Am I dead? No. The light is blinding me. Someone turn it off. My eyes are burning and my head is pounding furiously. I'm definitely not dead… yet. Using my limp arms, I struggle to prop myself up against a pillow and lay back. The room is crisp and clean. White, stiff furniture decorate the room sparingly and the only source of color comes from the posters sturdily tacked on the walls. All the posters offer some form of health advice although some are very disturbing, for example there is a cartoon apple eating a banana saying that the banana is delicious and "chock full of potassium" while the banana smiles cheerfully despite not having the top of its head anymore and being naked. Strangely, this picture of the stupid banana infuriates me and I throw my pillow at it. Dumb banana, why is it so happy at the prospect of being eaten? And why can't that stupid ringing get out of my head? How did this all happen anyway? Ugh I hate this! Why do I feel like crap right now? My chest feels like some one used it like a piñata, I can't breathe without a sharp twinge stabbing my chest and my useless right hand is trapped in a cast. The only good thing is I can move my arms and legs but everything aches. Furiously, I rise out of my bed until acute pain sparks from my foot all the way up to my body. Stupid foot.
Footsteps approach my room and I settle myself back into bed, angrily waiting for an answer. A voice trembles slightly as he asks. "How is she, Alex?"
"She should be fine it's only a mild traumatic brain injury or, as you know it, a concussion. The only serious damage was her two broken ribs and her right hand and those are all healing. Gee, Kurt, I wish you could see the look on your face. I thought you were over her." Alex's voice chuckles good naturedly.
Kurt's voice stiffens. "I am, Alex, but she's my friend. Can I help but be concerned? You know finding your good friend drop face first on the ground looking like road kill isn't exactly a carnival ride."
"Gee whiz, Kurt, take it easy or I'm going to have to give you some heart medication. All I've been saying is that you've been on edge ever since you brought her here. Now, we need to be really quiet as to not wake her up." Silently, Alex opens the door and enters in quiet as a mouse. Kurt, on the other hand, stumbles nervously across the whole room. For a reason foreign to me, I feign sleep and focus on listening to them talk rather than on my headache.
"How are things with Dia? Are they going good or even better than good?" There's a hidden amusement in Alex's voice that makes me want to rip out his throat.
"Things are good and I'd like it to stay that way, Alex. Not that it's your business."
"Okay okay, Lord Kurt, the high and mighty. You need a chill pill. Too bad I ran out." Mentally, I roll my eyes. I can hear Alex rattling a container open and taking something out of it but I don't dare to look. "Now, how do you think I should give her the pill? Through her food? I know that she'd rather die than take any medication if the rumors are true."
"What rumors?"
"You know the ones about her abusing alcohol, drugs and the like. Her so called hard partying. Then, her going to rehab after her mom died. I can't believe that you out of all people haven't heard of this." Say what? Who the hell is going around telling people this kind of crap and how can people just pass it off like cheap gossip? I mean it's as true as the chestnut locks of my hair but people shouldn't be spreading this around. No wonder everyone's nice to my face; it's like meeting a celebrity, someone you heard of and can easily distance yourself from. And I thought Alex was my friend. Or at least friendly.
"Alex, you're usually a cool guy and good friend but if you ever talk about Rebecca like that again I'll rearrange your body parts until it looks like a game of Operation."
"In her food it is."
"Alex, if you even touch my food, I'll shove it down your throat." I grumble, ending my fake sleep. Alex looks up in shock while Kurt's head perks up. They both rush to my side, forcing me to back up as they interrogate me.
"Rebecca, how are you feeling?"
"Does your head ache?"
"Do your ribs hurt much?"
"How does your hand feel?"
Putting my fingers on both of their lips, I comment, "Cranky; yes, like you wouldn't believe; excruciating; and I don't think I'll be able to write or draw for a while but other than that I'm just peachy. Any more questions?"
Kurt pulls away from my finger and crosses his arms, "What happened to you?"
"It was Bud, I think. My mind is still fuzzy on everything. I remember punching him and kicking the futureless children out of his buddy, Rob and then running away." Suddenly, my mind flashes back to the puppy and desperately I clutch onto Kurt's shirt, "The puppy. They were beating up a puppy. What happened to the puppy? Where is he?"
"Relax, Rebecca, the little guy is alright. Damaged but with time he'll get better. He'll have a nasty limp and his ribs will feel like hell for awhile. Right now he's sleeping." Kurt smiles at me as I begin to relax my body. Relieved, my eyes water and tear relentlessly. Gratefully, I give Kurt the biggest hug ever and thank him. Thank you, too, Harvest Goddess. For once, you listened.
"Now, eat. You need a lot of rest and nutrition." Clearing his throat, Alex sets a tray of steaming meatloaf and gray peas in front of me and it takes all of my will not to chuck it back at him. As I start to spoon the food uneasily into my mouth, Alex continues, "It will take a while for your ribs and hand to heal which means no heavy lifting or work for any matter. You also have a mild concussion but it's not serious. If you have a headache just take two ibuprofen pills and lay down. And your bruises will get better in time but for now I suggest avoiding mirrors."
"Thank you, Dr. Kevorkian, I feel so much better now."
"And also, your crankiness is a symptom of your concussion but unfortunately we'll have to wait for that to end." Alex remarks grudgingly and my urge to strike him over his head with the tray compels me. But I won't do that since he is the one who with the scalpel.
Before I can retort something witty, we hear multiple sets of footsteps approaching the room. The door bursts open to reveal Eve, who in her pregnant glory, looks like a wreck. Uncle Duke followed closely behind and Grandpa Terry, who finally came back to town, who appears to be the most confused out of them all. Then again he probably wasn't expecting to come back home to find his own granddaughter beaten to a pulp. Uncle Duke's normally handsome features are locked in a grimace and Eve's lovely face is tearstained. Grandpa Terry, however, has this unreadable expression.
"Rebecca! How are you?" Crushing me against her pregnant belly, Eve cries out. "We were so worried. You look terrible!"
"Thanks Eve. I feel even worse."
"Sorry, I didn't mean it like that. Look, I got you some treats since the ones you bought were unsalvageable." Gratefully, I snatch a sugar cookie out of the bag and hungrily devour it.
Uncle Duke gives me a gentle, comforting hug, and then brings his face close to mine. The look in his face look familiar, it's the one he gets whenever Eve or I do anything bad. "Rebecca, be honest. What on Earth happened to you? Do not lie to us."
"Why would I, Uncle Duke?" Calmly, I go through the whole story of Bud and Rob kicking the puppy senseless and my stepping in which would lead to my own beating. All of faces in the room change from fascinated into disgusted and angry. Throughout my story, I begin to realize how angry I've become too and how my half-eaten cookie has been crumbled into bits. I feel like someone is crushing my chest and I'm letting them. Wow, I've never really felt like this since I left Jeremy nor do I like the feeling much. It's poisonous. I have to put an end to that indescribable emotion before it grows and festers in my heart like ivy, slowly killing me.
"Bud and Rob! I should have known. Don't worry we'll get those punks and settle this in court. We'll see those misogynistic bastards get the full ride." Like a hammer, Uncle Duke's fist keeps pounding into the hardened flesh of his other hand. Everyone agreed wholeheartedly and cheered like Uncle Duke came up with the cure for cancer.
"No." If I see any one of those low lives again that I'll form a grudge so strong that it won't end until someone is dead. It's extreme but that's how I felt and still feel about Jeremy. To tell the truth, I can't even think of Jeremy without some form of resentment let alone forgive him at the moment.
The room is invaded by silence as everyone gawks at me. "What?"
"I'm not doing it. Remember I also kicked the cranberries out of them which makes me responsible."
"But that was for self defense. Besides you were also trying to save an innocent puppy." Eve reassures me. "Come on, what's wrong?"
Sighing, I tell the truth. "Honestly, I don't think I can face any one of them again. Please don't make me face them again. They're the worst kind of scum and I want nothing to do with them."
"You're a fool." Astonished, everyone's attention transfers to Kurt, appearing to be thinking aloud, who continues, "Rebecca, if you don't take action what message will you be sending them? That it's fine to harm innocent, weaker beings? If you don't end this right now, those two bastards are only going to take it as a sign of acceptance and do the same thing to others not nearly as bold as you. Rebecca, I know you're afraid but you need to do this for all of the potential future victims. You're brave which is why I have faith in you. We all have faith in you."
Everyone gives me a warm, reassuring smile. Darn, Kurt and his sense of justice. He's right, though. "Fine, but I don't want to see them out of court and I don't want their money. I'm not desperate enough to take dirty cash. Give it to charity."
Everyone resumed cheering and then got busy. Kurt decided to give another call to Blue, who was out of town. Eve had to go throw up and like a linebacker bulled her way through to the bathroom. Alex goes to check up on the puppy and other patients. Uncle Duke proceeds to call his lawyer friend leaving just Grandpa Terry and me by ourselves.
Grandpa Terry is my only living grandparent and my mother's dad. Her death left him devastated just like my Grandmother Mara's did. Since, then, he's shrunk into a shell of his former self. He's still the town ranger but he's no longer strong and tough. It's like seeing Dirty Harry taken down a couple of pegs. He left town for a while when I returned because he couldn't handle seeing me again, telling Eve that I remind him too much of my mother who reminds him too much of my late grandmother. He's the toughest man I know but my family really screwed him over in life. First, my grandmother dies from carbon monoxide poisoning which causes his own children to become rebellious and resentful of him. Then, his "good" daughter ditches town to follow some rich charlatan (his words not mine) and returns only to dump his granddaughter on his doorstep. Then, my mom marries a good-for-nothing cheating scumbag (again his words) who leaves her and his innocent granddaughter for a plastic Barbie doll. Then, his only son who he hoped to succeed him as town ranger wastes all of his money and savings on owning a bar, selling alcohol which Grandpa Terry detests. Then, his so-called innocent granddaughter (me) rebels like her mother; drinking and cursing like a sailor, partying until the wee hours of dawn and staying in a self-destructive relationship with an abusive, immature boy. The only one not to really screw with Grandpa is Eve, who is pregnant but engaged. My family really is a soap opera without the glamour and tacky makeup.
"Grandpa, what are you thinking of?" Gently, I put my undamaged hand on his wrinkly, soft arm.
He meets my eyes with tears in his. "You look so much like your mother right now. You have that bright sparkle in your eyes that your mom was famous for. Do you know how proud your mother would be of you?"
"Yeah, I do." But I don't believe in those words because all I've ever done was acting like a terrible daughter.
"I'm proud of you. You stood up for what you believed in and stood your ground. It takes someone with guts to face something frightening. If I were you, I don't think I could have done what you did. You're special, Rebecca, just like your grandmother was. I'm sorry I wasn't there to tell you so when you needed it most." He squeezes my hand tenderly as we share a warm yet tentative smile. Everyone begins to pile back into the room and clean up the wrappers of pastries and other things. Eve puts her arm around my shoulder and places my head against her chest. Eve the mama bird has flown into the building.
"It'll get better." Eve says, which I'm grateful for since others just ask how much in pain I am. "Alex says we can take you home tomorrow but the puppy will have to stay for the rest of the week. You did a good thing facing those bullies. If I weren't preggers I'd give them a run for their money alright."
"Good news, Al said he'd do it for free. He'll come around sometime next week to talk. Girls, I have to go and open up the bar. I hate to leave, but I guess I'll have to see you tomorrow, Rebecca. Or should I say Rocky?" Uncle Duke gives me a kiss on my forehead and an evident wink.
Grimacing, I face Eve and moan, "Please don't tell me I look like Rocky. I've already got enough on my plate."
She only laughs in response and hands me a sandwich, "Eat. You look ravenous."
Slamming his cell phone shut, Kurt tells me that Blue isn't picking up his phone. "Blue, you idiot, what could you be doing that requires you to have your phone shut off?"
"Relax, I'm not dying in fact I feel fine. I'll call Blue later. You should go home, Kurt. You've aged a couple years," Cautiously, I smile and laugh to ease the tension until my laughter turns into hacking coughs that bring Kurt to my side.
"You don't sound fine."
My tone takes a turn for the snappy, "And I'm pretty sure I don't look fine but I can handle this by myself, okay? You're not my mom."
"But I am someone that loves you."
"What?"
Turning red, he buries his face in his hands. "Not like that. We're past that but … there will be a part of me that loves you. So forgive me for being concerned. By the way, there's nothing you can do to make me leave."
"And there's nothing you can do to make me leave." Annoyed, I mimicked.
Kurt smirked his usual crooked smirk, "It's nice to have you back."
With an equally superior smirk, I retort. "I feel super to be back."