Archive: NO.

Reviews: Appreciated but not obligatory. :D I like to know what you like, don't like and what you think of the story in general. To the person who asked how long this story is, we're currently two-thirds of the way through. Thank you to the people who have been reviewing!

Satisfaction

Chapter 14

By Miki

Yuuta couldn't sleep. He lay awake; eyes wide open as he stared at the wall.

He kept thinking again and again of Monday night and of Atobe and of that, and he kept asking himself it was really what he thought it was or if he was just becoming more and more paranoid with every day that passed.

Maybe he was over-thinking things. Maybe there was nothing more to it than a misunderstanding…

Yuuta closed his eyes and tried to think of something else. Anything else was better than thinking of Atobe right now. He couldn't understand why he just couldn't stop thinking about him; about it. He was sure he was just thinking stupid thoughts, and yet… It was almost like… he didn't want them to be just stupid thoughts.

Oh, this was just dumb.

Yuuta opened his eyes and turned onto his back, staring up at the ceiling instead. He'd been thinking about this ever since Monday night, and every night he'd been running around in circles and never reaching any conclusions at all. Well, he'd concluded that he was losing his head and losing sleep and that he should just hurry up and forget about the whole thing, but that was easier said than done.

The thing was…

He'd realised something on Monday night. He'd realised that he couldn't really understand why he spent time with Atobe like this. It was weird, wasn't it? He was sure it was. It was like Atobe had just woken up one day and decided to bug him. And he had. He'd driven Yuuta crazy at the beginning.

And yet, being together had become almost normal now, and Yuuta couldn't understand why.

They had almost nothing in common, and what they had in common, they didn't talk about.

And for some reason, it worried Yuuta, because if Atobe could wake up and decide one day to spend time with him like this… Couldn't he also wake up and decide he couldn't be bothered and that he didn't want to see Yuuta anymore?

The thought was really bothering him, a lot more than he wanted it to…

He'd been thinking it for the past three nights, and now it was Thursday night and Yuuta could swear he'd had less than ten hours sleep over three nights. Mizuki was starting to comment on the bags under his eyes. He'd offered anti-wrinkle cream too, but Yuuta didn't think anti-wrinkle cream was going to stop him from thinking so much. It didn't even really stop wrinkles, but he couldn't tell Mizuki that. Mizuki would probably have a nervous breakdown or something, and Yuuta wouldn't be able to cope with that.

Yuuta rolled over onto his side again, restless but unwilling to get out from under the warm blankets of his bed.

Atobe had told him to message him about going to see his library.

His library.

Yuuta's phone sat on his bedside table, the blue flashing light reminding him he'd missed his brother's call a few hours before. Absentmindedly, he picked up the phone and flicked to his messages, his thumb hovering for a moment before hitting the button for a new message. What time was it? he wondered. He hadn't thought of looking, but it was probably sometime after midnight already.

Are you free tomorrow night for the library thing?

Staring at the bright white screen in the darkness was a little tiring and Yuuta rubbed at his eyes, looking over his message. Maybe Atobe would give him an answer by tomorrow morning, he thought, hitting the button to send and watching as the little blue letter flew across the white screen.

Message sent.

He frowned and put the phone back down on his bedside table, staring up at the ceiling again with an arm resting over his forehead. Maybe he should just ask Atobe about it.

Yuuta pulled a face in the dark.

What was he thinking? It wasn't like he could just bring it up in the middle of a conversation, saying "hey Atobe, what was with that bit the other night when it looked like you were going to kiss me?" Even the thought of trying to talk to Atobe about it made him feel embarrassed.

Yuuta sighed a bit and wriggled further into his bed and pulled the blankets over his head. He couldn't ask anyone about it. It wasn't like he was talking about a girl either.

Atobe was… a guy.

There was nothing normal about liking a guy.

Yuuta closed his eyes under the covers, thoughts returning to the circles they'd been running in for days and nights. Then the buzzing of his phone startled him, and he wriggled out of the covers to grope at his bedside table and grasp his phone. It was a message.

Don't you mean tonight? What are you doing up at this time?

Yuuta couldn't help but give a slight smile, momentarily forgetting how troubled he'd been feeling as a funny feeling settled in his chest.

Same thing and you can't talk, you know. What are you doing up?

Yuuta pressed the button to send and sat still, watching the blinking of his phone's light. A moment later it buzzed again and Yuuta quickly opened the message, eyes scanning the lines of text rapidly.

I'm not talking, I'm writing, and I'm still awake because I'm doing paperwork for the tennis club. I'll send the car to pick you up today at six. Go to sleep already.

Yuuta yawned suddenly, blinking away the moisture in his eyes as he poked at his keypad, typing back quickly.

You go to sleep first then.

Hitting the send button, he wondered what sort of a message that was anyway. He must be more sleep deprived than he thought. Setting the phone down next to his pillow, he rolled onto his side again and curled up, watching the rhythmic blinking of the light, waiting for Atobe's reply. Yuuta was sure he wouldn't be able to resist replying.

Atobe liked to have the last word.

Before the phone buzzed again, Yuuta had fallen asleep.

(S)

"Yuuta?"

Someone was calling his name.

"Yuuta! Wake up."

Yuuta opened his eyes quickly, sitting up and staring toward his door.

"Yuuta."

Yuuta jumped, surprised at the voice right at his ear. He turned his head and blinked as he realised he was staring at Akazawa and not at Mizuki. No, that was right, he reminded himself. If it were Mizuki waking him up, he'd have been sitting on him already.

"I… What… Am I… late?" he managed to get out, his mouth failing to form coherent sentences.

Akazawa gave a wry smile. "Not yet. Actually Mizuki sent me to wake you up. He said you haven't been sleeping well and that he wants you to meet him ten minutes before practice so he can talk to you."

Yuuta groaned and reluctantly got out of his bed, walking across to the door of his bathroom.

Akazawa watched him go, a thoughtful look on his face.

"What?" Yuuta asked, rubbing his head.

Akazawa shook his head. "Is there something keeping you from sleeping? You don't look very well, you know."

Yuuta shook his head and looked around in vain for a clock. He kept forgetting he hadn't replaced it yet, and with a sigh, he asked Akazawa what the time was.

"Late," was Akazawa's answer before he disappeared out the door, looking amused.

Yuuta cursed, hurriedly slamming the bathroom door and throwing his pyjamas haphazardly over the floor as he stumbled into the shower. He hoped Mizuki didn't want to talk about anything weird. He wasn't sure he could stomach talks about anti-wrinkle cream, eyelash curlers or epilators, boxer shorts or the art of ironing shirts today.

Five minutes later, the effects of several sleepless nights, not enough food and too much rushing around too early in the morning were starting to hit him, and he wasn't sure he could stomach anything.

Yuuta felt sick.

(S)

"Atobe," Jirou called out.

Atobe looked up, a little surprised at the interruption. He tilted his head slightly, and Jirou took the motion as a prompt to continue talking.

"Ootori and Shishido and I are going to have ice cream. Do you want to come?"

Atobe gave a quick shake of his head, drumming his fingers on the clipboard he was holding.

"Oh," Jirou said slowly, a little put off. "Are you sure?" he asked, smiling just in case Atobe really did want to come but had to be asked twice.

Atobe considered for a moment. He was rather tempted, though not because of the company. Truthfully, if they were going to the ice cream parlour he was thinking of, then he'd have been content to put up with the worst company in the world as long as he got his ice cream. Still, he'd said he would send the car to pick up Yuuta at six, and he wasn't about to make Yuuta stand around and wait.

He gave a shake of his head to Jirou and flicked his pen against the clipboard impatiently. "Is there anything else?"

Jirou shook his head hurriedly. "Not really, I just thought you'd want to come since we're going…"

For a moment he looked thoughtful. "Um… Maybe… Do you want to go on the weekend instead? You could bring Yuu-chan with you then… I mean, if you wanted," Jirou spoke shyly.

Atobe opened his mouth, slightly surprised at Jirou's suggestion.

"Actually, I'm not sure that would be a good idea," he finally said, uncrossing his legs and crossing them again.

Jirou smiled. "Oh," he said, and rocked back on his heels. "Okay, well, I'm leaving now then!"

Atobe sat for a few minutes after he'd left, flicking his pen against the clipboard as he thought. He supposed it was rather inevitable that at some point the rest of the regulars would meet Yuuta, but inevitability didn't stop him from wanting to delay it as long as possible. It wasn't as though he'd expect their reactions to be anything less than shocked, and quite frankly, he didn't imagine he'd like sharing Yuuta either…

It would be infinitely more preferable to keep the two parts of his life separate, he thought, resolved on the issue.

And then he paused, his hand freezing its repetitive motion as he wondered when he'd actually accepted that Yuuta had become a part of his life.

He'd given up on the idea of getting to Fuji; he'd realised that a while ago, but he'd never before thought about Yuuta being a part of his life.

Many things were a part of his life, really. Tennis, of course, his father's business and the prospect of being heir to a multinational corporation hung over his head, and school, of course. People too, whether he wanted them or not… Yuuta, somehow, was different to everyone else. Maybe because Atobe had gone out of his way to get to him, but then, he realised, he hadn't really cared at all for Yuuta at the beginning, had he? He'd just seen him as a stepping stone to get to Fuji Syuusuke.

Yuuta had just been a temporary part of a larger plan.

Atobe twirled his pencil between his fingers.

He looked up suddenly as a shadow fell across his lap, and realised he was peering up at Sakaki.

"I'll see you in my office now," he said without bothering with greetings.

Atobe stood up and followed as Sakaki turned and began walking back toward the school building. Thoughts elsewhere, he hardly noticed that Sakaki had stopped and was looking at him until he nearly walked into him.

He gave his coach a frown. "Kantoku?"

Sakaki raised an eyebrow. "It seems to me that your mind is elsewhere, Atobe."

Atobe opened his mouth to reply, but Sakaki cut him off quickly with a look of reproach.

" I would appreciate it if you would listen to what I'm saying since I'm sure it matters to you whether or not Hyoutei gets to the nationals this year."

"Of course," Atobe frowned, pursing his lips.

"Well then," Sakaki continued, "as I was saying…"

Atobe wondered when he'd stopped seeing Yuuta as an extension of Fuji Syuusuke and started seeing him as, well, Yuuta.

For a moment, he wondered what Yuuta thought of their… What would one call it? It wasn't exactly an acquaintance, but he wasn't quite game enough to call it a friendship either…

Did Yuuta also think it was odd? Was Atobe just a temporary distraction to him the way Yuuta had been to Atobe? The thought unnerved Atobe, a tight, constricting feeling welling in his chest as he thought about it. Did Yuuta even consider him a friend?

Atobe's feet stopped walking. Since when did he even care for friends?

"Atobe," came Sakaki's tense, clipped voice, and Atobe's eyes widened, embarrassed at being caught not listening for a second time.

He quickly caught up to Sakaki and avoided looking at him for the rest of the short walk, his head jumbled with thoughts of Hyoutei and the nationals, Yuuta and himself.

(S)

Somehow the back seat of the limousine seemed a lot bigger than usual.

Yuuta stared across at the seat opposite him, wondering if this was what it was like for Atobe all the time; sitting on this huge leather seat by himself, bored. Though Atobe didn't seem the type of person to get bored, Yuuta thought. He'd probably always have something to do, being the captain of Hyoutei's tennis club and all.

Watching the buildings and streets go past was strange. The futther they went, the more Yuuta felt as though he was leaving Japan. The spaces between the houses became longer, the houses bigger, the fences taller, and Yuuta tugged at his tie nervously, wondering if he should have changed out of his school uniform. He hadn't even brought his blazer with him because he'd been feeling too hot and sick for it, but they hadn't even reached Atobe's house yet, and he was sure he was going to feel underdressed.

He watched as they passed another house, looking at its huge, elaborate design and the iron gates in front of it.

He could have sworn his entire house could fit in that front yard.

And then they slowed and turned, finally.

Yuuta peered out the window and nearly fell off his seat, looking around. This had to be a joke. Atobe's house… wasn't a house at all.

It was like… a hotel.

And all too quickly, Yuuta realised the car was coming to a stop in front of a set of steps and a huge set of doors, and he sunk down into his seat instinctively, shrinking away from the huge structure in front of him.

He didn't just feel undressed. He felt naked.

(S)

Atobe hurried down the staircase, a front on his face as he did so. Why had no one told him Yuuta was about to arrive? Did they think he had ESP? Telepathic communication skills?

He'd been in his office, playing around with the idea of mixing up Hyoutei's doubles players – not Mukahi and Oshitari, of course (because no one else could handle Mukahi and no one else would want to) – and he hadn't even changed out of his school uniform yet.

Now he was wearing a wrinkled shirt, a horrid school tie – the fact that it was better than 90 of other school ties did not mean it wasn't horrendous in itself – and he hadn't even had the time to check his hair in the mirror. He hadn't even checked in the library yet to see what exactly he was going to lend to Yuuta. It wasn't as though he really needed to, but something about this was making him nervous.

He didn't feel ready.

The front doors opened quickly and Atobe and Yuuta met each other's gazes instantly.

"You can come in, you know," Atobe said, breaking the silence first. He levelled a stare at the butler holding open the door, noticing that he was giving Yuuta a strange look. It annoyed him, and he made a note to deal with it later.

Yuuta didn't seem to be moving though, his mouth open and his eyes wide as he looked up at the chandelier and the staircase.

Atobe frowned and walked over to him, about to snap his fingers when he realised what he was doing and waved a hand instead.

"Yuuta."

"Ah," Yuuta breathed out quickly, "sorry! I just… Forgive the intrusion…"

Atobe gave a smile at the look on Yuuta's face. He looked awed, which was of course what people were supposed to feel when they stepped into the Atobe mansion, but Atobe's nervousness wouldn't let him stand around while Yuuta stared with his mouth open. There were better things to do than catch flies, after all.

"Come on," he said, his arm hovering behind Yuuta as the boy continued to stare.

Settling for resting his hand on Yuuta's shoulder, he half led and half pushed him to the library.

"Don't you get lost in here?" Yuuta asked as they reached the door, and Atobe raised an eyebrow at him.

"How on earth could I get lost? I live here."

"Yeah, but…" Yuuta blushed. "I mean, it's so big."

Atobe smiled and rolled his eyes, pushing open the door. "Honestly, next time you come I can give you a GPS if you'd like."

Yuuta hid his smile. "Stupid," he muttered under his breath.

There was a noise behind them, and Atobe turned around to speak to a butler, asking Yuuta what he'd like. Yuuta gave a shake of his head, telling Atobe he wasn't thirsty.

Atobe gave him a frown and told the butler to fetch him a bottle of water. Then he flicked on the lights to the library and Yuuta stared, dumbfounded.

"You can shut your mouth, you know," Atobe said dryly.

"Ah… right," Yuuta responded, stepping into the centre of the room. He'd never seen such a big private library before. He didn't think he'd even seen this many books in a single house before. From floor to ceiling around three walls, all he could see were books.

It almost made him wonder why Atobe came to the library at all.

Atobe was confusing like that, Yuuta thought. But then, he kind of liked that about the other boy. The past few nights when he hadn't been sleeping, he'd been realising that there were actually a lot of things he liked about Atobe.Yuuta wondered what his Aniki would say if he had any idea what he was thinking.

Maybe he'd have been speechless, and that would have been a first.

.tbc.