The room was cold and quite. Suga was tired and sore from being in this chair for so long but he refused to move. Daichi had tried to get him to go with the group to the cafeteria but he wouldn't. He would not leave Hinata's side. He was still afraid. Even after speaking with the doctor. Even after he had told them how Hinata had woken up and spoke to them. How he was coherent and focused. Yet the Doctor dismissed this. Telling them to wait and watch.
He had seemed perfectly normal to Suga, yet he understood what the doctor meant. Hinata hadn't been awake for more then a few moments. They couldn't determine anything about his mental state from those few things he said. He could still have damage to his brain even if his speech was fine.
Needless to say Suga wasn't happy. No he was far that, he had been so excited to hearing Hinata speak without trouble he hadn't thought about other issues. The brain was such a complicated organism so fragile. Suga could not heal such a thing. He could help with his emotional state by being with him but he could not fix physical damage. Not something that was more they a bruise or a cut.
No Suga could not fix gunshot wounds and brain damage. He was such a stupid child who took on more then he could handle. He had been foolish. He should have done something different. Something more.
"Suga." He glanced up whipping at his eyes unaware until that moment that he had been crying.
"Are you doing okay?" Sensei Takeda asked smiling sadly down at him. His gentle eyes hurt Suga more.
"I'm so... Stupid." So very stupid. Suga thought still look up at his teacher.
Takeda sighed sadly kneeling down in front of the weeping boy.
"Why do you say that?" He asked putting his warm hands on Suga's knees. Suga knew it was suppose to be a comforting gesture yet the weight on his knees made him feel small and helpless.
"I tried to help with something I couldn't possibly handle alone. I got caught up in something that no one of my age should try to deal with without the help of adults."
"Ah, I see. Let me ask you something. When you took that weight of this horrible situation on your shoulders what had you planned on doing?"
"I wanted... I wanted to Hinata to feel safe while he was at camp. I wanted him to feel calm and enjoy himself for a short while, while we figured out how to handle everything. He needed to be calm and not stress himself out before we talked to an adult."
Tears welled up in Suga's eyes again. "When I found out that his body was covered in so many scars and wounds... I had... I had a panic attack. I didn't know what to do. My heart was beating like crazy, I couldn't breathe. It felt like someone was crushing my chest like someone had park a bus there. I was scared and I didn't know what to do."
"That's understandable Suga. You are young that type of response to something so dark and horrid I would expect nothing else."
"You don't understand. I wasn't the one hurt. Those wounds weren't mine I bared no injury but it hurt. It hurt so bad to see them."
"Look at me Suga." Suga opened his eyes not aware he had squeezed them closed so tightly.
"You care about Hinata, he is your friend and you love him and care about his well being. So yes in some sense you bared some wounds. Sure they weren't physical but someone you love was hurting badly and you couldn't fix it and it hurt you. You are allowed that panic, you are allowed to feel hurt and scared."
"I knew that at least I understand what you are saying but I made a mistake. A mistake that could have been fatal. That could still be fatal. I put his life at risk the moment I didn't get help."
"And why didn't you get help?" There was no anger in that question just a quite curiosity.
"Because he begged us. Begged us not to tell because he wanted to play volleyball. Wanted everything to be normal how we had all planned from the beginning. And I couldn't deny him that not... not after he told us what his monster of an uncle did to him. I couldn't bare it seeing him beg."
Suga glanced down at his Sensei desperately. "We had planned to do the camp. To go about are original plan. We were going to have fun and practice and do whatever it was Hinata wanted to do. Anything to make him feel safe and calm. Then we were going to tell, we were going to tell everyone we could trust to help us. We took pictures of Hinata's wounds so we would have evidence before they faded. He was going to have his month of peace before everything was going to change for him again."
Sensei smiled then. So big and proud. Suga didn't understand. Couldn't fathom why he looked so calm.
"Suga I understand why you are beating yourself up over this but let me tell you something. Nothing you did was wrong in a since. Someone who has been abused does not trust lightly, you should never force anyone who had been beaten or worse. It does not make them feel safe, it makes them shut down and not want to speak. Everything you and those boys did was very, very right. If you would have forced Hinata to speak as soon as he told you what was happening he would have lost trust in you."
Suga looked towards the sleeping boy on the bed. His brows were pulled down in a harsh angle a sure sigh he wasn't resting properly. His legs jerked every once in a while in his sleep like he was trying to run from something. Suga couldn't even imagine the nightmares that haunted him. He was in pain and Suga could do nothing. The thought though of Hinata not trusting him hurt worse then anything possible.
"I don't want to lose Hinata's trust." Suga whispered.
"And you didn't, by not telling, by doing as he wished you made him feel safe. Now am I upset I wasn't aware what was happening? Yes very much so. Not upset because you didn't seek help right away. I'm upset because I didn't catch the signs myself. I'm angry because he went to the camp hoping to feel safe and that man tore that away from him. I am also scared, just like you and everyone else. These are all normal for matters like this."
"You are not stupid for not telling, you may feel that way for the moment but in the long run Hinata will trust you more then any other person on this earth. And he will need that. He'll need that trust he shares with you because it's going to be hard. We do not know the extent of the damage done to him mentally and emotionally. He will need support from us all but you... he will go to you for most of it, because he trust you because you did as he wished."
"The others did the same thing I did." Suga said feeling slightly better.
"No... they helped yes. They kept his secret and tried to make him feel comfortable, but I was watching. While we were at camp I watch that boy very very closely. I could see the tension in his shoulders the uncertainty in his eyes, but when he looked at you when his eyes followed you while you moved... His shoulders would drop he looked more relaxed just by seeing you. His whole being changed."
Suga sat frozen staring down into Takeda's eyes. "You're not mad at us? For not speaking out?"
"Mad, no. You were protecting Hinata while he was there. He should have been safe there you didn't want him to be in distress right? If you would have told by all rights I would have called the police right then and there. He would have lost that little bit of safe haven he had. Like I said I'm upset at myself for not noticing how much he was suffering."
"We all missed it." Suga said looking guilty.
"Yes, but it is not your job to notice those sorts of things. It is my job though and I missed it by a land slide. I thought he was just having a hard time since his family passed I never imagined something so horrible was happening. To know he was being beaten by his uncle it makes me sick."
Suga flinched away from his teacher. He hadn't told the whole truth when Takeda asked what was happening to Hinata. He hadn't thought it was his place to tell something so horrid.
Takeda didn't miss the jerk though. He saw it. His eyes darkened a few shades. "There is more isn't there?"
Suga swallowed hard suddenly feeling like vomiting again. He nodded though not wanting to lie.
"What more is there?" Takeda asked quietly.
"His... his uncle... He payed a man, he... god he paid a man to rape him." One night when Hinata was having a much more rough night then most he had told Suga what had happened. Ever little detail Suga had thrown up then. Unlike when he learned he had been taken in such a manner he had been able to hold the contents of his stomach at bay. Not then though. He had retched so hard he thought he was going to die.
Takeda stood then so fast Suga was left reeling for a moment. He hadn't been aware his Sensei could move so quickly. Suga glanced up at him unsure as to what to say or do. He froze though when he saw Sensei's face. His head was tilted down, eyes large, his jaw set so tightly Suga could hear it pop. Wrath pure wrath was present in those normally kind eyes. Then Suga saw his hands squeezed so tightly in a ball that his nails were digging into the palms of his hands.
"Sensei... you're bleeding." Takeda made a strange sound then something like a growl of an enraged animal. He looked scary. It was the worst possible moment for his reaction. The worst thing to happen since Hinata had made it into his room. The tiny decoy chose that very moment to wake up. When someone was looming beside his bed looking threatening.
Suga was staring at Takeda still unaware his tiny lover was waking. He was so caught up in the fact his teacher, a man who is normally so calm, caring and sweet was now standing there looking like he was ready to murder.
Suddenly screaming filled the once quite room. The dimmed lights and cold air seemed to shift as that scream of pure terror erupted past Hinata's lips. Suga jumped to his feet knocking the chair he was sitting on backwards. Takeda who was a moment ago caught in his rage snapped out of it as quickly as it hit. His once again caring brown eyes landed on Hinata.
Hinata who was screaming so loudly, he was jerking in the bed trying to move his tired body back on the bed away from Sensei.
"Hinata! Hinata!" Suga yelled over the screaming trying to catch his attention. Trying to do something to stop that awful sound. Still he screamed though thrashing on the bed. Suga was trying so hard to calm him. With all that moving he would surly pull his stitches.
"It's okay Hinata!" Takeda said rushing around the bed cupping Hinata's face in his hands. Ignoring the fact that Hinata saw hitting him over and over.
"Calm Hinata, It's Takeda Sensei... I'd never hurt you. Right? You understand that don't you. That I'd never hurt you." Those once frantic screams faded into nothingness. The blows he had been inflicting on Sensei stopped Hinata's arms fell limply to the bed. He gasped for air, the only thing holding him up was Takeda who still held his face trapped between his hands.
"Sensei... Sorry I didn't mean to. I didn't mean to hit you! I … I didn't know it was you. T-the room was dark and I couldn't make out your face."
"Hush now Hinata, don't worry about that at all. I understand so please be calm."
Hinata settled down in seconds his eyes dropping once again as sleep pulled him under. He needed rest. Suga was aware of that, but a part of him had hoped Hinata would be able to stay a wake for a bit. Just long enough for him to talk to him some. He was still so worried about him.
"Stay with him, I'll bring you some food. Also I had forgotten my hands were bleeding so if you would please whip the blood of Hinata's face before he notices." With that Takeda rushed out of the room the door closing quietly behind him. Suga quickly rushed the bathroom to wet a washcloth before return to Hinata's bedside. Gently Suga whipped at Hinata's face as to not wake him.
After making sure all traces of blood were off Shoyo's face Suga found himself staring down at his pale skin. There were bags under his eyes and the bruise on his face had gotten darker. Unthinking Suga's fingers ran through the thick strands of orange hair. He needed it washed and Suga wanted nothing more than to be able to help him by washing it. Hinata hated his hair being dirty.
"Suga..." Those amber eyes blinked open staring up at Suga. His eyes slightly unfocused.
"Do you need anything?" He asked still running his hands through his hair. Not only was it comforting for Hinata it was calming to Suga too.
"Thirsty." He muttered looking around the room as if hunting for a glass of water.
Smiling Suga reached over towards the table to grab the water and ice chips a nurse had brought in earlier for him. Lifting the cup Suga put the straw towards Hinata's lips.
"Thank you." Hinata said blinking up at the setter.
"Anything else I can do for you?"
Hinata hesitated for a moment. "Could you lay with me?"
Suga took a step back sitting the cup back down before slowly looking over at Hinata. Chewing on his lip he tried avoiding those amber eyes.
"I don't think that a wise idea Shoyo. You were shot me climbing in the bed with you could hurt you."
Tears welled up in those golden orbs. Suga panicked. "Don't cry Hinata."
"I'm sorry! I don't mean too, I... When I sleep I dream about bad things and I can't get calm, it was just when you sleep with me... I don't dream." Hinata hiccuped whipping at his face as more tears slid down those pale cheeks.
"Okay, okay. Please don't cry, I'll lay with you. Move over as slowly as possible okay?" Suga put down the side rail of the bed helping Hinata mover to the left side of the bed. He rearranged himself groaning in pain ever so slightly. Once again Suga hesitated trying his best to not be swayed by those sad eyes. Those eyes that were currently looking up at Suga with so much hope that he gave in. Kicking off his shoes Suga gently crawled into the bed pulling the blankets over them.
Suga didn't know how to arrange himself. He was uncomfortable laying on his back like this but Suga didn't want to risk moving and hurt Hinata more. Then suddenly Hinata was moving closer turning his body ever so slightly so he could mold himself into Suga's side.
"Thank you." Hinata whispered laying his head on Koushi's chest. Giving in and moving as slowly as possible Suga rolled over on his side caging the boy to his chest.
"Get some rest Hinata." He muttered kissing Hinata's forehead.
"Love you..." Shoyo said breathlessly as sleep pulled him under. Smiling Suga closed his eyes tangling his fingers in those thick locks.
"Love you too Shoyo."
Sorry the chapter was so short!
Don't worry the next will definitely be longer!
The story is coming to a close soon though and hopefully it will be everything
those boy deserve!