Hello for the final time on this story. I really quite enjoyed writing it, and I hope you enjoyed reading it (despite the hell I put Ethan and Cal through). I must admit, I wasn't originally going to kill Ethan - I had a whole ending planned out where he survived and everyone lived happily ever after. But I scrapped it because sometimes you have to have a little sadness, and characters can't always survive. I sound mean. I'm sorry. Forgive me.
I hope you enjoy this chapter (I don't think enjoy is even the right word).
Drugged: Epilogue
Cal gently lit the flame and watched it. The orange dancing around the blue and yellow. The light breeze allowing it to perform in the dark. He used to light cigarettes, but since his brother's death, he stopped. Now - every month - he lights the flame to light the candle that sits in a glass lantern. The rusted metal frame still holds it together, and shelters the tea-light from the rain and snow and wind. It sits by the headstone of Ethan's grave, next to the bouquet of flowers that Cal buys every month.
But today was a different day. It was Ethan's birthday. Being 29 when he died, there had been 4 birthday's since and it was Ethan's 33rd Birthday. Cal still did everything he used to. Aside from the regular candle lighting he did (he had found a box full of tea-lights stuffed away in Ethan's bedroom) and the flowers he bought every month as well (he knew Ethan was particularly fond of those flowers, as their mother was), he did something else on his little brother's birthday.
Cal went to the local bakery and bought a cupcake. He would then stick a candle in it, place the cupcake down by Ethan's grave, and let the wind blow it out.
So now, he did his routine.
Cal watched the breeze extinguish the flame, and could almost imagine that Ethan was blowing it out. He let a few tears slip down his cheeks.
When Ethan died, Cal spent 6 months buying flowers every week and lighting a candle everyday, but that drained his funds significantly and he had to reduce it to every month. He made sure that he went to Ethan's grave on the 12th every month to lay out the flowers and light the candle.
Ethan died on the 12th June 2015, so the 12th of every month only seemed right. But whenever the 12th June came, Cal would go the the pub after the cemetery and have a drink in Ethan's name. He had cut down on drinking in the weeks after Ethan's passing. Considering after the funeral he nearly poisoned himself, it was only right. But Cal didn't do it for himself.
He stopped smoking and cut down on drinking and stopped sleeping around for Ethan. Because that's what Ethan would have wanted. He wanted Cal to find other means of coping, other means of having fun. He didn't want to watch Cal become their father... but he was never alive to see Cal change. He would never be proud of Cal.
Just like how Cal has the flat. 4 years on, all of Ethan's stuff is in the same place. The cupboards are still organised, the flat is kept clean.
Because Cal can't bear to live without him. If everything stays the same, it's like Ethan's still there.
Cal practically turned his life around for Ethan, because he needed to do Ethan proud. He couldn't save his brother, so this was the next best thing.
He was now a consultant, having past his FCEM second time. It was a good feeling, and he hoped Ethan would be proud of him. He imagined what Ethan would say over and over and over again.
Sometimes he would lie in bed awake, imagining Ethan sleeping next door. Imagining his dreams and what he would have done that day.
Cal was told that he would 'get over it' eventually. He almost wanted to 'get over' Ethan's death. But Cal learned something he never thought he would. You can never get over your brother's death. No matter how hard you run away, no matter how hard you distract yourself, you can never forget... never not feel sad... about the fact your little brother is never going to come back home, and you are going to live the rest of your life without him.
Cal felt more tears dampen his cheeks but didn't bother to wipe them away. He picked up the cupcake, took the candle out, and left it on a bench. He knew it would be gone. Eaten by morning. It always was.
He sadly glanced at the headstone, already knowing what it said.
Ethan Hardy
21 November 1976 - 12 June 2015
Cruelly taken from us too soon, but will always rest in our hearts. A loving brother and friend.
He wiped his eyes and placed the lighter back in his pocket, watching the light flicker but stay strong through the glass of the lantern. He swallowed hard in a vain attempt to rid the lump of emotion in his throat, before stuffing his hands into his pockets.
Cal turned around and started to walk off, only wishing he could have done more to save Ethan. Bonnie was long gone by now, and Cal was glad. But he would never forget what happened to his brother.
The only family he had left was snatched away. He still loved Ethan, and Cal held tightly onto the hope of an afterlife.
Because that way, he could see his mother and his brother again.
Thank you so much to Curious Rebel, Tanith Panic, Imagine-Hope123, CasualtyFanForever81, CharlieK, LittleBritishPerson, Becs2202, CBloom2, Teeloganroryflan, Victoria . Annxx, niamhmcshane22, sunsetstargazer, sweeet-as-honey, charliebear13, LillyMayFlower, Tato Potato, smish123, TheAtomicCheesepuff, Is-there-somewhere-x, beckyboogle, 20BlueRoses, EDSidekick, MissStilinskiHerondale, Gillian Kearney Fan, tracys dream, and the guests for reviewing, and thank you to everyone who favourited and followed. You all helped me to continue writing this, so thank you very much.
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