Authors Note - Woo! We're moving again! I love it when a fic acts like this and writes itself! Thanks as ever for the reviews etc, and big thanks to FTVW for giving me the idea for this next part (you gave it me weeks ago so you might have forgotten but it was definitely you!).
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Melinda had a body laid out on the table and was just putting the kettle on for her first cup of coffee of the day when there was a knock on the door. She looked up, although truth be known she didn't need to. She'd been expecting this particular visitor for some time.
She smiled when she saw she was correct, "Detective Benson, come on in."
Olivia came into the room, giving the stiff on the table an awkward glance as she did so, "If you're busy, I can come back later."
Melinda shook her head. She knew why the other women was there, and what she wanted, and there was no way she was going to put her off. She turned to her assistant, "Can you stick this one on ice? The Detective and I are going out."
As she left the room, and headed for the locker room, she indicated for Olivia to follow her, which she did, although quibbling about the fact that she was pulling her away from her work,
"Its not professional Melinda, its personal."
She stopped, looking Olivia right in the eyes, "I know what it is Olivia. I dealt with your rape kit, and I knew then that you'd make your way here. Your squad are good, and I'm sure emotionally they're giving you all the support you need. But, sometimes its not all about emotions right? Sometimes its about science. And for that? I'm your girl. So why don't you hit the Starbucks across the street and I'll be with you as soon as I'm changed."
Olivia nodded slowly, smiling weakly but gratefully. Melinda reached out, giving her arm a squeeze and then headed into the locker room to get back into her civvies.
She did so, in record time, and arrived at Starbucks not long afterwards to find Olivia sat in a booth, nursing a mineral water, staring into it like it was the most interesting thing on the planet. She got a coffee for herself and then went to join her.
"Quarter for them?" She asked gently.
Olivia shrugged, "I was just thinking that maybe this was a bad idea." She looked up at her, a guilty expression on her face, "You and Fin… you've been out. You must feel conflicted."
"We've been out drinking, dancing." Melinda said, wanting to reassure her, "Shared the occasional plate of nachos. Its hardly the romance of the century. I don't feel conflicted." And she didn't, that much was true. She had done, the day before, when the rape kit had landed on her desk and she'd seen the details. Casual relationship or not, the last thing she wanted to know or believe was that Fin could be capable of rape, because at the end of the day he was her friend too, but once she'd seen the tox screen, it stopped being about that. The tox screen made it a whole different ball game. Because Fin was innocent, but she knew Olivia would need her all the more.
"Anyway," she added, bringing that point to the fore, "this isn't about me. This is about you." She sipped her coffee, looking at Olivia questioningly, "What do you need to know?"
The other woman looked at her, apparently still hesitant, then slowly started to speak, "You said you dealt with the rape kit?"
Melinda nodded, "Your vaginal swab was clear for seminal fluid, positive for spermicide." It was blunt and to the point, but she knew that was what Olivia had come to her for. Her squad would be sugarcoating things for her, but she obviously needed the cold hard facts.
"He used a condom." Olivia said, with enough relief in her voice for Melinda to assume that she hadn't been aware of that fact before. Again, Melinda nodded, "Yeah, but if you've not taken an emergency contraceptive, you still should, there were fluids on your clothes, and your underwear."
"Already done." Olivia confirmed. She took a deep breath and Melinda sensed she was building up to something so just gave her the space and time to do it. It took a while but eventually she got there. "Can you run another tox screen? Tell me that I'm clear of that crap?"
She sighed, knowing that she couldn't give Olivia the answer she needed to hear. "I can run a screen." She replied, "But I can tell you right now that it won't be clear. You're looking at a week at least before it comes anywhere close to that."
"A week?" There was no missing the horror in her response, "I can't be like this for a week. I…" she swallowed hard, obviously trying to get her emotions under control, "I'm all over the place. I'm up, I'm down. I want holding. I don't. I want to be alone. I want to be with people. I don't know if I'm coming or going. I can't have a week of this. I can't have a week of that bastard controlling me."
Melinda sipped her coffee, feeling sorry for her, but at the same time knowing there would have been little point in lying to her, especially since she wanted the tangible evidence that wouldn't have lied even if she had, "I know its hard Olivia, but you're just going to have to roll with it. But if it helps, it won't all be the drugs. You've been through a serious ordeal, that's going to affect you too, you know that. Give yourself a break eh?"
"A break. That's a joke." Olivia replied bitterly, "Melinda, is there," she paused, obviously struggling once again with what she was about to say. Melinda reached out and touched her arm gently,
"What is it?"
"The drugs in my system. Could they have -" she sighed, "unleashed, is that the right word? I don't know." She put her head in her hands, "I'm sorry, I'm not making much sense."
Melinda wondered whether she ought to leave her to find the question on her own, wondering if actually, she needed to ask it, needed to put it into words. But then, seeing what obvious turmoil she was in, and how stressful she was finding the situation, she stepped in to help her out.
"You want to know if the substances in your drink modified your behaviour based on needs you had that you didn't even know existed?"
Olivia nodded, "How did you know?"
"Lucky guess." She replied enigmatically, although actually, the truth was that she'd had the very same conversation with Elliot on the telephone the day before, but had the tact and discretion not to disclose that fact to Olivia. "Look," she said gently, "I found evidence of gamma-hydroxybutyric acid, and benzodiazepines in your blood work. Now they're like alcohol, but more potent, they're going to intoxicate you, they're going to lower your inhabitations, they're going to leave you with anterogade amnesia, which explains why you don't remember much, but that's it, ok? They're not the keys to the kingdom Olivia. They're not the keys to your psyche or to your sexual desires, quite the opposite in fact. And the more you convince yourself that they are, the worse you're going to feel, and I suspect you feel bad enough right now, without making it any worse for yourself."
Olivia said nothing at first, and then, slowly, hesitantly, she smiled. A weak smile but a smile all the same. "Thanks Melinda." She sipped her water and then looked at her curiously, "Is that what you told Elliot when he called you?"
"How did you know?" Melinda asked, surprised by the question, convinced she'd covered herself well when Olivia had asked before.
Olivia smiled again, "He's Elliot, I'm Olivia. How could I not know Melinda?"
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Once upon time, the idea of a little downtime might have been attractive to Fin. The life of a special victims detective was a frantic one, with very little time for sleep or relaxation and being on the job he'd often yearned for it. And yet, now he had it, given the circumstances, it just wasn't happening.
He put his muesli bowl to one side, it felt like it was choking him anyway, and reached for the phone, punching in the number for the squad room. It rang, persistently, and then eventually Munch answered. At least he thought it was Munch, although he appeared to be putting on a Chinese accent.
"'lo? Mr Wongs Chinese Takeaway, can I take your order?"
Fin grimaced. Clearly his partner was losing it under the pressure of the case. "Munch man, its Fin."
"Ah," the Chinese accent quickly disappeared, replaced with the more expectedly Munch like tones, "Fin. How are you?"
How was he? What kind of question was that? Given the circumstances he'd hardly be turning cartwheels. Taking that into consideration he ignored the question, refocusing it on Munch himself, "You?"
"Well, all things considered I'm surviving without you. My new partner is a sexy blonde piece, mind you, she's yet to work out how to use the coffee machine."
The 'new partner' threw him, incredulous that they'd have replaced him after such a short space of time - particularly since he was intending to go back. It was only when he heard Alex hollering a rude word at Munch down the receiver that the pieces fell into place. "Cabot's your new partner?"
"Yeah." Munch confirmed, "She's swapped the glamour of the court room for the glamour of staring at me all day."
"Lucky girl." Fin deadpanned. The humour might have felt misplaced with all that was going on, but actually, it was how they generally handled things in SVU, and he was just grateful to have someone to talk to, after the hours he'd spent in his apartment with only his own thoughts for company. "Does that explain Mr Wong?" He added, the pieces falling into place as he imagined just how well Cabot's unorthodox deferral to the squad would be going down with her superiors.
"You surmise correctly." Munch replied, "You're good at this. Have you ever considered a career as a detective?
"You're a funny guy Munch." Fin said, but he was through with the humour now. He wanted to get onto the actual point of his call. "I just wanted to know how things were. With Livvy. And the case."
"Ah." Munch fell oddly silent and unMunchlike. "Well. Olivia is AWOL. But don't worry…"
Fin felt like his head was going to explode. Munch had kept him on the phone for a good minute or so making wisecracks when Livvy was AWOL? Livvy. Vulnerable Livvy. Messed up Livvy. What the hell was he thinking? "Don't worry?" he snapped, "She could be anywhere. She could have had complications from the drugs, she could have had a seizure, or else she could have hurt herself. She could be in bath with a toaster somewhere…"
"You're not coming up with anything Stabler hasn't already." Munch said, cutting him off, "He's considered all of those and then some. But really, don't worry. He's got every cop in the city on alert looking for her. Not to mention every traffic cop, which considering how she drives means we'll have her back before elevenses."
It wasn't much of a comfort, but Fin knew no one looked after their own like the NYPD did, and also knowing Elliot like he did, there was no way Munch was exaggerating about the scope of the search for the girl. "Just let me know when she gets back." He said firmly. "Now, the case…"
Munch groaned, "Can't you ask me a question that might result in good news. Please?"
Fin's heart sank, "You've still got nothing."
"We've got a composite, but our friend at the bar is being particularly non helpful. I could have shown him a picture of Rudolph Giuliani and he'd have pled ignorance. Odd really. You'd think with a white man raping a black women he'd have been all the more happy to help."
"Donna Malone's rapist was white? The bastard who spiked Olivia was white?" Fin felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. This was it, this was the break they needed. It just needed the right man to see it. Not to mention handle it.
"White as 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue." Munch confirmed, "But the bar manager claims he's never seen him before."
Fin snorted. "Bullshit. Absolute BS." There was no doubt in his mind, the bar manager was lying his ass off. And benched or not, he was going to prove it.
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