Author's Note: Normally this scene would have never taken place but I realized I needed a good filler in between certain scenes so I randomly came up with this after thinking about this place that sold boba and tonic, and it being in close proximity to these three great places I would LOVE to own: Coldstone Creamery, Starbucks, and Jamba Juice. Ah hell yeah! Welcome to SoCal's hangouts! That's getting away from the point, though. Oops.
Disclaimer: The characters, settings, and back story are copyrighted by Square-Enix and Disney. The storyline and original characters are mine, including a certain cameo by a certain someone from a certain story. The song I thought had the great mood for the chapter is Find the Way by Mika Nakashima.
A Walk In Andante
14 - YOU
He looked at her, watched her quietly. He didn't want her to know he was watching her. She didn't seem to notice, as her eyes seemed stubbornly fixed on the steady stream of people flowing out of the train station.
"Is there something wrong with my hair?" she suddenly asked. Her blue eyes swiveled to him and Roxas flushed.
Okay, so she knew he was staring at her.
"No…there's nothing wrong…with your…hair," he muttered. "I was just…you feeling better?"
Kairi nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine. A bit tired but I'm getting better."
He smiled. "That's good news. Looking forward to our next training session."
She groaned. "Oh my god, I was hoping you'd forget."
"Kairi, you'll never get anywhere in life with that attitude," he said, stifling a laugh. "Fighting is never easy. Nor fun. Fighting's never fun. But that depends on the manner of your battles. After all…"
He abruptly stopped talking. Though she looked at him curiously, obviously hoping he'd continue, Roxas decided not to continue with his sentence and add that fighting multitudes of Heartless in the middle of a dark city only to be assaulted by a silver-haired man was a fun thing. It wasn't. Roxas later found out who that man was, and that made the whole situation worse. First Roxas beat him and fled, then the man came searching for him and smashed him up.
That was far from fun.
She was looking elsewhere now, her eyes seemingly transfixed on the tall woman in the long coat and high heels striding out of the train station with several passengers. She stood a head taller than everyone and even shadowed those nearest to her with the wide brim of her wine-red hat.
Roxas raised an eyebrow at the woman's attire; it wasn't that cold yet. Then he looked at Kairi, found himself settling into a warm bubble of…something. Strange. He didn't know what that feeling was, except it was like a warm bubble of…something.
What would you say if I told you your friend Riku kicked my ass? Would you lash out at him or at me? Sometimes I wonder where your loyalties lie. How much more…faithful…are you to Sora than…anybody else? What am I to you? Where do I stand in your life? I wonder…
The clock tower was chiming the hour. Six tolls. It was officially evening. Roxas stood up and off the bench the two were sitting on and looked at Kairi.
"Wanna go to a café or something?" he asked as casually as possible. He had wanted to take her to one of those places for ages but for some strange reason, he never pursued that want. Once he had mentioned it but never reminded her; he still kicked himself around for not taking the chance when it came.
He always started getting nervous and somewhat jittery whenever he thought about asking her out to a café.
"I'm sorry?" Kairi said, her face quite confused. "Can you say that again?"
Roxas blinked. He replayed what he had just said.
"Wannagotoacaféorsomething?"
Oh shit! Asshole!
He took a deep breath, then slowly spelled out each word. He ended the last word a bit too fast and got ready to curse himself again. He looked elsewhere, felt heat creeping up his body from the soles of his feet. He felt rushed, like the wind had been knocked out of him.
"Sure, why not," he heard Kairi say. For some strange reason, he could feel – feel – her smile as she said so. "Where to?"
Roxas looked at her, at the sudden blush of sunset red on her cheeks. In fact, the skies were now in full twilight bloom, and the colors of evening were playing across her face. She seemed to be glowing.
There's a word, there's a-a sense…of something, something beyond my reach. It's there, I can feel it, I can sense it, but what is it? A word? A series of words? Or a feeling?
"Roxas?"
He shook his head and mangled the thoughts. "I…well there's this place somewhere around here. Someone I kind of know works there. It's in this place…well, it's got a really cheesy name but it's a nice place all the same."
"What's it called?"
"The café or where the café's located?"
"Roxas…"
He scratched his head, felt embarrassed by the idiot question. He looked at her, was surprised at the flash of sad nostalgia in her eyes. Then she was smiling amusingly at him again.
"The café's called The White Lotus and it's located on this street with the really stupid name of Lover's Lane so…"
"Lover's Lane?" Kairi repeated. "There's actually a place called Lover's Lane?"
"Olette said that was its original name. Now it's something else but I can't remember…"
Kairi giggled. "Trust Olette to tell people those kinds of things."
"Yeah I know," Roxas said with a sheepish smile. "Well, do you want to go?"
She nodded, rose to her feet, and brushed imaginary dust off her pink dress. It looked like she was dusting off the sunset glow.
"And, um…" Well ever since that talk he had to Hayner a few nights ago, he had been thinking about the whole café deal, and that one little action, that…verb…he imagined in his head. It was a stupid way of putting it but his mind refused to actually describe it to him. He just knew what he wanted to do.
He fell silent as Kairi looked at him funny. A soft smile graced her lips. An evening breeze went by, tousling her red hair slightly. The long locks of hair looked like autumn.
"You were saying?" she remarked.
Roxas bit his tongue, swallowed, then held out his hand. She looked at him, at his outstretched hand, then at him again. In a rippling curtain, the amused look was replaced by a shy demeanor as she slowly reached out and slid her hand into his. He looked at her hand, at how slim it was, then noticed how slender his hand was, too, how their hands were so similar in shape and size.
He was pretty sure Sora had large hands.
Strange. I thought…
He looked at her, saw the surprise in her eyes, too. But then she smiled again, then tightened her fingers around his hand. He turned his hand slightly, mingling his fingers into hers. That brought her close to him, until they stood side by side. They were eye-to-eye.
"This way," he said quietly, then pulled her towards the Tram Plaza. Once there, he turned to a street and continued leading her towards the street with the romantically cheesy name of Lover's Lane. He didn't look at her, didn't want to look at her, but every once in a while, he would sneak a glance in her direction. She was staring at her feet. Once in a while, she'd look at her surroundings, but she made an apparently conscious effort not to look at him. He began to wonder whether he was doing something wrong when he nearly ran into a street lamp.
"Ow," he muttered at his stubbed toe while Kairi giggled.
"You should watch where you're going, Roxas," she said teasingly, poking him in the side. He jerked away but didn't let go of her hand.
"Thanks for the advice," he returned in humiliated monotone then continued down the street with her, being far more careful not to run into anything stupidly big, immobile, and obvious again.
He was sure this was the way to that street of cafes but he didn't think the distance would be so vast. So it was to his immense relief that he didn't lose them deep in Twilight Town instead when they finally came across a wide cobblestone street. He couldn't help but stare; he had been here several times before, courtesy of Olette, but he never got used to the…the feel of it. There were a variety of cafes lining the street. All had outdoor tables and chairs; some were gated and others were open to all. People were wandering about, some entering cafes, some leaving cafes, some sitting at the café tables, and others just…walking don the street. Mingled in with the cafes and hanging signs depicting coffee cups, flowers, horses, and teapots were little shops full of trinkets.
It was quiet…peaceful. And everyone here seemed to be with somebody else. Friends, lovers, family, he had no idea. But there were a lot more people than expected.
"Wow," he heard Kairi whisper.
"Impressive, huh?" he said agreeably. "This place always knocks me out."
Kairi nodded. "So…where's this White Lotus place you mentioned earlier?"
"The White Lotus?" Roxas pointed at a particular sign of a gracefully painted white flower. "That one over there."
As they started walking towards it, he heard her mutter, "I knew that."
He hid a smile as they approached the edges of the café's boundary, which was marked by a white fence. There was a gap where people came and went, and they went through it to an outdoor table.
"You do have munny, right?" Kairi asked quietly as they sat down on rather spindly chairs.
Roxas shook his head, still hiding a smile. "Kairi, why do you ask those questions?"
She grinned rather nervously, drummed her fingers on the table. "Wanted to make sure you weren't broke. I have a feeling you won't like it if we have to call up Hayner, Olette, or Pence to borrow munny to pay."
He looked at her, astonished and embarrassed. "That's really not funny. Thanks for the show of confidence."
She shrugged, looked rather airily elsewhere. "You're welcome."
Are you still thinking about my not talking about my past? That's really not okay, Kairi. Can't you put that aside?
"Hey, man, what's up? Who's this chick you're with?"
Roxas jumped out of his thoughts and stared up at the teenager with the mop of silver hair, the lip ring, and the thick pad of paper in his hand. The waiter was standing right next to his chair and Roxas hadn't noticed.
"Oh hey…Kobi…" Roxas muttered.
Said teenager tilted his pen in Kairi's direction. "So who's this chick you're with? Can't believe you're actually with a girl, especially-"
"Actually, we're just friends," Kairi interrupted with a smile. She sounded a bit professional and cold. "You were saying?"
Kobi raised an eyebrow, then looked at Roxas." O-okay, moving on now…so, what would you two like? How about-"
"No."
"Aw, c'mon, man, you really ought to have it. I swear I don't know why you wouldn't have it whenever you came here with Olette-"
"We're friends, Kobi. So is she. Don't recommend anything or we might as well leave."
The waiter scowled. "Fine, man. You two want frappachinos?"
Roxas looked at Kairi, at the 'yes' smile on her face. "Sure."
"Chocolate syrup or caramel?"
"Chocolate."
"Caramel."
"Whipped cream?"
"Yeah."
"Sure."
"And I'm guessing you want that chocolate cake slice you always have when you come here-"
"Yes, Kobi. That's all today."
"Fine, fine, just trying to get me away so you can have some 'time' with your chick-"
"Kobi."
The teenage waiter rolled his eyes and stiffly moved off to attend to another table. Kairi actually turned her head to follow the waiter for several seconds. Then she looked at Roxas. She had a questioning look in her face.
"Ignore him. I met him a while back while going around with the trio. He can get…obnoxious at times…"
"He ought to get along with Pence," Kairi remarked.
"They're related. Mom's side."
"Oh…that explains a lot."
"Yeah, it does."
Silence ensued. He looked down at his feet, his hand resting on the table and his fingers drumming away on the surface. He had no idea what Kairi was doing but he had a feeling she was staring off into space, lost in thought. His ears picked up the sounds of music playing on speakers somewhere.
どうして君は小さな手で
傷を背負おうとするのだろう?
誰かの為だけじゃない見失わないで
どうして僕は迷いながら
逃げ出すこと出来ないのだろう?
望むのは光射す日を日を...
Why is that, with your small hands,
You try to carry the burden of this wound?
It's not for someone else's sake, so you've lost sight
Why do I, when I'm lost,
I can't seem to escape?
You need to see the light, the light...
"What are you thinking about?" he heard Kairi say, in a soft, soft voice. He looked at her, into her myriad blue eyes, at the gentle expression on her face. She looked completely at ease with him and the café, which was a good thing because he didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable. He never did.
He shrugged. "I was listening to the music."
She smiled. "It's a nice song. Kind of sad…"
"Yeah, it is," he agreed just as quietly. They stared at each other for a few more seconds, then broke contact and he looked away.
FIND THE WAY
輝く宇宙に手は届かなくても
響く愛だけ頼りに
進んだ道の先光が見つかるから
YOU'LL FIND THE WAY
FIND THE WAY
If you can't reach the sparkling sky with your hands
Rely on the love that echoes within
and push ahead on this road till you find the light
YOU'LL FIND THE WAY
"So where's this…friend of yours?" Kairi finally said.
He shrugged. "If I knew, I'd tell you."
"Yeah…I know…"
As if they had called his name by talking about him, the waiter appeared. Well, maybe he did overhear them.
"Yeah, yeah, yeah, talking behind my back, eh?" Kobi said smartly, depositing the two tall glasses and the small dish with the dark chocolate cake slice with two forks on the table. "Very funny, you two. I didn't like that one bit. I expect a bigger tip when you two leave."
"How about no tip," Kairi suggested lightly, pulling the glass piled with whipped cream and drizzled with caramel syrup towards her, "since you keep nagging us about us?"
Kobi scowled, then looked at Roxas. "That chick? Pure evil. Stay away from her, man."
Roxas looked at him funny. "I'll keep that in mind when I meet one. Shoo?"
The waiter shrugged, then walked off. He looked at Kairi, who was busy hiding her laughter in her hand and making a failed attempt to hide it completely.
"This guy annoys me," he admitted as he picked up his drink and took a mouthful of it. Later, the brain freeze struck.
君は言った永い夢をみた
とても哀しい夢だったと
それでもその姿は少しも曇らない
僕言った泣ていいんだと
ずっと傍にいてあげるよ
欲しいのは抱き上げる手を手を...
You said you had a long dream
A very sad dream
But still, that image has not been dimmed at all
I told you that it's okay to cry
I'll be here to lift you up
All I want is to take your hand, you hand...
"Do all cafes play sad songs?" Kairi asked idly as she picked at the cake slice with her fork.
"Have you ever been to a café?"
"Destiny Island is not a very big place."
"So…no, right?"
"Roxas…"
He smiled, took another sip of his drink. He was more careful now; the brain freeze was far from pleasant.
"Um…Roxas?"
"Yeah?"
"Why are people staring at us?"
"What?" Roxas sat up and looked around wildly.
"Roxas! Don't do that! People are going to notice!" Kairi hissed. Roxas ducked his head, looked at her sheepishly.
"Sorry…"
He fine-tuned what his ears picked up and threw out in order to listen in on the people who were staring at them. Surely they were saying something, right?
"…he's so hot…"
That wasn't what he was looking for. Roxas winced at the embarrassing compliment.
"…how'd she get hair like that…"
Must be a jealous date.
"…they're so cute together…"
Wait, wait, wait, what? What!
He quickly looked at her, wondered if she heard that last statement. Kairi seemed rather focused on attacking the chocolate cake, though, so he felt safe not to mention it.
"…they're so adorable, so perfect…"
Perfect's the last thing you should be saying, lady. If only you knew who the hell we are…
"This is really good."
"Really?" He tore his focus away from other people and turned to her.
"Yeah," Kairi nodded, then held up a forkful of cake on her fork. "Want some?"
"Are you going to feed me that?" he asked rather stupidly and incredulously.
Kairi grinned darkly. "Either you do it willingly or I force-feed you."
"You've got to be kidding me…"
Hey, I know who Sora is, Kairi. He's going to kill me for this one, I swear! He'll have memories of a stranger being fed by the girl he loves and then where will we all go? Where will we all…be?
FIND THE WAY
言葉なくても飛ぶ翼はなくても
乱す風に負けぬ様に
今誰より早く痛みに気付けたなら...
FIND THE WAY
When there are no word, and no wings to fly with,
Don't be thrown in chaos by the wind and lose
You need to realize your pain faster than anyone else...
Now they were talking in rather animated fashion about the antics of their friends. Roxas related to her a story of a prank Olette and Pence played on Hayner, which only worked because Olette and Pence lived so far away from each other; Olette called Hayner, telling him Pence needed to see him about something. But once Hayner got to his house, Pence said that Olette called and it was an emergency, so Hayner ran to Olette's house. Olette then informed him that Pence wanted to see him about some secret crush and Hayner was forced to run all the way back and…
Hayner was winded and very, deeply unhappy with the ordeal he had just gone through. Olette and Pence seemed to be dying of laughter at the time.
Although Roxas knew who they were, he remained quiet and attentive as Kairi described her other friends at Destiny Island, the ones called Selphie, Tidus, and Wakka. She said Tidus and Wakka were now deeply involved in blitzball, a sport at the high school they went to. She talked about her friendship with Selphie, who was one year younger than her and looked up to Kairi as a sister and role model.
"I don't know why she thinks of me as her role model," she remarked as she pushed around the crumbles of dark cake on the plate in the middle of the table. "I mean, I never really pay attention at school and I don't really hang out with Tidus and Wakka anymore. We all used to be really close but…but some things…happened…"
She sighed and dropped the fork. Roxas winced at the vibrating sound of impact and looked at her. There was a forlorn look on her face, an expression of sadness that gave him a strange sinking feeling.
"Like what?" Roxas asked, knowing full well what had happened.
Sora and Riku. Kingdom Hearts. That's what happened, right Kairi? Right?
答えを出すこときっとすべてじゃない
焦らなくていいんだよ あなたも...
Surely, there's no answer for everything.
But there's no reason for you, to be impatient about it...
They had fallen silent again. The lull, the quiet murmurs of the conversations around them filled in for their lack of words. But Roxas didn't mind not saying anything. He never really did.
That was pretty much a lie, given how talkative he's been for a while but…
He looked at her, snuck in a peek, watched her as she studied the people in The White Lotus. She had her elbows propped up on the table, her head resting on the platform her hands offered her. In the low light of the outdoors, the white ring seemed to glow.
FIND THE WAY
輝く宇宙に手は届かなくても
響く愛だけ頼りに
進んだ道の先光が見つかるから
FIND THE WAY
If you can't reach the sparkling sky with your hands
Rely on the love that echoes within
And push ahead on this road till you find the light
"Kairi?"
"Hmm?"
"Um…you left this…the other time," he said, pulling out her necklace, with that little white circle of stone dangling from the dark string, from his pocket. He placed it on the table in the space between them.
"Oh…I forgot about that," Kairi said, staring down at it. She laughed about it nervously, then reached out for it. She hesitated for a second, then slowly wrapped her fingers around the necklace and took it back.
Silence.
He stared at the table, wasn't sure of what to do next. What did he want to do? He wasn't sure of it. Maybe he didn't know because there wasn't really anything he wanted now. It was all there.
There's nothing more I desire. I have what I want, don't I? It's enough, isn't it? But…there's something…missing…
"Roxas?"
"Yeah?"
"What are you thinking?"
He looked at her rather sharply but was met with a stiff rebuttal. Instantly, his defensiveness relaxed and he blinked.
"I…"
Your eyes. What's that word? It's there…no it's not. It's gone. It's not lost but…I can't say it. I can't form the word. Why?
"I was just listening to the music," he said quietly.
FIND THE WAY
言葉なくても飛ぶ翼はなくても
乱す風に負けぬ様に
進んだ道の先確かな光を見た...
YOU'LL FIND THE WAY
FIND THE WAY
When there are no words, and no wings to fly with,
Don't be thrown in chaos by the wind and lose
Push ahead on this road, and you will certainly find the light...
YOU'LL FIND THE WAY
"Okay, so ready to pay?" Kobi had reappeared. "And tip. Don't forget the tip. Or the next time you come here I'm not giving you anything."
"Kobi, we could just ask another waiter," Roxas retorted while rolling his eyes.
"'We', eh? You planning to come back here with this here chick-"
"Kobi!" Roxas sputtered. The guy was just so damn persistent! And how'd he pick that up? He's just like Hayner!
"For your information," the 'chick' interjected quite calmly, "my name is Kairi."
"Ah…right. You're one of those chicks who like to assert themselves, eh? Female power, right? Right?"
"Oh my god…" Roxas groaned, rubbing his right temple. "Please, Kobi, here."
He pulled munny out of his pocket and dumped it in the waiter's hand. "Keep whatever's left over. Now will you please go away?"
"Will do," Kobi grinned. Apparently he could tell Roxas had given him more than necessary for pay and tip. The waiter pranced away as Roxas pressed against his other temple and sighed.
"Remind me to put a paper bag on my head the next time we come here," he muttered, thoroughly embarrassed.
"Aw, cheer up," Kairi said with a gentle smile. She reached over and pulled his left hand away from his head, covered it in both of hers. "He was funny, if you think about it."
He looked at her optimistic face, felt the smile grow on him. Roxas cleared his throat, said, "Yeah, I guess so…"
Warmth. From the nothingness came a velvet heat. Puzzled, he looked around, wondering at the source. Then he looked down at his hand, at her fingers as they stroked the back of his hand. She seemed to be lost in thought. She had a wistful gaze as she tilted her head slightly and her hair cascaded downward in a burnished curtain. Roxas involuntarily swallowed and tried to look elsewhere.
"Where…where do we go?" he thought he heard her say. "What's up ahead? What…"
She sighed, then looked at him.
"Where to now?"
"Where do you want to go?" Roxas echoed.
"How about…" Kairi leaned back, looked down the street. "Let's look around. I like this place."
"So do I," he agreed. He tugged at his hand but she tightened her hold on it. He looked at her quizzically but she only smiled.
"Uh…Kairi?"
She touched the ring on his finger with her thumb, then stood up, pushing the chair behind her with her foot. "Let's go."
Kairi nearly dragged him out of the café; Roxas almost crashed into a table on the way out. He stumbled out, then the tip of his shoe got caught in a rather wide crack on the ground and he fell over.
"Ha, ha, you clumsy idiot," Kairi laughed as he sat on his bottom and rubbed his knee. A series of curses ran through his mind and a few escaped his mouth.
"Aren't you gonna get up?" she asked while he looked around and noticed that other people had noticed his brilliant walking skills. He then looked at her, and grinned.
"Nah…too lazy."
She walked up to him and held out her hand. "Oh get up, you lazy…"
…bum, he finished silently for her as she went silent. He saw her shake, take a small step back, but her outstretched hand still offered. He looked up at her, at the suddenly dark and sorrowful eyes.
I know what you're thinking.
He took her hand, wrapped his fingers around her palm as she pulled him to his feet. She pulled a bit forcefully – maybe she had become nervous or something – and he stumbled into her, shoving her against wall of the buildings on the other side of Lover's Lane.
He heard her surprised breathing, the rapid intake and outtake of breath as he opened his eyes and stared at her jaw line. He closed his eyes, felt an unexplainable warmth flood through his entire body, felt a pressure that came and went at a rapid pace against him.
"Roxas," she whispered. Maybe she wanted him off but there was a lilt in her voice, a whisper that looped around his neck and held him there.
He knew she didn't want him to go away. Not yet. Not yet.
But I have to, don't I?
He pulled back, heard a sigh loose from her. He looked at her; she was staring straight ahead, her face flushed, but then she tilted her head slightly to look at him. Something seemed to be stirring in the back of her mind. Something was alive inside him.
He no longer looked at her eyes, felt his gaze drawn elsewhere. Elsewhere…her lips, her mouth, the slight space, the gap running between the rosy dusting…he could see the warm living air flow out into the evening, see cold freshness rush in…
Closer…he leaned closer…
…he opened his mouth, let her try the kiss, let her try what he had done to her. He had opened her up, made her more willing, and now he was letting her. He felt her slide in, brushing by the inside of his cheek, and he shook from the caress. It was nothing he's ever felt and experienced before. And he loved it. That was the word. He loved it…
"Roxas…"
He opened his eyes. A deep blue sea swallowed him.
"Roxas…Roxas…"
He could feel the movement of air, felt the hot air fill him, enter him. He could feel her lips move as she mouthed his name, despite the distance between them. She was whispering it and he-he loved it. He loved it. Like the kiss in the dream, he loved the sound of her voice whispering into his ear.
What are you doing, Roxas? Roxas, you shouldn't be doing this. You shouldn't try to turn that dream into reality. Stop it, Roxas. Stop it. Stop it!
He tried to understand. It wasn't happening. The understanding wasn't coming. No revelations, no enlightenment. He-he wanted…but he didn't…couldn't…he was frozen, he couldn't move. He…he knew she didn't want him to…what? No, she didn't want him to go away. She wanted him closer…closer…but at the same time, her voice was begging him to stop, to back away.
Roxas stepped back, away from her. His jaw felt loosely hinged; he feared all the words he would try to utter would come out garbled and unworked. His apology would never make it in complete form. He took another shaky step back and nearly fell.
She had her back to the wall, had her whole weight against the high-rising building. Kairi looked at him as though in a daze; she looked oddly…vulnerable. Exposed. Open. He felt the urge to touch her, to run his fingertip along the curved jaw and feel her, but he suppressed it. He was now frightened, truly frightened. This shouldn't be happening…and it was.
"I…" His voice was barely there. He cleared his throat, then tried again. "I'm…I'm sorry."
She looked at him. Her eyes were pleading him, begging him. All she wanted as an answer. An answer to what had just taken place, an answer to the dynamics of their relationship. Could they keep this up…or will something happen between them?
He wasn't looking, he was staring at his feet, but he heard her step towards him. Towards him. Roxas.
"I'm sorry, too," she said with a murmur. Her hand reached out, intertwined with his. She held it tightly, gave it a squeeze, then said, "Look up, Roxas. Look at me. It's okay. It's okay…"
He did. He looked at her. And right away he knew what she was thinking.
It was not okay. She knew, he knew, that something was happening and it was wrong. Something was going to happen…and nobody was going to like it.
Least of all them.
Authors' Endnote: Heehee…I know, that in the back of your minds, you're screaming and pulling your hair out and wondering, "WHY!" And uh, I gotta go so yeah, comments, questions, review please, thanks.