God, is it Sunday again? That pissed by, didn't it. Where are we... oh yes, Tanya's rocked up. Let the shit storm begin!
I thought I'd point out that I know my writing isn't the best. Grammar, punctuation and other being off, but I kinda like it like that. I mean, it's not so awful that you can't understand what the hell's going on, right? I think I like it cause the imperfections and flaws, many flaws, are like Bella's personality in writing form. Maybe I'm just making excuses.
Oh, and awfully self promoting of me but I've finished my other mini fic, Misery. So, if you want to read a proper, fully Betaed story that won't take all day to read, please have a look.
Anyway, on with the show!
XxX
What?
"What?" Everyone looked at me. Shit, I said that out loud, didn't I? I cleared my throat and stood up, walking over to the door. "Hello, I'm Bella."
"привет, I am Tanya." Great, she's tall, she's hot and now she's Russian. Game over.
"Hey Alice, how are you?" Please talk to me.
"Hi, Rose. Ooh, is that a Vera Wang dress?" She walked to the dining table, not even glancing at me. Peter hissed.
"That's cold." I glared at him. He held his hands up. "I'm only stating a fact."
"I need a drink." I walked into their small kitchen and reach in the back of the fridge where I knew they kept a bottle of vodka, and also took out a carton of grape juice then opened a cupboard and grabbed their salt shaker. I grabbed a shot glass from the glass rack and filled half of it with the vodka and the other with the grape juice then shook some salt in the glass. I threw the shot back and hissed as I felt the burn in the back of my throat. I quickly made another one and sat down next to Em.
"Are you okay?" Em paused his game and looked at me, worried. I waved my hand dismissively and threw back my other shot.
"I'm fine. Thought I could use a drink."
"The average person lies four times a day," He said randomly. Okay... "And the most common is saying I'm fine or I'm okay."
"Em please, don't you start. I've had Jasper on my ass for three months, one more person jumps on his band wagon and I'll jump out the closest window."
"We all want you to be happy." I dropped the shot glass on the coffee table and stood up.
"That's great. I'm going out to the hallway and have a quick smoke." I grasped my pack inside my jacket's pocket and walked out the door, without looking near the dining table and shut the door closely behind me. I sat on the top step and lit up one of my last cigarettes. The apartment door opened and I expected Jasper to walk out and verbally bitch slap me. Instead Tanya closed the door and smiled at me like we were best friends for years.
"May I have a cigarette?" I nodded curtly and threw her my last cigarette and my lighter.. "спасибо." She sat down next to me and handed back my lighter. "I should give up but it is hard." She smiled at me. We're obviously girlfriends now in her mind and have to share every secret and detail of our lives.
"Yea smoking, it's... it's a tough one." I inhaled as far as I could go and a quarter of my cigarette disappeared.
"How do you know Alice?" She asked innocently. I stared at her, shocked. What?
"She hasn't told you about me? Nothing?"
"No, she not mention you." Just punch me already, it'd be less fucking painful.
"Okay... Well, I've been one of her closest friends for the past five years and have helped her through most of her break ups." And gave her the best sex of her life, but then you hit the scene, I added silently.
"You very close?" I looked at her, confused. "To Alice." She added.
"I used to be, but we drifted apart lately." Because I was being the second biggest dick in the world only just being beaten by Ashton Kutcher. I stubbed out my cigarette, putting it back in the packet and stood up. "Enjoy your cigarette." I walked back into the apartment
"Where did you creep off to?" Rose asked, just looking up long enough to notice me entering before she went back to her wedding magazine.
"Outside to smoke, where I properly met Tanya. She's a barrel of fun. You picked well, Alice." I sat in between Peter and Em on the couch and grabbed his almost empty beer bottle.
"Are you okay?" Peter looked at me, sympathetic. I rolled my eyes. Yay, pity party for me!
"Can people stop asking me that? I'm fine, why wouldn't I be? I'm happy, la la la la la, see?" I drank the last of the bottle and wedged it between Em's thighs. "Anyone want anything?" They both shook their heads and turned back to their game. I opened the fridge and grabbed one of Em's Coors and twisted off the cap, immediately drinking down half of it.
"Bella are you-"
"Yes Jasper, I am fine. I'd like it if no one asked me that anymore today, okay?" I finished my beer and dropped it in the trash next to me. "I'm going for another smoke." I pulled my pack out of my pocket and saw it was empty. "Fuck." I threw it in the trash. "I'm going out to get another pack." I walked out the apartment without another word and walked through the throng of people to the closest liquor store. I paid for my cigarettes and walked back to the apartment. I sat on my now empty step and opened the pack, lighting a cigarette and sighed out a puff of smoke.
"I thought you stopped." I looked up and Alice was leaned on the door. I shrugged and looked back at the ground.
"Habits die hard." I inhaled then blew the smoke out my nose. "Do you still hate me?" I was quite afraid of the answer. It seemed like forever before she answered but when I glanced at my watch it was barely a minute.
"A part of me does, yes," I winced. "But the bigger, non bitch part, has forgiven you. You were right, we weren't together like that and I had no reason to be jealous or react like I did."
"No, no," I leapt up from the step and walked over to her. "No, you had every right to act the way you did, we had an agreement, I should've told you right off the bat." She cringed as smoke hit her face. I dropped the cigarette and crushed it under my shoe. "Sorry. I went behind your back, even if we weren't in a relationship, I should've told you. I'm sorry." I stepped back and leaned against the rail opposite her. "Tanya... she seems like a great girl." I'm pretty sure she could tell I was lying through my teeth. "How long have you been together?"
"Around two weeks, maybe three." I nodded and toed the ground.
"So, how much did you have to pay for Miss Russia?" You fucking moron! What the hell is wrong with me? I wanted to take the words back as soon as they left.
"I can't believe you, Bella! I should have known you'd make a comment but no, I had to be naïve and think you'd be mature about this and not be a dick." She threw her hands in the air in frustration.
"What do you expect? You call it a 'relationship' when all it is, is a rebound."
"No, my rebound was with Lacey two months ago!" She shouted at me. I'm sure everyone in the apartment could hear through the door.
"Lacey? Lacey Richards? You hate that bitch, you said you'd happily rip off her eyelashes if she gave you the chance." Jealously was running through my body, throwing a bitch fit like a three year old.
"We sorted out our differences."
"Obviously." I sneered.
"Don't you use that tone with me. I have every right to do the things I've done. You've done much worse." She point out. "Speaking of which, how is Leah? Still having fun, or have you tossed her aside?"
"We're fine, great friends." I lied. I didn't want to give her the satisfaction of her being right about me.
"Hmm, great." She turned around and opened the door. "Have fun with her."
"Have fun with little Miss Russia, helping her with her green card." I smirked.
Alice glared at me. "You're such a bitch, Bella, I don't know what's happened to you." She slammed the door shut behind her. I groaned and banged my head against the wall. You just couldn't keep your mouth shut could you?
"What the hell is wrong with you?" Jasper suddenly appeared next to me causing me to jump out of my skin. "We could hear you in the apartment." See, I was right.
"Is anyone else going to visit me in the hall?"
"You've spent more time out here than you have in the apartment."
"Can you blame me?" I took out another cigarette and lit it. If I smoke anymore, people will think a new pope has been elected. "With the happy fucking couple meters away from me?" My grip on my lighter increased.
"You haven't looked in their direction at all while you were in there, how could you tell what they were doin'?"
"I just... I just could, okay? It's... infuriating," I sat back down on my step. "Knowing I've most likely missed my chance, and I've been given quite a few chances with her."
"Are you acceptin' your feelin's for Alice?" Jasper sat next to me. I chuckled and blew out smoke.
"I'm not saying I've fallen ass over tit for her, but... I don't know, maybe I'm just wanting what I don't have."
"Do you think you're idealizin' her?"
"No, I see her flaws, she doesn't have a lot but she has them. I love her, not in love, but I definitely love her."
"That's some way of showin' it." He hit my shoulder.
"Ow!" I rubbed the sore spot.
"Don't ow, you deserve it. You called her girlfriend a whore."
"I did no such thing!"
"You intended it."
"Oh come on! She's not even a girlfriend, she's a green card." I said loudly.
"Keep your voice down." Jasper hissed. "Do not let your petty jealously ruin Alice's relationship."
"It is not a rela-" Jasper gave me a look. I sighed. "Whatever makes her happy."
"It's nice that you're actin' more like an adult. Hopefully you'll be partial to the truth one day."
"The truth is rarely pure and never simple." I took another inhale before letting the cigarette burn itself out.
He smiled. "Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead."
"Deceiving others. That is what the world calls romance."
"Hatred is blind, as well as love."
"The only way to get rid of temptation is to yield to it... I can resist anything but temptation." I sighed and rolled the remaining cigarette between my thumb and index.
"Do you really think it is weakness that yields to temptation? I tell you that there are terrible temptations which it requires strength, strength and courage to yield to."
I snorted. "When the gods wish to punish us they answer our prayers." I didn't know how to respond to that and I didn't want to be the first to fuck up a quote.
"Men always want to be a woman's first love – women like to be a man's last romance."
"The advantage of the emotions is that they lead us astray."
"I see when men love women. They give them but a little of their lives. But women when they love give everythin'." Jasper told me, giving me a glance.
"Experience is simply the name we give our mistakes." I'm just listing off quotes I can remember now.
"A man can't be too careful in the choice of his enemies." I saw him frown. "No. Pessimist: One who, when he has the choice of two evils, chooses both." He amended.
"One's past is what one is. It is the only way by which people should be judged."
"There are only two tragedies in life; one is not gettin' what one wants, and the other is gettin' it."
"The only thing to do with good advice is to pass it on. It is never of any use to oneself." I pointed out.
"Here's mine: Never play with the feelin's of others because you may win the game but the risk is that you will surely lose the person for a life time." Jasper squeezed my knee. I nodded and I stubbed my cigarette, which was pretty much the filter, on the step below me and stood up.
"Her happiness is all I care about."
He stood up and hugged me. "I'm proud of you. I never knew you knew so many Oscar Wilde quotes." I rolled my eyes. "Look at it this way; it can't get worse than it already is." I chuckled.
"If it's me, it always can. I bet you if I stepped on a leprechaun I'd break my ankle." He laughed and opened the apartment door. I proved Jasper right when I looked in the kitchen and saw Alice and Tanya making out, looking like they were about to fuck right there and then. "Told you." I sat down next to Rose and flipped through a magazine.
"How are you, Bella?" Rose stopped her intense scanning of her hundreds of magazines.
"I am fine." I stared blankly at an advert for Lancôme's new perfume. "Perfectly fine."
"Are you sure?"
"Yup, sure, hundred percent." I closed the magazine and leaned back in my chair. This fucking sucks, to put it lightly. I looked out the window and noticed it was getting dark. "I think I'm going to Antarctica. I've missed that place. See ya." I got up and walked out of the apartment. As I walked down to the bar I listened to the sounds of New York and I have to say I've missed it. Police sirens, car horns and someone shouting, 'Move asshole!'. Okay maybe not. I saw the black door with Antarctica mounted above it and smiled.
A Red Hot Chilli Pepper song was playing on the Juke box when I stepped through. It was pretty slow for a Friday night from what I could remember. I walked up to the bar and sat on 'my' stool and ordered a Corona.
"Bella?" I looked up when I heard my name. Charlotte, one of my oldest friends and the person who did my tattoos, was standing in front of me.
"Holy shit Char!" I grinned.
"Oh my god, it is you!" She ran around the bar and hugged me tightly. "You look... like hell, what's happened?" She took a step back and scrutinized me closely.
"Wow, thanks. I don't see you for four years and you tell me I look like shit." I faked offence.
"I didn't use the word shit, I used the word hell, there is a difference." She corrected me. I rolled my eyes.
"Forgive my carelessness over your choice of words, I promise not to be so foolish next time." She pushed me and I chuckled. "So, how was Texas?" Char got accepted into the university of Houston four years ago.
"It was amazing! At first the heat was murderous but when you grow accustom to that, it is lovely." She gushed. She continued on about the campus and the classes, all the friends she made and a few boyfriends she had.
"No one's caught the lady's eye permanently then?" I smirked.
"Not in Texas." A light pink coloured her cheeks. I raised my eyebrows, waiting for her to continue. "I met him the first day I came back here. He is so handsome in a rugged outdoors way. His name's Peter and he has the most amazing blue eyes I've ever seen." Char's face took on a dreamy look as her eyes glazed over. Peter? You can't be serious...
"Char," She wasn't paying attention to me. "Charlotte," I clapped my hands in front of her face. She blinked and glared. "Don't glare, you weren't paying attention. His name's Peter?" She nodded. "Is he 6'1 maybe 6'2, light blonde, quite bulky but not in a scary weightlifter way and got Wolverine sideburns?"
"Yes, how do you... Oh god, please don't tell me you've slept with him." She begged me. I snorted.
"God no... well sort of, a bit, I mean it was a one time thing and it didn't even last two weeks."
"Oh my god, are you kidding me? Have you slept with everyone in New York?"
"No, but it seems like I'm trying to." I sighed. It really did seem like it.
"It's nice to see even after all this time you're the same as ever." She patted my arm. "So where have you been hiding this lovely specimen of a man from me?"
"I don't know how you haven't met him before. He's Jasper's brother and has been my mate for years-"
"Wait, wait one minute," She interrupted me. "Jasper has a brother? When did this happen?"
"Sorry, have we met? Bella Swan, aged 21, 5'7, lived in New York for over six years until I moved to Washington. Best friend Jasper, who has a brother."
"You introduce yourself like that everytime?"
"Har har har, very witty Char." I slumped in my stool and rested my elbow on the bar. "Now that I think about it, it's not surprising that you haven't met Peter between you being in Houston and him being shipped to Afghanistan."
"He's a solider?" She sounded and looked thrilled by the idea. "That's so... so..." She trailed off, looking glazed over again.
"Tell me when you've finished fantasising." I grabbed a discarded newspaper – yes I do read them, I know shocking – and waited for Charlotte to come out of her stupor.
"Enough about my love life, how is yours?" I heaved a sigh and dropped my newspaper, slumping further in my chair. "That bad?"
"I've got a question and you have to be completely hundred percent honest with me." She nodded looking a little concerned. "Did you ever see me and Alice as more than friends? Like with the way we acted around each other?"
"I know Alice loves you." She stopped short and grimaced. "Whoops. Did I let the cat out of the bag?"
"How the fuck did you find out?"
"It was the night before I left for Huston. Remember when you couldn't stop laughing at your feet?" I shook my head. That whole night was blurry to blank. "What about when you finished all your smokes so you tore a piece of paper and used grass and made a makeshift cigarette?"
"No."
"It was between those two when Alice told me."
"What the fuck? Was I the last person to know?"
"Yes. Even Toby knew before you." She chuckled.
"Fuck. Why didn't anyone tell me? There were enough of you bastards."
"I can't speak for everyone, but I didn't tell you because Alice asked me not to."
I sighed. "Fucking brilliant."
"How did you find out?"
"It's a long story." I warned her, meaning I didn't want to tell her.
"I can wait." I sighed and told her everything from the Leah thing to the Russian whore comment. You can't keep secrets from her for long. After I finished I looked at her expectantly. She grabbed my ear and pulled me down to face level. "What is the matter with you? You have broken that poor girl's heart and have kicked it for good measure when you slept with Leah, Heidi and god knows how many others."
"Please let go of my ear please. I'll do whatever you want if you let go of my ear." I begged, trying to pull away. She twisted it tighter. "Ow! Fucking ow, I'll fix it, I'll fix it! I'll cut out my kidney and put it in a Tiffany box for her. Please let me go." She released her Hulk grip on my ear and crossed her arms over her chest.
"How are you going to fix it?"
"I don't know." I rubbed my ear. "Its too late anyway, she's got Tanya." Char's hand reached for my ear again. "Stay the hell away from me, she devil." I flinched back.
"If you do something utterly romantic and show her you do have feelings for her, then she might possibly leave Tanya and start a relationship with you."
"I'm not romantic, you know that. What can I do? Chop off my ear?"
"No," She sighed. "No chopping of body parts. Do something that's... you." She said finally.
"That's it? That's all you're giving me, be myself? Being myself is how I got in this problem to begin with. If I follow that I'll probably end up drunk on her doorstep slurring it all out." I told the truth.
"That's not... Well, that is very you. You could tell all without the alcohol."
"But then it wouldn't be me." I smirked. She slapped my shoulder.
"Don't be a smartass. Think. Something that would mean greatly to Alice, something that would show without a doubt that you are finished screwing her about." I leaned back in my stool and stared at the ceiling. Something that would show her I'm finished screwing her around...
"Christmas is coming up... We shared an English class." I commented.
"Walk me through your line of thought," She twiddled her hands.
"We met in English and got to know each other when we were paired up for an assignment; Lolita."
"It's a nice idea but no. I'm sorry, but a book isn't going to work."
"What about a first edition kind of thing? I don't know what else to get her. I left the presents I bought her ages ago up in Washington." I ran my hand through my hair.
"Lolita... Maybe she will like it. If she remembers the first assignment you two shared maybe she'll find it sweet, even romantic." Char stopped and passed a cocktail jug to the other barmaid behind her. "Do you want me to help you search the bookstores?"
I nodded as I took a drink. "Yes, please. Are you free tomorrow?" Char nodded and went back to work.
I slowly finished my beer and when I was planning on leaving the bar was packed. "Char, I'll see you soon. Call me whenever." I kissed her cheek and left her to her busy night. I was roughly three blocks away from the apartment when I felt someone close behind me.
"Hey girlie. What ye doin' out 'ere all on yer lonesome?" The guy stepped up next to me and gripped my upper arm. I turned around, ripping my arm out of his hand and took a step back.
"I am not getting fucking murdered on my first night back." I spat him. He smiled at me and took a step forward, making me step back into an alley. Oh fuck no.
"Na, na girlie, ye got me wrong. I'm not a murderer." He stepped towards me again, making me press against one of the alley walls. No, no, fucking no, not this. "I'm goin' ta mug ye." He grinned bigger and pulled out a knife. Actually knife was too big a word for it. It was more like Action man's butter knife.
"With that?" I laughed. He was bigger than me and had a 'weapon' but I was faster and could probably out run him. "That's nothing, that's a toothpick." Now is not the time to piss off a guy with a knife, my mind's reasonable side advised me. Guy's face darkened and he charged at me slicing the blade across my cheekbone. I guess I wasn't faster than him. I cried out and cupped my bleeding cheek. "You bastard." I hissed.
"Ye ain't in any position ta call names, girlie." Without thinking my hand snapped forward and punched him in the stomach. He doubled over, dropping the knife and groaning. I made a run for it but didn't even make it to the mouth of the alley before I was grabbed by the ankle and yanked to the floor. The air rushed out of my lungs, making me unable to scream for help. He turned me over and grinned down at me. "That was a wrong move, girlie." He clasped his hands around my throat, his body weight stopping me from trying to escape. My vision started flickering as my hands scratched and dug into his hands. Close to passing out, I felt his hands leave my throat and I gulped huge mouthfuls of beautiful air. I blinked my eyes clear and saw him still grinning at me before he punched me once and heard something crack. My ears rang and my vision flickered once again before I jumped into unconscious.
Ah fuck.
XxX
This might sound fucked up but I really liked how this chapter ended. Anyone gonna agree with me?
Kick a review over when you're finished.