Author's Note: I feel like these keep getting shorter and shorter...

L is for Lingerie:
Magnus owns some, Alec wishes he didn't.

Alec laid in Magnus's bed in his pajamas, idly playing tetris on his phone while he waited for Magnus to finish doing whatever he was doing in the bathroom. Chairman Meow was curled up at his feet, purring like an engine as he scratched the cat behind the ears with his toes.

He didn't look up when Magnus finally opened the door in a grand sweeping gesture. He didn't think anything of it; Magnus always arrived with grand sweeping gestures. Besides, he was kicking tetris ass.

Only when Magnus cleared his throat (and Alec's cellphone simultaneously died) did he look up.

His entire face went scarlet.

Magnus was dressed in some kind of leather monstrosity; only, it showed more skin than it covered. Leather concealed Mini-Magnus the Great, and from there leather straps wound down the warlock's thighs to his knees. Leather suspenders supported the ensemble, making sure it didn't completely fall down Magnus's narrow hips. He had a whip in one hand.

Alec blinked, gaped, and made a sound that only dolphins could hear.

"You like?" Magnus struck a pose, winking at Alec. "I thought I'd spice things up a bit. What do you think?"

"Wh...where...where the hell did you get that?!"

"I know a guy," Magnus said, frowning. "But when I asked you what you thought, I meant about how it looks on me, dear, not where to get one. Although, if you want one..."

"No! No I don't want one!" Alec shrieked, his voice becoming steadily louder. Chairman Meow looked up once he stopped being pampered by Alec's feet, saw Magnus, and jumped off of the bed.

"This was not the reaction I was expecting," Magnus sighed. "I figured that leather would be a good place to start, since you're so used to wearing it, and since you're already familiar with whips..."

"My sister is familiar with whips," Alec said. He tore his eyes away from Magnus so he could focus on speaking clearly. It didn't really help his scrambled brain.

"Oh dear," said Magnus. "That poses a problem then. I should have thought about that. Maybe I should have gone with the lace instead..."

"Wait," Alec demanded, holding up a hand. "You're saying that you have more?"

"Well, yes," Magnus said, as though this should've been obvious. He perked up considerably. "Would you like to see?"

"No! I don't want - I'm not - I don't like - "

"You don't like lingerie?" Magnus pouted. "How can you know? You've never tried it."

"It's one of those things that I just automatically know."

"You can't automatically know something, love. Come on, just try it! There's no harm done, even if you don't like it. Not that I've met someone who never has."

"There is harm done," Alec sniffed. "Harm to my sense of decency."

"Oh, don't be a prude," Magnus said. "It's not like I'm asking you to wear anything. Just enjoy me. You know you did. Otherwise your face wouldn't have turned so red."

Again, Alec blushed. "My face turned red because I was embarrassed."

"Of what? It's nothing you haven't seen before."

"I'm not doing anything that involves...that, okay?"

"Just say it, Alec. It will make you feel better about it. Lingerie."

"No, I'm not going to - "

"Just once. Say it."

"No, I don't - "

"Lingerie."

"Stop - "

"Lingerie. Come on, it's easy. Slides right off the tongue. Lingerie."

"Magnus, I swear by the Angel - "

"Lingerie. Lingerie. Linger - "

"Will you stop saying lingerie?!" Alec blurted out, hopping out of bed to reach his full height. He pressed his lips together when he realized his mistake, and sat back down with his arms crossed over his chest. "Don't look at me with that gloating smirk," he snapped as Magnus chuckled. "I'm not saying it again, and you can't make me."

"What's your problem with lingerie? Your sister owns some, doesn't she?"

"I don't go through my sister's underwear, you sicko!" Alec exclaimed. "And even if she did own some, which I hope she doesn't, how does it make this situation any less weird?"

"No need for name-calling, dear," Magnus chastised. "This isn't weird. All I wanted to do was break the monotony, that's all. But if you'd rather just go back to the way we used to do things, I suppose I can go change into some jeans. If this is too exotic for you..."

"That isn't going to work on me," Alec huffed. "I know what you're doing. You're trying to make me feel insecure about my sexual performance in order to get me to try something new. That's how you got me to do...well, a lot of what we do."

"And everything we've tried you've enjoyed, haven't you?" Magnus pointed out.

"Not everything," Alec said. "The role-playing wasn't enjoyable in the slightest. This is the same principle. I don't like pretending that I'm doing it with someone I'm not."

"This is completely different," Magnus argued. "I admit the role-playing was a bad idea. But this time I'm still me; just a sexier me."

"Magnus, you don't need leather and whips to be sexy," Alec said. "You're already sexy enough for the both of us. If you get any sexier I'm not going to be able to beat off the competition."

The warlock beamed. "You know there's no competition."

"Still. This is just...too much."

"Fine," Magnus sighed. He snapped his fingers, and the lingerie became a pair of jeans. "Does this suit you better?"

Alec grinned, a glint in his eye. "Now that's perfect."

"Hm. It seems that plain low-rise jeans do the trick," Magnus observed, looking down at himself. "I wonder if they make denim lingerie..."

"Come over here before I have to hit you and ruin the moment."

"Coming!"