She stared down at the weaker demon that had curled itself into a ball at her feet, covering it's head in an unconscious attempt to protect itself, weeping and moaning.
Outwardly she was impassive, untouched by the signs of insanity.
Inwardly she was a violent storm of emotion that surged and abetted, at times threatening to overwhelm.
She had not meant this result to come about. The intention had been to only peruse, not to shatter beyond recall. It showed an unacceptable lack of self control, a disgusting inadequacy of honor.
She had no choice but to continue yet at this moment all she could think was that possibly she had been mistaken. She had rose to the challenge of having the Jagan implanted, suffered the torturous agony, agreed to the terms that still left a bitter taste in her mouth.
All of that only to find herself unprepared for the discipline it would take to master the tool she had given so much to attain.
She drifted to a nearby stone, forced herself to sit and witness the reality of what she had unwittingly done.
The slobbering remains of what had once been a perfectly normal, albeit weak and contemptible demon only served to drive home the reality that she had been woefully unprepared.
She had known it would not be an easy thing to master. The implantation and basic control she had already gone through had only laid the foundation for what was her ultimate goal.
For some reason she had not anticipated this.
She had not anticipated the reaction of another's basic instinct to drive out intrusion. She had underestimated the strength a soul gained when faced with the true threat of death, that final surge of energies that were it's last ditch effort of survival that even the weakest could produce.
It had not mattered that she had no intention of killing the other. That the other had sensed her on some base level, that it had reacted in the manner it had...
She could still feel it clawing at her internally, that soul screeching out in silent, echoing defiance against her. She could still feel herself being overcome, drowning in that flood of abrupt, forceful energies that lanced through her entire being.
Her reaction could be excused but she was not given to excuses.
There was no excuse for what she had done.
For the loss of control.
For that blind panic that had suffused her.
For that to so overtake her that she had without thought destroyed that soul that she had only intended to touch.
It was one thing to kill in battle. To end a life with the intention of doing so.
This was nothing near what she would call an acceptable outcome.
This was almost regrettable even if the other demon would have at least attempted to defend itself if confronted physically, as redundant as that effort would have been.
She was long past simple killing for the sake of doing such. She only fought against those who were on par with her or greater. The weak held no interest for her, there was no gain to their bloodshed and she only spilled their blood if they insisted on it.
She would never allow this to happen again. She would gain absolute control of the Jagan. She would take all aspects into consideration before using it in any form.
She would never again be taken by surprise in this manner, nor would she allow herself to react without thought.
She stood, drawing her katana as she stared down at her handiwork.
There was only one thing left to do.
She raised her sword...
She raised her head, taking a drag of her cigarette as the memory left her. Her eyes narrowed in thought as her eyes passed over the few people who traveled past the bench she had sat on when she had entered the park.
Her hand rested on the end of the bat that she had been idly spinning back and forth since she rested one of it's ends against the ground as she waited.
It would not be long now. The sensations were becoming stronger as they always did before whatever was to happen actually did.
She could have remained with the memory. Went over the emotions that had traveled through him as he had studied that other demon. Some of those emotions had surprised her though in hindsight they all made sense considering the source. There was so much more to him then what he allowed the world to see, so much more depth then maybe even Kurama suspected.
She could have but she was being drawn to her feet again. Pulled away from the bench and the peaceful hum of park life that included the laughter of children playing and the sight of the occasional couple. Into a dense cluster of trees and bushes to emerge in a much more secluded area, one that most of the public avoided for a very specific reason.
This area was unofficially reserved for thugs attached more closely to the shadier sides of life Bad things happened to those that came across the dealings that occurred in this inner sanctum of the park. To most people what she had just done was effectively commit suicide in as painful a way as possible.
She rested the bat against her shoulder again, taking another drag as she evaluated the area.
There were five people in this section, each one of them had taken note of her presence. One even waved a halfhearted welcome at her. She did not bother waving back. They would not bother her. One of the things she enjoyed that most did not was an immunity concerning this side of life. The details of that lost in past encounters either through her abilities or just because she was who she was.
This aspect rarely touched her everyday life. It was something she had no intention of Kazuma or any of the others to ever find out about. She was not embarrassed by it, only protective of what she saw as her "normal" life. The necessity of that over rode anything else.
Her eyes alighted on a trio not far off from the first five she had seen. Hair slicked back, their clothing a little nicer then thugs normally wore, one even sported a pair of sunglasses that were obviously worn as an affection and not for the purpose of keeping the sun at bay.
Poser...
It was the shortest of the three, younger then the other two that she had come for. His energies spiked the air drawing that slight choking feeling into her throat.
This kid was at a crossroads just like every person she was drawn to.
She tossed her cigarette away and approached them. She was maybe five feet away before they noticed her and stopped the conversation they had been engrossed in. All three eyed her and the bat at her shoulder, the kid seemed the most interested.
This close she could see the blackened eye, the cut lip. Evidence he had been roughed up recently.
"You know it's a choice." she said to the kid directly, ignoring the other two, "the way you're headed isn't really where you want to go and you know it."
His eyes were an unnatural shade of blue, the kind that was to easy to read because they drew the eye so directly. Pain, a flash of fear, stubborn denial all of it expressed in a quick glance to the other two and back to her. He was afraid.
"Hey lady you need to leave." one of the thugs said menacingly.
"Lady?" she repeated shifting her weight slightly, "You don't know who I am do you. Real stupid if you ask me..."
She did not telegraph her intentions. That was the kind of thing that got you hurt or worse on the streets. It was nothing to move faster then the one who had addressed her. Very little effort actually went into the breaking of a kneecap, it was more aim then anything else. Technically she could have done it without the bat and she almost had but the thug had annoyed her with the title.
She was no lady.
She rested the bat back onto her shoulder as the thug rolled on the ground screaming and cursing, clutching his shattered knee. She eyed the other one that seemed to not want to become involved in what had just happened. The kid stared down at the guy rolling on the ground in shock.
"Really you can shut up now. You whine like a little school girl." she snapped at the man on the ground before turning back to the kid, "I'm Shizuru by the way."
"Who?" the kid said his face screwing up in confusion.
"Seriously? You're Shizuru Kuwabara?" the sunglassed poser asked then shook his head with a laugh, "No wonder you've got a name still."
She shrugged then took the bat from her shoulder, offering it to the kid who only glanced at it then her.
"You've got a choice," she repeated to him, "take the bat. Use it on him. Kill him if you want. I don't care really. It's none of my business. Just understand once you do something like that you can't take it back kid. It's forever. Once you let yourself do something like that you're just like him."
"But I..." he began to deny.
"Lie to yourself all you want." she interrupted him smoothly, "Don't lie to people who know better."
"Why do you care?"
Again she shrugged, "Couldn't care less. You want the bat or no?"
For a second, for a heartbeat she thought he might take it from her. His face darkened as he stared down at the thug clutching his knee, hate and vengeance on his features. It was not that much of a stretch to understand that had been the one to inflict the damage done to the kid's face. That and she had noticed the skinned knuckles on the bastard writhing on the ground which was why she had broken his kneecap in the first place.
If he had reached for the bat she would have let him take it.
No one who really knew her would have accused her of being a bleeding heart type. She was not so much of a guardian angel as a choice provider.
It would have disappointed her.
She may have taken exception and beat the kid within an inch of his life for the stupidity of the act but she would have let him make it.
No amount of guidance could turn a path once the choice was made in that direction of thinking. There were very few real victims in her way of looking at the world. It consisted of those that made the choice to be swallowed by what happened to them or to work with it and make themselves stronger despite it.
The pressure of her abilities began to ease a moment before the kid's features relaxed into something closer to introspection and a hint of relief.
"No that's okay." he said softly.
She brought the bat back to her shoulder as she fished her pack out of her pocket and expertly shook out a cigarette that she caught between her lips. She lit it before she spoke again.
"You need a ride somewhere?" she asked casually.
"Um...sure." the kid replied stepping around the thug on the ground to walk beside her as she began to move away, "Can I ask you something?"
"Go for it." she agreed pushing a bush out of her way.
"How did you know? I mean...weren't you worried I would take the bat?"
"You're kidding right?" she asked smirking, "Don't get me wrong short stuff. You would have been on your butt before the first swing but I was being honest. I don't give a damn what you decide. You want that kind of life then you have to take it all in, the good and the bad. It doesn't matter all that much what already happened...it's more important that you come out the other side being able to look at yourself in the mirror."
He watched Shizuru disappear with the young human still ruminating over the scene that had just played out.
The sudden violence from her had been unexpected but oddly enough not shocking. He knew that existed in her, that it lay just beneath the surface somehow peacefully entwining with all the rest that crowded her being.
That perfect blend that put her on par with any other being bent on strife as the center of their life yet also following the call of something that was an altogether different way of existence.
He was of the mind she would never truly make sense to him.
"I'll kill her!"
He turned his attention to the thug she had crippled as his companion helped him to his feet.
"Once this heals I'll find the bitch and..."
"Shut up man!" his friend hissed at him furiously glancing at the others that occupied the area, "If you're smart you'll let this go!"
Mentally he took in the man's scent, marking it for one to react to if he came across it again in her company.
It was time to leave.
There were other things to tend to other then listening to the whine of an injured fool and his empty threats.