Author's Note: So sorry for posting late! waaaahhh! -bangs head on keyboard- i was too caught up in drawing for a day then on saturday we had friends over until 1 AM so I didn't have time to type up this chapter! we were too busy singing kareoke and playing battleship and ddr that i didn't have enough time! i apologize for the wait and hope that you can forgive my mindlessness... Dx
Chapter Fourteen: Cuts and Bruises
Mom told me the curfew was 11:00. The thing was that the party didn't end until midnight. For what felt like several hours, curfews didn't matter to me. In fact, a lot of things didn't matter to me for the remainder of the night. During that time in darkness, I didn't dare try to think straight.
I didn't hold back anymore like I constantly told myself. I let it all flow through my body. He was the more dominant; occasionally crushing our bodies together and sending me into euphoria the way he whispered nonsense in my ear.
By the time we finally slowed, I was able to become slightly clearer in the head. Why was it that neither Hayner nor Pence even bothered to come back for me? I figured they guessed I wouldn't be able to tolerate being in a mass for people while in a miniskirt. Or maybe they just forgot about me completely. Actually, I was glad they didn't come back. If they did, well, that would be the end of me.
I knew I was too young for this. But things were happening all too fast for me. Like I said before, I had to give up. Now I knew that this was who I really was. This was why I never really cared much for crushing on girls like Namine or Olette. Sure, I knew girls existed, but, that's really all they ever were: there.
We left in separate directions, acting as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. Hayner caught up with me just as I stepped out into the front lawn. When he asked about my messy hair, I just told him I was bored in the closet and fell asleep. He didn't have to know. No body had to know...but strangely, everyone knew.
xxXXxx
"Roxas."
He was there again...standing so far away with that same spark in his eye. It was like being trapped in a place of painless death the way the walls appeared to emit a white light. Nothing but absolute silence. Why are you looking at me like that? The words were so distant...just like him.
"Why are you thinking of me?"
I could barely recognize his face without that smirk drawn on his lips. I could see his body with the black standing out against the light. You're different.
"Is that why?"
Maybe...why do you have to do this to me?
"It's just how destiny works out, right?"
Destiny?
"Don't tell me that destiny scares you too."
Maybe it does...maybe it always has. Still, there's nothing I or anybody can do to change it.
"You know, you're different, too, Roxas."
I don't even know Roxas now...I keep thinking I do, but...
"You'll find him."
When this nightmare is over, then I'll find him...hopefully.
"Well, you're not afraid now, are you?"
I...no.
"You've just been telling yourself this was all a bad dream. None of it was and none of it is."
None of it is?
"You'll see. When you take the time to think about it, you'll figure it out."
"Roxas, it's late, get up!"
Gradually, the white began to fade along with the voices and people. In a way, I wished it wouldn't. The minute my eyes met with the ceiling above me, I thought that maybe the school year hadn't even started yet. It was like the day before summer ended when mom woke me up with her usual hot-headed voice. A dream...it was only a dream...even though it felt so real.
"This is what happens when the two of you come home past curfew."
I shifted on my bed and turned to see mom standing in my doorway again. Normally, I would have smiled. Instead, I had to just look at her with nothing to say.
"Go and wake up your brother, Roxas," She said before strolling back down the hallway. It was a Saturday and still we had to wake up on a schedule.
Sora and I didn't meet up until after the party just as I approached the front door. Like me, he seemed tired yet shaken at the same time. Even when we in the house, he said nothing and just stared at his feet. I wanted to ask him but he shut his door in my face.
"Sora," I said while knocking on his door, "Sora, mom wants you up, now."
With a groan, I fiddled around with the doorknob until I heard a faint click. Sora's door was always busted. Even when he locked it, with a few turns, it would pop open. I pushed the door open and peered around the door to see him sitting up on the edge of his bed while rubbing his head.
"Something bugging you?" I asked while walking over to his bed. Unlike my room, his was a bit cleaner. He just had this habit of leaving dirty clothes in a pile on the floor before washing them at the end of the week.
He shook his head and sighed. "No."
"Something from the party?"
"No," He grumbled and stood up. I knew he was lying even so. But I figured that if I insisted that he would bite my head off so I just let him storm out like he wanted.
I shook my head and followed him. "Sure...you'll tell me, I know it."
xxXXxx
Like most of our weekends, they had to be wasted on shopping. Mom insisted that we buy knew t-shirts and shoes for the winter. What was weird was that when we passed the video game aisle, Sora turned away. After taking a few seconds to stare down at the racks of video games, I came up with the idea that he was having some sort of fight with Riku. Riku was casually walking in our direction with his hands shoved in his pockets but he began to turn away when his eyes shot towards us.
Was everyone becoming depressed or what?
On Sunday, Hayner planned a get together for the four of us to head over to the station tower just to hangout. Olette didn't go because she needed to work on her paper article. From what she told us, she was able to gather more rumors about the drugs and about the scene in the back alley. I worried about her sometimes, thinking that she was snooping around a bit too much. Pence said it wasn't like she was going to get killed because of her writing.
Yeah, that made me feel a whole lot better.
Monday eventually came around...
"Doesn't Sora usually walk to school with you in the morning, Roxas?" Pence asked that morning while we kept a distance behind Sora.
I blinked and turned my head to face him. "What're you going on about?"
He shrugged. "I dunno. I just have this feeling that you guys are avoiding each other or something."
I scoffed and concentrated on walking. "Quit thinking things like that. He's just in a bad mood is all."
"What ever you say..." He replied as we entered the hallway. All at once, students began shoving this way and that while hissing cusses at one another. Maybe the drinks at the party were messing with everyone's head.
"Did you see the front page?"
"It's all over!"
"Wait, that's not...holy..."
"Wonder what's gotten into these people?" Pence hastily dodged a few students rushing in our walkway and nearly stumbled over when he bumped into someone's back. I tried to follow directly behind him but the mix of similar uniforms was overwhelming. Not only the uniforms, but the few sheets of grey newspaper in everyone's hand failed to help me distinguish so-and-so from what's-his-name. Wait, newspaper? This was new.
Suddenly interested in what was occurring, I joined in on the shoving and made an effort to see what was ahead of me. Pence was already lost and I assumed that he already figured out what was going on which got me frustrated.
"Wait a sec, that's him, isn't it?"
"Yeah...hey, Roxas! Roxas!"
"It's not real, right? It's fake picture?"
I froze at the mentioning of a picture. But why ask me? This didn't have to do with me...
"What picture?" I asked an older student I never met before.
He said nothing and hesitantly walked away with his friends crowding nervously around him. Like everyone else, they each held dirty newsprint in their hands. Sadly, I couldn't catch a glimpse of the front page from what seemed to capture everyone's attention.
"What picture?" I repeated to myself and broke into a run.
Finally, I reached what looked like the place where the papers were being taken from. Each of the students was gossiping amongst themselves rather noisily...that is, until I showed my face in the mob. I ignored the sudden drop in volume and took advantage of the path made for me. Something was definitely up and I didn't like the feel of it.
"Ah! Roxas!" A quivered voice spoke up from in front of me.
"Vivi?" I asked, staring as he pulled his mage's hat tightly over his amber eyes. He was standing in front of the bulletin board where the latest news was posted with a stack of newspapers beside him. I eyed the papers suspiciously.
"R-Roxas...uhm, uh...oh no..."
"Vivi, what's going on here?" I asked sternly to which he twitched violently.
"Just...I'm...oh! It wasn't my idea!" Feebly, he threw himself on the floor and went on shivering.
"Idea?" I asked slowly.
"Y-yeah...Seifer made me do it! I had to! I just had to!"
"Seifer? What did...?" Again, I brought my eyes to the stack of papers but this time I wasn't so sure I wanted to take one. I could hear scattered voices around me and caught my name mentioned in every sentence.
"It's...here..." Like a lost puppy, Vivi stared up at me through smooth eyes and offered a paper to my waiting hands. After taking in a deep breath, I brought it to eye level to read...my heart skipped a beat right then and there.
This week's top story: What you DIDN'T know about Saturday night: top pic features...
There, being held right before me was the so called 'fake picture'. Of course, I knew it wasn't fake. But how...? The photo was stripped of color and a majority of it was shrouded in darkness. But, near the dead center was the slightest bit of light.
Standing in the spotlight was Axel's darkened body just as he opened the closet door wide open. I could be seen standing behind him with my back pressed against the wall and with my skirt zipper unfastened. The very expression on my face gave the impression that something went on. The expression on my face now was probably giving everyone the impression that this was real.
"Wha...how...what is...?"
"Seifer made me take the picture! He threatened to hit me if I didn't!' Vivi whimpered, throwing himself on the floor again.
I gaped at him, petrified and stone still. My blood went cold and my voice fell silent. Everything...everything that happened was now exploited for people to see. I wouldn't be surprised if Seifer had them posted all around town by now. If I lied about it never happening, I knew no one would believe me. It was too late to try and cover myself up. Ok, it was real. That's all I had to say. Then, I'd let people laugh...then I'd probably take the next train to Hallow Bastion. Why did I have to meet you? Why did I have to love you, Axel?
"Break it up, people! Go on! Get the heck outta here and go to class for god's sake! GO! Geez, this is a school not a crime scene!"
"Hayner...?" I whispered though nobody could hear me. They had all began speaking again...about me, that was for sure. Vivi tiptoed away to join them before waddling off out of sight.
"Roxas...Roxas, you ok, man?" Hayner placed a hand on my shoulder and shook me a couple of times.
"I..."
"Don't let it get to your head, Roxas," He said boldly, "Don't listen to what those posers have to say."
"I wish I could..." I said in a low voice. He ignored it and pushed me down the hall toward History class, repeatedly throwing nasty glares at those who stared at me. I knew this was it...I just wanted to die. I wondered how Axel was taking this...
xxXXxx
"Alright, class, take out whatever you jot down notes and...oh! Roxas!"
"Sorry I'm late...again, Mrs. Lockhart," I said tonelessly without looking up at her. She doubtlessly knew about the paper too. Hayner patted my shoulder and sat me down in an empty seat right beside him.
"Thank you for finding him, Hayner."
"No, problem."
"Well, Roxas just take out your notes and follow along, ok?" She said sweetly and turned towards the board with chalk in hand. Obviously she wouldn't mention anything about it now. Maybe she never would. All I knew was that my reputation around here was shattered.
I knew people were throwing some glances at me. I just let them. I wasn't in the mood to pick a fight right now. Axel seemed that way too. In his typical seat by the window, he sat unmoving, not even bothering to pay attention to the class. For once, Zexion didn't take interest in the session and instead kept a close watch on Axel and me.
"Oh, right!" Mrs. Lockhart's sudden shout out caused all of us to nearly jump from our seats. She gently placed the stub of chalk in the metal holder and turned toward her desk. "I've got those tests you all took the other day right here."
She pulled several sheets of paper from a folder and began walking up and down the rows, passing them out left and right. I wasn't surprised that I had received a C-. For one thing, I didn't take notes and for another, I rarely paid attention to what was taught. At least it was better than an F. I folded it over and turned to Hayner who slammed his head on his desk after getting his usual D.
''
Axel nervously stared at his paper from what I could see just as Hayner slumped forward. I could just barely make out a black 'D-' that seeped through to the back of the paper. A D- wasn't so bad...but why was it that he looked so disturbed? I was concerned again...the way his fingers trailed over to his right wrist brought a painful image to mind. That couldn't be true...
xxXXxx
"A 'D-'..."
"It's...not that bad, is it?" I said, trying to sound assuring.
"For me it is..." Axel stared at the paper in his hand and quickly averted his eyes. I watched him stuff it messily into the back pocket of his messenger bag before sighing.
I had this feeling that I should steer away from the test. But even if I wanted to talk about the newspaper, he most likely would want to keep away from that conversation too. When school got out, I had been walking by myself before he caught up with me when the crowds started to die down. I figured it was because he didn't want any rumors of us walking together to spread.
I stared down at my new school shoes and bit the inside of my cheek, not knowing what to say.
"You're not...mad...are you?" He suddenly brought up.
"Huh? About what?" I replied.
He paused to think and finally started again. "About the thing. You know, the picture."
"Oh...that thing. Well, at Seifer, yeah."
"Not at me?"
"Axel..."
"Just tell me!" He demanded. He wasn't harsh at least.
I recalled what Demyx had said about his fear of people getting mad. I pictured it as sort of a phobia and immediately went soft. "No, not you." I replied and stared up as the sun was beginning to set just ahead of us.
I rarely walked this way to get home...I actually thought about coming this way more often. The houses seemed smaller on this street but at least it was calmer than my own neighborhood. Up ahead, a narrow street ran up a hill to where I could barely catch sight of the tip of the station tower. I smiled weakly and turned to face Axel who still looked wrapped up about his grade.
"I should probably think about moving to this street sometime."
He pulled his head up and looked at me with widened eyes. "Why here? Your place is way bigger than these houses."
"So? At least it's more peaceful around here. You should feel pretty lucky."
He smiled back at me and came to slow stop in front of a one story house to his right. Like mine, it was a light cream color with an orange tinted roof. A low, black, metal fence wrapped around the front lawn that was currently lacking in green. The windows were covered with paper blinds from the inside and, just beside the doormat was a case full of green, empty beer bottles.
"Your place?" I asked, still staring up at the house.
He didn't answer and clutched onto his book bag. His smiled disappeared and was replaced with a troubled expression. The way his eyes scanned the ground gave me this feeling that he was at a loss of what to do.
"Uhm, Axel? Are you ok?" I asked gently.
"It's fine...I-I'll see you tomorrow, 'kay?" Without another word, he turned on his heel and made way through the squeaky gate and up to the door. It seemed to take him a while before he was able to grasp the door handle and slip inside.
"Don't worry about it..." I said to myself and began to walk down the cooled street. Even though I said it, I still thought about it. Something was wrong...not everything happened on Fridays.
xxXXxx
"Hey, Roxas!" Demyx called out to me the next morning.
I finished my yawn and faced him just as he leaned over a desk beside me to catch his breath. "Morning, Demyx," I said.
"Did...did A-Axel...come here with you...?" He panted.
I laid my pencil down on the desk and replied, "No...why?"
While he continued to gasp for air, I became skeptical and scanned the desks for Axel. One empty desk was in the center of the room. He was probably just late...that didn't sound right. He was always early for school.
Demyx pulled up from the desk and stared up at the ceiling. "Oh, man..." He whispered to himself.
"Huh? Demyx? What...?"
"Morning, class!"
Mrs. Strife cheerfully stepped into the room and carefully shut the door behind her. Like always, she wore her doctor's coat over another one of her flowing hippie skirts. Her hair was pulled back in a braided pony tail while a pair of thin glasses was atop her nose. My classmates often made jokes that the reason she was late was because she was busy kissing our basketball coach.
Demyx clumsily sat behind the desk beside me and began bouncing his leg uneasily.
"Right," Mrs. Strife began, "let's start role call..." She flipped to the back sheet on her clipboard and clicked her pen open. "Okay...Axel?"
Nothing.
"Oh, that's peculiar...he's not here." She blinked in surprise and marked something on her paper. Being his counselor, she was probably just as worried as Demyx and his other friends seemed to be.
With role call over, Mrs. Strife turned toward the board and began jotting down today's lesson. I noticed Marluxia tap Demyx on the shoulder and kept my ears open for any tidbit of what he was whispering but to no avail. Demyx nodded and shot his hand up while I caught his other reaching for something in his backpack.
"Uh, Mrs. Strife?" He asked amiably.
"Hmm? Yes, Demyx?" She returned while stopping her writing.
"I...I'm not feeling all too great."
"Oh? Do you need to head over to the office for something? The other nurse can help you if you need it."
He nodded and quickly pulled what looked like a cell phone from the backpacks side pocket. "Maybe I can call my parents from there?"
"Alright. Just have them write down a note to let me know you were there, ok?"
"Got it." Swiftly, he slipped out from behind the desk and shoved the phone into his pocket and out of sight. Marluxia and Zexion eagerly watched him exit the room while I did the same. I just had to be so curious...but I had to know. With a deep breath, I steadily raised my hand.
"Mrs. Strife?"
"Yes, Roxas?" She replied, turning away from her work again.
"Uhm...can I go to the bathroom?" I said quickly, not wanting to steal the pretend act of being sick.
"Be quick, ok? This lesson is important."
"Yes, ma'am." I stood and began walking through my row. As I passed Zexion, I heard, 'in the bathroom', being whispered and I nodded. Zexion knew what I was feeling. He was almost like a parent figure to their group and I respected him for that.
Quietly, I shut the door behind me and shifted my eyes around to make sure no one was around to see me. Assured that everything was clear, I ran toward the bathroom where Zexion told me to go.
Demyx's hushed voice could be heard from behind the wall when I pressed my ear against the bathroom door. I kept my breathing down to a minimum to avoid being caught eavesdropping. He sounded desperate and I could hear his shoes scuffing around on the tile.
"Axel, it's me. I had to sneak out of class just to call you up and check if you were ok. Uhm...Marx and Zexion are back in the room waiting on you. Just call back or pick up the phone, ok? We're all on pins and needles over here, man. Call back..."
He groaned and shut the phone. "No...he's not answering..." There was a short pause before the phone flipped open again and I heard him punch in the number again.
While he left another message, I stared up at the ceiling in disbelief. I didn't want to skip to conclusions but my heart just wouldn't let me stop feeling like this. So this wasn't a nightmare? That was too hard to believe.
Where are you Axel?
Erm, yes, well, ehehe...another bad place to leave off. ;.; i'm very tired at the moment so i'm afraid i have to leave you with this. well, an advanced warning for readers, this friday, being august 4, i will be visiting the great king mickey in his proud kingdom. yes, i will be in his happiest place on earth for about a week and, during that time, i will not be able to post updates so this story will be on temp hiatus for about a week. i'm so sorry! but, this writer really needs a vacation to visit the relatives of kingdom hearts characters:( i hope you can understand! again, this will start on friday, august 4 so i will still update until that date.
anywho, 10 more reviews please! thank you and i appreciate those of you that have reviewed! i'll be sure to find a way to thank you soon enough!
axel luv,
kokoro77 :D