down at him expectedly, confusion and hope written all over his face.

"I meant what I said – I do still love you."

Sirius' face brightened and he smiled slightly. "There better not be a damn 'but' coming after that".

Remus shook his head, "No, no buts", still smiling uncontrollably and he gently pushed the book down and out of Sirius' hands. He sat up, hardly aware of his protesting muscles, before leaning into Sirius and pressing his lips against those that were even softer and warmer than they looked. Sirius only took a moment to respond, his lips moving silkily against Remus' and his hands slid up, one resting on Remus' shoulder and the other cupping his face.

When he pulled away, Sirius was looking up at him with bright eyes and a hopeful smile on his lips. "Does that mean what I think it means?"

"If you think it means that I feel the same way as you and I want to try and make this work... then yes, that's what that meant."

Before Remus knew it, Sirius' lips were crushed against his own and he felt a spark of guilt at the raw desperation with which Sirius was kissing him. He realised how frustrating it must have been for Sirius to be living with him and feeling this way, knowing that they felt the same and yet unable to act on it. He returned the kiss with just as much force, showing Sirius that yes, they felt the same and yes, he was his now. Mouths opened, tongues twisted and hands fisted in hair and clothing and even though Sirius didn't kiss him with the confident familiarity Remus was used to, everything was falling into place and his life was piecing itself back together. And when Sirius broke the kiss, grinning as madly as Remus was, Remus vaguely wondered if those who had ventured past the veil and come back before him had experienced this as well – this green shoot of hope after a long, terrible winter.

OOOOOOOOOO

It was dark when Sirius entered Remus' bedroom two days later.

Remus was lying awake, eyes staring wide and unblinking in silent contemplation at the ceiling, the silver of the incomplete moon burned into his vision. He heard the dark haired man before he saw him. He'd listened, silent and unmoving as the quiet steps made their way to his room, the deep breathing of a man attempting an appearance of calm while his breath longed to burst from him in unsteady, shaking gusts. Remus had known that this would happen.

The two days since the morning after the full moon had been filled with cautious but determined touches, alternating fierce and gentle kisses and on Sirius' part, glances filled with burning curiosity and a longing to act and fulfill his desires. Remus knew what this was leading up to but he didn't have the will power to slow it down. In fact, if he was honest with himself for one startling moment, he welcomed it wholeheartedly.

Sirius stole into his room quietly, crawling onto the bed and slipping beneath the covers. His now shuddering breath was warm and moist on Remus' cheek and Remus could feel the excitement and apprehension rolling from him in shivering waves, infecting him and making his heart speed up excitedly.

"You're not sleeping." The observation was whispered almost tentatively and Remus felt the penetrating gaze of beloved grey eyes burning into the side of his face. He turned to look at the man beside him.

Grey eyes, cast a shining silver by the cold moonlight, stared at him, their owner illuminated and ethereal even in his obvious apprehension. Remus knew he was under similar scrutiny and his heart thumped harder in his chest at the sight of the man he loved dearly fixing his gaze on his lips and Remus licked them without thinking. Intense eyes flickered back up to meet Remus' before they focused again on soft-looking, now slightly damp lips. Sirius leaned forward, the sheets rustling as his body pressed closer and mouths opened against each other eagerly. It was as if this was the finite incantatem to the trance Sirius had put him under and his body reacted by twisting to face the other man fully, one hand clutching the soft hair at Sirius' nape while the other curled against his warm, bare chest. One of Sirius' hands rested on his hip while the other buried itself in the light honey hair, peppered with silver strands that shone under the moon. Remus broke the kiss, panting slightly as Sirius' hands moved to begin unbuttoning his night shirt.

"It's too soon, we should slow down."

Sirius apparently thought this suggestion too ridiculous to even acknowledge as he simply pulled off Remus' shirt and buried his face in the warm, scarred shoulder. Remus himself had only said it so perhaps he wouldn't seem too desperate and eager for this, but his hands betrayed him, moving to slide over Sirius' chest, brushing through the sparse, coarse hair and marveling at the smoothness of the skin beneath it. The pureblood was more muscular than the Sirius that had fell through the veil and yesterday, when Sirius had piled a plate with food and set it down in front of him expectantly, Remus had noted with a wry smile that he had gone back to being the thin, sickly one that he had been in their relationship before Sirius had gone to Azkaban. He was brought out of his thoughts by Sirius, who was tracking the white, knotted scars along his shoulder and chest with gentle fingers, followed by a hot, wet tongue. Remus arched up against the assault and shut his eyes tightly, grappling mentally for the self-control that now eluded him.

Too soon, it was too soon; they needed to stop and think about this and how it was only days ago that they had agreed to try and make this work. Surely they needed to ease into this – he, Remus, needed to get used to the idea of being with Sirius but not as he knew him and Sirius needed to get used to the idea of sleeping with a man, something that would be a first for this Sirius. This was a thought that pained Remus; that the memories of their true first time with the clumsy, inexperience and awkward desire, memories so precious and fundamental to the relationship that had formed after them were completely lost to Sirius. Remus wouldn't have altered the imperfection of that first time for the world and he knew now that he was the only one who possessed them, that they would die with him as a lonely remembrance of what once was.

He shut his eyes tight against such thoughts, willing himself to accept this new start with Sirius, to make new memories. Blindly, desperately, his hands tore at the waistband of Sirius' night pants, pushing them down abruptly and he pulled the man against him. The touch of skin on skin and the warmth that pulsed in his stomach helped him forget to think and allowed him to simply experience everything as it happened.

Sirius was sliding lower down his body, his lips brushing down the scars on Remus' stomach and his fingers teased at the waistband of his pants. Remus wrenched open his eyes when he felt his pants being pulled down and groaned at the sight of the dark, mussed hair nuzzling between his now bare legs. He pushed his head back and arched against the pillows, thinking that he would never last if he watched what Sirius was about to do, especially after such a long time of abstinence. But Sirius' breath only came hot and hesitant on where Remus wanted it most, uncertain in a few tentative kisses and licks where Sirius had always taken Remus' breath away in his boldness, priding himself in his ability to take him in his mouth in one suck and completely shatter Remus' composure. Desperately trying not to think about the differences, Remus sat up, taking Sirius' face in his hands and pulling him up to kiss him deeply. As Sirius rose to deepen the kiss, Remus settled his hands on Sirius' shoulders and pushed to flip them over so Sirius was lying back on the bed, staring up at him with questioning grey eyes.

Remus didn't realize words were coming from his own mouth until he was brushing his lips against Sirius' chest and he felt them whispering in a heated litany against the warm flesh. "I want you. I want you. I want you IwantyouIwantyouIwantyou."

Sirius' hands were roughly gripping his hair, apparently content with their swap in positions and Remus pushed further down his body, his mouth closing over a hardened but incredibly soft nipple. Distantly, he could hear Sirius' harsh breathing and his groaning but he couldn't tear his mind away from the thought that this was Sirius' body beneath him, with all its wonderful familiarity. Even though there was the difference in muscle mass, this was the same body that Remus knew better than he knew his own. He knew the plains, dips and hollows so well that he could have traced them in his sleep and known the exact expression and noise that a caress of each would bring from his lover. He knew the places that Sirius loved to be gripped hard, places where he loved a gentle, soothing hand, spots that made Sirius tremble and cry out with desire and even certain spots that were ticklish and would make him shriek with laughter. With loving reverence he tracked every one of those places now, his heart filling to burst with each sigh, gasp, moan, whimper and surprised giggle that escaped Sirius, delighting at how in this way, his Sirius had truly come back to him, that these wonderful little parts of Sirius were not lost with the memories.

Moving further down Sirius' body and using memory more than the dim light of the moon, Remus found that wayward little freckle that he'd always loved, hiding at the curve of Sirius' starkly pale hip, lurking just beyond where the hair became coarse and wiry. He knew he was smiling like an idiot as he kissed, nipped and worshiped the little blemish that he thought of as more of an adornment, but he was too happy to care. He chuckled lightly as Sirius, always impatient Sirius, groaned and grumbled at him to, "Leave my bloody freckle alone and get on with it!"

Remus obliged, nuzzling his face into the warmth of the black thatch of hair between Sirius' hips. He didn't care how obscene it was – it had been too long without this and he inhaled the unique smell deeply, his whole body throbbing with the expectation that the scent brought. He leaned back just slightly to let the metallic sheen of moonlight illuminate the beauty before him before shifting into a more comfortable position to take Sirius into his mouth. The little cry that left Sirius' mouth and the hands that convulsively tightened in Remus' hair made him slide further along the length, moving his tongue rhythmically as he took as much in as he could before moving back down again.

All of his senses were filled with Sirius. The taste of Sirius was thick on his tongue, the not entirely unpleasant flavour that he'd become so familiar with over the years and the association of the taste made him harder within seconds. He could smell Sirius, the musky smell from where his nose was now buried, his sweat and the hint of aftershave that followed him wherever he went. He could clearly hear Sirius, his limbs rustling against the sheets as he writhed and arched up against him, his voice loud in the silence of the room as he groaned and called out Remus' name in a cracked, desperate voice. Remus could feel him, his burning cock moving in and out of his mouth, the bucking hips beneath his hands, the warmth of the legs on either side of him and he longed to feel Sirius where he ached for him most. He wanted Sirius around him, surrounding him; he wanted to be connected to him and feel him in that most intimate of ways that words attempted to glorify but was truly more glorious in action as two bodies came together, giving to the other and accepting from each other the parts of themselves too raw and passionate and animal to show the rest of the world. His eyes met Sirius', staring into the grey eyes that had the ability to burn his soul away with their ice but were now burning for him, wanting him with the same intensity that he'd fought for him and loved him over the years.

Remus released Sirius from his mouth and scrambled over him to reach his wand on the bedside table, almost knocking it off as he tried to ignore the shaking in his hand. As he lowered himself back down between Sirius' legs, Sirius' mouth caught him and instinctively their tongues swirled together, lips trembling against each other as Sirius' hands cupped his face gently. With the lubrication spell cast, Remus' hand was pressing between Sirius' legs and his mouth was lowering back down to take him in his mouth, to ease the passage of Sirius' first time. Remus tried not to think about how the first time Sirius had done this to him, their lips had been pressed together to stifle his noises from their dorm mates in the absence of a silencing charm that they hadn't quite known they were going to need that night. He pushed aside the thought of Sirius pushing inside of him too roughly in eager inexperience and the breathless chuckles of awareness of how clumsy they were – instead he pressed a finger slowly and gently into Sirius while his mouth distracted him on his cock.

His heart clenched at how Sirius' breath hitched and how tight his body was with inexperience. Slowly, Remus moved, his mouth still sucking dutifully as his fingers moved, pressing into Sirius' body gently and opening him up. Before long, Sirius was pulling at Remus' hair, probably a little harsher than he'd meant to, and Remus' mouth slipped off him while he gently pulled his fingers out of him.

"Just do it, I want you to do it."

Remus looked at Sirius, his worried expression being quickly overtaken by desire. "I have to be careful, I don't want it to hurt you."

Sirius' hand was pulling him down on top of him and Sirius was wrapping his legs around Remus' hips demandingly as silver eyes looked fiercely into gold, almost in a challenge.

"I don't care if it hurts," he hissed, silver eyes reflecting white moonlight, "Fuck, I just want this right now. Do it."

Remus was glad it was so soon after the full moon because if the full moon had been approaching he was sure he would have taken Sirius at his word and been too rough with him. As it was, he breathed deeply to control himself, resting his forehead on Sirius' shoulder even as Sirius cursed at him to hurry up, to do it. Grasping for the wand he'd dropped somewhere between Sirius' legs, he cast another charm to slick himself up and pushed a pillow underneath Sirius' hips. No matter what Sirius said he was ready for, Remus wouldn't intentionally hurt him.

Sirius' breath was hot and moist on his lips as Remus leaned over him. From the look on Sirius' face, Remus knew that his own eyes had morphed into that disturbing, feral gold but Sirius had always said that he loved his eyes when they were this way and indeed, Sirius reached up to gently brush Remus' sweaty tendrils of hair away from his forehead and smiled as his thumb smoothed the skin just beneath his eye. Remus caught the hand and held it tightly as his other guided himself to Sirius' entrance. Sirius' hand gripped back just as tightly as he felt himself stretching, widening to accommodate Remus' not inconsiderable width and length. Hot breath burst from between Remus' lips in uneven gusts as he watched, entranced, as Sirius arched back against the bed, the animagus' breath catching and escaping in little grunts. Remus lifted Sirius' hand to his lips and kissed the fingers fervently as his other hand drifted up to slide up and down Sirius' cock. Sirius was trembling against him and Remus could feel himself shaking as he was overwhelmed by the feeling of becoming one with Sirius once again.

Sirius' legs were wrapping around his hips and he was demanding him to move, his breathing erratic and heavy but Remus knew he was breathing the same way. Fire was consuming him, starting at the point where Sirius was connected to him and spreading to the tips of his fingers, burning, wonderful and making him feel light-headed. Desperation was creeping along his spine and he began moving, trying to be slow and gentle at first but he was soon moving with frantic urgency. He wanted to make it last and make this first time gentle and tender for Sirius but he'd lost Sirius too many times for him to take it slowly now that they were reunited once again. He pushed into Sirius fervently, reaching a rhythm that once began, he knew he would never be able to stop. It was as if everything depended on him reaching this completion with Sirius, as if Sirius would fade away if he didn't make him feel what he himself was feeling.

Sirius bit his own lip harshly, arching up and grinding his hips in time with Remus' brutal pace, his discomfort long since gone and only molten fire had taken its place, consuming him until he was sure he would burst into flame and take Remus along with him. He was groaning something and he suspected his cries were forming words but he couldn't bring himself to care – all that mattered was that Remus never stopped moving above and within him. The incandescent light of the moon was shining down upon Remus' back and as their bodies rocked into each other, Sirius' fingers trailed up the slightly shiny, sweaty skin of Remus' shoulder, illuminated and white in the moonlight. The skin burned beneath his fingers as if set on fire by the moon itself, as if light and moon fire had crawled beneath Remus' skin and was now spreading to Sirius, sliding up his spine and making him arch right into Remus' body, craving more.

Little whimpers were escaping from Remus' throat with every thrust and the room was fading before him – all that he could see was Sirius and his gorgeous face contorted in ecstasy beneath him. His eyes desperately drank in the sight, so familiar and so precious to him that he wanted to remain this way forever and never stop so he would never have to lose Sirius again. But his body had other plans and he was speeding up even more, Sirius' fingers digging roughly into his shoulder and back, sure to make bruises.

Remus reached a shaking hand down between their bodies, slicking his hand over Sirius' heat. They trembled together, the molten fire beneath their skin racing up their spines, consuming their minds and making them both creatures of passion, grasping and gripping each other to hold themselves to earth as they were raised higher and higher. Sirius heard himself hoarsely calling Remus' name, all inhibitions gone as his voice rose along with his desire. But it was Remus calling his name more than anything, with that look of absolute rapture on his face, so pleasurable and wonderful that he looked almost agonized by the beauty of it. It was with Remus' breath on his cheek, Remus' eyes scorching fire into his own, Remus held tightly within his own body and with his name on his lips that Sirius reached his climax. Perfection teased just out of his reach as heat gripped his body and mind and he was sure, if only he'd moved a little faster, cried a little louder, he would surely have reached heaven.

Remus shook over the writhing figure, watching the familiar expression of ecstasy and found himself following, his body seizing up as a higher force moved his hips and pulled a sharp cry from his throat, his mind blank in tumultuous climax. Sirius was shaking around him and he realised that he was shaking too as he collapsed on top of the sweaty, prone form beneath him. They kissed, slowly, deeply, saying more than they ever could with words. Remus slipped out of Sirius, kissing his face apologetically as it momentarily flickered with discomfort before lying beside him. Their limbs entangled when they faced each other, side by side, breath and heart beats slowing together and their soft smiles brightened the room more than any amount of moonlight could. For many minutes they lay unmoving, simply sharing the moments that would forever belong to them and only them, until Remus leaned into Sirius. Their lips met, their slightly sweaty bodies pressed together once again and Remus slowly rolled to sit astride Sirius' hips. Amber and grey eyes didn't part while they moved once again into that other realm of the world where time stopped and heaven seemed almost within reach, but they approached it more slowly this time, skin sliding softly and warmly against each other as their bodies reawakened.

Remus welcomed his mate within him for the first time since he'd feared him dead, hovering above him and moving slowly before he felt as if he would crumble if he didn't move faster. He flipped and turned so Sirius' body was pressed up behind him while he leaned against the headboard and ground back into the warm muscle behind him, frantic for everything Sirius could give. The urgency in their movements was diminished but it still controlled their actions, making Sirius thrust fast and harsh before turning Remus again, pushing him down onto the bed to mimic the position that Remus had used to bring Sirius to the brink. It didn't take long until Remus was clutching at Sirius' back, leaving deep, red welts as he cried out in a broken, wavering voice into Sirius' mouth, the voice that only Sirius was ever allowed to hear. Sirius followed him moments later, completing their reunion when he found his climax in Remus' body as Remus had done within him, earlier that night.

Completely spent, they lay side by side once again.

Remus' eyes tracked the much loved face reverently, as if he were trying to commit the new, fresher features to memory. Sirius grinned back at him, entwining their fingers and searching the eyes, fading from amber to honey brown, for the contentedness that he himself felt. He found it and Remus smiled back at him, squeezing his hand in reassurance. Then something flickered deep in Remus' eyes, a sad sort of hope, and his eyes sought out Sirius' questioningly, a frightening hint of desperation hidden in the smooth honey brown. Sirius saw the search for recognition and his grin faded. Sirius had known that somewhere, perhaps deeply buried in Remus' subconscious, Remus had hoped that tonight Sirius' memory might come back, might be sparked by their complete reunion of the body as well as the heart and mind. Sirius' eyes automatically looked away from the intense brown and sought out the cool white of the moon, not wanting to see the disappointment in the eyes he'd fallen in love with.

"I don't remember anything."

The room was silent again for long awkward moments before Remus squeezed his hand once more, pulling the grey eyes back to his own.

"I know."

Remus smiled, willing the irritation on the dark-haired man's face to fade, trying to tell him without words that he felt stupid, that he was ungrateful and greedy for wanting anything more than Sirius had just given. For a moment he was afraid that Sirius was about to pull away but the moment passed and Sirius was shuffling closer, curling against Remus' chest.

"I don't need the memories anymore, Sirius. I've got you and that's always been more than enough."

Remus wrapped his arms around the warm body and relished in the unique scent of them both combined, of their passion – something he thought he'd never have the privilege of smelling again. Sirius' hair tickled his nose and his body ached pleasantly from the night's activities, just as it had been so many nights in his eventful life. And suddenly, Remus knew he had told no lie; this, what he had with Sirius right now, was a new cherished memory made and that would always be enough.

OOOOOOOOOO

14 Chapters and our favourite boys are finally together! Sheesh, I sure love to drag things out! Let me know what you think of this chapter – I really really love reading your comments; it means the world to me to know that people read my work and sometimes even take the time to comment on it. Plus, the content of this chapter makes me kind of nervous; I tried to go for the less humourous, more serious and sensual kind of scene than I usually do. I hope it was alright and not too mushy!

It would really make my day to get some comments! ;)