Since I watched Jay walked down them stairs, I knew from this point forward that it was going to get worse than this. I sat at my desk when I grabbed my bag and stood up to leave, "Where you going?" Antonio asked

"To Molly's. To find Jay"

"I'm coming with you" He said standing up

"You don't have-"

"No you don't know what state he's going to be in"

"Okay" I said as we both left together.

Nobody's POV

Erin and Anotnio got to Molly's and saw Jay's car parked on the street, "He's definitely here". They walked inside and looked over at the bar and saw Hermann point over to one of the booths at the end of the bar. Erin walked over but turned to Antonio, "Let me talk to him first..."

"Sure I'll wait at the bar"

Erin walked over and looked at Jay who was slouched in the seat surrounded by beer bottles.

Jay could hear the gunfire filling his head and the noise and explosions going off in every direction. He could see Mouse being beaten almost to death. It was all he could think about but he could hear a familiar voice in the background, "You coming home?" she asked him as he came out of his trance

"No"

"Jay, you can't do this..."

"Why not?"

"Because you have me your wife and George your son"

Jay listened to to Erin and he stood up and got in her face, "You think that makes me feel bad, huh... that your my wife, we've had sex once since I came back and we don't even love each other anymore"

Erin saw Antonio step forward and she put her hand up to tell him to stay put, "Jay this isn't you and you know it"

"How would you know"

"You're drunk Jay"

"And the award goes too..."

"JAY... I am your wife. I love you and I've been trying to help you. I want to help you through this"

"Well I don't need your help anymore" Jay slurred his words

Erin reached forward and grabbed his arm but as she did that he quickly reacted by pulling away but as he pulled away he pushed Erin and she fell to the ground. Antonio was over to Erin as she hit the floor and he got down next to her, "you ok?"

Erin nodded her head and looked up at Jay who looked just as surprised as she was. "Erin, I... I... I'm so sorry. You touched me and I reacted you knew what happen-" Jay was explaining himself when Antonio stood up and grabbed his shirt and pushed him up against the wall, "you need to get your shit together man!" Antonio said.

Erin quickly stood up and she could see Jay was in distress so she pulled Antonio off as hard as he could and Jay fell to the ground, "I'm I'm sor... sorry" he sobbed as Erin sat down next to him and pulled him into her arms.

"I know Jay"

"What have I done, what have I done" Jay kept repeating

"It's ok, I'm going to help you Jay, I'm gonna help you".

Antonio and Hermann stood and watched as Erin was trying to help Jay through this but they could see he was a broken man. Jay and Erin didn't move for a few hours Erin just sat up against the wall with Jay in her lap. She was stroking his hair when she looked down at him, "do you feel like going home?"

He nodded his head and Erin looked at Antonio for some help. Antonio walked over to help Jay up and as he went to grab his arm he pulled away, "no Jay it's ok. It's Tony, he's just trying to help" Erin said.

Jay put his hand out and Antonio pulled him up off the ground but as Jay stood up he looked at Antonio and hugged him, "I'm sorry" he said as he let go and he walked out with Erin.

Erin and Jay got back to the apartment and Jay walked through the door as the next door neighbour came out, "oh hey I'll pick George up in a little bit" Erin said to her

"Yeah that's fine" she said walking back in and shutting the door.

Erin walked in the apartment but she couldn't see Jay, "Jay?" She walked through the apartment and into the bedroom to see Jay packing a bag which was on the bed, "Jay, we need to be together on this"

"I can't, I don't trust myself. I need some time to get better and I can't hurt you in the process" Jay picked up his bag and went to walk out of the room when Erin grabbed, "you will be hurting me if you walk out that door"

"Erin I don't know what I'm capable of right now and I don't know to what extent I could go to right now. I can't risk it for and especially not for George. It's only for a few weeks" Jay said pulling his bag away and walking out the door.

Erin turned around as she watched him leave and she slowly backed up and slid down the wall. She pulled her knees up to her chest and just cried. She loved Jay and she wished she'd told him. It may have changed his mind.