A/N: Yes, your eyes are not deceiving you. I actually updated. xD I'm sorry I've been a crappy updater lately, I've just had some pretty bad writer's block with this story lately. But, anyway, I'm actually pretty proud of myself, 'cause I updated both of my stories tonight. Hope you enjoy this chapter. And I know it's short, but I just wanted...next chapter, to be it's own. Thank you all for being so patient, and for all your feedback.

The song for this chapter is actually one of my all-time favorites, and I think the song on a whole sums up Brennan's feelings for Booth pretty nicely. You all should listen to it. It really is a great song.

Chapter Fourteen

"If roses are meant to be red.

And violets to be blue.

then why isn't my heart meant for you?

My hands are longing to touch you

And I can barely breath.

Starry eyes that make me melt

right in front of me."

-"Lost" by Anouk

Brennan traced aimless patterns on her lover's arm as she laid with him, her arm draped across his waist as she pressed her chin to his shoulder, able to feel his chest rise and fall with his even breathing, the feeling relaxing her just a little.

"Booth?" She whispered, stopping the small patterns to rub his arm gently with the palm of her hand, "Booth, are you awake?"

"I am now," he laughed lightly, his voice indicating that she had pulled him out of his sleep, "I asked you to wake me up in twenty minutes, not twenty seconds."

"Sorry," she laughed, kissing his shoulder apologetically, "and it has actually been about five minutes, not twenty seconds."

"I know, Bones," he didn't bother explaining the concept of a hyperbole to her, tucking her hair behind her ear for her, "what's up? Why'd you wake me up?"

"I don't know," she admitted, "I just felt like talking, I guess."

"Alright," he shifted slightly so he could look at her, "about what?"

"I don't know," Brennan repeated, touching his cheek with the tips of her fingers, taking a long pause before she spoke again, having to find a topic she wanted to discuss, "why did you start gambling?"

Booth blinked, not expecting that question to pop out of her mouth.

"I, honestly have no idea," he told her, deciding to be open with her.

They had been open with each other their whole friendship. She knew things about him no one else did or ever would

"I was really messed up back then, you know, from the war and everything. I just, needed a way to deal."

"So you turned to gambling?" She asked.

"It was better than ruining myself with drugs or alcohol," he pointed out.

"I guess," Brennan shrugged, "I'm just curious to know, what made it so appealing? Losing all your money, I mean."

"It wasn't about losing the money, Bones. The thing with gambling addictions isn't that you want to lose all your money. It's that, once you lose, you keep trying to win it back. You keep thinking you'll get hot, and you never do."

Brennan nodded, somewhat understanding, even though she had never experienced the feeling first hand. The compulsion to win your money back. She'd gambled before, but when she lost, she just shrugged and walked away.

"Some people wind up gambling their houses away," he told her.

"You never went that far?"

"No," he chuckled lightly, "gambled away my life savings, but never my house."

Brennan traced her fingers over his jaw line, pausing to run her index finger gently down the side of his neck, leaning in to kiss his collarbone once she stopped there.

"Have you ever thought about going back?" She asked, looking back up at him, wrapping an arm around his waist as she spoke.

Booth paused, not feeling entirely comfortable answering that particular question.

"Why are we even talking about this?" He laughed, clearly avoiding discussing his prior addiction any further.

"Because I want to know," Brennan wasn't ready to let him off that easy, "and you're avoiding the question. Have you ever thought about gambling again after you went through the system?"

"The problem with any kind of addiction is that once you stop, it isn't that hard to start up again. People try to make it sound easy, like once you stop, magically, you never have the urge to do it again. But that isn't how it works, at all."

"So, yes?" Brennan asked.

"There have been times when I found myself wanting to gamble, yes," he told her, honestly, "just when I'm upset. Sometimes I just crave that thrill again, but it passes," he stopped when he saw the way she was looking at him, "don't pity me, Bones. It's not a big deal."

"I'm not pitying you," she assured him, "I just, guess, I understand, that's all. I've never had an addiction, and I never really understood them, but, when you explain it, it makes sense."

Booth half smiled, kissing the top of her head.

"Really?" He asked.

"Yes," she laughed softly, "I often understand things I normally wouldn't once you explain."

Booth laughed as well, nuzzling her temple softly.

"Bones?"

"Yes?"

"When I break up with Hannah," he paused, seeing her eyebrows furrow, "I...I want to take things slow."

"Well it's a little late for that now," Brennan had to laugh, "we've already had sex. Multiple times."

"I know," he rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, "I was just thinking," he paused, feeling idiotic when he saw the look on her face, "hey, just forget it, alright? It's stupid."

"I'm sure it's not. Go ahead. Continue."

"Nah, it's dumb. Really."

"You know I can be relentless, Booth."

"Yes, I know," he had to laugh, deciding to finally share his thoughts with her, "alright, I just, don't think this is how our relationship should have started. It wasn't supposed to be like this, are you following so far?"

Brennan nodded, watching him in concentration.

"Okay," he laughed again, feeling slightly tense, especially when she studied him, as if he was one of her bones laid out on the autopsy table, "once this break up with Hannah thing is official, I want to do it right."

"You mean you want to, court me?" She asked, puzzled.

"Well, when you say it like that it sounds creepy," he laughed awkwardly, "I want to, date you. Like, a real relationship. You know, take you on real dates, hold your hand when we cross the street, open the car door for you, walk you to your door and maybe even kiss you goodnight."

Brennan seemed a combination of amused and touched, leaning in to kiss his lips softly after he spoke, brushing her fingers through his hair.

"I would like that," she said, honestly.

Booth was taken by surprise. He never pinned Brennan as a woman who would like to have a pedestrian relationship, but if she was agreeing, then he wasn't going to complain. Maybe that little sip of wine earlier did make her a little tipsy.

"Really?" He asked.

"Yes," she responded, honestly, "I would like to have a real relationship with you, and you know that. You know I'm the one who's been trying to get you to end it with Hannah for a month now. I feel as if you're the one who doesn't want a relationship."

"No, I do, I promise you, Bones. This is what I want," he quickly caught his words, correcting himself, "I mean, not this, what we're doing now, but 'this' as in what I just explained, with the car doors and the goodnight kisses."

"I knew what you meant," Brennan laughed weakly, "but, I just want to know why you want to take it slow. What is the difference? You could do all of that stuff, but we could still have sex."

"Our relationship right now is all about sex. Our affair was about sex. I just, want to make it about us. Me and you. Brennan and Booth. Nothing physical. It'll be just like it was before, except we're allowed to kiss, and hug each other, and all that good stuff."

Brennan tilted her head curiously.

"But no sex?"

Booth laughed, moving her bangs to kiss her forehead.

"No, no sex," his tone was apologetic, "I mean, yes, eventually, but we're going to take it slow," he paused, but then spoke again before she could, "and, no, slow does not mean a week. Slow means slow. We have sex when we're ready for it."

"Well, we're both 'ready' for it," she reminded him, "we've done it. And we're both two healthy adults who have needs and urges. We aren't virgins, Booth."

"Can you just, go with me on this one?" He smiled charmingly, seeing her eyes light up in admiration, and, even though she would never admit it, a tiny spark of love, "Of course we're ready physically. I meant 'ready' as in emotionally ready. When we have an actual relationship, it's not going to be like this. Sure, I guess you could call this 'making love' but not really. When we make love, when we actually make love, as a couple, when we fall asleep and wake up in each other's arms, it's going to be better than this."

Brennan's eyes shimmered in the light of her bedroom. This man could be so poetic.

"Why?" She asked, dumbstruck by his words.

"Because, that's love, Bones. This, it's lust. I love you, but this is not love."

"That, doesn't make any sense."

Booth sighed, followed by a half-hearted laugh, as he unwrapped his arms from around her and slipped out of bed, starting to get dressed.

"You'll understand soon enough," he promised her.

When he started to redress, Brennan felt her heart drop into her stomach, the way it always did when he was leaving her. The absence of the body next to her made the room feel more cold than it was, and as she watched him prepare to go back to Hannah, she couldn't help but feel an ache in the center of her chest.

"Leaving?" She asked, trying her best to keep her tone light.

"Yeah," he told her, fastening the buttons on his shirt, "but I'll be back."

"Booth, it's late," she was slightly confused by his promise, "you can't come back later."

Once he was dressed again, he leaned down to kiss her head, seeing her eyes close to embrace the feeling. He tapped gently under her chin to urge her to look at him.

"I'll be back later," he promised, not bothering to explain to her, "alright? I promise. I'm coming back tonight."

"Okay," she was slightly confused, but didn't want to stress over it, "I'll see you tonight then."

"Yeah," he kissed her head again, then her cheek, and finally her lips, "I'll see you tonight."