Thanks for all the reviews and story alerts, now here's Lilly's side...
Disclaimer: In too much pain to attempt a witty-esq disclaimer today. So put simply, I don't own Cold Case.
Lilly got up from her desk and moved slowly towards the interrogation room, feeling like a lamb going to the slaughter, her smoothie in hand. She'd discovered one good thing about being pregnant was that no one raised an eyebrow if you brought food or drink into a situation where it was not normally allowed. However, right now, she just wanted something to keep herself and Bean calm, and smoothies for some reason helped calm Bean down. Maybe it was all the fruit that Bean had to digest once she had one?
Reaching the door she made sure to fix her Ice Queen mask in place and entered the room with caution. Detective Fitzpatrick gestured to the chair opposite him and Detective Browne that she gratefully took. She rested her hands on her bump hoping to both soothe and protect Bean during the process.
"Detective Rush" Browne started "Do you remember the evening of the 22nd May?"
"Yes. Kinda hard to forget the night you're held hostage by a serial killer who you end up killing" Lilly replied in a cool tone.
Detective Browne glanced up at her with a hard look on his face "You mean the night you disobeyed a direct order from your superior officer not to leave PPD and went looking for George Marks on your own without any back up?"
Crap, she hadn't been expecting this. "I was simply following up a line of investigation" she replied smoothly "Turns out I was correct"
"I wouldn't sound so smug if I were you Detective, if it hadn't been for your blatant disregard for orders I doubt we would be doing this right now, would we?" Browne stated coldly "Would you mind telling us the events that followed the shooting?"
"My partner, Detective Valens, drove me home as I was a little..." devastated, destroyed, "...shaken up" she eventually finished.
"What happened then?" Browne continued.
"We decided to go for a drink, obviously had one to many, and ended up sleeping with each other".
"You don't think that strange?" Fitzpatrick piped up "Two people that have been partnered together for nearly two years and then you decide to sleep together the night you kill someone?"
Lilly made sure her Ice Queen façade did not alter, now was not the time to crack. At a loss how to answer the question appropriately, she took a sip of her smoothie whilst she thought about what she could say.
She obviously couldn't tell them the truth. What would she say? "Sorry, I needed to sleep with someone to make sure that I was still human, that I wasn't just like the psycho I had just killed, that I was actually capable of feelings?" She was pretty sure that wouldn't go down well and she'd be sent straight to the PPD shrink.
Remembering Scotty's words from earlier, she focused her attention on Fitzpatrick and smiled, making sure she stroked her stomach as she replied "Sorry, babies. You know what they're like, when they want something they want something there and then".
Fitzpatrick smiled at her in a paternal fashion. "I understand Detective Rush, now if you could please answer the question"
"I guess I slept with Detective Valens because he was there" she responded carefully.
That wasn't lying, he had always been there for her emotionally, hell, she'd told him things that she probably wouldn't have told her closest girlfriend (if she had one) and it always irked her that he could make her do that. Although she had rarely taken him up on his offer of support before that night, that night he had been there for her when she'd needed him, not just emotionally, but physically too. The morning after she'd felt embarassed when she'd woken up naked next to her equally naked partner, but the awkwardness had quickly disappeared and they'd actually mananged to talk. It would almost have been nice if the circumstances weren't so dire. For her one and only one night stand, the whole morning after experience had been rather pleasant, given the circumstances.
"And that's it?" Browne replied sarcastically. "You slept with your partner because he was there. Were there no other guys in the bar that night?
Anger started to boil inside Lilly. "Ever shoot someone Detective Browne? Ended their life?" Lilly asked him in her best detective voice.
"This isn't about me Detective R-"
"I'll take that as a no." Lilly interrupted. "Then you don't know how it feels. Strangely the last thing I wanted to do that night was go to a bar and chat up blokes. I'm sure there were other guys there, but I didn't notice. I drank too much, Detective Valens walked me home and then we drunkenly slept together in the heat of the moment".
"So you were so desperate for sex that you had to sleep with him? Doesn't sound like a healthy response to shooting someone Detective Rush" Detective Browne snarled.
"Browne!" Fitzpatrick interrupted "That's enough." Turning towards Lilly, Fitzpatrick took over the interview "I think what my colleague was trying to say is this situation could arise again. Detective Valens, or even yourself, might have to shoot someone - are you going to sleep together every time something happens?"
"Detective Fitzpatrick, I can assure you that what Detective Valens and I did that night was a onetime thing. Yes, I got pregnant, but would we even be having this conversation if I wasn't pregnant?" she replied exasperatedly.
Turning to stare Detective Browne squarely in the face, her eyes as cold as ice "What if I had gotten pregnant from a one night stand with a colleague following an office party? Would we still be having this interrogation then?"
She couldn't be sure but she thought she saw a flash of shame cross Browne's face. Fitzpatrick must have sensed there was a history between them as he quickly replied in a stern voice.
"Detective Rush, I'm sure you can appreciate this is a unique situation and whilst I'm sure two colleagues sleeping together is far more common than IAB is aware of, we must address the situation at hand, and that is, you slept with your partner as an emotional response to shooting someone, someone who had held you hostage for an extended period of time.
Our job is to ensure that what happened between you and Detective Valens was not directly related to that incident and that you are fit to work together for the foreseeable future. Now from what I understand, since that night you have not given PPD any reason not to allow you two to continue working together however, if after the result of our investigation we feel that you two are too emotionally involved to work together, we will split you up.
Now, Detective Rush, please answer the question. If you are involved in an emotionally traumatic experience again, are you likely to sleep with your partner?"
Lilly was glad she had perfected her Ice Queen face a long time ago otherwise her face would show pure shock right now. She felt thoroughly reprimanded by Detective Fitzpatrick.
"No. I will not sleep with him again. I didn't sleep with him because of what happened, I slept with him because I got drunk as a result of what happened. Will I get drunk again if something similar happens in the future? Probably; show me a cop that wouldn't? But seeing as I now have a child to look after, I will not be going out to some random bar and bringing random men, or men then I know for that matter, back to my house. Not that it's any of your business, this was the first, and only, time I have done something like this and it will not be happening again." Lilly replied in her coldest tone.
"What if Detective Valens decides he wants more children? What if he gets married?" Detective Fitzpatrick continued in a gentler tone.
"Scotty and I are not together. He is free to meet and marry whomever he chooses. If he wants more children, they will not be coming from me I can assure you. I will be happy for him because he is my partner" she replied in a level tone, unprepared for the shot of pain that flashed through her as those words left her mouth.
"How would you feel if he was injured in the field? Him being your partner and the father of your child" Detective Fitzpatrick asked in the same gentle tone.
Lilly was momentarily shaken. The thought of anything happening to any of her colleagues was disturbing, but the thought of anything happening to Scotty filled her with terror and dread. She took a moment to really think about how she would cope without Scotty and she was shocked at the depth of her feelings. It really would feel like someone had taken something from her, almost like she was losing a limb. Not to mention that something happening to Scotty would be devastating for Bean, after all she had grown up without a father and knew how tough it was. Working cold cases they were generally lucky when it came to injuries, normally no more than a pulled muscle here and there from having to chase down a witness or a suspect. Not really knowing what to say she said the first thing that popped into her head.
"I would feel the same if any of my colleagues were injured, regardless of whether it was my partner or the father of my child"
"Very well Detective Rush, you have answered all our questions and are free to leave" Fitzpatrick said with finality, concluding the meeting.
Lilly walked out of the interrogation room, closely followed by Fitzpatrick and Browne. She returned to her desk whilst the other two detectives went directly into Stillman's office and closed the door.
"You ok Lil?" Scotty enquired, concern written all over his face.
Lilly glanced at him, a small relieved smile on her face. "Yeah, just glad it's over with".
Sitting down, both Scotty and she resuming closing the Dawson case. Lilly was desperately trying not to think about the maelstrom of feelings her interview had just invoked and was grateful for the distraction closing a case caused.
Ten minutes later she heard the door to their boss' office open and Stillman bidding Detectives Browne and Fitzpatrick goodbye. Stillman promptly came over to both Scotty's and Lilly's desks.
"IAB will be back with the results of their investigation within the next 3 weeks. Now both of you; go home. You both look exhausted."
"But Boss-" Scotty began.
"No arguments. You've both been through the mill today and you both need to rest, especially you Lilly. The Dawson case is closed, so take the time now whilst you have it".
"Ok Boss" Scotty replied. Lilly simply nodded.
"You ok Lil?" Scotty asked with concern.
"Yeah, just tired. Didn't realise how worried I had been about it and now I just feel exhausted".
Scotty cast his eyes over to Nick and Will to make sure they weren't watching before turning to Lilly.
"Hey Lil, you free tonight?" he whispered.
"Was going to go to yoga, but I'm free after that. Why?"
"Wondered if you'd like to come over for dinner seeing the interrogation we've just been through?"
Truth was, he was worried about Lilly. She really did look exhausted and he wanted to do something to cheer her up. Dinner was the only thing he could think of on such short notice.
"Sure sounds great" Lilly replied tiredly "Although I may just fall asleep on your couch afterwards"
"Mi casa es su casa, Lil" he replied with a chuckle. "What time does yoga finish?"
"6.30pm. I can get to yours by 7pm."
"Sounds great, Lil, see you then".
With that they both packed up their belongings and headed off into the night.
So I know I would said I would try and update once a week, but realistically I'm not going to be able to update now until after 4th October due to sucky Real Life commitments. Plus, I have a back injury that has flared up making it difficult to sit and type for long periods (turns out that eventhough I was discharged after 6 months of treatment for the original injury, the daily residual back pain I have been suffering since then that I thought was normal isn't! Looks like I might be having injections put in the actual joints of my spine or surgery).