Chapter 14: The Explanation
Masamune POV
I couldn't believe my eyes when I first saw Ritsu at the park right here in Rome. I wanted to burst into tears once he rushes into my arms but I didn't. Instead, I hold him in my arms just loving the feeling of having Ritsu back in my arms. I couldn't forgive myself for the argument by shouting at him full of words with hurtful things. I assume that Ritsu would've lived off a life without me but soon within a year later when I force myself to refuse to visit Onodera regardless of what my heart was saying to me. Every day I regret those words that have escaped from my lips. Those weren't the words I wanted to say, those words shouldn't have been said in the first place.
YOU'RE SUCH A ANNOYANCE !
LEAVE ME ALONE!
I think it's best if we never see each other again
Those words still ring into my mind till this day, I hated myself so much I even thought about committing suicide but I couldn't. I couldn't bear the thought of leaving my precious Ritsu behind alone on Earth. My love for Ritsu is still as strong ever since the day I confess my love for him in our high school years. I regretted all the things I have done when I first hurt him and I vow to myself that I would never break his heart again but I broke that promise. I broke the young man that I loved and let him be happy with someone one. That may have to be my former best friend Yokozawa.
I still couldn't believe that Yokozawa would ever have the nerves of cheating on Ritsu behind his back. Especially during the war in which he has fought for our country to become an honorable war hero. But that change once he reveals his affair for the entire world to read by humiliating himself along with Ritsu. I was so angry with him that all I remember was blood coming out from Yokozawa nose and on my knuckles. But I was mostly angry with myself since I should've gotten the courage to talk with Ritsu.
If I apologize in the first place then none of this mess would've happened in the first place. I blame myself and no one else since this is my fault. Everything I did to hurt Ritsu is all my fault since I couldn't control my damn anger. But if I told Ritsu the truth of why I was so angry in the first place then my love would've been hating me more back then. I was more scared of having my beloved Ritsu hating me than losing him. I was so pathetic and I'm still am till this very day.
"Masamune," Ritsu called
"Yes?" I asks
"Please don't cry, none of this is your fault"
My eyes widen in shock once I realize the warm liquid that was rolling my cheeks. I was crying, I was actually crying once again for the second time in the past five years. I couldn't shed a single tear since there wasn't anything worth crying anymore. But when I first saw Ritsu once again in five years I automatically believe that my entire world has suddenly returned all the colors of my grey world.
I place my hands on top of Ritsu hands who laid them on my cheeks while looking at me with a concerned look on his face. I smile at him with a depress smile that my love knows very well.
"It is my fault, Ritsu. I can't ever forgive myself for hurting you a second time. " I said
"...Masamune, those words you said may have torn us apart but love has brought us back together. It fine if you don't want to talk about of why you were so angry all those years ago since it's in the past now." Ritsu replied with a smile on his face
"No, you have the right to know why I said those words in the first place"
I lead Ritsu onto the grass where we were at the park despite the fact that the sun has finally left the skies with the moon looking at down at us. Ritsu sits beside behind me but hasn't let my hand go, he tightly held it with his own.
My heart began racing rapidly as if the world before us was about to crumble apart right before us. I took steady breathing before letting all the weights I held in for so long.
"Back in the year of 2016 before the day of the argument. I received a call from a twin sister that I have never known before. She informs me that once after spending a year with my father and raising us together, my mother walked out of my sister and our father lives. Just knowing the thought that I had a sister after these years and yet my mother couldn't get the courage to spill the truth about my father nor my twin sister. I felt so much anger and rage that I took it out on you and I shouldn't have." I inform with tears that were rolling down my cheeks once more
"Masamune,..." Ritsu replied softly
"After noticing of what I just was done...I force to refuse to see you since I knew deep down into your heart and soul that you hated me. I wanted to go back to your apartment just wanting to hold you in my arms once more and make love to you again. Instead, I acted like a coward,...a coward that you didn't deserve. The coward who took his anger out on you when I should've taken it out on my mother but I didn't. So instead of talking to you after the incident...I notice you and Yokozawa relationship. I was heartbroken but knowingly I deserve since the way Yokozawa saw you that was full of love and joy. I wanted you to be happy with him...instead being happy with a jackass like me"
Ritsu soon places his hands on my face before pressing his lips against my own. Everything went frozen for a moment until I kiss him back softly. It was forceful nor sexual like all the kisses from the past years. This kiss was different, it had the feeling of love and forgiveness. We broke away from the kiss as Ritsu looked at me with a soft smile knowing that he understood my situation. I couldn't understand how could my Ritsu forgive me so easily. I don't deserve him, I really don't deserve him.
"Oh, Masamune. I understand now, why you were so angry that day. I must admit those words were hurtful and it broke my heart when you said them. After I quit the company and almost life as well, I kept praying to myself that someone day you would come back to me and we would become the couple that we were in high school. But you didn't...I nearly committed suicide but Yokozawa save me and I devoted my life to him when he guides me through his winds. I honestly hope that day that it was you who saved my life" Ritsu said
I felt a slight pang of jealously rushing the course of the body as I softly spoke, "Did you ever love Yokozawa?"
"Yes, I did love him back then. It was quite a shock when Yokozawa and I became a couple. During the past two years of dating him, I honestly thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with him as his husband and probably have children of our own. Though during my relationship with Yokozawa...I never stop thinking about you not even one second. I wanted to return to you once Yokozawa...well you know"
"It ok...I understand. I still can't believe myself that Yokozawa could ever betray you like that"
"I know...After breaking off the engagement. I thought about returning back to you but I didn't want to be a burden to you so I decided to have a long journey in Europe. I admit it was hard at first to get over about Yokozawa. It took time but somehow I manage to make time for myself and get over about Yokozawa..but I could never get over about you, Masamune"
"Why?"
Ritsu blushed lightly before placing himself against my chest as we listen to our hearts synchronizing together. Our hearts were beating together as if they became one song just for the both of us. I didn't notice that Ritsu was still holding my hand at the moment where we didn't say anything at all. It was all silent except for the wind's singing its song through the soft branches of the trees across the park.
"Cause I love you," Ritsu confess
"What..." I stuttered
"I couldn't get over you because I love you, ..I love you, I love you, I love you...And I still love you,.I love you"
Tears were not streaming down over face as my heart has finally been once filled with love and the color of my entire world has suddenly gone brighter than ever. I held Ritsu in my arms not daring to let him go ever again. To this night in the city of Rome, I shall treasure my beloved Onodera Ritsu, no matter all the silly arguments we have, we can overcome any obstacles that get in our way, and as Ritsu has once said love has brought us together once more. We kiss each other once more with love, passion, forgiveness, and joy with other emotions that I can't just simply describe right now.
"Onodera Ritsu, would you do me the honor of becoming my lover once again?" I asks
"It would my pleasure of becoming your lover once again, Takano Masamune" Ritsu replied before kissing me once more under the moonlight in the city of Rome.
Whoo, that was the longest chapter I have ever wrote in this entire story, here I am once again alive and well, minus the stress from school and babysitting. Yeah...but anyway I hope you like this chapter and some reviews, please and thank you.