Chapter 14, Day 4
"You upset with me?" he asked looking over at her from the driver's seat of the pickup truck.
"No," she said as she continued staring out the window, one leg bent and propped up on the seat, her body angled toward the door.
It was a question he'd asked and an answer he'd received hundreds of times before in his life, only this time he didn't feel like he was walking into a trap. Her voice was soft and almost sad, with no trace of anger. He glanced at her again seeing that she was still looking away from him.
"I know this feels like giving up, but it's not. It's just another approach."
"I know."
They'd led a group out to get a better look at what they were dealing with, and hopefully divert the herd, but their attempts were unsuccessful given the sheer number of them. The advancing front line of walkers spanned at least half a football field making it impossible for the group to wrangle enough of them to change the overall direction. Michonne advocated staying out there to keep trying, but the majority of the group sided with Rick and felt they should take advantage of the lead they still had on the herd and return to the community to continue with reinforcements. He knew that at this point, that they weren't any worse off taking their chances that the herd would change course on its own or just pass on by, but not siding with her never sat well with him. He laid his right hand on the seat next to her, palm facing up and open. When she didn't see it, he extended his hand over further and tapped the outside of her leg with the back of his index finger, finally getting her attention. She looked over at him, his eyes focused on the road, and then down at his hand. Smiling at the gesture, she placed her hand in his.
"Honestly, I'm fine. I'm on board," she reassured him. "Just feeling whatever that feeling is when there's a huge herd of walkers coming for you."
"Bothered?" he suggested flippantly.
"Just a little," she responded dryly. She exhaled and turned her body so that she was facing him. "I mean, the fuck Rick? After everything we've been through, we're back at walkers. It's just-" she was just starting to unload her frustrations when he cut her off.
"Hey," he said softly tossing a glance her way. "We've got about 5 minutes left before we get home. Let's talk about something else until then."
She eyed him wearily for a moment, then hesitantly agreed. "Sure..."
"There's just nothing we can do about it until we get back, so what's the point, right?"
"Right...Morgan must have been laying on the Zen pretty thick this afternoon," she teased.
"No, it's not even that," he said with a roll of his eyes before turning serious. "The minute we get back, it all starts again. We're gonna get pulled in a million different directions for who knows how long dealing with this herd. I just need this. Who else can I do this with?"
He continued looking ahead at the road, left elbow propped in the open window with his hand on the wheel, and the other still holding her hand, squeezing it softly for emphasis when he spoke. She slowly nodded in recognition as she looked him over from her side of the truck. He looked so damn perfect as he sat there in his worn and dirtied button down light green shirt with the sleeves rolled just so, three days' worth of scruff, and tousled mess of curls being blown around by the wind blowing through the rolled down window. She couldn't help but smile at the sight of him, but mostly because as of this morning, they were all in. Completely and unequivocally. They'd been intuitively taking care of each some time now. When one was down, the other rallied without question. It was seamless, and in this instance, she felt like she had missed her cue. She glanced over her left shoulder out the back window, which prompted Rick to look up at the rear view to see what she was looking at. They were in the lead of a caravan of three cars, followed immediately by Aaron, Eric, Glenn, and Maggie in the rusted red sedan behind them. She released his hand so that she could unbuckle her seat belt then slid across the front seat of the truck until she was right next to him, her thigh brushing his. He looked at her, raising a curious eyebrow while his lips formed into a nervous grin. She realized that he wasn't quite sure what her intentions were in that moment.
"Yeah, that's not what's happening right now. Sorry," she clarified in a low voice with a smile. He let out a chuckle in response and she was sure she noticed a small blush on his face which caused her to blush slightly, as well. She placed her left hand at the back of his neck, instead, and began lightly massaging his tired muscles. The sensation caused him to exhale and drop his head momentarily. She continued gently rubbing the area while they rode in silence for a minute, her mind thinking back over what had been a very good day until she spotted the herd in the distance. She began to laugh to herself as one memory crossed her mind.
"What?" he asked looking over at her with a smile.
"Did you see your daughter before we left?"
"Yeah."
"You notice her outfit?"
"Yeah..." he said making a face as he realized what she was referring to. "I know we're behind on laundry, but I didn't think things were that bad."
"That's not even it. After breakfast, I asked Carl to get her dressed and that's what he came up with," she said giggling as she pictured the baby dressed in a red checked top and purple striped pants this morning. It was a noticeable departure from her usually matching pastel outfits.
"Does color-blindness run in the family?" Rick just shook his head no with a laugh. "I'm serious. I have legitimate concerns."
"I think it's just called being a teenage boy with no fashion sense. That he probably got from me."
"Poor Judes, looking like a little Punky Brewster."
"A what?"
"Punky Brewster. A TV show from when we were kids?" His expression was blank. "No?"
"Nope."
"How old are you?"
"Not that much older than you, so watch it...we didn't watch a lot of TV growing up."
"So what did you do for fun?"
"Homework, chores, play outside mostly."
"Chores and homework for fun?" she asked with a frown.
"Well, it's what I did when I wasn't in school. How I spent my free time."
"Your parents pretty strict?"
"Not more so than anyone else's I knew, but yeah, there were rules and there were consequences for breaking those rules."
"And did you face those consequences often?" she asked hoping to dig up some dirt on young Rick Grimes.
"Uh, no. A few times was enough to keep me on the straight and narrow for a long time."
"So responsible. You were the oldest, weren't you?"
"Yeah, I had a younger brother...you know, I feel like I'm on trial here," he said with a grin.
"No," she said emphatically as she gave his upper back a squeeze. "I love this. Getting to know each other is one of the best parts about the beginning," she said with a grin.
"This isn't anywhere near as entertaining for me as it is for you."
"I am enjoying this way too much. I could go on all night."
"Yeah, well, unfortunately that's not gonna happen," he said as the gates to the community came into view in the distance. "Come here," he said as he lifted his right hand to her opposite cheek and turned her face towards his. He averted his eyes from the road to give her a quick kiss on lips. She grinned to herself, then slid back over to her side of the truck since they were coming up on the gates.
"This sucks," she said causing him to laugh at her given her choice of words. Everything about it sucked indeed: the oncoming herd, the possibility of damage to their community, the feeling of being powerless, and the lack of time to explore their new relationship.
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Michonne walked up to the house two down from hers and knocked at the door. Shortly thereafter, she was greeted by the youngest Anderson boy.
"Hey Sam. Is your mom home?"
"Yeah. Hang on," he said as he walked back inside, leaving the door open. "Mom!"
Michonne stood on the porch looking at their living room which housed an easel and numerous paintings on the wall. Jessie came in from the garage through the side door, her hair up in a messy ponytail and a paint stained smock thrown over her jeans and green flannel shirt.
"Hi," Jessie greeted her as she wiped her hands on her smock.
"You paint?" Michonne asked pointing at the easel in her living room.
"I dabble. Art school dropout," she said pointing at herself. "Do you?"
"No, but I love art. I had some very close friends who were artists, so it was a big part of my life."
"Mmm," Jessie just nodded politely, not so interested in exploring their common interest. "So how can I help you?"
"Well, I'm making the rounds to let everyone know that we're going to need people to buddy up again tonight. There's a large group of walkers headed our way and we need people to stay indoors for safety reasons. Also no lights and minimal noise after dusk so we don't incite them. Hopefully they'll pass with no problem, but anything could happen and we just need to be prepared."
"OK," Jessie said with her hand on the door looking anxious to close it and go back to her project.
"Oh, and Rick also asked me to pass along the message that your family was reassigned to Morgan. He'll be over within the hour," Michonne said nodding waiting for Jessie to give her conformation that she understood. Instead, she just stood there with a blank expression. "Any questions?"
Jessie remained tight-lipped and shook her head no, so Michonne turned and started to leave.
"It's not fair," she said timidly to Michonne's back.
"Excuse me?" she asked in confusion as she turned to face Jessie.
"You don't need someone like Rick. You can protect yourself, and it just doesn't seem fair..." she trailed off as she realized that she was coming off wrong based on Michonne's expression. "I'm sorry. It's just that you know what I went through with Pete, and then Rick came along offering to help, and I thought it meant something. I thought he came into my life for a reason and things were finally going to be set right for us. And now Pete's gone and we're being attacked and...and I don't know how someone like me is supposed to make it alone."
Michonne stood silent for a moment, processing what she had just heard. As far as Jessie was concerned, Michonne had it all, and relatively speaking, she did, which is why she didn't allow Jessie's words to provoke her.
"Jessie, you won't make it if you have to depend on someone else for your survival. But you're right; you also can't do it alone, no matter how strong you are. Not even Rick or I can. I'm not sure if that makes sense to you yet, but it will in time. Like he said, we'll teach you how to survive. In the meantime, just know that we're doing everything we can to protect you, your boys, and this community."
Jessie just quietly nodded in response, feeling somewhat put in her place, and watched as Michonne walked away from her house.
Michonne jogged over to the front gates where the crew that she had returned with earlier was busy placing extra barriers around the perimeter to impede the oncoming herd. The increased activity of stray walkers continued, and the snipers positioned at the corners continued taking them out, but the advancing herd was drawing closer and they would have to make their decision soon. Michonne spotted Rick by the gate and made her way over to him.
"Hey, I finished informing the rest of the residents about the curfew tonight. What can I do to help?" she asked. He turned his attention to the others scurrying around him and shook his head.
"Nothing," he said. "They're moving slow, but they're close enough now that we should probably call everyone in." She just nodded and she stared blankly at the others working around her, still slightly distracted by the conversation she'd just had. "You OK?" Rick asked dipping his head down to meet her eyes.
"Yeah."
"So you agree?"
"Yeah, go ahead."
With that, Rick gave a quick whistle to get the group's attention, "That's it everyone. Stop by the armory to stock up, then back with your groups. No noise and lights out. Nobody leaves until you get a signal from us," he said motioning to himself and Michonne.
"No matter what happens out here?" Maggie asked.
"No matter what," Rick reiterated. "If they make it in, just stay hunkered down." The group began to disperse and Rick looked to his side at Michonne. "You ready?" She nodded her head and they both turned back toward their house.
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The Grimes family gathered in Michonne's bedroom upstairs so as to avoid movement and noise downstairs that would draw walkers in case of a breach. Carl and Michonne had just started a game of Scrabble on the floor, and Rick leaned up against the wall next to Carl with Judith in his lap figuring his son could use the extra help since he was facing off against Michonne. They were 30 minutes into curfew and sun would be setting soon. The sounds of walkers coming up against the metal walls had continued to grow louder, but they tried to ignore it and stick to the plan no matter how counter-intuitive it felt. Michonne could feel the tension rising in her and looked across the board at Rick while Carl busied himself trying to come up with a word on this turn. Rick met her eyes and acknowledged her with a nod. He knew that part of her wanted to go out there and take action, because he felt the pull, too, but this was unlike any threat they had encountered and they had to respect the threat.
A banging at the front door got their attention.
"Rick! Michonne!" called out a man's voice from below. Rick handed Judith to Carl and got up.
"Stay," he said to them as he left the room. He opened the front door, and quickly ushered Morgan in, then closed it behind him.
"I can't find Jessie and her boys anywhere. They're not answering at her house and they're not at mine," he said.
"She was supposed to be at her place."
"Well, she's nowhere to be found," Morgan answered.
Rick exhaled in frustration. "Wherever they are, so long as they stay inside, they should be OK. You should just stay here. No sense in being on your own."
"They're starting to build up, Rick. I saw a cluster over by the spot where we patched up the break from the attack. I'm not sure how long it can hold."
"We knew this could happen, right? So we stick with the plan. It's all we can do now. Come on," Rick said leading Morgan back upstairs to join Michonne and the children.
A/N: I have no idea why, but that chapter was a tough one and hard to get out. Maybe it's because last chapter was so damn fun to write because they DID IT (squee!). Your reactions to that made my day. Thanks so much for reading and commenting. Real life is about to get a little crazy for me, so updates may stretch out a little longer than usual. Sorry.