AN: Hello, dear readers. I am sorry about the long delay in getting this chapter out. I've got a lot going on in my own life and this had to take a back seat for awhile.

Here is the next installment. I hope you enjoy it and let me know what you think!

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Chapter 14

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I awoke early, my limbs curled around the body of my beautiful man.

He was still asleep and I welcomed the chance to study his features without restraint. His back was to me and I took in his smooth skin, the strength of his shoulders, the narrow curve of his hip, and the way his body rose and fell steadily with each breath. His hair was in disarray, as usual. But I smiled knowing that, this time, I had helped to cause the chaos.

I carefully leaned on my elbow to peer over him, trying not to disturb his sleep. His face was flawlessly peaceful with no signs of stress or tension to be found. His lips were even curled slightly, into a small smile. He seemed content and he was breathtaking. I could only hope that he'd moved beyond some of his insecurities, and that the peacefulness would remain after he awoke.

Last night had been quite a roller coaster of emotions for both of us, but I couldn't have been more satisfied with the outcome. Edward was in my arms, and although I was no closer to understanding him, I wouldn't have traded this moment for anything.

He began to stir, and I took the opportunity to get up and relieve myself. Plus, I figured it would be better if I was not there when he woke up. I didn't want things to be awkward for him.

I wondered how he would feel about last night in retrospect. Would he regret it? Would he feel like I took advantage of his vulnerability? Would he run away again?

Pushing those thoughts away, I tried to relax and just enjoy this time with him, however long it might last.

After my morning hygiene routine was complete, I drifted into the kitchen to put on a pot of coffee. It was going to be a busy day for me. I had an important meeting with a client today and my first therapy appointment was directly after work.

I had almost forgotten about the latter, with all that went on yesterday, but this was a pretty big deal for me. Dr. Cullen had recommended that I meet with Dr. Webber, a colleague of his, who he claimed was one of the best. I had no reason to doubt him, but I was still a bit skeptical about the whole thing.

I heard the water running in the bathroom, which shifted my thoughts seamlessly away from therapy. My stomach fluttered a little in anticipation of seeing Edward, awake that is. I hoped he would feel comfortable and that things would not be awkward between us.

He strolled out, wearing my jeans again and a shy smile on his face. "Good morning," he uttered softly.

My anxiety vanished instantly. I could get used to hearing that sweet voice every morning. I answered brightly, "Good morning, Edward. Would you like some coffee?"

"That sounds great."

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***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***EE***

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The day had passed quickly and I was now on my way to Dr. Webber's office. My nerves were escalating, but I was trying my best to keep them in check. I really had no reason to be nervous. But, I couldn't help feeling a little uneasy about the idea of bearing my soul to some stranger and having them pick me apart.

Still, I had promised to try and had only committed to one therapy appointment. So, if things went horribly, I'd never have to go back again.

My anxious hands gripped the wheel, as I drove. I really wanted to get this over with. Needing to distract myself, I turned my thoughts to Edward.

I had fully expected things to be weird between us this morning, but that wasn't the case at all.

We relaxed on the couch with our steaming mugs of coffee and chatted casually, as if this was what we did every day. If only that could be true.

We shared about our plans and schedules for the upcoming week, learning a bit more about one another. His passion for his studies was evident and I really respected and admired his dedication.

I told him about my newest client at the firm and the meeting today that would hopefully clinch the account. The conversation flowed easily, but all too soon we both needed to move on and get ready for our respective days.

I didn't have the guts to tell him about the therapy thing just yet. I didn't want to scare him away and explaining the appointment would lead to explaining why I needed it in the first place. And I really wasn't ready to go there yet. But, if things continued to move forward with us, then I would tell him soon.

I stood and walked Edward to the door, asking if I could see him again sometime. His reply was careful but encouraging, "Sure, Emmett, that would be nice." I smiled broadly and decided to take the initiative, pulling him in for a slow, lingering kiss before letting him go on his way.

My lips were tingling, even now, as I remembered the way his mouth felt against mine. I didn't dare think of the other things that amazing mouth could do, because I was pulling into the lot and the last thing I needed was to walk into my appointment with a raging hard on. What a wonderful first impression that would be.

I parked my Jeep and rushed into the building. Traffic had made the drive longer than expected and I didn't want to be late. That would probably mean something bad and I wanted to give a good impression - that I was not crazy and that I was a hard working, normal, on time kind of guy. I was probably over thinking this, but it couldn't be helped.

Exiting the elevator, I hurried down the hall to the correct office. As I entered and glanced around, I saw that there was only one other man in the waiting room. My eyes widened as I took in his appearance. He was dressed from head to toe in muddy brown clothes. Literally. Everything he wore was caked with dried mud. He was turned away from me and whispering to the empty chair beside him.

I took a deep breath and forced myself to remain calm. At least I wasn't that bad off. My odds of making a good first impression just went up considerably.

I walked quietly to the other side of the small room and sat, avoiding the gaze of the mud man.

Luckily, I was rescued a few moments later. My savior was a pretty young woman, not much older than me, who came out of the office and called my name. As I approached her, I noticed that her name tag read Dr. Webber. I hadn't expected this. I guess I was picturing some old professor type with a mustache or something. Not very open-minded of me, I know, but I really didn't have much to go on. I'd had no prior experience with this type of thing.

She insisted that I call her Angela and was very non-threatening and easy to talk to. I found myself telling her things I had never said aloud before. She just listened, asked for clarification here and there, and generally let me talk it out. It was really cathartic for me and I wished I would have done something like this years ago.

I didn't realize how much baggage I was still holding onto regarding my Dad's battle with cancer and subsequent death. And that had only been amplified by my own cancer diagnosis.

Angela and I discussed my surgery and how it made me feel. Before today, I had thought of it purely in terms of the cancer aspect. But, I was learning that it had affected me on another level as well. My masculinity had been threatened, at least in my own mind, and I hadn't dealt with that at all.

Our session didn't suddenly eliminate these feelings and insecurities. It was going to be a process of healing, but I already felt like some of the weight had lifted from me. Acknowledging my fears was the first step to overcoming them.

I told her a little about Edward, no specifics, but just that I'd recently been with a new partner and had worried about his reaction. I had sort of forgotten in the heat of the moment, but my missing testicle hadn't seemed to bother him.

Angela suggested that it would be a good idea to talk this out with Edward sooner rather than later. I knew she was right, but I couldn't help being extremely nervous about the prospect of sharing this information with him. Plus, he was the son of my oncologist and that brought on a whole other set of anxieties and complications.

She agreed that it would not be easy and that I should do it in my own time, but also reminded me that it would probably get harder as Edward and I became closer. And moreover, if he couldn't accept me in spite of this, then he really wasn't worth having.

She was so right. I needed to be honest with him and promised that I would try to tell him soon.

Angela said that I was doing really well, considering. She thought that it would be a good idea to continue meeting, if I felt comfortable.

I agreed.

Our session had relieved some of my stress and the women in my life would be very happy that I had someone to talk to. I could tell Angela things that I would never reveal to Rose or Mom, out of embarrassment, pride, fear, protectiveness, etc.

It would be good to have an impartial listener to speak to. And Angela was kind and compassionate, but also very honest with me.

Before I left, she gave me a hug and I thanked her for her patience with me. She assured me that it was her job and she was happy to help in any way she could.

I headed home feeling pretty good, but supremely nervous as well. I needed to talk to Edward, and soon. It was the right thing to do for both of us.

I had asked him to communicate openly with me and yet I had not reciprocated. As if cancer wasn't reason enough to make him run, I hadn't been forthcoming with him and I wasn't sure if he would be okay with that.

We certainly weren't at the point where we knew everything about each other, but this was a really important aspect of my life and he needed to be aware of it. Then he could make the choice if I was worth sticking around for.

Knowing might change things for him. I wouldn't blame him if he found that being with a cancer patient was too difficult. It would be very understandable, but, the possibility seriously scared me. As short as our pseudo-relationship had been, I was falling for Edward. And I was falling hard.

I tried to remember what Angela had said and kept repeating it over and over in my mind. Be honest and be true to yourself and if he can't accept you then he isn't the one for you anyway. It was true, I knew that, but if he couldn't accept me I knew I would be crushed. Yet, I had to tell him and find out. And I had to do it immediately.

I picked up the phone and sent him a text. I knew he'd still be in class but I wanted to get the ball rolling before I lost my nerve.