A/N: Thanks for sticking with the story. We're getting to the good stuff now. Please note: Marc Piper Band is completely made up, but in Bella's world they are pretty popular right now.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TWIKE! You are the best beta in the world, and everyone gets this chapter a day early as a gift from her. This chapter is dedicated to her :)
Thanks to profmom, Daisy, and LTR for help on this chapter.
Characters are not mine.
Controlled Burn Chapter 14
Flame
Caroline's was a cute little Italian diner within walking distance of my house. I grabbed my keys and my purse, and Edward held the door for me and then waited while I locked it behind us. He didn't mention what he'd seen on my computer, and I wasn't about to bring it up. We started down the sidewalk, and Edward walked so close to me that our shoulders were practically touching. It was still light outside, but the sun began to make its way behind the trees. There was a light breeze, and the leaves were just beginning to change to fall colors. Everything about the evening was perfect. Everything except the butterflies I had in my stomach. Edward seemed a little nervous too. The silence between us seemed to drag on too long.
"I'm sorry about leaving like I did back in Seattle. I tried to work up the courage to wake you up and talk to you, but I was afraid if you asked me not to go, I would end up staying," Edward finally spoke first.
Huh?
"Oh, well I was sad that you left without saying goodbye. Alice freaked out enough for all of us though."
"I can imagine," he sighed.
"Why did you do it? Why did you leave?" I asked.
"It wasn't a rash decision. There were things I needed to figure out, and I had to do it away from my family. I wanted to talk to you, I really did, but in the end I thought it would be best to do it here. Plus I have a deadline next week that I needed to work toward, and I'd been thinking a trip could help me find inspiration. I've been stuck lately. I wasn't planning to leave that soon. I just woke up Sunday morning and needed to go then. I needed time away from my family to clear my head. It seemed like something I had to do."
"Can I ask what kind of deadline?"
"You can ask me anything, Bella." He reached over and took my hand in his. My heart started racing. What was happening here?!?! Was this really happening? "If it's okay with you though, I'd like to show you what I'm working on after we get done eating."
"Sure." My voice cracked a little bit. I better put myself on another talking restriction.
We got to the restaurant, and of course, the cute young blonde, slutty, whorish tramp of a hostess was checking Edward out. This wouldn't have been a problem if I hadn't offered my facilities to him. Bad move.
I stepped in front of Edward and told her how many. She showed us to a table. It was a small place, and they boasted authentic food, though I'm pretty sure the owner was from Wisconsin judging by her accent. The first few times she asked me if I wanted a "to-go beg," I thought she wanted me to beg for my leftovers. We sat down in a booth, and she told Edward the specials. He didn't seem to notice; he was too busy staring at me. Take that, skank.
"I talked to my grandma. She told me you called her," Edward said.
"I did. She promised to help me. Thank you for the push. I'm really glad I called her."
"So am I." An awkward silence followed, and I wondered if he was as uncomfortable as I was. Every once in a while I would glance up at him and catch him looking at me. He would look away. I was starting to pray our food would come soon so we'd have something else to focus on.
"So where have you been? I mean what have you been doing for the past few weeks?" I finally asked.
"I went through Montana, but it was already getting cold there so I made my down through Wyoming and Colorado. I stayed on a ranch of one of Jasper's old friends for a few days. That was fun. I like that kind of outdoorsy country life. I stopped in Tennessee to meet with some people I'm working with, and then I went up to Virginia to learn to sail. After that I came here to see you."
The waitress picked that moment to bring our food, and it was a good thing, because I was sure my face had turned bright red. He said he came here to see me. To see me! Like he wasn't just stopping by or calling the one person he knew in town. He was here to see me. What the heck did that mean?
"So, Alice said they raised a lot of money at the gala. More than they expected even," I said as I started stuffing my face with Ravioli. When I get nervous I eat. I was sure to have to go on a diet if I spent too much time with Edward.
"Bella, can you do me a favor?" he asked. I would do anything he wanted.
"Sure."
"Can we not talk about Alice? I want to be with you and not my family tonight."
His words and the ravioli went down the wrong pipe, and I started coughing. I picked up my napkin and started fanning myself. Edward leaned back in the booth and laughed at me. He obviously knew exactly what he was doing to me, and if he thought he could just stop by here for some type of booty call during his road trip, he was wrong. Well, he was possibly right, but I wasn't going to be THAT easy.
"Am I making you uncomfortable?" he asked.
"Um, no. Not exactly. Well yes. I just, I don't know." I buried my head in my hands in front of me.
"Please, Bella, don't hide from me." He reached across the table and grabbed my wrist pulling it away from my face. "We'll figure everything out."
"Okay," I sighed. He held his hand out across the table offering it to me. I felt like he was offering me more than his hand, but I wasn't sure how to define it. Maybe he was asking for an admission of my feelings for him. I reached out slowly and took it. He started rubbing it with his thumb, and I sighed. I was pretty sure I would be waking up any second, so I might as well enjoy the dream.
"Can I ask you a question?" He asked.
"Uh huh," I mumbled in a daze.
"Who is Mike, really?"
Crap.
"I'm not sure how to explain it," I said and took my hand back.
"Please try."
"Mike and I have been dating for about a year. He had been asking me out for a long time, and I kept telling him no, but he was persistent. I went on a lot of first dates that never turned into second dates. I was tired of it all, and I decided that if I started dating Mike, everyone would leave me alone about putting myself out there."
"Do you love him?" Edward asked without meeting my eyes.
"No. I don't. I promise I don't. I…I've been planning to end things. I'm just scared."
"Scared of what?"
"Being alone, disappointing my mom, not having a date to the company Christmas party, being a spinster, the toilet overflowing. You know the regular stuff," I shrugged.
Edward looked at me like I was crazy, but I was used to people looking at me like that.
He took a deep breath, and said, "You don't have to be alone."
I sat there, unsure of what to say next. The only thing I could come up with was, "Neither do you."
Edward cocked his head to the side, and smiled at me contentedly. I smiled back. I have no idea what just happened, but I was pretty sure it was a good thing. I was growing pretty confident in the fact that this was a date, and as I played his blogs over and over in my mind, I started to hope. We talked for a long time. I loved the way Edward seemed to open to me, and I had a feeling he didn't do that with many people. We talked about the people he met, and I laughed too loud at his stories, but he didn't seem to mind. I was surprised by how naturally things started to flow. I stopped feeling awkward and started to feel at home in our interactions.
We walked back to my house hand in hand, and it was dusk by the time we got there.
"I should be going," Edward said. "The campground has a curfew, and I need to get my tent set back up before it's too late." I considered asking if he'd like to sleep in my bed, but I decided I didn't want him to think I was too slutty.
"You promised to show me what you're working on," I whined. Edward chuckled.
"Can we sit on your porch? I need to get my guitar."
I nodded and sat down on one of the steps. Edward opened the passenger door to his truck and pulled out his guitar. He set it down on the ground in front of me and pulled the instrument out of the case. He started digging through a folder and pulled out a crumpled piece of sheet music. It had tape going down the middle, and a yellow stain on it. He sat next to me and set the music on the porch between us.
"I've wanted to play this for you…for a while," he smiled as his fingers started moving over the strings and then started singing. He had the music but never looked at it. His eyes were fixed on me. I died.
to see to know the
adventure has only begun through the fields and the forest
we'll run from wonder to wonder just when you think you're lost again the adventure has only
begun
to touch
to be
with
you
to trust
to understand
with you
chase the clouds until we see the sun...one by
one.
i'll travel and discover with
you
to have and to hold
if its hot
or if its cold
with
you
i can be coming
through
i will be coming
for you.
through the fields and the forest we run
chase the clouds
till we see the sun
one by one
one by one.
I was in awe. The way his lips moved when he sang, the way he would glance up and look in my eyes as he sang, it was like the song was meant for me. Goose bumps erupted all over my body, and I felt dizzy.
"I know it's not that great, but I wrote it when I was a kid," he said after he strummed the last few notes on the guitar.
"You just sang a song to me. Don't say it's not that great. Everything about today has been that great," I sighed and put my head on his shoulder. Stuff like this didn't happen to me. Men did not sing songs to me or drive across the country to see me. Guys like Edward did not look at me like he had been looking at me. This was someone else's life, and I was enjoying every second of it.
Edward reached down into his guitar case again and pulled out a CD. He pulled the booklet out of the jacket, opened it and held it out to me. I moved my body so I could read under the porch light. "What exactly am I supposed to be looking at?"
Edward put his guitar down beside him, scooted closer to me, put one arm around me, and with his other hand pointed to a specific spot on the page.
Lyrics by E. A. Cullen.
I flipped the booklet over, and my mouth fell open. "Edward this is a Marc Piper Band CD. You wrote lyrics for Marc Piper Band?"
"Yeah, they are scheduled to begin recording again in November, and I have a contract for more songs. The publisher I work with is pushing me for ten songs so he can offer some to other artists' agents too. I need to have them done by the end of next month."
"But, why are you selling them? Why don't you record them yourself?" I asked softly still in awe of what I was looking at.
"I don't want to be a recording artist. I like the creative process, but I don't need to be famous. If I can make a living writing music, I would be living my dream."
"I don't understand. Why don't you want anyone to know?" I frowned. This was amazing. This was spectacular. I was sure his family would be proud of him.
"A couple of years ago I got offered a recording contract. I was in school at the time, and no one in my family wanted me to sign. I'm glad now I didn't do it, but I just don't think they take my music seriously, and this means too much to me to have them squash it again."
"Oh, no, they can't. They couldn't. You're gifted Edward. This is who you are."
"I can't tell you how it makes me feel to hear you say things like that, Bella." Edward looked at me in a way that made my insides turn to mush. If I didn't distract myself I was going to pass out.
I studied the CD cover again. "Wow. Just wow. This is so amazing, Edward. I'm so proud of you. I can't believe this. I mean I can believe this; you are an amazing artist. I just had not idea. I'm so glad you have the opportunity to do something you're good at. I mean you could do anything I'm sure. You're intelligent. I just, I'm so, wow. Just wow, I can't believe your name is right there." I rubbed my finger over it appreciatively.
"Bella?"
"Hmm?"
"Can you stop talking now?" As soon as the words left his mouth, he reached up, moved my face towards him, and kissed me. It lasted longer than our first kiss, and I was more convinced than ever that I was dreaming. The way his mouth fit perfectly with mine, the feeling of it being too much and not enough, and the realization that this was exactly where I was supposed to be consumed me. I got lost in him as his lips moved against mine. He was perfect and sweet, not demanding or needy. I felt his affection for me in the kiss, and I tried to let him know that I felt the same. We sat on the porch kissing, and I couldn't tell if seconds or hours had passed.
He released my lips and kissed me two more times quickly and then kissed me once on my forehead. "I've wanted to do that for a very long time," he breathed still holding my face with his hands.
I tried to talk, but I couldn't. Edward had finally found what my parents and plenty of other people had tried to find since I was a small child – the cure to my word vomit. One kiss from him, and I couldn't talk if I'd wanted to. I was speechless.
"I should go," he said. "When can I see you again?"
"Tomorrow." It wasn't a question.
He put his things away and stood up. He reached out a hand to help me up, and I took it.
"Let me walk you to the door," he said.
After I'd unlocked it with my free hand, he tried to let my other one go, but I didn't want to. I kept holding on.
"Bella, I need to go," he chuckled.
"Okay," I sighed. "Promise you'll come back."
"I promise." He leaned down and kissed me again while he reached behind me and opened my door. "Lock the door behind you. I want to make sure you're safe."
I nodded and smiled, but I knew that right now I was anything but safe.
I wandered into my house in a daze. I kept reaching up to touch my lips to see if they were still attached to my face. I switched on the light and remembered the laptop. Edward had seen. He must have seen. What was he typing? Surely he hadn't… I sat down at the table and opened it up. He had.
9.24.09
Come hell or high water, she'll know. When I kiss her tonight, she'll know.
He typed that sitting right here. I was positive. I rubbed my lips again. He was talking about kissing me. He knew I would read this. Edward Cullen wanted me. I started to let myself believe it.
When I woke up at seven the next morning, I sat up with a start. Did that really happen? Did I really make out with Edward freaking Cullen on my front porch and did he really say all those sweet things to me and sing me a song and tell me he would come back today?
I screamed and buried my face in my pillow on my lap. This was crazy! This would never work! He was Alice's brother! He was practically a kid! AAHHHH!
I needed to distract myself or I was going to go crazy. I grabbed the remote form my side table, and switched on the TV. Maybe the E Weekend News was on. Nothing like images of Johnny Depp to put me at ease. Instead I was met by an image of Ashton Kutcher walking down a red carpet with Demi Moore. See the age thing wasn't that creepy. The show ended and another one started.
"E True Hollywood Story presents, Mary Kay Laterno. Was it wrong for her to fall for someone half her age, or was it really love?"
Oh no. That was not what I needed to see right now. Maybe a nice Turner Classic would do the trick.
Harold and Maude. Crap.
I switched it to another channel and Diane Keaton was kissing Keanu Reaves. Sick!
I shut off the TV and threw the remote across the room.
It must be a sign from God or Buddah or someone. It just wasn't normal to date someone that much younger. I wanted to be the kind of person that didn't care what anyone else thought, but if I were being honest, I did care. I didn't want to be the butt of a million jokes or looked down on like I was some sort of cradle robber. Alice would probably have a heart attack and die if I told her I kissed her brother. Well technically he kissed me, but I doubted she'd want to hear all the gory details.
I needed to be responsible about this. I needed to be an adult and do the right thing. When Edward got here, I would tell him that I cared for him, but that it would never work out for us. I would thank him for the wonderful night last night and tell him to go home and see his family.
I would tell Alice that he'd been in town and that I'd convinced him to go back to Seattle. I would be her hero. It would be hard, but in my heart I knew it was right thing to do.
I lay in bed focusing all of my resolve on what was before me, when I heard the doorbell ring. Oh no! I was still in my pajama pants and a t-shirt. I looked out the front window, and I saw Edward's truck in the driveway. Fine. It didn't matter anyway. It would probably help if I looked like a freak who just got out of bed. I walked into the living room, swung open the door, and was about to give my speech, when I froze. I was greeted by a smiling Edward wearing the same thing he'd had on last night, holding a coffee carrier in one hand and a bouquet of pink daisies in the other.
"You're so beautiful," he said in the sweetest voice ever.
All my plans went flying out the window as I sprang toward him, wrapped my arms around his neck, and this time I definitely kissed him.
A/N: If you don't like the bribes, just ask me not to send it to you when you review anyway. There is an EPOV outtake of this chapter for those who review. You don't need to read it to understand the story. I'm not withholding it from you if you don't review. It's just a nice little bonus for you if you do.
If you want to read a heart warmer, LiketoRead22 has a one shot she wrote for the Indies First Time Writer Challenge called Sand and Water. It's good. Vote for it. Find it under my favorites, and when you review it, beg her to write a comedy. She wrote a crackfic once that made me pee my pants.
Also, InsaneGrizzlies has a good AU story called Pixie Dust. I still think she might be an internet predator, but at least she can write. Ha ha.
I'm also loving Facebook Friends by GreenPuma. It makes me smile and feel all warm and fuzzy.