Disclaimer: Obviously all of the game characters, places etc. are creative property of BioWare.

BETA READER: AblatedCrayon

I feel like this a more broken down chapter, with slightly more interruptions in between, but this is more of a transition anyways (well this one and next one) so hopefully that doesn't break the flow too much.

Chapter 13

Tabula Rasa

Because things are the way they are, they will not stay the way they are.

- Bertold Brecht -

Josh's face felt weird, shaven and clean, but that was one of Sarah's conditions when he came back a week ago. That and the 'no-drinking' rule she imposed on him. Josh felt as if Sarah was missing her parental duties since her daughter was all grown up, but he couldn't help feeling frustrated at what he was taking some 'heat' for. He shaved, and that was fine enough, but when his sister asked him to survive without booze, it almost killed him.

He had been sober for a week, and awake for nearly as long. Every time Josh dared close his eyes, his nightmares caught up to him. They didn't catch him unaware or unprepared; he was ready, and he knew that with sleep came something more sinister, but there was no defence. Every night he woke up and shook, cold sweat dripping onto the bed sheets, and every night he begged Sarah for at least one shot—just something to put him out. It was either that or a bullet.

To give his sister credit, Josh was feeling better, and even though it was just a week, he was already catching at least two hours of unimpaired sleep. Here's to hoping it gets even better, he always wanted to say, but the joke was too close for comfort, and he had nothing to toast with.

Since he came back, Josh had been delaying something very important to him, something he absolutely had to do. What he found out on his journey troubled him. The fact that another human was behind the attacks was horrible, but that was not what he feared the most. Josh had come to a firm conclusion to allow the Alliance handle their own business—for all he knew they may have already forgotten about Elysium and moved on to 'bigger & better' things. He wasn't going to do their job for them, and he couldn't care less, in his mind. His revenge was complete, even if it didn't bring him any closure.

Now there was no delaying it, though. He couldn't fight it any longer, couldn't wait to be completely free of the alcohol and his nightmares. He feared those days might never come with the status quo. He stood there, staring at Tanya, her picture engraved so carefully and true to life into her tombstone. Daughter, sister, hero, read the letters beneath the image. Here, beyond the fragility of life and inside Josh's mind, Tanya was so clean, so beautifully innocent and pure. He felt almost unworthy standing before her, having done what he has in the past years: killing people for information, actually enjoying the process, and chasing every bad notion with gallons of liquor. He didn't deserve to stand before her, and yet he did.

"I did it," his mouth moved softly, releasing barely audible whispers, "I did it. I am sorry it took so long, but it is done. The one responsible, the bastard who did this to you, is all gone now. He's somewhere else, somewhere much worse than what I put him through, but much better than he deserves. I got him Tanya, I got him."

"Then why do I feel like shit?" Josh collapsed to his knees; tears now free flowing down his cheeks and onto the soft ground. "Why does it still hurt every time I think about you? Why does being the 'miraculous' survivor make me feel like I should have died out there with them, with you? I love you..."

He cried, not like he often did after Tanya passed on, but like he did when his mom died. He couldn't hold it back. He felt bad, he felt sorry for himself, and he hated the feeling. Josh wanted to scream, to shout, to do something to release everything, but something was still clutching at him, pulling him back, pulling him down, pulling him under.

"I thought it would make things better," he mumbled through the tears. "I hoped it would make some things go away completely. I thought it would allow me to finally let go. I love you, but I can't let your death haunt me. I will forever hold on to the good memories we've shared, however brief they are, but I can't be stuck on your passing. You deserved better. You deserved to walk out of Elysium alive, and I should have been dead down there, in your place." In his mind he knew if such a decision was ever an option he would take it without any hesitation.

Josh looked up at the tombstone again and got up, wiping his tears, his tank on empty. He did not move. He just stood there, his body static, eyes focused on the image before him. Something pulled at him and was not letting go; something kept him facing his nightmare in its eyes. For some reason Josh did not allow himself to feel better, nor did he allow himself to feel relieved that all was over. He only felt like one thing: like shit.

MExMExMExME

Sarah's office was brightly lit as always. She was sitting right across from Josh, enjoying a thin strip of cheese and looking at her brother. For the past week she couldn't be happier to have Josh back, but her 'motherly' instincts were bothering her. She was truly worried and wanted her brother out of the hole he dug for himself.

Josh had his hands folded across his chest. His face was determined and calm. He appreciated most of Sarah's efforts, but he couldn't rely on his sister forever. His mind was partially clear now, the alcohol exiting his system by a bit every day. He still had nightmares, but calm sleep was slowly returning to him. He was finally getting some rest and figuring things out.

"I know that look." Sarah smiled slightly.

"What look?" Josh jokingly played it off.

"The 'you've got your mind set on something, and there is nothing I can say to dissuade you look,'" Sarah reached for another stripe of cheese.

"Am I that obvious?"

"You try not to be." She couldn't stop smiling around Josh since he came back. "But I'm your sister, remember? Families have visual cues; I've learned yours long ago. Now come on Josh, don't stretch this melodrama any longer. Speak."

"I'm leaving," Josh leaned forward, reaching for another piece of cheese and a cracker, eyeing a beer bottle on the side of the table.

"Again? Haven't you hunted enough?" Sarah leaned forward. "She'd want you to stop; she'd want you to move on. She'd want you to live."

"It's not to hunt anything," Josh sighed. "I've hunted enough. Some things I've found," he paused, considering if he should let his sister in on his discovery about Elysium. "Some things best stay hidden. I won't find answers here either. I can't be a burden on you; I have to figure things out on my own."

"And you think running away again will help?"

"I'm not running, I'm," Josh paused, looking for things to say. "I... I just need to figure things out. I think I figured out who can help me and where I can go."

"I'm your sister." Sarah reached out to put her hand on top of his. "I want what's best for you, but I won't hold your hand. At least tell me where you're headed. God knows I deserve that much, after all you've put me through. I know you may not want my help right now, but you may see that you need it. Give me that much."

"Eden Prime," Josh turned and walked out of his sister's office slowly, feeling her gaze on his back. He promised to himself that this would not end like last time, he would not get lost in and consumed by a wild chase, he would not race off into the darkness on his own again, not now. Sarah just sat there, staring at his back. As much as she wanted to get up and grab his hand to pull him back. It was not what their father would do. He always said that people fall so that they can learn to pick themselves up, that was his philosophy, though she always dogged because of the suspicion it was a cheesy line from some movie. Josh needed to figure things out for himself, but he also need to know that she was there for him.

"Keep in touch," she said as he was about to walk out, "or I will come down there."

The hallways of Sarah's office building felt twice as long on his way out. The well-decorated walls did not create an ambiance of sophistication anymore; instead all he could feel was loneliness and despair. In his mind, he was grasping at the last strings of sanity, trying to hold on for dear life. There was so much that went wrong; something was bound to go right one day soon, and he hoped that day was here now. Josh didn't know what else to do, or where else to go. He needed this. In his mind he knew that he has done all he could; even more, he brought himself down with his aspirations of revenge. Yet, it didn't make him feel any better; it just gnawed at him. Perhaps he needed to leave it all behind, once and for all, to forget.

MExMExMExME

The room Sarah had left him was dark. The dim, blue light of the monitor glowed weakly. Josh's face looked almost serene in the light—calm and peaceful. His eyes were focused intently on the screen as his fingers banged on the keys, searching through his own mailbox. Many mixed feelings emerged, and he didn't know what to feel while re-reading the past few years of letters. It was like hitting a rewind button on everything else except for himself—time travel, as foolish as the notion was. If only he could just go back, re-read his life like he could these letters. Finally, he found the one he was looking for.

From: kamilah..

To: j_.et

Subject: Still Alive?

Click For Attachment

Josh,

Hey, it's fairly easy to forget that you're actually responding to these, knowing that you're probably somewhere far off. I've got some good news: they're allowing me to stay here on Eden Prime, permanently, just like I wanted. I know it's quite different from what I told you that one night back on Elysium, but I don't really want space anymore. I don't have to prove myself to anyone. Besides, it's quite beautiful here; you should see it.

I've been really good at setting myself up here. I mean, I have a family now, I have to think about them too. I've been dreading this day for a while, but now that I got a permission to stay I think we'll be fine. I've settled down now and the past few years really gave me a perspective on things. I want to live with my husband and daughter, see her grow up, not move around the galaxy waiting for that one time a year I get to see her. I'm so glad I can stay here.

Look, I probably shouldn't be writing this, but you have to come here—just for a visit. It's really gorgeous, trust me. I know you've been moving around for so long now, searching for those responsible. I assume it's just too much to ask you to let go now, however, so when you're ready to take a break, just come for a visit. This place can heal the damaged soul, or so they say. I've attached my address and all in this mail. It's probably the last one in a while as I will try to adjust to full-time living. That's all I have to say, I guess. I've never been too good with words, especially written ones.

Kamilah

That was close to a year ago, the date under the email told Josh. So much had changed, especially in the last few months, but Kamilah wouldn't know that—not yet at least. Josh wondered if she would still welcome him if she saw what he had become. Perhaps to those who knew him, Josh would remain an image that stood for something, but to him he seemed no more than a shadow, an empty shell of what used to be.

There was no backing out now. He made his decision and even told Sarah his intentions, doing anything else at this point would just be pathetic. Josh had done many things in his life which made it difficult to look at the face in the mirror, but going back on his own word would not be added to that list. His bags were packed, and he was ready. He only had to convince himself that the tingling sensation in the bottom of his stomach was excitement, not fear.

MExMExMExME

By the time Josh's ship landed on Eden Prime he was already too scared to eat anything for the next few hours. Sarah had offered to 'sponsor' his trip, putting forth some of her cash, but Josh refused. He never relied on his sister's money too heavily and wasn't going to start now. Whatever he had left from his search for revenge went into this flight. He really felt like he was putting it all on the line, or something not quite as cliché, with coming to Eden Prime. After all, it'd been close to nine years, Kamilah probably had a life of her own, or was attempting to. Nevertheless, that didn't stop her from writing him every month for close to eight years until that final and abrupt email.

Josh always hated stepping down from ships. His body felt shaky, and he needed to apply extra control over all his functions just not to showcase his lunch for all to see. Once he regained enough control to move freely, Josh made his way through the checkpoints. The methodical routine was always the same, but this time it felt weird. A strange sensation grabbed him and wouldn't let go.

Once Josh's foot hit the outside of the space port, he froze. Eden Prime was indeed beautiful. His mind was frantically searching for words to describe what he saw, but nothing felt appropriate enough. The landscape varied, but the lush and rich vegetation covered it from head to toe. The early rays of the sunlight crept over the hill, illuminating one side of everything while casting long shadows behind. The many colours of different tree leaves played against each other, creating a unique and captivating spectrum. For one of the few times in his life, Josh truly stood speechless.

His lungs took a few seconds to work back into a steady rhythm as Josh started to look around. He was at one of the smaller space ports, more of a dedicated research site, shared with a small Alliance garrison for protection. Josh decided not to ask for directions, after all, the zone was small in size.

Outside of the research sites and the cargo train tracks, Eden Prime avoided the paved and systematic feel of the 'dead city,' a feat not many other colonies accomplished. Most of the walkways were still natural ground, a multitude of footprints dried into the dirt. Josh smiled at the fact that he still could easily identify which ones belonged to Alliance soldiers and which ones were the tender marks of the science team. Furthermore, he could even determine the gender of the footsteps' owners.

The Alliance camp was worked into the science settlement in usual military fashion. A number of patrol squads were littered in and around, but the main checkpoint was clearly inside the military camp. A young marine stepped in front of Josh as he was just about to make his way into the Alliance military territory.

"Identification, sir," the man's young voice was loud and direct, upbeat, which identified him as one of the newer recruits.

"I am here to visit someone," Josh acted casually, not at all intimidated by the man.

"No one gets through without proper ID," the youngster didn't give any ground, getting slightly closer to a face-to-face confrontation.

"Calm down, G.I. Joe." Josh squinted slightly because the sun was up now and he couldn't quite tolerate it. It wasn't 'hangover' annoying, but it was annoying.

"Sir." The soldier got closer, and his tone became hostile. "I will ask you to present proper identification or leave."

"What's the problem, Hazard?" a female voice came from somewhere behind the man.

"Nothing, Chief." The man turned briefly. "I was just about to point a visitor the other way."

"I'm actually headed where I need to be." Josh tried to squeeze through, but the man's hand grabbed him around his bicep.

Josh moved in a flash. He may have been a drinker in rehab, but in the past nine years he had to keep his skills far beyond Alliance basic. Mercenaries didn't exactly play by the rules of engagement, and one had to adjust. The young soldier's wrist snapped under the pressure of Josh's forceful touch. He twisted the marine's hand behind the man's body, pushing him down onto knees. He wanted nothing less than to push marine's face into the dirt but noted a gun fixed on him.

"Nobody move!" The female came into view, her brunette hair wrapped in a bun behind her head. There was something really attractive about her, but then again, the barrel of a gun ruined any real chance of proper appreciation.

"If Guile here would let me finish," Josh let go of the man's hand, "I would tell him who I'm here to visit, and he could run and get her like a proper soldier. Now he will have to go get a cast instead."

"That's nice," the woman said, edging slightly closer with her aim still fixed. "Turn around."

"Look this is ridiculous..."

"I said, TURN AROUND!"

"If you want to shoot me," Josh came closer, "shoot me, but before, could you at least tell Kamilah Alee that she has a visitor, and she'll probably be happy to see me."

The woman stood still for a second, giving just enough time to allow the younger soldier to get up. Josh could see in the man's eyes that he wanted nothing more than to throw a vicious punch, but the presence of a higher rank kept him back. The woman turned to the youngster.

"Go get First Sergeant Alee." She noted a slight hesitation so she added, "Now, Private."

"Right away, Gunnery Chief." The youngster shot off a straight salute with his healthy arm and ran off.

The next couple of minutes seemed to drag on infinitely. The Gunnery Chief did not let down her guard, keeping the assault rifle trained on Josh. He wanted to pace back and forth, or even run away at some point, but Josh could feel the crosshair on him, and something told him she was a pretty good shot. He tried to smile, diffuse the atmosphere somehow, but nothing seemed appropriate.

Josh used the time to fully evaluate the woman before him. She seemed quite attractive, and had a mean-spirited aura to her to boot. While she was definitely pretty, Josh easily felt the determination behind her fixed gaze. This one did not allow anything to get in the way of her role of a soldier, and by the way she held her assault rifle, the Gunnery Chief had something to prove.

Finally, the minutes of agonizing silence were broken with appearance of Kamilah dressed in her civilian clothes, probably on her day off.

"Josh?" He couldn't tell if Kamilah sounded surprised or angry, but either way it was nice just to see her face again.

She had barely changed, even after all the time he hadn't seen her. Her slim figure still filled any set of clothes well enough to make anyone turn their head. Josh even noted the Gunnery Chief sneak a quick peek. There was very little evidence that Kamilah changed at all, which was not surprising with technological advancements that allowed everyone to preserve their youth. Yet, something was different. Her presence was changed now; she was more assertive and confident.

"Josh?" Kamilah moved closer now, "I can't believe it's really you. You actually came for a visit." She turned her face to the Gunner Chief, "Stand down, Williams."

"Yes ma'am." Williams brought down her assault rifle and stiffened as her hand shot up for a salute.

Kamilah cleared the rest of the distance between her and Josh in a second, wrapping her arms around him. Josh couldn't help but follow suit. He couldn't tell how long they stood there in each other's arms, long lost friends, one welcoming the other back, but neither he nor Kamilah wanted to break it off. She seemed to come to her senses first, though.

"Come," she said, grabbing him by the wrist. "I live right around the corner. Where's the rest of your stuff?"

"I don't have anything else." Josh shrugged. There was only one small bag over his shoulders; he didn't bother to pick up anything new while living with Sarah.

"Ma'am," Williams stepped into their path with yet another unrequited salute.

"What is it, Ash?" Kamilah sounded very relaxed, like an officer of duty, which she was.

"We need to file a report," Ashley said quickly, "about Steve's wrist."

"I'll handle it," Kamilah retorted. "Get the papers on my desk before you go off-duty tonight."

"Yes ma'am."

"Come." She grabbed Josh by the hand and dragged him after her. "Let's go. I can't believe you're actually here."

For the next few minutes they walked in full silence. Josh took the time to look around again. He thought that he spent enough time gawking at the scenery of the planet, but he was wrong. Everything seemed to gain a different colour as the light shifted in the sky. Reflections changed in microscopic ways, but it seemed to make a ton of difference. The radiance of the planet surface shifted constantly, like a waterfall always guided by the rocks.

No matter where Josh looked this time, his gaze always came back to Kamilah. She was just as beautiful as he remembered—the girl who distracted everyone in her unit, but for him, she was still a friend first and foremost. Her light grasp of his hand signified some changed. The Kamilah of the past was more stern, more aware of her actions, and always focused on working extra hard because, in her opinion, her looks 'set her back' as a serious soldier. There seemed to be no such insecurity anymore. Kamilah had learned to embrace the best of both sides.

Her house wasn't overly big, but it was large enough to house a few people. It was only one story high with a very retrospective architectural style. To Josh, it seemed like something straight out of his history textbook, perhaps the early XXI Century. Kamilah unlocked the door and walked in, Josh following in her footsteps.

"Make yourself at home. Amanda has left for school on Earth a few weeks ago so you should enjoy the peace and quiet." She pointed down a mini-hallway, to where it opened up into a spacious living room, "I'll just grab something for us to talk over. Coffee? Tea? Wine? Beer?"

"Beer," Josh smiled, slipping out of his shoes and making his way into the living room. He quickly found the couch and sat down. The room was decorated very neatly; everything seemed to have its place and purpose. The only things that created a clutter were pictures of Kamilah's family. Her husband looked good, but her kid was absolutely captivating, in a very cute way only a six-year-old can be.

"We have so much to talk about," Kamilah's voice came over a small bar-top table, separating the kitchen and the living room. "It's been so long, and you hardly write."

She reappeared carrying a tray. On top of it were two cold bottles of Heineken and a bowl of mixed salted nuts. She set the tray onto the glass table and grabbed one of the bottles, quickly twisting the cap off as she sat down to the side of him in a large arm chair. Josh grabbed his own beer.

"So?" Kamilah leaned forward, staring at him.

"So what?" Josh stared back, throwing a few cashews into his mouth.

"We have not seen each other for nine years, you barely write, and he asks 'so what?'" Kamilah used a mock-accusing intonation.

Josh leaned back, prepared himself, and told her everything of importance out of the last nine years.

He started with recalling his initial wanderings, lost in between nowhere and anywhere, drowned in the bottle of hard liquor. Straight after the Elysium bureaucracy was all sorted out, Josh left without any plans to come back. He travelled with his small savings at first, trying to figure out a purpose or a destination that would take his mind of things, but nothing seemed to come up. After about a year and a half of mindless wandering, all he did was chase himself deeper into the bottle, into an everlasting slumber.

Closer to the end, he started hearing of the Alliance gearing up for an assault on Torfan, for a retaliation blow long overdue. For the time being he sobered up and waited, hoping that some closure would come. The press touted Torfan as a big success, even though none of the main 'actors' in orchestrating the assault on Elysium were caught or killed. Around that time, rumours started to swirl that perhaps the batarians were not the ones wholly responsible for the Blitz.

While visiting one of the lower slum bars on one of the many planets, Josh heard a turian mercenary bragging about how he earned his first experience during the Blitz, attacking the humans. He waited and hunted the turian down, beating him for information on anyone who knew may be responsible. And since then, the hunt was on. Sometimes he went months without action, lost of direction or just too drunk to move, but when he 'worked' it all came fast.

Josh sorted his way through the who's who of the dregs of society, sometimes forcing the information out of someone, sometimes buying it if the person was of a higher profile. Despite anything, he had no big breaks. He traded one small-timer for another, leaving bodies in his wake, adding more nightmares for his 'collection,' but nothing else.

Not so long ago, a mysterious stranger contacted Josh, advising him to go to Omega in search of answers. He didn't tell him more than that, but hinted that perhaps Josh would finally be able to see some conclusion to his pointless chase. After that, things moved way too fast, bringing him to the anticlimactic ending of it all.

When Josh was finally finished, the room fell silent for a bit. Kamilah simply sat there, looking at him. Her hand slowly moved on top of his, gentle fingers squeezing ever so slightly. Without his noticing, some tears seemed to have appeared on his face: small evidence of the fact that he was still at least partially human inside.

"So it was a human?" Kamilah finally found her voice.

"I don't know," Josh admitted, "and honestly, I don't care anymore. I can't chase them forever. I killed the man that killed Tanya. I hoped that would be enough."

"Was it?"

"No," Josh said honestly, shifting his sad gaze downward.

"Maybe you've been searching in all the wrong places." Kamilah shifted herself to the couch, and wrapped her hands around him, "Maybe you should have been trying to move on. Honour Tanya instead of chasing shadows and drinking yourself into a stupor."

He knew she was right, but a part of him refused to admit it. Tanya would never have wanted him to chase after revenge or to destroy his own life in order to bring a conclusion to hers. Josh thought about that every night, usually dousing it with heavy liquor. "What's done is done," he said quietly, holding on to Kamilah. "I just want to move on."

Kamilah smiled as she pulled away slightly, looking him straight in the eye. She got up graciously and scooped up the empty bottles with the tray and went into the kitchen. She reappeared a few seconds later with two new bottles. "Enough about that," she said, understanding Josh's pain. "Let's talk about something else."

"I thought I shouldn't drink myself to death?" Josh tried to make a joke out of it. In truth, Kamilah was not making it easier.

"There is no better casual atmosphere for the friends to catch up than sharing beers though," she handed him a bottle, "besides, I'm here, and that's your last one, mister."

"Mister?"

"Too far?" Kamilah smiled, "anyways, take the beer or not it's time to redirect this conversation."

"I agree." Josh slowly accepted the bottle and then reclined his body, a miniature version of a smile on his lips. "So who is he? I mean I've seen the pictures and all, but that hardly describes a person."

"Patrick? He's a researcher." Kamilah smiled, perhaps playing all her cards a bit too early. "An archaeologist, actually. They are looking for something here on Eden Prime; he never explained what exactly. In the end, we decided to stay after the excavations were over and my station was done with. It's a pity you couldn't meet Amanda, but we decided it was necessary she gets the best education available, being as smart as she is."

"When do I meet the fellow," Josh enjoyed the cold beer streaming down his throat, "I'd very much like to."

"You'll have plenty of time." Kamilah smiled and then gazed at Josh's knapsack quickly. "After all, if you're staying here for a bit you two are bound to run into each other."

"Is that a formal invitation?"

"As formal as you will get," they both were laughing now.

"And here I was expecting a pretty postcard to top it off," Josh clinked the bottom of Kamilah's beer bottle with the bottom of his own, the glass sending a small vibration up each of their hands. He was truly happy for her, albeit slightly sad for himself.

A knock interrupted them.

"Maybe you'll get to meet him sooner rather than later," Kamilah smiled, setting down the beer bottle onto the table and rushing towards the door.

Josh could see the hallway from here and did not feel the need to get up. Contrary to what Kamilah thought, it was not her husband. Josh clearly made out a female form in the doorway, dressed in familiar armour at that. Voices reached him clearly.

"Gunnery Chief?" Kamilah felt slightly thrown off.

"I decided to drop off the report myself," the other woman said quickly, "just to save the hassle of filing it."

"Do you ever take a break?" Kamilah's tone quite the opposite to Ashley's, very relaxed and calm, as opposed to stern and direct.

"You know I don't, ma'am," Williams was quick to point out.

"You can't just keep moving at such paces." Kamilah smiled. "You may forget to live at all. There is actually someone I'd like you to meet. Can you come in for a second?"

"Sure," Ashley sounded a little thrown off, but Josh saw her form enter into the house, the door closing behind them.

"I know you already met under more 'formal' circumstances," Kamilah appeared first, leading the young Gunnery Chief in behind her, "but I do not believe you've been properly introduced. Gunnery Chief Ashley Williams, meet, I guess now former Corporal Joshua Dri, one of the main reasons Elysium is still a human colony."

Josh did not exert himself by getting up, but only tilted his bottle slightly in his hand towards Ashley. He imagined he looked nothing like a Corporal, relaxed on the soft couch with a beer in his hand. At least his face was shaved.

"I heard Commander Shepard was the reason Elysium is still a human colony." Ashley was quick on the tongue, so it seemed. Very direct, and Josh quickly figured out that she wasn't too fond of him, a small surprise judging from their first encounter.

"So they say." Josh smiled.

"He was important too," Kamilah was quick to reassure. "I just wanted to get done with the first impressions, considering he will be staying around for a while, Ash. I'd like you to be slightly nicer."

"Former Corporal?" Ashley did not acknowledge if she heard Kamilah's final comment or not, her eyes still fixed on Josh.

"The Alliance is not quick to take back people who walked away from it." Josh steadied his posture a bit.

"Running away from the battle instead of towards it? I'd call that cowardice." Ashley seemed to smirk. "Not something I'd expect a 'reason for why Elysium is still standing' to do."

"Ashley!" Kamilah got a bit frustrated. "Could you curb it and play nice? Josh used to be a good soldier."

"Besides," Josh liked this game, "your generals would call that strategizing, but what do I know."

They stood there silently for a second, basking in the awkwardness of it all. Josh appreciated Kamilah's effort to try and integrate him back into some sort of life, but perhaps his first impression cut too deep. He thought he had figured Ashley out at this point: a female soldier, quite gorgeous in her own right, but stern and determined as if she had something to prove and a lot of people to prove it to. She never quit and did not tolerate quitters or people who took any kind of shortcut from the Alliance code, as she appeared to never have taken one. Small wonder her and Kamilah appeared to be friends.

"Look Ash," Kamilah's voice cut through the uncomfortable silence, "I'll see you tomorrow. Thanks for dropping off the report. You saved me some time."

"No problem." Ashley smiled and turned to walk away before pausing for a brief glance back at Josh. "Nice to meet you," she hardly tried to sound convincing.

"Likewise." Josh was genuine.

Once the Gunner Chief was out the door, Kamilah came right back wearing quite an apologetic expression. "I didn't know she would get like that. She's a really great person and a good friend, it's just some of her... personal issues have made her of harder stuff than others."

"Don't ever try to set me up like that again," Josh warned jokingly.

"I wasn't; she's just a good friend, and you'll be seeing a lot of her too. What now?"

"I'd love to have a shower and some rest," Josh felt fatigue wrapping its heavy arms around him. "It's been a long day."

"Of course." Kamilah grabbed Josh by the arm, helping him get up. "Let me show you where the guest room and the shower are."