Things began to close in around me slowly, as everything began to build up. Evan didn't stop with just that one attack, but it became almost a daily thing. I changed my training spot of course, portaling off grounds so he wouldn't find me, but there were always other instances where he would. Xander's father's condition only declined, and the stress it put on him was equally felt by his friends, unable to do anything but comfort him. the worst part for me though was avoiding Mady. It was something that I needed to do, though my heart felt the complete opposite. I tried very hard to figure out the explanation I was going to give her when she finally confronted me, which was only a matter of time, but for the last few days she had given me space. Her loyal friend Anna though, did not.

I was slowly moving down the hall, when she came upon me.

"Hey Keith," she said, suddenly at my side.

"Hey Anna," I said lightly.

"Soooo why aren't you talking to Mady?" she asked me. I remained silent initially, keeping my focus ahead, and trying hard to think up an excuse. "Keith?"

"Its a long story Anna," I replied. She stopped, and I turned to face her as we reached the mid-way part of it, where it opened to an entrance, and a large room opposite the entrance.

"She's upset about it," she told me. "She's your friend."

"I have my reasons Anna," I told her, trying to paint myself to be a jerk, hoping it would settle her curiosity, or at least drive her away for the moment. "Let me worry about it." I turned to leave.

"She's my friend too Keith," she said. "I don't want to see her hurt."

"Me neither," I said under my breath, and continued walking forward. The conversation had upset me though, and part of me wanted to decimate the part of the hallway I was in, but I knew that would probably not be a good idea, so I managed to hold myself back. It was bad enough not being able to talk to her, but knowing that I had caused even the slightest amount of pain was something I didn't need at that moment.

"Do you think that plan is actually going to work?" asked Evan, who was leaning with his back to a part of the hallway that dipped into the rest of the building, a spot I couldn't see him in until I walked past it. I knew the voice instantly, and turned, somewhat pleased that he was here, hopefully I could outlet my anger after all. "Do you think if you end your friendship, push her way, that she'll be out of danger? Are you really that stupid?"

"The less distractions I have, the easier it will be to maintain my focus on stopping you," I told him, trying to play it cool.

"How dumb do you think I am?" he asked, standing up straight and circling around me. "Your hoping to get her out of the line of fire. Its not going to work, because regardless of where she is, you still feel the same about her, and I know that just as much as you do." I stood there with my fists clench, ready to just let loose with all my mental reserves upon him. He looked down, and my eyes began to take on a soft redish hue. "There we go, are you ready to cut loose right here, in front of everyone. Let's just break it open right here and now, let everyone know. No more tiptoeing around. What do you say?"

I wanted to, just let loose, not caring who saw us, or what happened next, but I also knew if I did, no matter who came out on top, he still won, because he had pushed me to the point where I let go. Venting air through my nose, I took deep breaths, and slowly my eyes returned to their normal color. "I'm not going to play by your rules."

"Always the challenge," replied Evan, turning his back on me, and walking off in the direction I left Anna. "One day," he called back.

My silence was shortly thereafter broken. I decided that in the interest of fairness, I needed to explain to her how I felt, and using discretion, what was going on. I sent her an email, letting her know that I wanted to talk to her, but I did it own my grounds. At our usual time, in our usual place. My mind was clouded in a mix of emotions, because I didn't know what I could, and could not say, or what actions I should take. I had no set path, except for the fact that I just wanted to tell her everything, about everything, but knew I could only discuss my feelings for her. Everything else had to be kept in reserve.

I got to the theatre first, but I didn't sit out in the audience like I always did. Instead I sat on the stage. A partial set had been erected for something, I can't remember what, but there where three white stage pieces on the apron. I sat with my back facing one, staring out over the audience. I knew the only way I could do this, was not by facing her. I sat and waited for her to come, thinking carefully the words I wanted to choose to say to her. Knowing that the carefully rehearsed speeches I tried to prepare would never be used in the process. Nervous, as a description, was an understatement, and shaky would of been more helpful then the way I felt. It was almost as bad as the first time I went into battle with Evan, not knowing what I was really up against. The fear, the fear of losing, losing her.

She came in though, from the backstage area, slowly walking on the stage, and sitting on the block to my right, behind me. I could sense nervousness in her as well, so it made me a feel a little more relaxed knowing I wasn't the only one who was upset.

"I can't imagine how you feel," I told her. "And I know the way I've been acting towards you hasn't been the most respectful either. I'm sorry, I just, I need to tell you what's going on, and I need you to let me finish before you say anything, because I don't know if I can finish if you stop me."

Her silence was her agreement, and slowly I folded my knees closer to my chest, starting my explanation, keeping several things out of the story.

"We got to know each other last year, just out of luck I guess," I began. "I remember how surprised I was when you waited for me to catch up to you that one day, that was the first time any one had ever actually waited for me. The more I got to know you the more I decided I liked you. You did the right things, you said the right things, and we sort of just clicked I guess, at least in my mind. I fell for you then, but you with your boyfriend then, and I couldn't do anything about that. That was what was. Then I lost my mother, and I was just wrapped up in myself, and you were the only person that I really saw, or felt anything for. I was posed the choice as to whether or not to come back here this school year, and we grew closer. We started sitting out in there in that audience, and we learned about each other. And you found out things about me, about how I work, that no one ever has before. You know who I really am, the real me, not the act I put on for everyone else. This place has hurt me so much though, and hurts being here even now. Why did I come back?" I turned my head towards her, my head looking over my shoulder at her. "Why did I have to love you?"

I turned to face the audience chamber again, part of my just absolutely shaking from the fear of revealing my most vulnerable side to this person, scared at what she might do with it. "Over break, I realized that I really care about you more than anything else, and that I really want to be with you. But I can't be, and I know that. Your with someone right now, but it doesn't change the way I feel about you, and those feelings cause me a great deal of pain. Being around you is almost unbearable, nto because I can't stand you, but because I love you too much."

There was a crash to my right, and my head darted over thinking, maybe, Evan had some how managed to crash my emotional episode, but she had merely dropped the necklace she had been playing with, and it landed on the stage. She looked upset, and she sniffed the air, choking back tears.

"I can't be around you anymore Mady, because deal with my feelings appropriately, and until I can, it has to be this way," I told her.

Silence followed for a few moments, both of us letting everything I said seep into each other. I was drained, I literally had nothing else to say to her that would help. I certainly wasn't about to tell her the whole Ranger story, because she'd probably think I was making it up at that point.

"I don't deserve you," she told me. That was all she said, and some ways I was stunned, and confused, and taken completely off guard. The whole time it had all been about me not deserving her because I hadn't done enough in my life. Maybe we both understood each other better than I thought. Tears ran down her eyes, and I wanted so bad to hold her, and protect her from those tears. I moved over towards her, and crouched down in front of her.

I don't remember what I said to her after that. We stood up together, and I knew she realized we couldn't talk again, no matter how much we wanted too. I hugged her, never wanting to let her go, but finally I did, and let her go out the door first. I turned to face the audience chamber again, upset, but holding. What would come next I wondered, how many more people was I going to have to push away?