Never Expected

Disclaimer: All the Harry Potter characters belong to J.K. Rowling.

This is a SS and HP mentor fic. There will be no slash in this story.

I hope you like the story!

Thanks for all your reviews you guys! So here's your long awaited pensieve chapter! There will likely be a follow up chapter about the memories of the pensieve, so don't fret about how short the session was! ENJOY!

Previously on Never Expected Chapter 13…

Breathing deeply, Harry forced himself not to think about the punishments that he was definitely going to get. He had to stop thinking about it or he will never fall asleep.

Harry tried instead to concentrate on the fact that he felt so much better than he did this afternoon. The cramp that he had ever so often was gone, and his stomach no longer hurt. It was churning slightly, but the pain was gone, and for that, Harry was relieved.

Not before long, Harry found himself drifting off to sleep, the exhaustion from the day's event thoroughly wiping him out.

Chapter 14 – Remembering The First Time

Severus sat at his office thinking about what had happened with Harry. Sighing, Severus took a sip of Firewhiskey as he pen down his thoughts in his journal. He noted down all the symptoms that he noticed about Harry from what he had observed the whole day, as well as what he concluded about Harry's condition.

Severus sighed deeply. He should have done something about it a long time ago before it had gotten so bad. That was yet another mistake he made when it came to the boy's welfare. Resisting the urge to pull out his hair in frustration, Severus took another sip from his goblet. He had noticed Harry's bad eating habits and from what he knew, Harry wasn't well fed when he was with his relatives. All the symptoms that Harry exhibited pointed to the consequences of not eating well for an extended period of time. It surprised Severus that it took Harry so long to succumb to the pain though.

Well, Severus was going to have to correct that. Having worked with some of his Snakes that had poor nutrition from neglect back home, Severus knew that he had to take things slowly with Harry. He had to increase the quantity of food in moderate amounts so that Harry could stomach it. Too much, too fast, would probably make the boy sicker.

Taking a gulp of Firewhiskey as he tried to drown his anxiety, Severus blamed the fact that because Harry was friends with Weasley, it made Harry's eating habits seem more dire. The redhead definitely ate far too much for a boy his age. Making a mental note to never compare both boys' eating habits again, Severus pushed himself off the chair he was sitting on. He needed to check up on Harry.

Setting aside the goblet of Firewhiskey for later, Severus walked towards the guest room that he had prepared for Harry. It was not the first time that he had allowed a student to stay the night in his quarters, but it was the first time that Severus felt like he needed to stay with the boy constantly.

Unlike the other times, Harry had a special place in his heart. He was after all Lily's boy, and Lily took up the most extraordinary place in his heart. Pushing the door open gently, Severus walked into the room and stood beside the bed, observing the boy.

Harry was far too skinny.

Cheekbones jut out more than a healthy person's should, and his chin was too well defined. His body shape stood out from under the covers, and Severus resisted the urge to sigh loudly. He didn't want to wake the boy.

Noticing Harry's breathing pattern, Severus knew that he was asleep. Severus thought that he would have to force a Sleeping Draught down the boy's throat just to get him to rest, he must have been tired. The symptoms that he presented were too far along to have just started, so it was not unusual to be tired out like that. Although the potions that Severus gave Harry should have helped, it would only be temporary. In order to correct his condition, Harry has to continue a regime to stay healthy.

For a moment, Severus contemplated if he should leave the room, or stay just to monitor Harry's condition for a while more. Deciding that he should get his own rest so that he could think clearly tomorrow when he talked to Harry, Severus reached out and tucked Harry into bed before turning on his heels and shutting the door as gently as he could.

Morning came around rather quickly for Severus. He had spent the most of last night waking up constantly to check up on Harry. It wasn't his plan to, but he had found himself unable to fall into deep sleep as he mind worry constantly about Harry.

Getting ready for his classes, Severus put on his usual teaching attire and headed out his room. He needed to talk to Harry about his situation, and make sure that Harry could start recovering soon.

To his surprise, Harry was already up and sitting in the living area at the corner of the couch, fiddling with his wand.

"Good morning Harry." Severus greeted, his voice coming out lower than usual as he just woke up.

The green eyed Gryffindor jerked up from the couch and rubbed his hands sheepishly on his side, "Good morning sir."

Severus nodded. Snapping his fingers, Severus summoned his usual house elf and ordered two sets of breakfast to be served in his quarters, and he sent along a message to Minerva to inform her that Harry would be spending the day in his quarters. Severus anticipated that he would be taking quite a bit of time to explain some times to Harry, and Harry needed his rest anyway.

"Come, sit with me at the dining area. We will eat as we talk." Severus said. As much as he would like to spend the entire day just talking to Harry, and catching up about other things, he had a class to teach today. Just one double period potions after breakfast, and he would be free to talk to Harry again.

"Before we get started, you can take your time for have your breakfast. I have sent word to inform you teachers that you would not be attending classes today. You will spend the day resting in my quarters until I deem you fit enough to attend class. If you need anything in the mean time, I will arrange for a house elf to be around." Severus said as he drank from his goblet.

Harry look startled for a moment before frowning, "I feel fine sir."

Severus nodded, "I know. The potions I gave you yesterday should have helped you plenty. But your condition cannot be reversed so simply. It will return if you do not learn to take better care of yourself." Severus paused and looked at Harry pointedly, "Do you even know why you have not been feeling well Harry?"

Harry shrugged as he took a reluctant bite of toast, "Hermione-" Harry looked at Severus tentatively, "-Hermione, she said that- It's because I don't eat well."

Severus smirked. As much as he tried to deny it, Hermione Granger was indeed a very clever witch. "She is right." Severus raised a brow at Harry when he set his utensils down as though he was done. "Your eating habits are dreadful."

Harry seemed to blush a little, "Hermione says that about Ron."

"Don't get me wrong Harry. You are nothing like that troll of a friend you have." Severus tilted his head, "Don't look at me that way. Weasley needs to learn better eating habits, but it is not the same. He needs to learn to eat more gracefully, and you just need to learn to eat."

Harry frowned, and Severus knew instantly that Harry had not considered that his eating habits were bad. "I eat just fine."

"Are you done with that?" Severus asked as he nodded at Harry's plateful of food.

Harry shrugged, "I'm not hungry."

"And you tell me you eat just fine Harry? You need to eat more. Your body is shutting down because it isn't getting enough nutrients. If you continue to do that, your already shrinking stomach will shrink even more, and your body will try to absorb nutrients from your organs and they will fail. Keep this up Harry, and you might die." Severus said, trying not to sound too severe even though he wanted to be serious about it.

Severus saw the contemplative look on Harry's face before he almost grinned when Harry picked up his utensils again, stabbing the sausage on his plate with vengeance as he put it in his mouth.

"I need you to start eating more than usual, and more consistently. Like I said, the damage done cannot be reversed in just a day. While potions can help you, I don't want you to rely on it constantly. I will begin by giving you nutrient potions, but I hope that this routine will not last for more than a month before I wean you off the potion completely." Severus noticed a pained look on Harry's face, "I'm not asking you to eat as mush as mister Weasley does. Just try to eat more. Gradually. I don't want you to fall sick from eating more than what your stomach can handle right now either. For starters, I will inform the kitchen house elves to give you a special portion of food for each meal. It would gradually increase in quantity, but I expect you to try to finish everything on the plate for me. Do you think you can do that Harry?"

Severus looked at Harry, waiting for his response. It was important that Harry himself want to improve his diet. Even if Severus wanted to help, if Harry would not cooperate, it would be a useless attempt.

To Severus' relief, Harry nodded sheepishly before turning back to his plate, "I'll try."

Satisfied for now that Harry's diet issues were sorted out, the rest of the breakfast was spent leisurely eating and asking random questions. Severus noted that despite the issues that he had with Harry, this morning's interaction seemed calm and carefree. For a moment, Severus considered what it would be like if this arrangement for Harry to live in his quarters was permanent.

Would he like to have Harry around? The thought seemed comforting and Severus thought that after such a long time of being alone, it was nice to have someone around who knew his greatest secret. Truthfully, Severus didn't allow anyone near him because he was afraid that once they knew that he was a death eater, despite the fact that he was only spying for the Light side, they would despise him and be afraid of him.

Harry was different. Harry knew that Severus was a death eater. Harry had seen things about the war that most do not know about, and it sort of gave Severus a kind of relief that he could not explain. It was like Harry could possibly empathize with him, and they could help one another.

Breakfast was wrapped up soon after, and Severus bid Harry goodbye after giving him a few instructions. Once again feeling reluctant to leave Harry alone in his quarters with virtually nothing to do, Severus allowed Harry access to his private library, but instructed that some books will not come off the shelf due to privacy, and Harry was not allowed to use any charms to try to get them off.

With a final instruction to summon a house elf if there is any trouble or anything he needed, Severus headed to his class with a heavy heart.

Harry was seated on a couch with his head leaning against the arm of the couch as he read a random book that he had picked up. The professor had left a while ago, and Harry had considered sneaking back to his friends. A gentle reminder from his conscience told him that if he did, Severus would be beyond upset with him, and Harry did not want to do anything that would jeopardize their current relationship.

While it was not all smooth, Harry wanted to avoid any trouble with his professor. This morning's breakfast was a pleasant affair, and Harry found himself craving for more of the professor's attention and presence.

Harry just couldn't help himself. He knew that it seemed pathetic for him to jump at every chance to have a semblance of a family, but he could see it more clearly now. Severus and him living in a house together, Severus would have a potions lab somewhere in the house, and Harry would have a garden to fix up. Out of all the chores that Harry was ordered to do, Harry found gardening a rather soothing activity, and he grew to love what he did with the Dursley's gardens. When neighbors walked past and complimented the garden, Harry felt immensely proud of his handiwork.

Harry sighed as he put away the book he was holding. It was some boring autobiography of someone in the potions field, and it held absolutely no interest for Harry. Walking down the library shelves as his eyes wandered over the titles of all the books, one particular title had Harry stopping short as he reached out to grab the book.

Thankful that there was no charm on this book, Harry read the title again. Magic In A Pensieve by Marker Write.

Come to think of it, Harry had yet to have the session he promised he would have with Severus about his memories with his relatives. He knew that Severus had wanted to do it a long time ago, but had held back for fear that Harry would resist, or feel afraid.

To be honest, Harry had forgotten how afraid he was that someone would find out about his relatives anymore. Now that Severus knew, Harry felt that he was more comfortable about sharing more with the man. Granted, he was not confident enough to tell anyone else, but Harry felt like it was a crucial step. He was starting to trust adults again.

Getting seated as comfortably as he could on the couch in the library, Harry pulled open the cover of the book and started reading.

The book had started off initially by explaining what a pensieve was, and it was rather close to what Severus had told him about it. It was far more detailed and it explained how each individual rune that was carved on the basin would help to contribute to the magic of it all.

Before long, Harry found himself engrossed in the section where the book explained the various uses for the magical item. Harry was currently reading a case study about an abused witch who had gone for therapy, and they used a pensieve to help her to share the difficult details that she herself wanted to share, but found herself unable to articulate without bursting into tears.

Harry could understand that. He himself wanted to tell someone, tell Severus so badly about everything that happened back at the Dursley's, but he found that he could not bear to say it out loud.

Harry spent the next few hours just reading the book, and by the third chapter of the book, Harry had made up his mind that he was going to have the pensieve session with Severus as soon as he could. He didn't want to waste anymore time. He needed someone to know and understand him, and from what he read about the witch who was abused, she managed to recover from her abuse.

While the book did mention that the pensieve was merely an outlet for people to share or keep their memories and a good therapist would play a major factor for recovery with abused victims, Harry knew that the pensieve played an even greater role between Severus and him.

For starters, Harry knew that if he approached the professor first about the pensieve, it would reassure the professor about his trust in him. And Harry wanted that. He wanted to show the professor that he was trying to trust him, and that he wanted more from him.

Harry had not even noticed how much time he had spent reading the book until he heard the portrait door outside opening, and the professor's voice ringing out in the room, "Harry?"

Placing the book back down on the table in front of him, Harry hurried out to talk to Severus. He needed to get this off his chest before he chickened out and decide not to do it.

Harry sat comfortably, yet awkwardly in the chair that Severus had conjured up for him.

Severus was currently setting up the pensieve meant for Harry's memories. Harry had brought up the topic about having his memories looked at from a pensieve during lunch when Severus came back to check on Harry. It had shocked Severus of course when Harry had mentioned it, but it didn't slip Harry's notice when Severus smiled gently. Harry knew that it was because Severus felt like it was a defining step to show that Harry was ready to share more with him, and for him to start trusting Severus.

Harry was nervous. From what he read, he would not feel a thing during the extraction, and he didn't even need to be around when Severus views his memories. Harry was only feel nervous about what Severus would think when he saw those memories.

For a moment, Harry considered chickening out. What if Severus hated him for being so weak for not standing up to those mere muggles? What if Severus felt too disgusted to talk to him after?

Glancing at the professor setting up the apparatus, Harry bit his lips. No. He had to believe that the professor would not do that. Severus had promised to be by his side and help him overcome his problems. The professor had promised to take care of him and comfort him whenever he needed. He had to trust the professor.

Noticing that Severus seemed to be done with the set up, Harry fiddled with the hem of his robe anxiously. This was it.

Severus faced him with his wand in his hand, "Are you ready Harry?" In his other hand, Severus was holding a glass vial that according to the book that Harry read would later contain individual memories.

Harry breathed. Was he really ready to allow this man that he had not too long ago hated, to retrieve his memories and view them when and as he pleased? Harry hesitated. Maybe there was a better way than this.

No. What was he thinking? This was the only way he was ever going to be able to share his past without breaking down halfway, or panicking. He needed this.

Nodding his head shakily, Harry looked wide-eyed at his professor. He needed to trust him. He had to.

"Alright then Harry. I need you to think of a particular memory about the first time you remember your uncle, or your cousin ever hitting you and calling you names Harry." Severus' voice was so gentle. Harry knew that he was trying to be delicate, and it made tears spring to Harry's eyes before he could help it.

Harry nodded, thinking back to the time that he could first remember his uncle hitting him. Even though the book did mention that sometimes flashbacks were unavoidable, Harry had not expected himself to fall right into when from the beginning.

-Flashback-

"Harry! Hey freak! Who said that you could have jam with your bread!" Dudley yelled as he smacked the piece of toast in Harry's hands away.

A 4-year-old Harry stood rooted to the ground, tears welling up at the corners of his eyes as he started to wail like Dudley did when he didn't get what he wanted. Greatest mistake Harry did. He had forgotten that Uncle Vernon was not as tolerable towards him as he did his own fat son.

"Shut up freak! Dad! Dad! Harry's making a din! Make him shut up!" Dudley yelled as he pushed Harry roughly, causing the small boy to fall to the ground. Sobbing louder now, Harry winced at the pain on his side.

"What is going on here!" Uncle Vernon's voice boomed loudly and Harry flinched. Dudley was by his father's side in a blink.

"Dad! Harry was stealing jam from the bottle! He didn't ask for permission! I told him he couldn't do that and he threw the toast on the floor and he is throwing a tantrum now!" Dudley lied, sticking his tongue out at Harry.

Furious, Harry pushed himself off the ground and lunged at Dudley, "Liar! I didn't throw the toast! You smacked it out of my hands! Liar!"

The initial shock of getting slapped in the face by someone who was likely ten times your size was great, but the stinging pain that came after was worse. Harry stood stunned and staring wide-eyed at his uncle. "How dare you accuse Dudley of lying? You ungrateful freak! How dare you steal food from my home! I feed you and clothe you and this is how you repay me? Freak! I should have left you out to die!"

Harry's sobbing had stopped the moment his uncle had hit him, but he could not help the sniffling. "Bu-But-"

"No buts freak!" Dudley taunted from behind his father, and Harry resisted the urge to lunge at the boy again.

"I-I was hungry! I didn't have any-anything to e-eat since last night!" Harry complained. His survival instincts told him to shut up, but seeing his cousin taunting him and lying about the situation had him riled up. He wanted to defend himself. He did nothing wrong.

Maybe he should have asked for permission before getting the jam, but Harry was so hungry.

"Hungry? You should be glad that I even fed you last night you stupid freak!" Uncle Vernon raised his hand and smack Harry across the side of his head. The impact caused Harry's small frame to fly and hit the nearest wall. "Get up boy! Go back into your cupboard and stay there until I tell you otherwise! NOW!"

-Flashback-

"-Harry? Harry! Harry! HARRY!"

Harry snapped back into reality. Severus was standing in front of him with his arms on Harry's shoulders, shaking him and shouting his name.

"S-Sir?" Harry whispered as he felt a tear fall from his eyes.

"Harry." Severus breathed in relief, "You- You were in a trance. Were you having a flashback Harry?"

Harry nodded as more tears fell from his eyes, "So-Sorry."

"Shh, no, it's okay. You did nothing wrong Harry." Severus stared at Harry for a moment before Harry found himself being held against his professor's chest.

Harry thought that by now he would have been used to the physical contact between his professor and himself, but he couldn't help the flinch or the initial stiffening of his body. The professor had not let go, and Harry found himself relaxing into Severus' embrace as he cried.

He had seriously not expected it to be so bad. He had forgotten the first time that he was hurt by his uncle really. The beating was not that bad at all. But Harry was still very hurt by the incident. He had only realized now how badly treated he really was.

Severus was gently rubbing circles on his back as his sobbing subsided, and Harry closed his eyes as he heard the comforting low voice of his professor speaking, "I apologize for not warning you about the flashbacks Harry. It slipped my mind. We should stop for tonight. That's enough for today. We can pick this up at another time, how about that?"

Harry nodded weakly into his professor's chest. He honestly didn't know what he wanted to do. All that was going on in his mind was the repeat performance of his uncle hitting him.

Harry froze in Severus' arms when he realized that Severus was going to see everything that happened. He honestly did not know if he wanted Severus to see it.

"Harry? Are you feeling better?" Severus asked tentatively as he release Harry from his embrace and looked sadly at Harry.

Harry simply stared back at his professor. He was not okay. He was not feeling better. But he didn't know what to tell his professor.

Severus seemed to sense that Harry was not going to be very responsive, "Harry. That's enough for today. I will give you a dreamless sleep potion and you spend the night here at my quarters again. Is that alright?"

Harry barely registered what his professor was actually saying, but the sincerity in his voice and face had convinced Harry that the man was not out to hurt him, and that he could trust him. Nodding weakly, Harry didn't even realize when he had downed a vial of potion and was tucked into bed by his potions professor.

If he did, he would have seen the grim smile on his professor face, and he would have noticed how much the scene played out like a father tucking his son into bed.

Thank you guys for being so encouraging so far! Stay sweet and awesome! Keep reviewing so I know that the story is going the right direction and you guys still love it!

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Love,
theroadsofar.