Watching some of the Citadel DLC videos got me thinking. If a FemShep can wake up the next morning having shagged either Vega or Javik (which incidentally never stops being hilarious) then couldn't ManShep have a drunken tryst with someone as well?

Plus there's the fact that Tali is wasted from basically the start of the party. If she was drunk enough to get an omni-tattoo, I'd think she was drunk enough to fall into bed with the Commander.

Speaking of, I'll put lunchmeat5000's suggestion in next. It'll take some creativity, and will likely be shorter than the others in this collection, but it'll be there.

Anyway, curtains rise!

Ciao

As any one that drinks would tell you, hangovers after a party suck. Hell hangovers in general suck. Mostly they just serve to remind the individual that drinking has a hell of a consequence.

Well except for people like Jack who didn't get hangovers goddammit.

Naturally for everyone else at the party who drank a lot, they woke up with very heavy hangovers. Commander Shepard's was not better. Hell to him, he felt like someone dropped the Citadel right on him. An oddly warm Citadel but whatever. Still, they had to get back to it at some point and so with a heavy sigh, Shepard opened his eyes and-

Wait a minute, since when is my room purple? Did someone change the light or something?

Forgoing any hangover pain, Shepard decided to get up and investigate. His first clue came when his vision was fogging up.

That doesn't happen unless…

Reaching for his face, his fingers met glass instead of his skin which only confused him further. He found he could pick up the glass however which also happened to remove the purple vision he was getting.

Okay so this was the problem. What was it anyway-Oh fuck.

An accurate comment as Commander Shepard was currently holding a mask. Not just any mask, but Tali's mask at that.

Why the hell was I wearing it? Wait, where is Tali? Oh shit she's going to be sick!

He made to sit up only to find a heavy weight keep him down. He looked to see what it was and felt his entire body blush.

For there, laying on him, was a naked Tali'Zorah vas Normandy. Incidentally, he wasn't clothed either. You don't get many other conclusions from this kind of evidence.

I slept with Tali…I slept with Tali…Oh this can't be good. I mean it's great but it's not good for her!

Despite how elated he was at finally getting to be with his secret love, he wasn't too pleased at the circumstances of it all. He would rather have liked to remember their night together. Furthermore there was the fact that she was naked and had no protection from her suit. So, with great reluctance, he woke her up.

In Tali's mind, she knew she would never drink again. These "hangovers" as humans called them were the worst thing ever. She'd had an easier time fighting the Geth than she had dealing with this nightmare. Still, she had to wake up because someone or something was poking her and it was getting really annoying.

"Whoever you are, stop doing that. I have a shotgun." She mumbled out, hoping it would drive them off.

"I'm afraid I need to insist Tali." That got her attention and her eyes flew open, looking up at Shepard with surprise.

"Shepard? I'm not in the best state but do you need me for something?" She blushed a little at his closeness.

"Yeaaaaaah I'm going to need you to get off me…and um…put your suit back on. Y'know, before you die."

Get off him? Put my…MY SUIT?!

She looked at herself and found, to her shock and horror that her suit was indeed off. She scrambled off him and looked for the pieces of her suit, which had made their way all across the room. Of course she didn't notice in her frantic state that Shepard had been trying very hard not to stare at her naked body. A task that would prove hazardous as he felt the blood rush to…well you can guess where.

I gotta keep this somewhat civil here!

Oh right the story. Tali on the other hand had managed to find the pieces of her suit and yet she didn't want to put them back on. She took in the situation and looked over at Shepard, who had a pillow over his groin.

"Uh…I guess we…"

"Yeah. Guess we did. We uh…we did."

Feeling bolder than she had before, Tali moved back to the bed and sat down next to him, turning herself to face him.

"Was it…good?"

"To be honest, I don't remember. I think there was a lot of drinking during the party. I even found Grunt half asleep in the shower."

"Oh. So it was just…drunken sex." He raised an eyebrow at her.

"You sound disappointed." Her eyes widened and she raised her hands defensively.

"No no! I'm sure it was great! Just…Keelah I don't know Shepard!" She put her head in her hands then and cried softly. "I certainly didn't plan on this! What am I supposed to say?" Her words rang true and he pulled her close suddenly, wrapping his arms around her. She blushed madly at the contact, even more so after the heavy moan she let out at the contact.

"Wow. Guess your skin is really sensitive huh?" She nodded ever so slightly, finding words to be rather challenging right now. They simply lay there for a while, letting silence overtake them until she risked it by wrapping her arms around him.

"Tali?"

"Shepard…John. I have wanted this for so long. Even if neither of us can remember it, I'm still happy." He said nothing for a while until he put his hands on her cheeks and turned her to face him gently.

"The best thing about memories is that you can always make new ones Tali."

He leaned in close and kissed her passionately, and she quickly responding in turn. Through that alone, it was clear that they both wanted this, a revelation that made her very happy. The burning need for air though pulled them apart, leaving them both panting lightly.

"It admittedly isn't how I wanted to start us off Tali but," he paused to give her a charming smile. "Will you let me try again?" She smiled back at him and kissed him this time.

"Of course. Now," she straddled him suddenly. "What was that you were saying about new memories?"

Other time-consuming distractions made the original structure of this forgotten. Ergo why the ending kinda sucks.

But there it is regardless. Hope you liked it.

Ciao.