FOR YOUR EYES ONLY
CHAPTER 11—Decision Time
DISCLAIMER: Jack'n'Lizzie etc. do not belong to me. I make no money from the writing of this fan-fiction.
A/N: Hello all! Sorry for the lack of an update this weekend (I had this chapter written and meant to get it up), but this was the first weekend in a long time when I didn't have a huge test to study or a paper to write, so I took some time for myself.
Anyways, I'm really proud of this chapter and it is quite monumental to the story, so I hope you all enjoy it! I'm going out of town on Wednesday, so this will be the last update until (at least) Sunday, October 5, though more realistically the following Monday.
Thanks so much for the continued reviews! They're the reason why I keep writing. :D Now, on with Chapter 11!
The H.M.S. Swallow was not the largest ship to arrive in Port Royale's harbor, nor the grandest, but for a last minute journey from London to the warm, sunny Caribbean, it would suffice just fine. Dwarfed by the Dauntless and even a bit smaller than the Interceptor had been, her small, white sails would have gone mostly unnoticed by anyone who wasn't waiting for them to appear. However, Elizabeth had been waiting for them, and upon catching her first glance of the undersized vessel, she nearly wept with relief.
Elizabeth had gotten Rosalind's letter only a week or so earlier, lending her a much needed sense of reprieve at her friend's acceptance of her invitation to visit her. Until receiving Jack's prior to begging for Rosalind's companionship, he had been her biggest confidant, the one person who didn't make her feel like she was completely alone. But now, with all these developing feelings that would have confused even the most able-minded woman, she needed to turn elsewhere. With her impending nuptials to James (which were exactly a week away now) and the definitive butterflies that fluttered around in her stomach at even the slightest thought of Jack, she needed someone to vent to before her head (or quite possibly, her heart) exploded.
She kept glancing nervously over her shoulder at James and her father, who insisted on accompanying her to the docks to greet Rosalind, the first of many wedding guests to arrive in the days to come. Given what had happened the last time Elizabeth had been on the docks, when she was seen in her soggy, transparent clothing by a pirate, and then held captive by said-pirate, going to receive Rosalind by herself was out of the question. She didn't bother to argue… she didn't have the will for it anymore. With each passing day and with each discussion of the wedding and the future, she felt more and more powerless to fight it.
Elizabeth waited impatiently with baited breath as the ship came to the docks, unloading a slew of cargo before the few passengers started to trickle off one by one. As if she hadn't waited long enough, Rosalind was the last to depart, causing a long lost smile to flash onto Elizabeth's face. A happy smile crossed Rosalind's face as well and both of them ran (as best they could in dresses and corsets) to embrace each other.
"Oh, I thought you would never get here!" Elizabeth cried, her voice wavering, the threat of tears imminent.
"Nor did I," Rosalind replied, offering the most reassuring smile she could muster. "Your father did not question my premature visit?"
"Not at all, thank heavens," Elizabeth said quietly, casting another glance over her shoulder at her father and James, who had started to make the walk down the long dock. She turned back to Rosalind, the tears now brimming in the corners of her eyes.
"What's this?" Rosalind asked, concerned, placing her hands on either side of Elizabeth's face. "I sense this has more to do with you being simply happy to see me."
Elizabeth drew in several deep breaths, willing her voice not to crack, before opening her mouth to speak. Before she could, however, she felt a hand on her shoulder and turned around to see that James and her father had reached them already. Her father instantly noticed the tears in his daughter's eyes and his face scrunched up in concern.
"Just happy to see me, is all," Rosalind said quickly, wrapping a comforting arm around Elizabeth's waist.
"Is that so?" James asked, his eyebrows knotted. Elizabeth nodded, hoping her uncertainty was well enough concealed. "Well." With all the formality that Elizabeth had expected from her fiancé, he and her father greeted Rosalind before the four of them headed back down towards the waiting carriage.
"You'll tell me everything once we're alone?" Rosalind whispered lightly into Elizabeth's ear as they walked.
"Everything," Elizabeth meekly whispered back. "Everything."
Elizabeth paced around her room, wringing her hands together and chewing nervously on her bottom lip. Rosalind was sitting on Elizabeth's bed, leaning back against the pillows, with Jack's letter clutched firmly in her hand. Elizabeth watched her, her stomach churning in a most uncomfortable way, as she read. Finally, Rosalind took in a deep breath through her nose before lowering the parchment from her face. She looked up to Elizabeth with steady, serious eyes.
"Well?" Elizabeth stopped her pacing, placing both hands flat against her stomach in an ill-fated attempt to calm her nerves. A small smile curled on Rosalind's lips.
"He's very well-spoken for a pirate," Rosalind said softly.
Elizabeth smiled, her eyes falling to the floor. "He is," she agreed. "His writing tells me he has an education, though I know so little about who he was before he became Captain Jack Sparrow."
"And you wish to know more?" Rosalind asked, her voice teasing.
Elizabeth nodded, biting down on her lip so hard she felt the copper taste of blood in her mouth. When she spoke, her voice was barely audible. "God help me, I do. So much more…"
"He's right, you know," Rosalind said. "He's absolutely right." She picked up the letter, her dark eyes scanning the pages several times before continuing.
"You think I should stop this." It was a statement, not a question.
"Elizabeth, you're so unhappy," Rosalind said, sitting up. "It's so evident! Something inside you is starting to die and I fear that you'll never get it back unless you call this off right now." Elizabeth opened her mouth to speak, but Rosalind stopped her. "Don't think about the wedding. Don't you dare use all the preparations and the guests and the cost as an excuse to go through with this." She stood from the bed and walked to Elizabeth, taking her hands in her own. "You have to think about what comes next. Do you really want to spend your life with a man you don't love?"
"It's not that I don't love him," Elizabeth said, her voice small and far away. "I just don't love him the way I'm expected to… James is not a bad man, he will not make a bad husband—"
"But do you really want him to be your husband?" Rosalind paused, sighing. "Go to your father, Elizabeth. You have to tell him how you feel."
"I can't!" Elizabeth's eyes grew wide. "He can't know about any of this! I love my father, but if he finds out about Jack—"
"He does not need to know a thing about Jack," Rosalind assured her. "Just tell him you don't wish to marry James. He loves you, Elizabeth, he'll understand. Do you not think he wants only your happiness?"
"But he's so fond of James…"
"Elizabeth, listen to me," Rosalind said firmly. She squeezed Elizabeth's hands. "You cannot believe that your father would want you to marry him if he knew you were so unhappy." A silence fell between them and Elizabeth looked away. When she looked back to Rosalind, she was smiling. "You know I'm right."
"Come in."
Not for the first time in her life, Elizabeth wished that the invention of the corset had never occurred. An uncomfortable situation was about to be made all the more uncomfortable no thanks to the bloody, stupid thing. But then again… she held back a small smile as she pushed open the heavy, wooden door to her father's study. Without her bloody stupid corset she would have never met him.
"Ah, Elizabeth," her father looked up from his desk when he saw her. He rose to his feet when she entered the room. "Not that you need an excuse to visit me, but is there something I can do for you?"
"Actually, yes, there is…" Elizabeth took in another deep breath, ready to confess everything when she heard a noise. Her eyes darted to the large arm chair that sat before his desk and she nearly fainted when James stood up. She should have known… she couldn't help but wonder sometimes that if her fiancé and her father would be better off marrying each other.
"Elizabeth," he smiled.
"James…" She was speechless for a few minutes, her heart pounding in her chest before she remembered formality. She dipped her head slightly as she curtseyed.
"Well, go on, darling, what is it?"
Elizabeth was frozen, her plan to tell her father about her insecurities long gone. "I… I…" she stammered for a few minutes while she thought of something to say. "I came to ask your permission for the use of the carriage." She clasped her hands behind her back, her head falling down, avoiding all eye-contact. Who was she? Who had she become? The assertive, opinionated, strong-willed girl she used to be was so far away now, so lost. "I'd like to show Rosalind the town."
"Of course," her father smiled and nodded. "I see no trouble with that."
She uttered a quick "thank you" and without another word, fled from the room, shutting the door behind her. Once she was in the hallway and out of sight, she leaned against the fall, her shoulders falling forward as she covered her face with her hands and silently wept.
Jack smirked to himself, quite pleased on the very successful raid he had conducted as he steered the Black Pearl out of Nassau's main harbor. It was occasions like this one that reminded him as to why he was a pirate. The warm sea air was in his face, the smooth feeling of the ship's wooden wheel safely in his grasp and a brand new case of rum (the obtainment of which was highly suspect, though left him quite proud of the men who had snatched it up) was waiting for him in the cargo hold. Life was good.
"Uh… Capt'n?" Jack's happy little thought bubble burst when he heard Gibbs' uncertain, nervous voice behind him.
"Aye, Mr. Gibbs?"
"I have somethin' for ye, sir," Gibbs quietly announced. Jack's pulse shot way up when he considered what the "something" might be… or at least, what he hoped it might be. Gibbs let out a nervous chuckle when he pulled a folded piece of parchment out of his vest pocket, handing it to Jack. Jack eyed him suspiciously before snatching the letter and quickly unfolding it. He motioned for Gibbs to take over the wheel for him.
As he read Lizzie's words… her sad, desperate words… his eyes widened. This was not good… this was most certainly not good. "How long have you had this?" he asked, his eyes shooting back up to Gibbs.
"I picked it up in St. Lucia…" Gibbs chuckled again. "I forgot to give it to ye…"
Jack gritted his teeth. Their stop in St. Lucia was over a week ago. "Port Royale. Now."
Without another word, he was off to the cargo hold. He had every intention of putting aside one of the bottles for his Lizzie. From the apprehension he could practically hear in her voice, he knew she'd be needing it.
The days flew by, each one bringing more and more dread to the cluttered thoughts and emotions swirling through Elizabeth's mind. She stood on her balcony, her hands gripping the iron railing as her sad eyes stared out to the harbor. Ships seemed to be arriving by the minute, though she knew her agitation was likely causing her to imagine things. Every night, more and more guests from England would arrive, proving much to Elizabeth's dismay that her wedding was seen as nothing more than a spectacle, the social gathering of the year.
Elizabeth found herself spending more and more time on her balcony, her own little safe haven from the world that seemed to be so obsessed with her nuptials. There were alternative motives to this, however. The first, and most important, was the hope of seeing a set of black sails amongst all the white in the harbor. Tomorrow morning, she was set to be married, and there was still no sign of Jack, nor any letter from him. It seemed that her biggest fear was about to come true—she was set to marry James before giving Jack the goodbye she so wanted to give him.
The second reason for her extended time out on the small little balcony was for the sheer fact of avoiding her room. Sitting in the corner, directly in front of her changing screen, was her wedding dress. Every time she looked at it, she felt a dull throb in the bottom of her chest. She genuinely believed that the dress looked better on the mannequin than it would ever look on her. At least the mannequin had no objections to wearing it.
Elizabeth's head whirled around when she heard a quick knock on the door. With a great sense of dissatisfaction surging through her, she stepped back inside. Before she would welcome her visitor, however, the door swung open and Rosalind stepped inside, completely out of breath.
"What is it?" Elizabeth asked, her eyebrows furrowing.
"I… just…" Rosalind paused and took a deep breath. "I just got this from Estrella." She held out her hand and it was then that Elizabeth took notice of the folded parchment clutched there. "I ran straight to give it to you, she says it's from Will Turner."
Unable to speak, Elizabeth practically lunged forward and took the letter from Rosalind's hand. Nearly tearing the fragile parchment with the urgency in which she unfolded it, she began to read. Sure enough, it was in Will's hand.
Dear Elizabeth,
I'll be brief, for I know how anxious you have been to receive this news. He's here. Come to my shop when you can. Mr. Brown will be absent for the day, presenting new armory to the soldiers attending the wedding tomorrow. It is safe here.
Sincerely,
Will
Elizabeth covered her mouth as a happy cry threatened to escape from the back of her throat. Will's discretion, though appreciated, was unnecessary. She knew who "he" was.
"Where is she?"
"I'm sure she's on her way," Will said, his voice and eyes amused as he watched Jack flutter around the shop. He never thought he'd see this side of the calm, collected, always calculated Captain Jack Sparrow. He leaned against a wooden support bean as he watched the older man cautiously peer out the window before pacing several feet backwards, then repeating the step all over again.
"Yer sure she got it?"
"I'm sure," Will promised. "Be patient."
"I may be many things, William, but patient is not one of them," Jack practically hissed, his hands clenching into fists.
"I can see that," Will chuckled. Jack shot him an angry glance, ready to retort with a sarcastic quip or witty comeback when the door swung open. His dark eyes immediately shot to where she stood and his stomach dropped. He stood absolutely still, his mind a flurry of thoughts… no person had ever warranted such a reaction from him before.
"Jack…" His name escaped Elizabeth's lips in a frazzled whisper and in an instant, she had flown down the front steps and flung herself at him, her arms wrapping tightly around his neck. "I hadn't heard from you, I was so worried!" she cried. Jack frowned when he felt her tremble in his arms and frowned even more so when he felt something wet dribble down his shoulder. He pulled back to look at her, quickly brushing her tears away. A crying Lizzie was one of few things he could not stomach.
"I'm sorry it took me so long," he said softly. "I seem to have a forgetful first mate." He paused, grinning when a small smile flashed across her lips, however briefly. "I came as soon as I could. What's happened?" he asked, his voice firm. "Tell me, 'Lizabeth."
"I'm getting married," she told him, her voice wavering as she spoke.
"I know this," he nodded, smiling at her.
"No," she shook her head, placing her hands on the flat part of his chest. "I'm getting married… tomorrow."
Tomorrow. Not good. No, no… not good.
"I see," he bit the inside of his cheek as he spoke, making his voice sound muffled. He had to think fast. He had very little time to convince her to change her mind, but when he spoke, what came out and his tone of voice were not at all what he wanted. "Me offer still stands, just so ye know. The Pearl's plenty big enough, luv."
"Do it, Elizabeth!" Rosalind said suddenly. Until that time, Elizabeth had forgotten that there was anyone else in the world (let alone, the room) other than her and Jack. "Sorry," her dark eyes fluttered to the ground, suddenly embarrassed by her little outburst.
Elizabeth's eyes darted to Will, who lightly shrugged his shoulders and offered her a small smile. "The choice is yours," he said quietly.
"Lizzie?" Elizabeth looked back to Jack, her eyes shining brightly with tears. "Just answer yerself this, darlin'… when was the last time you did what you wanted to do?" She paused, taking the thought in. When was the last time she made a decision that didn't follow what her father wanted, or what James wanted, or what society told her to do? She couldn't remember. It was like the Elizabeth she used to be sailed away with Jack all those months ago, after his escape, leaving an unsure, frightened little girl in her place. She hated that… she hated that her independence had become so far removed from her. What had happened to her dreams of the sea life? The salty ocean spray in her face, the sound of gulls overhead and nothing but blue waters and clear skies for miles upon miles… had those dreams died with her spirit?
"Jack, I…" Say it, a voice in her head told her. Just say it. Say you'll go with him. She recognized that voice. It was her voice. This was what she wanted. She smiled and was about to gratefully accept his offer when the sound of boots on the cobblestone just outside the shop broke the silence for her. She whirled her head around and Jack's eyes darted towards the door, as did Rosalind's and Will's.
"It's James!" Rosalind whispered loudly, peering out the window. "You have to hide, both of you!"
"What?" Elizabeth whispered back, her eyes growing frantic. Why both of them?
"Quick, this way," Will lightly grabbed Elizabeth by the arm and motioned for Jack to follow, guiding both of them towards the back of the shop to a rickety looking storage closet. Before Elizabeth could object, Will was pushing her inside and Jack was assisting him by tugging on her hand. Not another word was spoken and the door shut behind her, leaving her pressed up against Jack's chest in the cramped, dark space.
"Why am I here?" she muttered under her breath, shifting uncomfortably, feeling completely awkward given her current position.
"Well…" Jack whispered back, his eyes darting away from hers. "Should yer answer to my offer be a positive one, yer friend out there probably figured that the little anyone sees of you, the better." He looked back at her and their eyes locked. She could feel the heat from his body and wondered if he was always this warm, and that if he was, if that was a good thing. In the few dances that she and James had shared while in London, she remembered his hands being cold, his clothing stiff against hers. Jack's jacket and shirt felt worn in the best possible way and they smelled so good… so much like him.
"Mr. Turner, good day." Elizabeth tore her eyes from his face and sucked in a sharp breath when she heard her fiancé's voice. "Miss Avery?" The surprise in his voice at seeing Rosalind was quite apparent and Elizabeth squeezed her eyes shut.
"Breathe, Lizzie," she heard Jack whisper lightly. "You'll faint otherwise an' blow our cover." She looked at him to find him smirking. "Can't have that, can we?"
"Commodore Norrington," Elizabeth turned her head to the side when she heard Rosalind greet him.
"Commodore," Will greeted. "What can I do for you?"
"I'm looking for Elizabeth," he said frankly, the tone in his voice becoming more stern, if not irritated. "I know she spends quite a bit of time here. Have you seen her?"
"Not since this morning," Elizabeth heard Rosalind, impressed by her ability to lie. What a fine pirate she'd make… "I came here to look for her myself. Mr. Turner was just telling me he had yet to see her, either."
"I understand." The sound of James' footsteps heading for the door made Elizabeth let go a small, quite sigh of relief, yet she found herself angry with him for being so short with people she considered to be her closest friends. "You'll direct her back to the mansion if you see her?"
"Of course," Will replied.
"Miss Avery? May I accompany you home?"
"I can find my own way. But thank you for your kind offer," Rosalind assured him. No further goodbyes could be heard over the slam of the door, James' footsteps quieting as they disappeared back down the alleyway.
"Well?" Elizabeth looked back to Jack. "What'll it be, Lizzie?" His hands had crept up her arms, holding onto her gently. She briefly closed her eyes, imagining what it would be like to just melt against him and stay there forever. It made her feel truly peaceful for the first time since she'd been engaged.
"Yes." She whispered, opening her eyes. "Yes."
A/N: Yay! Jack'n'Lizzie are one step closer to the inevitable! Since it will be awhile before I update next, I'll give you all a few spoilers. The next chapter will involve Lizzie sneaking out of Port Royale with Jack. Once on the Pearl, she'll write two letters to James and her father apologizing for her abrupt departure, all the while being quite careful to not involve Jack. However, those letters could end up being disastrous for him anyways. We'll see a lot more emotion from Elizabeth as she deals with the guilt of abandoning the life she once knew.
There won't be any more letters between Jack and Elizabeth (seeing as how they're living on the same ship now), except for a few sporadic ones in the chapters to come. I have a very good idea as to where I want to take this story and plan on it being very long, so look forward to lots of Sparrabeth to come!
Thanks so much for reading, now go review! See you all at Chapter 12!