Xander Unknown

by Rob Morris

THE ROAD OUT OF CALIFORNIA, 2003

The schoolbus came to a halt. The large man in the road, known to most, was no mere man. The blond-tressed thunder god walked up to the door.

"I wouldst speak with the one thee calls Alexander Harris, and I would do so with all due dispatch. Hail to Thee, Ye Slayers, and all praise to Buffy, scourge of the Transylvanian Fiend!"

Buffy gulped.

"We really only met the once."

As Xander waved a weak, hopefully temporary goodbye, Kennedy nudged a dazed Willow.

"I'll say it. Muscles that size get the attention, I don't care who you are. Could even grab my attention--make a smart girl wander off. Waddya think, Will?"

"He's always had my attention."

It took Kennedy a moment to realize Willow didn't mean Thor.

"Hey, you'll see him again."

Thoughts of doing without the one who she had known since before they could think had the wiccan very upset indeed.

"I just better."

Faith stood up, looking enraged.

"B, there are like twenty-five Slayers here, Hello? We could have taken Blondie-Boy, stead' of letting one of the best people we know get taken off for God knows What!"

Buffy handed the Scythe to Faith.

"See this? Powerful, right? Well, that was Thor, Faith! He probably could use this for a toothpick. He's an Avenger, and he's a god. A real one, the likes of which could pull Glory's hair and not even get a glare from her about it. And if we did take him down? Peeps, Faith. The weakest Asgardian is as strong as us, and the weakest Avenger fires deadly accurate arrows that could take down a skyscraper. So we wait. We wait, and we wait, because against him, even Dark Willow would be laughable."

Willow let this choice comment go, largely because she suspected its basic truth. When it came to raw power and skill, Thor was the proverbial iceberg. Only Giles was not speaking out loud, watching the rapidly retreating figures in the distance, held aloft by a whirling hammer. He muttered.

"One-Eye? No--it just couldn't be."

In the desert, far enough away from any manner of eavesdropping, Thor put Xander down. Harris shrugged, and then finally spoke. He just didn't speak at all like Xander.

"Why hast thou come? Speak, thunderer. Mine patience, it is known, has certain limits, limits thou wouldst do well not to test or tease at."

Thor, for his part, dropped to a more colloquial style of speech.

"Hello...Father."

'Xander' calmed a bit.

"I am well pleased to see thee, my eldest bloodson. Yet my time among these heroic mortals is far from done. And my ways of infiltration are more subtle than thine own. Better far to work as one unseen than an icon for their media to play with."

Thor half-smiled.

"You let yourself be tossed about by a troll."

"Aye, yet also did I draw demons away from the Slayer, remained an anchor to the Witch, raise them up through means hidden and weird, and focus their wandering eyes pon the battles at hand. Through the grim images I fashioned as 'parents', I made the Slayer feel better concerning her own. Through charms held back, I wooed the worthy Cordelia away from brainless friends. Foolish Angelus, trapped in the soul of the champion, still does not comprehend why he did not slaughter young Buffy, while she lay in hospital wih influenza. While it was that watching young Willow grow was near a source of pride to me as watching you. Amora's power shines in her line, as surely as Siegfried's line shines in Buffy. As to Dawn? Perhaps one day it is I will share with her alone who I am. The wily Watcher catches on from time to time--and must be made to forget. My time with mortals hath been as productive as thine own--with fewer smashed cities, I'd wager."

"Yes, Father. But--you were tossed about...by a troll."

Odin sighed, but at no time assumed his true form.

"How is thy brother?"

"Oddly, we two get along better when thee are not about. Plus, it is that these online wargames intrigue the trickster to no end."

He looked away from his son.

"What of Anya?"

"By thy command, she is dwelling in Valhalla. Hela was greatly upset, but now she and Anya are swapping vengeance stories, and all seems well."

Odin pointed again.

"Not before 2063, my son. I wish to see the Vulcans arrive. Then Balder may stand down."

Thor smiled, and began to spin Mjolinir.

"A day we all await, All-Father. My Father."

Back at the bus, Buffy stared at the disappearing thunder god.

"Xander, what did he want with you?"

The mind of the infinite had a quick answer.

"Sometimes, somebody, ya know, messes with his powers, so he wanted tips on how to get away from big-bads, and figged that the mortal member of the Scoobies was a good place to start."

Willow came forward and hugged her best friend.

"Stuck-up creep! He messes with you again, I'll take on him and his whole stupid family, Odin included."

Giles shook his head.

"Willow--really. Odin? He is a primal source of--"

"I'd do what I'd have to, Giles. For Xander."

Xander smiled, and held up her chin to look at him.

"You'd kick his sorry ass."