A/N: I have returned once again with a new chapter for all. Since the last time I posted I've discovered that writing a screenplay is not nearly as easy as one might think. Oh, and I also met Oprah. That's a story for another time though. I would once again like to thank NastElilbuggr for acting as my beta. I'm not sure how she does it (I suspect some form of witchcraft), but every time I send her a chapter, without fail, it comes back to me like ten times better than what I originally had. I don't think this story would be nearly as good without her. You've waited long enough though, so without further ado –
The Vote
Shelby watched Rachel walk off the stage and kept her face impassive. She'd been surprised by her daughter's emotionally dissonant choice of songs, but it had been an impressive showing none the less. After seeing the girl perform at Sectionals and noting some of her weaknesses, it was a real surprise to see how emotionally invested she was in her first song. It was hard to believe that Rachel had improved so much since Shelby had last seen her on stage, but she wasn't just mimicking performers that she admired this time. She had actually seemed to pour some of herself into the song. In fact, she'd been almost too emotionally invested in it.
Shelby thought back to the unguarded look she'd seen on Rachel's face just before she'd called the meeting to order. When the girl turned and caught Shelby staring she'd tried to hide it, but for someone as experienced at reading expressions as Shelby, Rachel's insecurities had been written on her face clear as day. Was she having doubts already? Regretting her decision to come here? It had given Shelby an uncomfortable twisting feeling in her gut to see Rachel duck her head to try to hide whatever it was she was feeling. She'd been so confident and happy when Shelby last saw her. What could have possibly happened to change things? She watched the young singer visibly try to pull herself together.
When the girl raised her eyes again, Shelby knew that her own guard must have slipped just a bit. She wanted to offer her daughter some sort of comfort, but this was neither the time nor place to allow her concern for Rachel to show. Sending her the slightest nod of encouragement, Shelby had done her best to focus her attention on the students in front of her.
She could tell that the girl's anxiety still lingered when she stepped onstage, but it wasn't until she trailed off mid-introduction that Shelby knew that something was terribly wrong. Rachel was painfully awkward up there, her big brown eyes impossibly wide under the harsh glare of the spotlight. Shelby heard her students begin to laugh and heckle and had to force herself to maintain her composure. She wanted to call the whole thing off then and there, but it wasn't her place to make that choice for Rachel. So instead she settled on commanding her students to be quiet in her most intimidating voice, and silently hoped that her daughter would snap out of it.
It had been a relief to see her do just that, going through her introduction without any further hesitation, and then throwing herself into "Heaven Help My Heart". What Rachel lacked in true understanding and depth she made up for with raw emotion. A heartrending sadness emanated from her throughout the performance, making Shelby feel equal parts protective of her daughter and guilty about not knowing what might have caused her such turmoil.
Her brain kept circling back to the idea that she might have had something to do with it, but Shelby refused to consider the thought for long.
As Rachel reached the bottom of the stairs off the stage she paused and looked towards Jesse for a few long seconds. When the boy began to rise from his seat, instead of going towards him like Shelby expected, Rachel turned in the opposite direction and headed straight for the door as though she couldn't get away fast enough. That's when it clicked in Shelby's mind that the song had been directed at him. Rachel had been singing to Jesse at the beginning, but Shelby thought that she was just drawing comfort from her boyfriend after her rough start.
Suddenly it all made sense; the uncertainty, the song choice, the angst filled performance, the way Rachel appeared to be running away from him. Shelby felt a mix of relief and irritation. "St. James, sit down," she snapped.
Rachel was clearly in no mood to talk to him right now. Jesse turned to her in surprise and shot her a pleading look. "But…"
Shelby felt no sympathy for him as she replayed the performance in her head, and felt the pain in her daughter's voice even more acutely than she had the first time. "Now."
He looked towards the door longingly for a second and Shelby heard it thump close. Jesse sent a sour look towards Julia – though what she had to do with it Shelby had no idea – before sullenly walking back over to his seat. It was all Shelby could do to stop herself from rolling her eyes at the way he was pouting like a child who'd just had his favorite action figure taken away.
She walked back to the front of the auditorium and did her best to marshal her thoughts back into some semblance of order. There really wasn't much left for her to do in this process. She would pick a student to tally up the vote and act as discussion moderator, and then she would leave the room. She'd figured out a long time ago that the team worked much more cohesively when they got to express their opinions about potential members, and in an attempt to prevent her own opinions from unduly influencing her students Shelby had made a point of letting them do it without her. She was mentally kicking herself for that decision now. There was nothing she could do about it though. That was probably for the best anyway. She wanted her students to accept Rachel of their own free will so that they wouldn't be able to say she was the reason the young singer got on the team.
Her mind focused on Rachel, wondering if the girl would go straight home now that her audition was over. As far as she knew Rachel had no reason to stick around on campus, she certainly didn't look like she would be waiting around for Jesse. Shelby felt a surge of disappointment at the thought that she wouldn't get a chance to talk to her daughter. All day she'd been dying to have a real conversation with the girl, but she didn't want to risk drawing any unwanted attention to their relationship. Now it seemed they wouldn't get another opportunity to talk until tomorrow at the earliest. Rachel wouldn't even have her class again until Friday.
Shelby decided that was unacceptable. Making a snap decision she called her students to attention. "Alright, you all know the drill, you have an hour to talk things over, and then take a full vote. There will be no abstaining." She did a quick assessment of the students assembled in front of her. "Who would like to act as moderator?" Everyone looked around but no one seemed particularly eager to do it. "Don't everyone raise their hands at once."
Popping up from his seat Oliver raised his hand in the air and jumped up and down like a five year old who really had to go to the bathroom. "Pick me, pick me! Oh pick me, pleeeease pick me!"
Everyone burst out laughing and Shelby nodded her head. "All right, Oliver will be our impartial moderator."
He raised a hand to his chest in mock disbelief and then put on a gracious smile for his classmates, nodding his thanks for the congratulations that no one actually offered. Despite this display Shelby knew that he would take the role seriously and conduct the meeting fairly.
She drew everyone's attention back to her, "And, in honor of today's audition, practice will be cut short. After the vote is done you're all free to go." She heard the low buzz of excitement, and didn't try to contain it. She simply told them, "We will resume practice tomorrow on our regular schedule, so come prepared."
She allowed them to talk excitedly amongst themselves for a few seconds before cutting in, "If there are no questions…I'll turn the meeting over to Oliver." She nodded at the boy and saw him stand up to address his teammates. Shelby didn't pay attention to the words that he was saying as she walked towards the door. She was too busy trying to appear as though she wasn't in a hurry. Her pace quickened when she reached the hallway, and she was glad that the school was mostly deserted. It would not do for students to see their usually calm and reserved Glee coach practically running down the halls, but at the moment Shelby didn't care about that.
The only thing she cared about at the moment was getting over to the northeast parking lot before Rachel left. Not that she had been watching for her daughter to arrive this morning or anything. She could admit that after Rachel left last night she may have begun to worry that she had come on too strong with her daughter, but it wasn't like the girl was going to suddenly change her mind about their relationship overnight. Of course not. It was just a happy coincidence that the woman had recognized Rachel's Mini Cooper when it pulled into the parking lot this morning, and couldn't help taking note of it. And now that information was actually coming in handy.
Shelby knew these hallways all too well, and was able to cut the normal six minute walk from the auditorium to the parking lot down to two. She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw that her daughter's car still sat in the nearly empty parking lot. It was only as she got closer to the vehicle that she became certain that Rachel wasn't in it. She wasn't sure whether she should stay here and wait for her daughter to come out. Given the head start Rachel had, she didn't think it was possible that she'd simply beaten the girl here. After looking around the parking lot one more time she went inside and took the long way back towards the auditorium this time, certain that if Rachel were headed this way they would cross paths.
By the time she made it halfway back she was sure that Rachel wasn't going to her car. So where could she be? Shelby didn't know Rachel well enough to say with any certainty where she would turn in her current state of mind, and that lack of insight into her daughter's mind was extremely frustrating.
Taking a guess, she changed course and hoped that she wouldn't be too far off. The clacking of her heels was the only sound she heard until she got closer to her classroom and heard the faint sounds of her piano. With relief Shelby opened the classroom door and slipped inside to find Rachel sitting there. Although she didn't usually like students playing with the instrument without permission, in this instance it didn't bother her nearly as much as it normally would.
She silently watched for a minute as Rachel distractedly chewed her bottom lip with unfocused eyes that stared off into some undefined point in her mind. Shelby wished that she could ask the girl what she was thinking about, but she didn't dare intrude on what were obviously private thoughts. Instead she took another slow step into the classroom. When that failed to catch the young woman's attention she went with a more direct approach.
"Rachel."
The sound abruptly stopped, and Rachel jumped like a rabbit against an electric fence. "Shelby! Hi! I, um, I didn't hear you come in…"
Shelby took another slow step towards the piano. "I didn't know you could play."
"Um…" Rachel looked confused until Shelby nodded down at the piano. "Oh! I don't play. Not really. I mean, I know a few chords, but that's about it. It's on my list of things to learn how to do before I turn 21 though."
Shelby's mind conjured up the image of her and Rachel sitting together at the piano, but she almost immediately dismissed it. At least, she tried to. It was a sweet idea, one that would surely linger in her mind, but she knew that the reality of it wouldn't be nearly so simple. She still had no clue what sort of access the Berry men would allow her to have to their daughter, or how much Rachel really wanted her there. Until she did, she would maintain a safe distance and allow Rachel to set the pace.
"I actually had my fathers buy me a piano, you know, for motivational purposes, because I figured that once I had one I would be inspired to learn how to use it…except it turns out it's not so easy to teach yourself how to play, so it's just been sitting there for the last two years, and Daddy says that he and Papa aren't going to buy me another musical instrument until I learn how to use it, which I think is a entirely unfair. Creativity should never be stifled! I've slowly been wearing Daddy down, though, so all hope is not lost..." Catching the look on Shelby's face she realized how far off her tangent had gone, and her long winded explanation petered off as it returned to its starting point. "But…I, um…I don't play."
"Yeah. I got that," she said, her tone slipping into its usually wry bluntness. Rachel looked away with embarrassment and Shelby silently scolded herself for slipping back into Glee Coach mode. It was second nature to her though, and she was not usually so nice around people, but for Rachel she was determined to make an exception. Scouring her mind for something to say to break the awkward silence that suddenly fell, Shelby finally settled on the one thing she hoped would get Rachel talking again. "I learned how to play when I was about your age."
"Really?" Just as she hoped, Rachel was once again engaged in the conversation.
Shelby nodded. "I picked up a few things over the years, but I didn't really get serious about it until I was 14. My parents were not quite as supportive of it as yours though. The most I could get out of them was an electric keyboard."
With curiosity dripping from her tone, Rachel asked, "You taught yourself how to play?"
"Kind of. I was never formally taught, but I would make friends with the musicians who came through my parents bar, and I was able to wear a few of them down enough to teach me a thing or two."
"That must've been amazing environment to grow up in."
Shelby could tell that the girl was romanticizing it in her mind, and she certainly had enough stories to burst that bubble, but she simply said, "It was…certainly an experience." She was happy to see that Rachel was interested, but talking about her childhood was one of the last things she wanted to do. In the last few days she'd said more on the topic than she had in last few years. Switching focus, she said, "I hope your dads weren't too upset last night." She saw the cringe that Rachel tried to keep off of her face.
"It was fine," Rachel said in a falsely casual tone. When she saw that Shelby wasn't buying it her hands began to fidget nervously at her sides. "Really. They were just worried about me. I told them where I was and they both understood." Probably sensing that Shelby wasn't about to let it go Rachel changed gears. "I also mentioned what you said about wanting to meet up and talk with them about…" Rachel gesticulated trying to come up with the proper word, "…this…and they both agreed that it was really good idea to have a sit down."
Shelby suddenly felt like a swarm of butterflies had invaded her stomach. No. Butterflies were far too gentle. Bees would be a more accurate description. A swarm made up of thousands of agitated bees trapped inside her stomach. Rachel was too busy digging around in her backpack to notice her discomfort.
Pulling out a sheet of paper she handed it to Shelby and explained, "This is my copy of their work schedules for the next week. Green is for Papa, and blue is for Daddy. As you can see things are pretty hectic." That was definitely evident. It was easier to count the hours they weren't working. "I've marked their most convenient times for the meeting." Shelby noticed that most of the times marked were around dinner. "But they are willing to cater to your schedule as much as possible, so it's really up to you."
Shelby nodded her head, and tried to keep her anxiety from showing. It had been nerve-wracking enough to talk to Leroy after all these years. She couldn't imagine what it would be like to talk to both Berry men at the same time, now that she had managed to barge her way back into their lives. Judging by Rachel's evasive wording about their reactions, they were probably none too pleased with any of this. And who could blame them? They hired a surrogate instead of adopting because they wanted a child that would be entirely theirs. Shelby was supposed to disappear from their lives after nine months, never to darken their doorstep again. They'd even had her sign a contract to make sure of it. Now they were all going to get together and figure out how she was going to become a part of their daughter's life? She couldn't imagine either of them being particularly happy about the situation.
"And I wasn't sure if you wanted me to be there or not, so I included a copy of my current schedule as well. You'll see it's highlighted in pink… Of course, that schedule is subject to change…depending on how things went with the vote…" Shelby was too wrapped up in her own thoughts to notice Rachel's pointed hint. The young singer cleared her throat. "I take it from your reluctance to broach the topic that it probably didn't go well."
Shelby stared at her for a moment in complete incomprehension, and Rachel took her confusion as agreement. The girl's eyes began to tear up, and Shelby immediately stepped forward with concern. "Rachel, wha-"
"Please allow me to finish." The girl straightened her spine and was clearly fighting back tears. "I realize how difficult it is to obtain a position on Vocal Adrenaline, and while I still believe that I would make an excellent addition to the team, I understand that you cannot simply ignore your student's opinions of my performance. Unity and morale are the foundation upon which a team is built, and I don't expect you to make any exceptions for me." Rachel paused for a second as though gathering her thoughts, "You know, I thought that if I didn't make it onto the team I would suddenly regret deciding to transfer. I mean, being a part of Vocal Adrenaline was one of the main reasons I came here in the first place."
Hearing that jolted Shelby back into action and she took another step towards her daughter, "Rachel…"
She shook her head, refusing to be interrupted. "But I've been thinking about what I might do if I didn't make it onto the team, and I've realized that Vocal Adrenaline isn't my main reason for wanting to stay here anymore." Shelby thought that she was talking about her relationship with Jesse, until Rachel offered her a hesitant smile, and familiar wide brown eyes met hers with open honesty. Shelby was stunned as the weight of the girl's unspoken words hit her. All too soon Rachel looked away, with a slight shrug of her shoulders, "So, it's okay that I didn't make it onto the team. Well…not really – I thought that my performance was inspired – but I will try to deal with the rejection with the grace befitting one headed down the path of my chosen profession and –"
"Rachel!" Her tone wasn't sharp, but the insistence of it cut off whatever else Rachel was going to say and made her finally stop to listen to what her mother had been trying to tell her all along. "The voting isn't done yet."
It took a moment for those words to process through the young woman's mind after apparently having resigned herself to the idea that she'd not been voted in. "…It isn't?"
Shelby shook her head and said gently, "No. When I left they were only just getting started." Relief coursed through her like a painkiller, erasing fears that she didn't even know she had. It was only now that she felt the relief of knowing that Rachel planned to stay no matter what the outcome of the vote, that she realized how worried she had been about her daughter leaving. After all, Glee Club meant so much to Rachel. She didn't think it would be possible for the girl to stay here and be happy without some outlet to feed her theatrical impulses into. Apparently she was willing to make that sacrifice though.
Shelby felt lighter…buoyant even.
She watched with amusement as Rachel ran her hands over the front of her skirt, with a red tint to her checks and said, "Oh. Well, that's…good." It was an obvious understatement judging by the relieved smile that blossomed across Rachel's face. She forced herself to reclaim her seat at the piano, and Shelby had to fight not to laugh at the girls attempt at restraint. "Why aren't you in there with them then?" Rachel asked curiously, relief still plainly showing on her face.
Shelby wasn't quite prepared to have the focus of the conversation returned to her.
"Um, I just…" came to make sure you were okay, she didn't say. "I like to give them space to talk about things and come up with a decision on their own. I didn't think you would still be here on campus…" She switched the focus of this conversation back to Rachel.
She expected the girl to say that she was just waiting around for the results of the vote, so she was surprised when Rachel stared down at the piano keys with an embarrassed look. "I don't have anywhere else to be, and I didn't want to go home yet."
Shelby wondered how much trouble the girl had gotten in last night. "You don't want to go home…?"
Her cautious tone made Rachel glance up and quickly shake her head, "I don't want to go home because there's nobody there. My dads will both be at work 'til late tonight, and I hate sitting around in a big empty house by myself until they come home." She refused to meet Shelby's eyes, but the older woman could see that her entire face was red, as though she had just admitted that she was afraid of the dark or something.
"Right," Shelby said, because she was unsure of what else to say. She knew exactly what Rachel meant. She rarely allowed herself to dwell on the thought, but she hated walking into her empty house at night. After growing up in a place that was constantly overrun with people she had never gotten used to being alone. There was just too much space in her house, too much silence, for one person to fill. Although it was far more embarrassing coming from a woman in her mid-thirties, she knew exactly what Rachel meant. She just couldn't bring herself to say it out loud. After a pause the girl returned her attention to the piano keys in front of her, and Shelby once again felt ridiculously inept. Her daughter apparently felt extremely lonely, and the best she could come up with was 'right'? Rachel began tinkling at the keys again at random and Shelby moved forward until she was standing beside the piano bench.
She watched Rachel's form for a moment and allowed her mind to switch into teacher mode, a territory she felt far more comfortable with. It may not sound like it would be much of a problem, but one of the hardest things for most beginning piano students to learn was how to move their hands and fingers independently of each other. For some people it's simple, but for others it can be challenging. Rachel wasn't completely confident in her movements, but it wouldn't take much to help her improve.
Watching her daughter's hands move, she softly said, "I could show you a few things, if you'd like." Rachel fingers stopped as she looked up at Shelby. Remembering her earlier resolution to allow Rachel to set the pace of their relationship she tried to offer her daughter an out, "Unless you don't –"
Rachel quickly interjected, "I'd love that." She slid over on the bench to make room, and Shelby hesitated for a moment before taking a seat beside her. Whatever problems Rachel's fathers had, they were all just going to have to deal with them. So long as Rachel wanted her there, Shelby knew that she wasn't going anywhere.
Jesse tried his hardest to keep his mind on what was going on in the auditorium instead of worrying over Rachel. She needed him in here a lot more than she needed him following after her.
He hoped.
He still felt bitter resentment towards Shelby for stopping him from checking up on her, but he would deal with that later. Right now he couldn't afford to have his attention split.
"Alright ladies and gentlemen, looks like I'll be your host. Try not to think of me so much as the leader of this little meeting, and more as a peer who just happens to be entirely in charge." Oliver sent a charming smile to everyone around. A few people had stood up and started moving around, so that the group was in a loose semi-circle around the front of the stage. "So I know somebody is just bursting to talk…" A freshmen, Melissa, raised her hand in the air eagerly, clearly having never attended one of these votes before. Generally opinions were simply shouted out without the formality, and Jesse knew it must've taken all of Ollie's restraint not to mock her for it. Keeping his mouth closed he simply nodded in her direction obligingly.
"I don't see why we're even having auditions. Ingrid is going to get better. It's just a broken leg." She looked around for some support, but nobody else really cared.
Another conceited freshmen asked her, "And what are we supposed to do in the meantime? Have Ingy hobbling around the stage on crutches?" He laughed at his own joke and waited for others to join in. They didn't.
"Don't be a dick Blake," Melissa said with annoyance.
Ollie held up his hands. "Children, please, let's be civil, or else you're both going to have to start raising your hands." That elicited a few laughs at their expense, especially when they both looked down at the ground guiltily.
"Coach clearly wants a new member. Ingrid is just gonna have to deal," Jane told Melissa, who had scrunched down in her seat sullenly.
Andrea threw out there, "If it helps, by the time she's better I'm sure your spot will be vacant."
The new additions to the team chuckled because they thought she was joking. The older team members laughed even harder because they knew it was probably true.
"I didn't like her," Brook announced bluntly, with a bored expression on her face.
"Ingrid?" Cassidy asked.
"She was kinda stuck up," Caroline pointed out beside him.
"No. Well…her too. But I was talking about Rachel."
Annabelle nodded her head. "She seemed arrogant."
Jesse saw the way they both looked to Julia for approval, but she chose to remain impassive.
"What? You thought you'd cornered the market on arrogance?" Kendra asked sardonically. Annabelle glared at her. Jesse ignored them both. He knew exactly where Annabelle and Kendra stood. Instead he concentrated on the reactions of those around him. It wasn't too hard to tell who was and was not in favor of Rachel joining the club. Some of them would feel threatened by her, and some of them would just want to maintain the status quo, but Jesse was sure that the main reason would be because Julia wanted them to.
Playing devil's advocate, Gloria said, "Come on! 'So when do I start?'…That's pretty damn presumptuous."
"Sounded more like confidence to me," Dominico said with shrug.
"No reason not to be. She was good," Asher agreed. Jesse noted the people who nodded their heads in agreement.
"The last thing we need is another wannabe-diva trying to hog the spotlight," Brook said with a haughty tone. As a sophomore she would undoubtedly see herself as Rachel's direct competition for solos and future leading roles.
Looking amused Oliver asked, "Afraid of a little competition Brookie?"
"You can shove it up your –"
"Don't make me hold you in contempt…oh wait…"
"But did you guys see the way she froze up there?" Ethan asked with more than a little amusement. Enough make Jesse want to punch him in the face.
"So she was nervous. At least she didn't faint," Sandra pointed out. It wasn't an uncommon occurrence with people auditioning for Vocal Adrenaline the first time. The heat, the lights, the nerves, sometimes it got to them.
"Oh, come on, that was more than just 'nervous', that was Bambi staring down the headlights of a big rig truck," Eric told them unapologetically.
"Shut up, Eric." Everyone glanced at Jesse. He was sure they'd all been wondering when he'd jump in to Rachel's defense. He'd planned to wait a bit longer, but there was something about Eric McClendon's obnoxiousness that always made it hard for him to hold his tongue.
"What? We aren't allowed to criticize your girlfriend? You were never so defensive about Julia." Eric pointed out snidely, trying to get a rise out of her too. Julia didn't even acknowledge him with a glance. It was laughable to think that she would ever need Jesse's help defending herself from him.
Following Julia's lead, Jesse ignored Eric. Rising from his seat he drew every eye to him. "Can anyone here honestly say she's a bad singer? That Rachel is not good enough to be on the team? She's talented and dedicated -"
"And she's your girlfriend," Eric interrupted. "I think it's safe to say you're a bit biased."
"This isn't about me. It's about Rachel and her abilities."
Eric was undoubtedly about to give another smartass reply, but he was cut off.
"I agree." Julia said conversationally. "Rachel has a great voice. Her performance was a little raw, but that's nothing that won't iron itself out with experience." Everyone in the room stared at her as though she'd just grown a third head and started speaking in tongues. She just shrugged at their disbelief and pointed out, "The girl is talented." No one in the room honestly believed that she would ever take Jesse's side in this and just as expected, the other shoe dropped a few seconds later, "I do have one question though. Maybe we should get Rachel back in here to answer it." Julia looked around as though she was about to tell someone to go fetch her.
"No," Jesse said immediately.
Julia looked at him with questioning bemusement, and he shifted slightly from foot to foot. He had no real reason for denying her request, except that it was a knee-jerk reaction for him to oppose anything that came out if Julia's mouth, no matter how seemingly harmless. He knew her well enough to know that nothing from her was ever quite as harmless as it seemed. There was no way he was about to subject Rachel to her brand of questioning.
He stood his ground, silently glaring at her without saying anything else – without knowing what to say – and she eventually relented with sigh, "Fine. Then perhaps you could tell us...?"
"Here we go," someone whispered excitedly and a hush of anticipation fell over the room as Julia continued to address Jesse directly.
"Why did Rachel leave New Directions?" There was a pause in which everyone tried to find the hidden insult or insinuation in that question and came up empty.
"...Burn...?" Eric asked. Julia rolled her eyes and ignoring him.
At Jesse's continued look of suspicious she elaborated, addressing the whole team, "As those of us who were here after the purge can recall, building up a competitive show choir from scratch is not for the faint of heart. From what I can tell Rachel was the driving force behind the creation of McKinley High's glee team. So…" She shrugged, "why did she leave?"
"She wanted to be a part of Vocal Adrenaline," Jesse said simply, remembering her implication early that Rachel was just following him around like a school girl with a crush, and refusing to play into her hand.
"Hmm…"
Clenching his jaw Jesse asked, "What?"
"How…ambitious of her." The word held a dozen different connotations, none of them good.
"Since when is ambition frowned upon?" Jesse asked as he saw glances being exchanged back and forth. "Half the people here were recruited from other teams."
"True. I don't think any of them had a hand in building those teams though. I mean, after all the hard work her team put in, they win Sectionals, gets a shot at Regionals, and she just suddenly decided to walk away?" She shook her head with disbelief.
"We all know there's no chance New Directions is going to win at Regionals."
Julia laughed. "Well, of course not, but who thought they would in the first place?" That earned a few chuckles all around. Jesse continued to glare at her, unsmiling. "You aren't seriously saying that it just occurred to Rachel that her little team might not be good enough to make it to Nationals?"
"They were holding her back," Jesse said, ignoring the question.
"Quite clearly…but, I suppose the question I'm really trying to ask is, why now?"
"What could that possibly have to do with anything?" Jesse was certain that she was trying to get him to admit that Rachel had simply transferred because of him, but everyone here knew about their relationship! Jesse could not understand what victory she could possibly get from having him say it.
"A couple months before Regionals the lead singer of a rival glee team suddenly jumps ships and decides to audition with us… Can you blame me for wondering what prompted it?"
That's when it clicked in Jesse's mind exactly where this was going. She wasn't making fun of his relationship with Rachel. As amusing as the team would undoubtedly find it, that wouldn't do any real damage. No, she was making a far more insidious accusation. Implying that Rachel might have an alternative motive for coming to Carmel that had nothing to do with Jesse. He had learned from first hand experience just how hard it was to earn a teammates trust after being accused of being a spy, and he knew that he had to cut her off at the pass before it went any further.
"No, I can't," he admitted. It was his turn to get surprised looks from the team, but his attention was focused solely on Julia. He saw her eyes light up as she realized that he had caught on. "If you really want to know, Rachel left New Directions because they didn't appreciate her," Julia eyebrow quirked up just slightly, in what was either curiosity or amusement. "The idiots at McKinley High hate anything that doesn't involve a ball or pompoms. The glee team was basically considered both a waste of space and funds, and Rachel was made to bear the brunt of her classmates' hostility. You said yourself that she practical won Sectionals single-handedly. Her team should have been kissing the ground she walks on, but they could barely be bothered to listen to her or even practice a steady set list. Rachel left because she got tired of carrying that team on her back and getting absolutely nothing in return." Turning away from Julia, who continued to watch him, he looked around at the rest of the team. "You all saw that performance. You know she's talented. She deserves to be a part of Vocal Adrenaline." He tried to make eye contact with them all, and he could see the gears turning for many of them. It was going to be a close call, he was sure. He did a mental count of all the people he thought would vote for Rachel, and nearly groaned when it occurred to him that Oliver wouldn't be among them. As moderator of the vote he wasn't allowed to participate in it, meaning that Jesse's girlfriend had just lost one of the few sure votes she had.
Jesse looked for some sign of sympathy or solidarity in the faces around him. They were probably all weighing the pros and cons, and trying to figure out what it would cost them to choose one side over the other. Even with Jesse backing Rachel the safe bet would be to maintain the status quo and side with Julia. Jesse felt something like despair fill his chest. He could just imagine the look on Rachel's face when she found out that the team had voted against having her in, and the heartbreak there just killed him.
He looked down at the ground and for a moment clear look of defeat and sadness showed on his features. He couldn't be bothered to care whether anyone saw, and he didn't notice that Julia was still watching him closely.
After a few more seconds of quiet conversations Oliver clapped his hands together once to get everyone's attention. He must have done the math and come to the same conclusion as Jesse because his voice held a hint of trepidation when he said, "Alright, if there're no more questions or comments, I think it's about time we bring things to a vote." No one raised any objections, so he slowly asked, "All in favor of Rachel Berry joining Vocal Adrenaline?"
Jesse raised his hand, and watched as Kendra, followed suit. Asher, Cassidy, Caroline, Gloria, Andrea, Dominico, Jane, Freddie, Sandra, and Nick all joined them, but with twenty-five members in Vocal Adrenaline they were still one person short. One person. Jesse glared daggers into Oliver. If he hadn't stupidly volunteered to play 'moderator' Rachel would have all the votes she needed. Ollie refused to meet his gaze and Jesse turned away, instead looking around and trying to find someone to change their mind, but nobody made a move to raise their hand. He felt like screaming.
He heard Oliver counting off the hands, as a sort of formality."…10, 11, 12." Everyone looked around. It was basically just a formality at this point, but rules were rules. "Looks like we have a tie. Everybody put your hands down and we'll try this again…Everyone in favor of Rachel – the chick who just got up there and knocked that shit out of the park –"
"What happened to being 'impartial'?" Derek interrupted.
"Shove it up your –"
"Boys!"
Oliver swallowed his words and went on, "Raise your hands if you think Rachel deserves to be on the team."
All of the same hands went up and Jesse closed his eyes in frustrated resignation. "1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12…?" Jesse's felt his heart leap at the questioning tone and allowed his eyes to snap open, looking around to see who had changed their mind at the last minute.
For a long moment his brain refused to register the truth of what he was seeing, but although he blinked his eyes rapidly it didn't go away. Julia's hand still hung in the air, as though it had suddenly mutinied and switched sides of its own compulsion. That would make far more sense than the alternative. That Julia was actually making a conscious decision to raise her hand, thereby altering the vote and making this into a tie in Rachel's favor. Yes, it was far more believable that a ghost had somehow possessed her extremities and was now playing with her limbs like a marionette puppet.
There was a long silence in which everyone stared at Julia like they were waiting for her to deliver the punchline, but it never came. Julia simply rolled her eyes at the astonished looks she was getting and jumped in with annoyed impatience to move things along, as though she hadn't noticed that hell had just frozen over. Prompting Oliver, who seemed just as taken aback as everyone else, she said, "Ollie? We've been over this before. The number that comes after twelve is 13."
Jesse stared at her and, almost like she couldn't resist, Julia's eyes met his for a moment before swiftly turning away, but in that quick glance Jesse saw something there that looked startlingly like uncertainty…
But that couldn't be true. He tired to catch her eye again, but she studiously ignored him.
With a put upon sigh she sent a scathing glare to all those who still sat motionless, obviously displeased. Starting with her most ardent followers hands quickly began to raise. Once it was clear that it would make no difference whether he voted for or against Rachel, even Eric and his friends accepted defeat and raised their hands.
For a second everyone looked around as though they weren't sure exactly how things had changed so quickly. The counting was unnecessary this time. "It's unanimous." Oliver sounded like he could hardly believe it himself. "So…I guess that's it."
Rachel was now a part of Vocal Adrenaline, and nobody was really sure how to take it. The majority of the room wasn't sure whether they should be happy or not, and Julia's features remained entirely unreadable. With their uncertainty and confusion about this latest sequence of events small groups and pairs quickly began to form in order to discuss what had just happened. A few of Julia's friends crowded around her, trying to get her to tell them why exactly they had all just voted in Jesse's new girlfriend, but much to their disappointment and confusion she didn't seem to be interested in explaining herself.
Voicing the thought that seemed to be on everyone's mind, Ollie stepped beside Jesse and asked, "…What the hell was that?"
"I have no clue," Kendra answered slowly, joining them. Staring at Julia with her head slightly tilted she said, "It was like watching Darth Vader rescue a puppy."
"What do you think?" Oliver asked Jesse, who had remained closed-lipped so far, already forgetting that he had almost cost Rachel her spot on the team.
Jesse's eyes had not left Julia's face once, but he didn't see anything revelatory there. He honestly had no idea why she would do anything to help him, but it made him even more uneasy than when she was openly working against him. He remembered that glimpse of uncertainty he had seen, but he still wasn't quite ready to accept it at face value. It was not in Julia's nature to do something against her own interests, but that seemed to be exactly what she had done. Without her sudden change of heart he knew that the team would have never voted Rachel in…and that was what she wanted…wasn't it? Why would she ever do anything to help Rachel?
With a quick shake of his head he said, "I don't know." He needed some time on his own to think all of this over. "I'll go and tell Shelby our decision," he told Oliver. Turning to walk towards the door, Jesse had tuned out before Ollie could say a word in reply, because Julia chose that moment to look him in the eye again. Dark blue eyes stopped him cold.
It was there again, the uncertainty, and just as mystifying as before. Jesse didn't get a chance to fully read into it though, because she dropped his gaze almost immediately, and when she turned it back to him whatever emotion had been there before was gone, replaced with her usual impenetrable shield. He tried to find some trace of what he'd seen there before, but a small smile played across her face and immediately put Jesse back on the defensive. He was well-acquainted with Julia's acting skills, and it occurred to him how easy it would be for her to fake something like uncertainty just to draw him in. She offered a small wink and Jesse turned away from her, feeling agitated.
Hurriedly he made his way over to the door without looking back. She got under his skin like no one else could, and he knew that she relished in it. She was infuriating. She always had been, but now it was somehow worse. As he stormed out of the auditorium Jesse knew that he now owed her for getting Rachel onto the team and that pissed him off even more.
Rachel. He focused his mind on Rachel.
She'd done it.
As soon as Shelby gave the word she would officially be a member of Vocal Adrenaline, and Jesse couldn't wait to tell her the news. He pictured her excitement and their future together from here, all the while doing his best to cast off the feeling that, although he had just gotten exactly what he wanted, Julia had still won.
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